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She’s been harassed 3,120 times!

March 31, 2013 By Contributor

I’m almost in shock that there’s a place to write this down. I’ve been harassed more times than I could ever, ever remember. I’m 48 years old. If you assume 52 weeks a year starting at about age 12 to age 42 – that’s 30 years x 52 weeks = 1,560 and that’s not even taking into account that harassment took place absolutely more than once a week; especially at work. Assuming twice a week, that’s 3,120 times in my life from age 12-42. This is not exaggeration; merely fact.

I’m older now and while no one wants to ‘grow old’, less harassment is one benefit. It’s sad that as a woman, I am almost relieved that my youth is gone; simply because I am harassed less which gives me a chance to feel more free to move about without eyes on me, comments, glares. A man could never understand this.

As wrong as I knew it always was, I never thought I’d see the day when there would be a place to talk about it.

My usual response to harassment was loud, angry, cursing, etc. but as I got older, I’d simply ignore it and keep moving or going about my business.

The most recent incident came when the owner of our local gas station sold to new people. From the first time I went into this place I felt immediately uncomfortable. As is the case with gas stations, quite often, more than one man works there. They would all stare at me like they’d never seen a female before. It was quite bizarre. I tried to pay for my gas and go and the guy behind the counter said ‘you’re so beautiful’ which, as these things go, is not the worst thing one can hear, but accompanied by the wolfish look and the fact that it’s 3 or 4 men at once staring at you, it’s very nerve-wracking.

I went back a few weeks later and the same guy who had called me beautiful said it again and this time asked what my nationality was, which is a question I find annoying as I’m mixed heritage and it takes too long to get into when, hello, all I’m trying to do is buy gas and go about my day! Why should my day be interrupted and slowed down? By the third time I went in I was no longer Lisa or Annette or Angela, I was ‘hi beautiful’ then a wolfish stare. I like my anonymity; I don’t crave attention/harassment so I stopped going there and instead drive almost a mile out of my way to get gas without being made to feel like a piece of meat or a treat of some kind. Plus, given this place is not always packed with people, I felt unsafe and simply made up my mind; I’m not going there again.

I doubt men can understand the feeling women have of never being anonymous. I can never just go out without feeling like my presence is being noticed and thought about or commented on.

Being asked to suck someone’s **** or being called pretty or beautiful again and again, surprisingly can make me feel almost the same level of violation and annoyance. Just leave me alone; let me be; let me walk and live my life in peace, without the never ending commentary. Please.

– Anonymous

Location: New York City

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Plan to speak out against street harassment, April 7-13, 2013, during International Anti-Street Harassment Week.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Colombia: Promoting Masculinity that is Inclusive and Equitable

March 30, 2013 By Contributor

By: María Paulina López, SSH Correspondent

‘’The women’s fear to the violence of men, is the mirror of the men’s fear to fearless women.” – Eduardo Galeano

Recently, in the hallmark of a certification degree to educate and create conscience about preventing gender violence, given by the CES University and the Women’s Secretary  in Medellín, Colombia, there was published a book titled “Men caring for life.” This proposal of Denis Alonso Geldres, Rosamaría Vargas, Gladys Rocío Ariza y Silvia Gaviria Arbeláez, it’s dedicated to all Colombian women who have been victims of violence, and to the people committed to work for violence-free and equal societies.

With this model of awareness and formation they question the socialization of gender in the patriarchal model, educate men who multiply the feminist projects, involve them in the active struggle of women for equality and avoiding attitudes responsible for constant harassment.

One of the most important goals of this project is to make men conscious of the self-righteous respect women deserve in their constant interaction in the group they live in, and prevent street harassment. This abusive acts affects millions of people around the world, although there are a lot of actions we can take to try to stop street harassment, we can also make social conscience by community projects, and promote masculinities that search for inclusion and equality, compromised with women’s right to walk for our streets, to occupy freely our public spaces, to live safe and happy relationships and to have the same opportunities.

Maria is a psychology student, social investigator, and sexual educator. Follow her on Twitter, @MPaulinaLopez.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

En Espanol

“El miedo de la mujer a la violencia del hombre, es el espejo del miedo del hombre a la mujer sin miedo.” – Eduardo Galeano

Recientemente, en el marco del Diplomado de sensibilización y formación en masculinidades género sensibles y prevención de las violencias hacía las mujeres”, en convenio  de la Universidad CES con la Secretaría de la Mujer de la Alcaldía de Medellín, se ha publicado un libro titulado “Hombres cuidadores de vida”.  Esta propuesta de Denis Alonso Geldres, Rosamaría Vargas, Gladys Rocío Ariza y Silvia Gaviria Arbeláez, está dedicada a “las mujeres colombianas que han sido víctimas de feminicidios y a las mujeres y los hombres que están trabajando en pro de una sociedad equitativa, incluyente y sin violencia”

Con este modelo de sensibilización y formación se busca  cuestionar la socialización de género en el modelo patriarcal y formar hombres multiplicadores de propuestas feministas, involucrarlos para fomentar una transformación sostenible en el empoderamiento de las mujeres.

