I’m a 21-year-old girl with a unique style. I have a funky hairstyle that I used to dyed blue, several piercings on my face and my outfits stand out. I also dislike wearing pants so it’s short skirts for me all the time (the length is max. a bit over knees) and I used to have a pet rat on my shoulder all the time so it’s safe to say I get a lot of attention when I’m on the street and I also live in a very small and closed-minded country.

So when I walk by, people stare and comment all the time. I really don’t mind them staring since it is a bit different and people stare when they see something they’re not used to. Sometimes, when I’m in a good mood, I even smile back. From time to time I even get some nice comments and questions about my style and about my rat which I always answer politely and I even feel happy about it.

However it’s not so pleasant all the time in fact my experiences are rarely pleasant. Since I’ve had this style for several years I ignore the dirty looks and I wear headphones most of the times so I don’t hear rude comments. I even used to tell rude guys that came up to me and called me names right in my face that I have a crazy skinhead boyfriend who fights a lot. I made that up but it made them leave me alone.

I get a lot of comments around Halloween because apparently people fell the need to tell me every year that Halloween was tomorrow/yesterday. I usually ignore those as well but I remember once I was already in a bad mood and I was walking down the street with my friend (she also has a different style) and a couple of guys drove by and one of them yelled from the car, “Hei!! Halloween was yesterday!” then I snapped as I was already in a bad mood and yelled back, “Guess what? I hear that every year! next time you want to yell at someone on the street at least make it original!”

The guy then had this shocked face and just rolled up the window of his car and drove away. This particular situation wasn’t so bad since in the end I told them what was on my mind and I hope that because of the shock they won’t do that ever again, but I do get mad about the whole idea in general. I could as well walk around and tell everyone that wears different clothes then me, “Oh nice costume but Halloween was yesterday!” and believe me sometimes I do think that of some outfits I see on the streets but I don’t because it’s rude and I have no business telling people what they should wear and I would appreciate the same.

Besides rude guys the most attention I get is from – you won’t believe me – old ladies. They always comment on how I’m dressed and how I look and once some old lady even yelled at me and my friends that god doesn’t love us because we were all wearing black. I thought that one was really rude even thought I’m an atheist.

My latest defense from old ladies is that I calmly and nicely tell them, “You know, you shouldn’t judge others because maybe next time someone else will judge you. Didn’t you read the Bible?”

When I say that I also start pointing up. That one always makes them quiet. Also you know what? Not everyone that wears black is a crazy satan worshiper who kills virgins in the name of the dark lord of hell, so please if you have a grandmother that doesn’t understand that please explain it to her because it’s really annoying and besides you can’t really go to police and say that an 80 year old woman harassed you on the street.

I do have many many stories but I really want to share the episode that happened a few months ago and was really one of the worst. I was on the bus on Sunday around 1 p.m. I slept over at my boyfriend’s place and I was wearing leggings and skirt and a hoodie also no makeup and my hair was in a ponytail so besides from piercings and a metal hoodie I looked quite “normal” because I really don’t get all dressed up just to go on bus. Also since it was Sunday the buses are usually empty. The ride is also around 40 minutes. I usually don’t take that bus but the one I do doesn’t drive on weekends. I didn’t know at the time but I found out pretty soon that it was a football game that day and the fans here are really famous for being totally nuts and fight a lot. Also the stadium is only a few stops away from where I live.

So back to the story: I was sitting on the seat for 2 people because as I said earlier buses are usually empty on Sundays so I was sitting on one seat and I had quite a big purse so I put it on the other seat but had a strap around my shoulders. I had my earplugs so I couldn’t really hear anything and I was sitting by the window and was looking out so I wasn’t really paying attention then when I felt something pulling and I look around and there was a guy sitting on my purse!

I thought that was really rude he couldn’t even, you know, poke me a bit so I could move it. So I pulled my purse put it on my knees and rolled my eyes. I really thought that was it and started looking out of the window again. Then I felt something hitting me in the arm every once in a while at first I thought it wasn’t on purpose so I just moved a bit more to the window but then it started more often and it was getting painful I figured out that he was hitting me with his elbow and also his girlfriend was the sitting on his lap and they were making out like inches away from my face and then they were yelling so even thought I had earplugs I could heard them and they really pushed me to the corner and totally invaded my personal space. So apparently they wanted to get me off my seat so they could sit there. I reacted after several minutes when my arm began to hurt because honestly I couldn’t believe that someone would be even doing something like that; I was so shocked.

I finally had enough and hit him with my elbow as hard as I could and took back my space. He totally freaked and started yelling what is wrong with me and he even looked me in face he was just inches away and he had the most psycho looking face I ever saw and he was really huge and I don’t even know how I got the courage to look him back with the pissed off look on my face and show no fear and tell him “what the f*** is wrong with you?” He then yelled, “I can’t even sit here anymore!” he pushed his girlfriend off she almost felt on the ground and then walked away. When he walked away my hand wouldn’t stop shaking and my arm was then red for several days I’m actually surprised that it didn’t bruise because my skin is really light and I get bruises really easy.

