Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming
Walking to work in a busy city. A young woman walks past, then a couple of guys. The guys push others out of the way and obstruct the way whilst they ogle the young woman. Not a care about what they are doing. If you tut or walk around them they say, “You’re just jealous.”
Not really.
– Anonymous
Location: Whenever there are humans around
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When I first saw the call for volunteers on SSH, my first instinctive thought was, “So this really does happen in the U.S. too.” When I joined the SSH team, I realized that my social media colleagues came from places that we unthinkingly refer to as “developed,” and therefore assume to be devoid of street harassment. Growing up, I would often hear friends say that they can only wear what they want on holiday abroad because home in Egypt was the only place where we had to deal with things like catcalls, especially if we’re wearing a revealing outfit. For a long time, I accepted these ideals as facts.
By the time the Egyptian revolution took place, I saw a whole new side to street harassment- mob attacks, deliberate sexual violence and so on. Since then, the problem with talking about street harassment in Egypt became more about people outside the region had to say to us about the issue. In many analyses and comments, street harassment was portrayed as an “Egyptian problem” – some horrific, unchangeable, and, most importantly, exclusive reality to Egypt. Anyone living in Egypt knew that while less violent forms of street harassment may take place in other countries, it was difficult to make a similar claim of the type of mob attacks that were happening in our country. Nevertheless, the type of claims made by Western media provided the incentive to embark on movements and organizations that would give alternative explanations to street harassment in Egypt.
Then the infamous Delhi gang rape case made it to headline news. In the aftermath of the incident, I heard many confidently make the claim that India was no place to visit because “they have a rape problem.” What surprised me was that some Egyptians also jumped on that argument despite their continued effort to prove that Egypt and Egyptian culture were not pro- sexual violence. Again, the same headlines appeared classifying rape as an “Indian problem”; some explicitly classified sexual violence as a “third world”, “Asian”, “Arab” or “Muslim” issue.
And yet again, most people could recognize the prevalence of catcalls in the US or Europe, but no one ever thought of comparing them to either the Tahrir mob attacks or Delhi’s gang rape crisis.
And then Steubenville rape happened in the USA, and it became impossible not to acknowledge that the “West” or the “developed world” suffered from the same issues of sexism and patriarchy that explain the prevalence of catcalls and ultimately, rape. Of course, Steubenville is neither the first nor the only incident of its type. The only difference is that so many more people were now aware of the double standards employed in the discussions about street harassment.
It is impossible to overlook the manner in which racist analyses of street harassment can and have undermined the fight against it. We often hear and share stories about negative perceptions to street harassment, the most important of which is denial. Denial functions on many levels, the most condescending of which involves a certain blindness to the parallels between Tahrir, Delhi, Steubenville, and many others. Sexual violence is not a problem inherent to any one culture; it is a global problem.
Yasmine Nagaty is a Political Science graduate and an aspiring writer from the American University in Cairo and currently works at the Egyptian NGO Misr ElKheir. You can follow her on Twitter.
A group of 6-12 men sit on the sidewalk at this location every single day from morning till night. They drink beer, stare and catcall at women all the time. Walking past them on the sidewalk is out of the question. We have to walk on the road and risk being hit buy a car.
– Anonymous
Location: 4215 N 2nd Rd, Arlington VA 22203
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Dear Men,
As a straight, single woman, I love you guys. I love your hairiness. I love when you do rugged and manly things outdoors like setting stuff on fire. I love how stoic you are, yet still get choked up when you watch the episode of Futurama about Fry’s dog. Unfortunately, sometimes I get the feeling that you don’t love me—and other women, for that matter—back. I’m talking about street harassment: whistles, catcalls, horn honks, etc. Pretty much all those little things guys tend to do that you think are complimentary but are actually demeaning and frightening.
I can almost hear your arguments of rebuttal from here. Believe me, I’ve heard many of them before: Women secretly like it… It’s showing appreciation… I’m just being nice… Women are just too stuck up… I don’t mind when women objectify me…
Gentlemen, as I said before, I like you. A lot. I’m sure there is one of you out there I’ll meet someday that I will love even. So I’m going to let you in on a secret—a secret, insider, girls-only secret. When you do those things, they do not make me feel attractive. They do not make me feel like I would be safe in your muscular embrace. They do not make me swoon in awe of your sexual prowess.
