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Egypt: “I am revolting against harassment”

April 11, 2013 By Contributor

This is a guest blog post for International Anti-Street Harassment Week, by Amani Massoud in Egypt.

In January 2011, inspired by the nuisance of sexual harassment that women in Egypt are subject to every day…correction…every minute…of their waking hours, I wrote “What to wear on a revolution”. It was only a few days before January 25th that I sat down and had a serious discussion with some friends over what best to wear to the protests, which, even if we didn’t know it at the time, were to mark the start of the Egyptian revolution. Now I suppose if a bunch of people were to sit down and discuss that same topic anywhere else in the world, they would have talked: light or warm clothes depending on the weather, comfortable shoes or a practical outfit for the long day out, red shirt or yellow shirt, symbols, etc… but not us…we were intensely and meticulously discussing to the minutest detail how we’ll make ourselves immune to highly probable harassment. There we are at one of the greatest turning points in the history of our nation and our greatest concern was wearing “nothing that gives way to sexual harassment or a chance to have your clothes pulled off” ? Something isn’t right.

And while I’m in the business of writing great things in my head that only ever stay there, there are those rare incidents when I get my thoughts actually…well…written. Say when your country is ridding itself of a 30 year old corrupt regime or on Blogging and Tweeting Day Against Sexual Harassment to name a couple. Do I need to elaborate on how immensely I feel against sexual harassment? I guess not. I am revolting now against sexual harassment as I revolted then against political harassment.

I do not however claim to have lived for 30 of my 34 years in a country where sexual harassment against women is as frequent as the horning, beeping, cussing and cursing coming out of thousands of cars (barely) driving through the densely populated streets of Egypt. I would like to think that the intensity of the problem of sexual harassment is not as old as Mubarak’s regime and I’m pretty sure I could walk the streets of my hometown Alexandria some 12 years ago without reaching that level of frustration that makes me want to just strip naked in the middle of the street and throw myself right in front of the next passing bus…on a good day.

Yet the body adapts, and just as your ears learn to filter out the sound of horns and beeps, only enough so the noise doesn’t drive you crazy, you learn to adapt with the cat-calls and the stares. You get your vaccine in multiple dozes and you become immune. Days will go by when you just walk around in a daze completely unaware of your surroundings, humming even, until the effect of the vaccine wears off again. Then you start using all the tried and true tactics: you dress big and ugly, only to realize it has nothing to do with what you’re wearing…you stare back, only to find their stare turning into a victorious smile…you stop em in the street and give them the meanest cruelest insult you can think of, only to find them answering back meaner and crueler…you crack a joke…you say hello…you stop and pretend to ask for help (which believe it or not is by far the most/only/slightly reliable tactic)…nothing works…none of the tactics are evidence-based and if they’ve worked once with a girl you know they won’t work with you again…and if they’ve worked against one guy, they won’t work against another. And so it hits you, no matter what you do, they win, and their immunity to our tactics is growing as ours to harassment is waning.

In India they’ve got a word for this, Eve-teasing, which includes anything from street harassment, molestation, sexually suggestive remarks, groping, perverted teasing and cat-calling. There too, traditionalists blame it on the way a woman behaves or wears in public. Men are increasingly being drawn into this World they have collectively imagined up where women actually enjoy being humiliated on the streets like that. Well guess what, we don’t, and no, it has nothing to do with what we wear.  I could be wearing Firefighter Coveralls and I’d be “eve-teased” if some of those men had a remote suspicion I might be a woman.

The saddest part is that none of this is news for practically anyone, and the problem of sexual harassment is growing at the same rate as shouting out against it. Perhaps we’re not being explicit enough? Here we are trying again:

“Breaking News: It is NOT OK to Sexually Harass Women on the Streets!”

Amani is the Human Rights Education and Campaigns Director at the Egyptian Initiative for Personal Rights. Follow her on twitter.

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week, street harassment

Pennies and homophobic slurs in Los Angeles

April 11, 2013 By Contributor

I was recently, on two separate occasions, called a “F” & thrown pennies at while walking in my own neighborhood. It was a terrifying & humiliating experience. And while those thugs did make me 5 cents richer, it was totally uncalled for, especially in 2013. What a reminder of the struggles the gay community still faces – even in L.A!

– Dave Cano

Location: Los Angeles, CA

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“There is nothing funny or flattering about being followed!”

April 10, 2013 By Contributor

I have had several disturbing experiences with street harassment. My most recent experience is as follows:

Last week I was exercising at the track around the corner from my house. I noticed a man loitering around between where I was exercising and the public toilets close by me. He was there for a long while just watching. I didn’t think anything of it and walked home with my music turned up loud on my ipod. A few minutes after arriving home I decided to go to the store.

Outside, I noticed a couple of police cars but didn’t think anything of that either. As I neared the store, two police men walked toward me from a side street. They stopped me, telling me they were waiting for me to pass and needed to talk to me. They asked me, “Have you noticed the man following you?”

I responded that I had no idea and that I had my music on really loud. They asked, “Has a man approached you this morning?” and I said no, no one had.

They then proceeded to tell me that I must be extremely careful and alert all my friends that the man who was following me had been reported by several people, loitering around my house, and that he had been masturbating on the street.