I only regret not telling the girlfriend that I she should be ashamed. If my boyfriend acted like that I would dump him on the spot. She even laughed at me. I bet that if he can easily hit girls on the bus because he wants to sit he’ll eventually start hitting his own girlfriend as well. I bet she won’t think it’s funny then. But I couldn’t really say anything to her because I was in shock and also I really didn’t want him to come back I could only act super brave for a while and I was there alone and even thought there was a bus filled with male football fans by that point none did anything. As I mentioned before these dudes are crazy and are always fighting among each other but apparently football is more reason to fight then if you see someone getting hurt. I’m not really the type of girl that wants to be saved by a big strong man but still come on!

I’m sorry for the society we live in where someone can just keep hitting on a bus with bunch of people and none does anything and I’m sorry for that girl. I really hope they broke up before she got hurt.

– Anja

Location: Ljubljana, Slovenia

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I am currently 18 and like many others have experienced street harassment since becoming a teen. Because I work in a professional environment, I am required to wear skirts or dresses, which is often seen by others as a way of encouraging staring, inappropriate comments, and stalking.

Around the age of 15 I experienced one of the most offensive experiences in my young life. I was wearing heeled boots walking home when about 3 cars pulled over and honked at me, unsure of what to do I kept walking head high, as I turned the corner another car intercepted me waving a fan of money out his window, it so humiliating I never mentioned it to my parents.

Little did I know it was just the start of it.

Another incident that stands out it happened during lunch when my best friend and her boyfriend invited me out to eat, they both happened to be in Air Force uniform, that did not stop an older man from calling me “Baby” and then standing up and following me in an attempt to look under my dress.

The most recent incident was actually when my mother and I were at a store. Two men disgustedly continued to stare at me even when I and then my mom gave them the look. When I got home my dad blamed it on me for the way I was dressed….

That day was when I started looking up other similar experiences. I wanted to know I wasn’t the only one, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t my fault, I wanted to be sure that could keep buying my pretty dresses and doing my hair and makeup without feeling responsible for the perverted comments that were unwelcome and constantly thrown at me.

– Anonymous

Location: Not listed

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Maybe this is not the worst kind of occurrence, but I would still call it harassment.

I look alternative, with piercings and ear tunnels, and although this should not even be an issue, I tend to dress in a way that covers me up pretty much.

So, I was on the bus, minding my own business, surfing the Internet on my phone, when this posh guy sat down one seat away from me and put his man-bag on the seat beside me. He asked me where the bus was going, and I told him very, very curtly. It was pretty obvious I am not a person up for small talk. Two minutes later, he asked me where I was from, and he had to ask, like, 3 times until I even looked up, startled, because I was so immersed in texting a friend. I started shouting at him so that the whole bus would hear and I told him to stop harassing me. Of course, the inevitable nonsense followed, he called me rude and badly educated (as if that mattered) and made it seem like I was the aggressor.

Maybe I don’t get something here, but I was quiet, I was sitting in the corner minding my own business, and I paid for the bus ticket like everybody else, so I should also be allowed to ride the bus in peace. It was so clearly a power thing, because that type of person would probably call the police if an alternative/goth etc person moved in next to them.

We must react, we must shame these men, let everyone know their real face, and we need laws to protect us, asap!

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

– Anonymous

Location: London, UK

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I am a dancer who is fairly curvaceous for my age (15) and tend to walk to my dance classes. The weather is usually nice and I really don’t see a problem with it.

Because I’m going to a dance class it’s uniform to wear tight fitted clothes to show muscles as we work and stretch, unfortunately this has made me a target.

It can be something as a wolf whistle or a ‘ay baby’ to something as full on as being smacked on the ass and it terrifies me. I am not your property, I am not something you can touch or look at. You have NO right to make me feel scared.

My classes tend to be pretty late and I would not classify were I live as a dodgy area but something happened a few nights ago that has changed the way I act.

I was walking home, hot, tired, sweaty and in a pretty good mood. I saw a group of teenage boys, older and taller then me sitting near the place I had to walk. I made it clear that I didn’t want to be talked to, stuffed my headphones in my ears, pulled my jacket together all the while thinking, “You’re being paranoid, they’re probably decent human beings,” I was wrong.

As I walked past I felt a hard smack across my butt, I whipped around angry, ashamed and humiliated, I yelled at them asking them, “Who the hell do you think you are? What gives you the right to touch me in that way? Oh right NOTHING!” I was about to continue when a passing woman intervened.

I thought she was going to help, instead she yelled at me, saying it was my fault for dressing that way, my fault. They were just innocent boys that I had seduced. I was crying by now and so mad. I turned to keep walking home only to be followed by the woman for half a block still yelling at me called me a whore, slut, a skank.

I am embarrassed. How dare you call me out for clothing that was simply a pair of leggings and a tight fitting t-shirt, how dare you yell at me, how dare you support blatant sexual harassment.

I told my parents this story only to be asked, “What were you wearing?”

No, that doesn’t matter, that shouldn’t matter. My clothes do not give ANYBODY the right to touch or speak to me in a manner that’s different to their peers.

My clothes do not define who I am, my clothes are not consent.

– Anonymous

Location: Auckland New Zealand

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