They do make me feel that you might be the type of person who would attack me and rape me, that you are a predator and I am your prey. They make me feel like I should cross the street with my head turned away, eyes cast down in shame for daring to wear a skirt or dress or running shorts. They make me see you as the type of goon Batman pulverizes without breaking a sweat. They make me feel sick inside. I’m pretty sure most women feel the same way (though truthfully I can speak only for myself). If you care that much about us, then you should respect us enough to stop. If you continue to harass women on the street, then you don’t really care about us; you care about your own selfish personal gratification.
I am going to go out on a limb here and assume that we are, for the most part, all adults here. What separates men and women from boys and girls isn’t the number of years they have been alive or their ability to grow body hair, it’s their capacity to understand and respect each other. Children are selfish because that is the only way they know how to be. Their scope of life is limited. Adults, however, have history. We have baggage we carry with us whether we realize it or not. All this baggage—the good and the bad—helps us to be unselfish and to see things from others’ perspectives. A lack of mutual respect results in grown-up children: adults who still think only of their own immediate wants and desires. When men fail to see things from women’s perspective, fail to listen to us, you are not behaving like men. You are behaving like boys.
This brings me to my final point: how can men possibly understand women? How can you possibly understand that we are not being too stuck up or overly sensitive when we object to street harassment? Frankly, there is a very simple answer. Allow me to share this story as an explanation:
It has become something of a tradition among my high school friends and me to gather periodically for movie marathons. One of our most recent marathons was the Alien franchise. I was particularly excited about this, as I had never seen any of these films before. (As a side note, my final verdict: Alien and Aliens are perfectly awesome, three and four are negligible, Prometheus had its flaws but is overall pretty good.) During the course of watching the first movie, my friends and I (three men, three women including me) got to talking about its underlying themes of rape and male violation. Paul, one of the friends who hosts these get-togethers and who writes a movie review blog (Man of Constant Hatred), pointed out that the whole concept of the face-huggers—especially in the original when they first attack John Hurt’s character—illustrates sexual violation of men. Think about it: the face-hugger surprises Hurt and latches itself over his face, specifically over his mouth. It refuses to release him until after it has had its way with him, laying its eggs inside him—in other words, raping him. This rape ultimately results in Hurt’s death.
Gentlemen, how do you feel when you watch this movie? Uncomfortable? Squicky? What does make you feel that way? I don’t know; I’m a woman. I’m just trying to help you all put yourselves in our place.
I am not going to tell you that you need to get in touch with your feminine side or express your feelings more or anything like that. All I can do is present my feelings and opinions on the matter. It’s up to you to respect them, hopefully after taking a while to consider what real respect looks like.
Sincerely,
Emily C. Williams
Emily C. Williams is a middle-school English teacher and a writer of novels. She holds degrees from the University of Mary Washington and the College of William and Mary. She currently lives in Richmond, Virginia.
In just one of, sadly, many incidents, I had been to my then boyfriend’s graduation in the middle of July and had already panicked about what to wear as I’d run out of clean clothes. I chose a coral coloured mini skirt, white vest and matching coral cardigan. The colours may have been bright but the look was quite smart. As we were walking down the street (me, my ex and his parents), I was subjected to a range of cat calls and slurs by two men stood outside a Burger King. My ex and his parents stayed silent throughout whilst I carried on walking, humiliated and heartbroken that nobody stood up for me. It was broad daylight and on a busy high street and I couldn’t believe it had happened when I was with a group of people.
I’d been used to it happening regularly whilst I was on my own but never expected it to happen in the UK whilst out with a boyfriend and his parents. Fortunately my current boyfriend isn’t so much of a coward and was horrified when I recounted this story. People need to know that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable in any circumstances and women shouldn’t need to feel vulnerable and ashamed whilst going about their daily lives.
Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?
– Anonymous
Location: Cardiff, UK
Share your street harassment story for the blog.