In a diverse part of town, near a diverse private university neighborhood, I was crossing a street and a couple of college-age looking guys yelled, “You faggot.”

I am a woman who is transgender and I felt really offended. First, I am a woman and the gender respective insult would have been “Dyke.”

Another time I was riding the subway. It was crowded and a guy was groping me from behind. Even though we bumped into each other beyond the moving of the train, he was doing more than what gravity and the movement of the train would naturally do.

In both these incidents I wasn’t wearing anything that would typically be provocative or revealing. I was dressed in pants and a plain top.

– Elizabeth G.

Location: Washington, D.C.

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I have never been the kind of girl that other women envy. I have never had a curvaceous figure, or particularly attractive looks. This is why I was so shocked when I was first harassed on the street. I was trick-or-treating with two of my female friends at the age of 15. It was about 9 o’clock, but we were in a quiet, mainly suburban area, and we weren’t worried about getting lost. We crossed a major street and walked in between a drugstore and an auto repair shop. We were headed to one of my friends’ houses, only a few blocks away. Since it was Halloween, we had all dressed up, me as the paper bag princess, and my friends as an angel and a Harry Potter character, respectively.

High on sugar and excitement, I didn’t notice the catcalls that were coming from the auto shop until my friend pointed them out. The men of the shop were smoking on the stoop, and a few of them had stood up and started to move towards us.

They said things like, “Hey there, pretty baby”, “Why don’t you come on over here and sit with me,” and the worst, “You sexy-a** bitches better get over here.”

We were all freaked out. Luckily, the men were most likely drunk, because they didn’t run after us as we hurried to the next street over, which was better lit and populated. My friend called her boyfriend to come and walk with us, and we stayed on the stoop of a well-lit house that was holding a sober party until he came to get us.

That night sticks with me, even now, because of the way that other people have responded when I told them about it. My male friends said that we should have known better, that wearing costumes is asking for attention.

That truly disgusted me. Is it really so acceptable for women to be harassed because they are celebrating a holiday?

My female friends and family said that we were stupid to be out that late, that we should have had a guy with us, and that we shouldn’t have called attention to ourselves. This made me feel even worse.

Is it really necessary in these modern times to have a watch-dog or guard on hand to prevent harassment?

– Anonymous

Location: Houston, Texas

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When I was twelve years old, I was a bit of a latchkey child and I didn’t have much to wear. I would sometimes wear a tank top of my older sister’s on hot days that I didn’t realize in my innocence was a bit tight and just a bit sheer. I was developing breasts and didn’t know how to handle them yet, and the tank top had built-in support that wasn’t quite adequate, but I didn’t know. I remember getting shouted at by men in cars on my way to school and feeling so ashamed and dirty, feeling like nothing I did was right, like I was being suffocated by this awful world.

I didn’t know how to dress, I didn’t have any options, and no matter what I did I was always being watched, watched, watched.

I have an hereditary problem with stomach pain, and sometimes I have to concentrate very hard in public because my stomach is hurting so badly. When I’m shouted at, I lose my concentration and the public harassment gives me physical pain. But I think perhaps that this physical pain is just a symptom of the stress that every single woman feels; they just don’t have the searing pain to alert them to it every time it happens. This stress builds and builds, in all women.

Most mornings, mostly because of the neighborhood I live in where men linger outside of stores it seems just to ogle the women going past, I still have an overwhelming feeling of suffocation when I decide what to wear. Can I wear a short dress if I wear leggings underneath, or will I still be shouted at or whispered at or addressed on the subway? Can I wear these shorts, or am I too curvy for them and will people get the wrong idea? I find myself hiding, every day.

But recently, I’ve had enough. I find myself gaining small victories. A young boy said, “Hey baby,” to me in the street. He was about twelve years old, the age I was when I started getting harassed.

I flipped around on him and scolded him, right there in the street in front of his friends. He was a child, and I just wasn’t taking it from a child.

Then, a few days later at a train station a man said, “Hello beautiful”. There were lots of people around, men and women, and police officers in the distance. (I’m not making police officers out to be white knights, but usually when they’re visible people tend to behave themselves better just in case.) I whipped around and simply said, “Excuse me?” and made him repeat what he said. Then I said it again. “Excuse me?” He started backing off, saying, “Alright, alright, lady.’

I said, “You don’t know me,” in such a withering way that he was visibly uncomfortable.

It felt so good, and I’m getting up the courage to speak out more, and in less safe situations. I really believe that we have to fight back, and we have to risk a bit of our safety to do so. It’s the only way any freedoms have ever been gained. It’s the only way they’ll listen.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Encourage women to speak up at any opportunity: if there is a crowd of people nearby, if there are police nearby, if you are in a group, speak out. Carry pepper spray to protect yourself, and rehearse a short phrase that you can say to an harasser to make your voice heard. No war has ever been won without risk or danger. We need to start believing in our freedom, our right to a place in society, above all else. It’s dangerous enough just walking after dark, and that isn’t going to change without brave souls willing to put themselves in the face of danger and shout it down.

– Sara

Location: Everywhere

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