Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming
I was on a long bike ride and was lost in my thoughts when out of nowhere these guys who looked like they were twenty or so started catcalling at me. It made me feel self conscious and turned an otherwise enjoyable bike ride into a bittersweet one.
– Anonymous
Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana
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This article is cross-posted with permission from the Brooklyn Movement Center.
“I said she looks nice today. What’s wrong with that? Why can’t she just say, ‘Thank you’?”
Yesterday, I was at Fulton Park in Bed-Stuy having a conversation with a man about street harassment, and I found myself at a conversational impasse. He said something both logically and socially acceptable that I knew in my gut was wasn’t right. Street harassment is such a normalized function of our male-dominated society that we often can’t discern why it’s just plain wrong.
Most people agree: rape is an abhorrent crime; following a woman home is creepy; grabbing a woman’s arm to make her talk to you is a gross abuse of male privilege. No man will admit to wanting to be that guy who scares and sexually violates women. Everyone condemns the actions of Sexual Violator Guy.
But what about the guy who yells out, “Why you so mad? Smile, you beautiful!,” while a woman is minding her own business? Men — even men who proclaim proudly to never harass women — find the line is a bit blurred there. Well, what’s wrong with smiling, one might say.
Nothing is wrong with smiling. Victims of street harassment are not ardent smile-haters. We are women who, like men, are just going about our lives and are not particularly interested in walking around wearing inane grins for the sake of entertaining our male neighbors and random strangers.
The problem is not that women don’t like smiling. The problem is that Smile Guy, in asking a complete stranger to give him a smile just because he wants it, feels entitled to receive it. The problem is that, sometimes, if you don’t smile, this dude may call you a bitch or spit at you or push you to the ground.
The problem is, when a man tells a woman to smile or “compliments” her “fat ass” or asks her if she likes it doggy style, she doesn’t know if he’s going to turn into the dude that threatens to rape her. Or follows her home and rings her doorbell at odd hours. Or takes off his shirt and chases her through the street. How do we women, walking at 10pm through a poorly lit and empty park, know that Smile Guy isn’t one bad interaction away from becoming Sexual Violator Guy?
A sticker you can give to street harassers, designed by Audrey Wayne.
This is where we need male allies to understand: yes, dudes yelling random things at us is annoying. Most of us are not against street harassment just because we’re annoyed. We’re against it because we’ve been followed, we’ve been raped, we’ve been killed. We’ve met Sexual Violator Guy, and that motherfucker almost always starts out as Smile Guy. Hey Sexy Guy. I Love Your Juicy Lips Guy.
So don’t turn a blind eye to gateway behavior. Don’t shrug, say it’s standard for men to pursue women and that it’s not harmful. It’s not harming you, but you can’t see a woman’s hand clenched around her keys in her pocket just in case she has to clock I’d Really Like To Ride That Ass Guy at 3am on her way home after a night out.
What can you do when you see I’d Really Like To Ride That Ass Guy tell Scared As All Get Out Woman, “Fuck you, ugly bitch” after she doesn’t respond to his advances?
Be Asked Her If She Was Okay Guy. Or even Offered to Walk Her Home Guy. We could use more of these guys holding us down instead of Walked Right Past Her ‘Cause It Wasn’t That Bad Yet Guy.
As Brooklyn Movement Center‘s Lead Community Organizer, Anthonine Pierre looks to bring people together to make Central Brooklyn a smaller (and better!) place. She’s a lifelong Brooklynite, foodie, and enthusiasm enthusiast. When she’s not working at BMC, she’s usually looking for the Wiz with her friends the Lion, the Tin Man & the Scarecrow.
The latest incident of street harassment toward me occurred yesterday at Meyer Park in Houston, Texas. My grandson was playing in a youth league soccer game and my son invited me to go to watch the game. My son and I were watching the game when a man bent over in front of us and displayed his backside as though he could interest me in sexual activities. I found it disgusting but I was in a difficult position, should I speak up there or wait. I chose to wait until today.
Here are the issues. First, I am 65 years old. Second, my sexual interests are primarily heterosexual. Several years ago, I was drugged and involved in sexual activities. Pictures were taken and now whenever I go out in public, people are shown those pictures and they feel justified in harassing me with obscene activities.
– J
Location: Meyer Park, Houston, TX
[Editor’s Note: This blog post is cross-posted with permission from Fem2Pt0.]
Tweet Chat: On Monday, April 8, from 1-2PM ET Fem.2.0 will host a Tweet Chat, as part of the International Anti-street Harassment Week with special guests, Shawna Potter, Executive Site Leader & Melanie Keller, site leader of Hollaback! Baltimore to discuss the unique experience of street harassment that the LGBT individuals face. You can join the conversation at #EndSH.
I was talking to a friend on Facebook last week and, when he asked me what I was doing, I told him I was writing something for International Anti-Street Harassment Week.
He had no idea what I was talking about.
I sent him a link to the website and showed him some pieces I had written before on the topic of street harassment. And he was really surprised. He’d never seen public harassment framed this way and wasn’t familiar with the concept. He certainly understood that it happens, but not to the degree that I was describing.
