I was walking through downtown Vancouver to meet my boyfriend for a date. He works in the rough part of downtown, but I usually walk through the ‘hood without incident. I was dressed up a bit, wearing a nice red skirt and heels, not that that should make a difference.

A young-ish man started following me yelling at me about how nice my ass looked in my skirt. I decided to ignore him and just walk a bit faster, hoping he’d get the message and go away. Three blocks later, he was still shouting rude comments about my body. I passed a couple of homeless men who said hi and told me I looked really nice. I said thanks and kept walking.

The harasser swooped in next to me and said, “See, it’s not just me who thinks so!”

At that point, I turned to face him and said “You know, I could really do without the commentary.”

“Well, then you shouldn’t wear a skirt that makes your ass look so good.”

At that point, I was shaking with anger. I am a tall woman who has studied martial arts, so I knew I could hold my own if things got physical. Before I could think, I told him to fuck off and flipped the bird at him. He walked away after that without saying another word.

Right in front of me, a man and woman were walking and ignoring the entire situation.

– M

Location: Vancouver, BC

I was maybe 10. 11? I don’t remember. What I do recall is that I really wanted to see the Human Spider, a “freak” sideshow at the New Mexico State Fair. I gave the attendant my ticket and went through the curtained door into a dark room. In the middle, a badly costumed “spider woman.” She had a wedding ring on one of her “spider legs.” Even at that age, even in the darkness, I could tell how fake it all was. But what I couldn’t do was this: confront the man who came up behind me in the burgeoning crowd to rub his erection on my hand. I froze. My vision narrowed to that bored “spider lady,” her strange wedding ring, the musty darkness of the exhibit.  When I finally walked out into the sunlight once again, I was a different person.

Many years later, I was sitting in my mother’s living room talking with my mom, a friend, my husband…I think my kids were nearby…I don’t recall. It was night, and I was facing the big picture window that looked out on the street. What we were talking about…I don’t know anymore. But I remember seeing movement just beyond the short wall and the pine tree. It distracted me and I squinted to see what was moving beneath the dim streetlight. It took a moment for the reality to register–a man in a white baseball cap was there on the sidewalk, masturbating and staring right at me. The look of horror on my face shocked my husband who leaped up and rushed outside, not even knowing what it was that I saw. The man took off, and was gone. A few weeks later, a man was caught in a nearby park trying to grab a passing jogger. He had a white baseball cap on.

– Ana June

Location: Both happened in New Mexico–The first in Albuquerque, the second in Santa Fe.

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I am a 20-something year old, living in beautiful Vancouver, which does not seem so beautiful anymore.

Happened to me just yesterday. Me and two of my girlfriends were going to go shopping and then meet up with some more friends for dinner that evening. So I put on my favourite shirt, which is pretty long and fully covers my bum, and wore white shorts underneath.

It was around 4 p.m., in a broad daylight, and we just got off the bus in downtown. And it happened when the three of us were crossing towards the shopping mall. There were two guys walking past me, and all of a sudden, one of the two guys that were passing me by slapped my bum and strode away as if nothing had happened. It happened so fast, I was speechless and in shock for good 5 seconds. When I quickly turned around, they were already indistinguishable from the crowd. I didn’t even get to see their goddamn faces. It’s funny how nobody around me noticed.

I felt extremely violated, humiliated, and terrified. But what shocked me even more was my friends’ reaction. When I told the girls what just happened, one of them said, “Oh really? Wow, he was fast! Haha, but don’t worry, they probably did that ’cause they know they can’t get any.”

Her exact words. These girls didn’t seem to understand what ‘harassment’ even meant. They spoke of it as just some kind of unusual way of complimenting me. All I was expecting was a simple ‘Are you okay? What an asshole!’ But not even once did they ask if I was alright.

And when I told her that no, I’m not okay, and I have a sudden urge to murder whoever just did that, she responded, smiling, “Haha.. kay, stop. That’s enough.”

That’s enough? What’s enough? To say that I felt betrayed would be an understatement. I was already blaming myself for not immediately chasing after those men to at least say something. But on top of that, to have my “friends” say to me that I should just stop recalling the incident and stop dwelling on it, that really broke me.

That whole evening I don’t know how I kept my composure. I thought about going home multiple times throughout the evening, but I couldn’t. Ridiculously enough, because I was scared. Terrified… that I might be harassed again on the way home. So I hid my feelings and acted like I didn’t care, like it didn’t affect me at all. But shame and unworthiness ate me up inside…

I still can’t stop thinking about the incident, and it’s so frustrating there’s nothing I can do about it now. Street harassment has happened to me a couple times before, and I always didn’t know how to smartly hit back. And it’s frustrating to a point where I become depressed. I don’t understand why people don’t know that these things become a hideous scar that can’t be erased forever in your mind. That haunts you every now and then, And it’s painful, often not just mentally.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

I am desperate to know how to deal with harassers, but unfortunately I don’t, and I feel broken. I strongly believe street harassment should be discussed in middle/high schools. People should be educated that street harassment is a serious matter and should never be taken lightly.

– Anonymous

Location: Vancouver

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Returning from lunch today, a well-dressed and fit silver fox walking a few feet in front of me was cat-calling, whistling at, gawking at, and generally making every woman on New Montgomery feel very uncomfortable.

The construction workers outside the Academy of Art campus on New Montgomery even suggested he keep his comments to himself.

Naturally, I felt like I needed to do something, so I got all up in his bubble and proceeded to make some rather bold remarks about his physique, what I’d do with it, etc., and all-in-all returned his misogyny in kind. I got high-fives from the construction workers who said, “You’re a stand-up guy!”

I like making new friends. As for the original cat-caller, he took off, almost running. My new friends and I had a nice laugh at his expense.

– Phillip S Huff

Location: San Francisco, CA

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There is a bus stop outside Thorpe Park. It gets very busy there as people are waiting to leave the park. I was with a friend waiting for the bus when a man (I’d say in his 40’s) approached us both. He began making small talk to us – me being my shy self i responded to try and sound polite – he then began to compliment us, and asking us where we were going, and what bus we are getting.

I told him I’m not comfortable with saying that and he then got very, very close to me and proceeded to tell me what a SLUT I am for playing ‘hard to get’, and that I’m just begging for attention because I was wearing shorts.

My friend spoke up and told him to go away and as she tried to walk away he slapped her bum.

This is disgusting, it might not seem that bad but I was terrified. This man was so much older than me and yet he still thought it was acceptable to act like this? I must also note that me and my friend were 13 at the time, and I was wearing shorts because it was August and it was very hot.

People were around yet they just ignored it like nothing was happening. I’m 15 now and to this day people still act this way to women and men and think it’s acceptable. It’s NOT.

If you see someone who could be in a situation like this, even if you only get a little bit worried that something could happen, PLEASE speak up. Help them. I am so grateful my friend was there with me, if i was alone who knows what could have happened.

– Anonymous

Location: Thorpe park, Surrey, UK

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