It is frustrating to not feel safe doing a regular, everyday things like exercising and going to the store.

What’s even more frustrating is some of the reactions to my experience from some of my close guy friends. Things like, “I can’t believe the police caught me!!” or “I know I shouldn’t laugh but that’s hilarious!” or “If that were me I’d take it as a compliment” or “You must be flattered.” Are you kidding me? THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY OR FLATTERING ABOUT BEING FOLLOWED!

– Anonymous

Location: Sydney

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“No” is a complete sentence

April 10, 2013 By Contributor

By: Claire Biggs, SSH Correspondent

“No” is a complete sentence.

Sounds simple, right?

Already five hours in to our full force, full contact self-defense class, my classmates and I were feeling somewhat better about our personal safety skills.

I mean, that 6’3”, 250lb guy already wrapped his arm around my throat in a surprise chokehold and brought me to the ground, and I still managed to fight my way out of the situation.  As far as I – and many of my classmates were concerned – whatever came next would be cake.

Our instructor repeated it again: “No” is a complete sentence.

When you think of street harassment, what comes to mind? For me, I remember that time I was out jogging and someone threw a beer bottle at me from his truck.

But what do you do when you’re faced with more than just a passing interaction? What do you say to the person who won’t get out of your face – or out of your way?

“No” isn’t the start of a negotiation; it’s the end of a discussion. It’s a pretty revolutionary thought, if you let yourself think about it.

My fellow self-defense classmates and I quickly realized that saying “No” and meaning it were two very different things.

I remember thinking it would be a relief to get a break from slamming my elbow repeatedly into my (heavily padded) assailant’s face and solar plexus. Thank goodness I won’t have to watch my new friends get grabbed from behind and pulled to the ground, kicking and screaming.

Turns out, it’s just as uncomfortable, if not more so, watching those friends try to choke out a forceful “No” while blinking back tears.

Our class ranged in age from mid-teens to mid-50s. Some of us were victims of sexual, physical, and verbal assaults, while some just wanted to get some practical self-defense training in case they were ever put in a similar situation. We were all strong, brave women ready to come to blows if it meant getting out of a situation safely.

But there are some situations where you have to resist the urge to deliver a well-placed knee to the groin. Sure, you’re uncomfortable as hell, maybe embarrassed or furious or scared, but you’re not going to escalate the situation first.

Your one objective is to deescalate the verbal assault before it becomes a physical assault. In those cases, when you’re shaking because the man approaching you is saying things that would make Olivia Benson shiver, you have to deliver a “No.”

It’s not a “No, sorry” or a “No, thanks.”

It’s a “No.” End of discussion.

It took us more than few tries each, but after a while, we all delivered powerful, secure “No’s” that let our male counterparts know that we weren’t interested. We stayed calm, maintained strong body language, and talked our way out of scary situations.

If they discounted our “No’s,” we found other ways to end the conversation. If you’re looking for some examples, you can find assertive responses here.

Practice in front of a mirror. Have your friends role-play scenarios with you. Deliver your “No” with confidence.

Believe that it’s the end of the discussion and don’t let anyone discount it.

“No is a complete sentence.”

Remember that.

Claire Biggs spends her days writing for MTV. Her (very late) nights are spent tweeting about women’s rights and, among other things, her love of Twitter. You can find her there @ClaireMBiggs. 

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Filed Under: correspondents, street harassment

Taking Back the Streets in South Beach, Florida

April 9, 2013 By Contributor

This is a guest blog post for International Anti-Street Harassment Week, by Alan & Beckie, Florida, USA

“Men, help women feel safe in public spaces: Don’t Harass Women”

“Men, think of your mother, your grandmothers, your sisters, daughters and wife…..Don’t harass Women”

“Saying, ‘Hey Baby’ isn’t a compliment to anyone”

These are some of the many chalk messages my wife, Beckie Weinheimer and I wrote on Sunday on sidewalks in the area of Lincoln Blvd. and Washington Ave. in South Beach, FL.

Sunday was the first day of the third annual International Anti-Street Harassment Week and we decided to make kits including: a piece of chalk, a Stop Street Harassment sticker and literature about ways to address Harassers and what the movement is about.

We live in West Palm Beach, but decided to drive to South Beach because my wife has been harassed on the street many times there and the public there is generally much younger and probably more in tune with street harassment.

We found people to be largely disinterested, focused on their vacation plans, etc.  But as long as one of us was chalking, we had a steady stream of lookers and a few who wanted to engage in the dialogue.

Since my wife’s knees couldn’t take the kneeling and writing, I wrote from a male point of view and was happily amazed at all of the things I came up with for men.

After about an hour, we gave out many of our kits, engaged several people in dialogue and had dozens stop and read!

For those who are interested in doing something similar, here are short videos about what we did: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3.

Alan Kearl and Beckie Weinheimer, just moved to West Palm Beach, FL from New York City.  While Beckie has often been the object of harassing comments in public spaces, she mostly just endured it, until a few years ago.  Inspired by their daughter, Holly Kearl, and her Street Harassment research and activism, Beckie realized she could stand up for herself.  Alan and Beckie have become increasingly organized and active in promoting safe streets and bringing attention to the horrible consequences for women of harassment in public spaces.

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week, street harassment

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