My research in particular focuses on the street harassment of men who identify as gay or bisexual – research I undertook for my women’s studies MA thesis that attracted 331 responses from men around the world. What I found, and what should concern every one, is that about 90 percent of the men I surveyed said they are sometimes, often, or always harassed or made to feel unwelcome in public spaces because of their perceived sexual orientation.
I’m not sure that I was surprised by my friend’s response, though.
Of the 227 men who answered the question on my survey asking them to define street harassment, only 12 referenced sexual orientation, among other identity categories, as a reason for harassment. Since street harassment has been popularized as a largely gender-specific form of violence, it is possible that men do not conceptualize it as something by which they could possibly be affected – a thought process that is documented in gay and bisexual male domestic violence research. Many men view their experiences of victimization as inconsistent with their male identity – but this shouldn’t be so.
Men who are perceived to be anything other than heterosexual (and cisgendered) face harassment from straight (and other gay/bisexual) men who operate in homosocial spaces, distancing themselves from and adversely reacting to anyone whose masculinity falls short of comporting with what they view as appropriate. They face sexualized harassment from other gay/bisexual men (usually older men, according to my research participants, but certainly not exclusively). They face harassment from a lot of people and, like the street harassment of women across all identity categories, it’s not fair.
The men I conducted follow-up interviews with disclosed a lot to me, sometimes experiences (including rape) they hadn’t ever disclosed to anyone before. And after talking to them, that’s the biggest take-away: it really, really isn’t fair.
I don’t want to live in a world where my queer brothers and sisters feel compelled to hide physical evidence of their sexual orientation, to disguise any legibility of difference. Too many men involved in my research shared that they concealed particular parts of themselves in public to pass as heterosexual. This process is draining – emotionally, mentally, and physically. As is the perpetual fear of experiencing harassment.
Approximately 71 percent of the men who took my survey said they constantly assess their surroundings when navigating public spaces. In addition, 69 percent said they avoid specific neighborhoods/areas, 67 percent reported not making eye contact with others, and 59 percent said they cross streets or take alternate routes to avoid potential harassment.
I can’t say that I experience street harassment every day, as I know many women can. I don’t have to experience it to feel its affects, because I am always afraid. I’m afraid because it’s possible, because it’s happened before and will happen again, and because we live in a society where it’s unfortunately normal and expected.
And that’s why International Anti-Street Harassment Week is so important – because, like my friend, not everyone is familiar with how systemic this all-too-common phenomenon is and how many people it affects in very real ways. The more of us who speak out, the more attention it will get. It’s about collectively amplifying each other’s voices, about standing in solidarity and saying that this isn’t okay. It’s about human rights, and creating social spaces where all humans are free from this form of public harassment.
Patrick Ryne McNeil is a feminist, a non-profit worker and an anti-street harrasment advcoate. Follow him @patrickryne
This is a guest blog post for International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2013 by Laura Palumbo, USA.
As soon as my sneakers hit pavement, I might as well be a lamp post. Does that sound absurd to you? Believe it or not, it’s how I’ve been made to feel by onlookers and passersby who have treated me like an object in public spaces. Yes, they are the vocal minority, the harassers and near-do-wells. But they still have a power and they abuse and enforce it in the form of street harassment. Despite however many positive, neighborly interactions I experience each day in public spaces – I am still forced to expect the worst every time a nearby car slows down or a stranger’s eye contact lingers.
Meet my fear in the streets.
In these spaces, my individual strengths, personal successes, my gifts and values – they don’t really matter anymore. They can’t protect or humanize me as long as there’s anyone else whose can express a disvalue of my gender. [Insert: race, ethnicity, class, sexual orientation, ability, body type…] As a walk-to-work commuter and runner, this fear of street harassment follows me daily. Sometimes the word street harassment feels sanitizing, because what we are really talking about is sexual harassment and sexual violence in the context of any public space: streets, sidewalks, public transportation, stairwells, elevators, etc.
Meet my rage in the streets.
Catcalls, sexist comments, flashing, groping, stalking, and assault impact all women and many men, especially in the LGBQT community. Street harassment like all sexual violence is a global issue, and the impact is far reaching. Hostility in our streets or public spaces changes the dynamic for everyone, and it makes these environments unsafe, unfriendly and less accessible. That is why we need to reclaim our streets.
Meet us in the streets.
As spring begins to unfold, warmer weather often means an increase in the likelihood of street harassment. This April, as a part of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, it’s time to welcome a new dynamic to our streets. Meet Us On the Street: International Anti-Street Harassment Week (April 7-13) is an opportunity to collectively raise awareness that street harassment happens and that it’s not okay. During this week, join tens of thousands of people worldwide who will be using sidewalk chalk, posters, street theater, rallies, and marches to reclaim public spaces.
Meet change in the streets.
By making the connection between sexual violence and street harassment, we can change the dynamics in our streets, schools, and homes. How will you participate?
Laura is the Prevention Campaign Specialist for the National Sexual Violence Resource Center in Pennsylvania and helps oversee Sexual Assault Awareness Month.