La importancia de esta iniciativa radica en la posibilidad de trabajar con los hombres para la prevención de la violencia hacia las mujeres, una de estas violencias es el acoso callejero, estos actos abusivos afectan a millones de personas en el mundo, y aunque existen muchas maneras de actuar cuando presenciamos que alguien está siendo acosada en la calle, también podemos realizar este tipo de ideas como una acción colectiva para prevenir el acoso callejero.

Sensibilizar y formar en nuevas masculinidades, es la manera de prevenir la violencia contra la mujer, incluyendo el acoso callejero. Masculinidades amantes de la inclusión y de una vida equitativa para todos, que se comprometan con los derechos de las mujeres a caminar tranquilas por la calle, a ocupar libremente los espacios públicos, a vivir relaciones de pareja seguras y felices y a tener igualdad de oportunidades.

Estudiante de psicología, investigadora social, educadora sexual MPaulinaLopez.

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Filed Under: correspondents, street harassment

Kissing without consent is not okay

March 29, 2013 By Contributor

This video contains two entire minutes of a man committing sexual harassment multiple times, and has almost a million views, and over 5,000 likes vs. 1,400 dislikes. Some of the comments thankfully call this video out for what it is, but many others insist that it’s ‘funny’ or that the guy doing this is ‘brave.’

The man in this video doesn’t ask for permission, he just walks right up, grabs the person and kisses them. Most of the kisses are on the cheek, but with several of the girls on the beach, he kisses them on the lips. Clearly, none of the people he kisses are enjoying this, most are confused if not angry, and this video is certainly not ‘harmless fun.’ It’s street harassment, it’s sexual harassment, and it is not a joke.

A lot of his videos deal with trying to make people uncomfortable, and this isn’t the only disturbing video he has. There is another set of videos, “Walk by Pickup Lines 1 and 2,” where he walks up to women and at best just asks for their number, and at worst throws objectifying or disgusting pickup lines at them (From Pickup Lines 2: “If you were a fire hydrant I’d pee on you” What?).

It does not matter that this is intended to be a ‘joke,’ it’s harassment, and he’s contributing to why so many women and some men are wary of public spaces and often feel unsafe or unwelcome in them. I’m surprised I haven’t heard about these videos before considering how boldly they display sexual harassment. This is an ugly reminder of what many, many women (and men) are subject to daily when they go out in public, and a reminder that we’re no where near finished in the fight against street harassment and it’s continued social acceptability.

This guest blog post is written by a SSH community member who wishes to remain anonymous.

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Filed Under: street harassment

USA: Speak Out with Street Art

March 28, 2013 By Contributor

By Sean Crosbie, SSH Correspondent

Last week, I attended an event called “Speak Out with Street Art” that was held at the offices of the Women’s Information Network in Washington, D.C.  This event was a collaboration among Collective Action for Safe Spaces (CASS), the Women’s Information Network (WIN), and Women, Action, and the Media (WAM!), as part of “WAM! It Yourself 2013,” a series of events being held in cities around the U.S. and Canada. These gatherings bring together local activists and others who are interested in advancing social justice and women’s representation in the media.

The purpose of “Speak Out with Street Art” was twofold: to explain CASS’s role in using “artivism” to empower Washingtonians to stand up to sexual harassment and assault, and to work with Graham, a D.C.-based artist, whose anti-harassment art is found around the city.

The evening started with an introduction by CASS’s Director of Community Outreach and Events, Zosia   Sztykowski, who applauded the efforts of local community organizations to bring attention to the issues of violence and harassment through art.  In addition to local efforts, Zosia showed the audience anti-harassment art from around the world, including one from the Egyptian Revolution showing Nefertiti in a gas mask.

Following this broad overview, Zosia turned the focus to Graham, a local artist who works in collaboration with CASS through the D.C. Artist Collective. A D.C.-area native, he has worked with numerous clients to create art that advances social causes.  Graham explained how one of the main functions of street art is to reclaim public space for the people, and not allow public areas to be auctioned off to the highest bidder (i.e. hotels, billboards, etc.). This philosophy has informed Graham’s work to a remarkable degree.

His work had an effect on me – the artwork definitely caught my attention when I saw it on the streets. I was instantly engaged and intrigued when I saw two of Graham’s artworks on the street in D.C., and I contacted Holly inquiring about the artist, and she let me know about this event.

After the presentation, the audience dispersed and separated into two groups:  one group joined Graham in wheatpasting a local D.C. neighborhood, and another joined Zosia at the office for a creative storytelling workshop, in which people shared their experiences about harassment. This was a great way to get people involved in “artivism,” and also to share their experiences in a supportive, open environment.

Street art is a great way to create an in-your-face message to combat street harassment and assault. Since both occur in public spaces, it is only fitting that the art be located in the same space, preferably on or near a site of harassment. This sends a message to the harassers that acts of disrespect and violence against women will not be tolerated—local activists will speak out!  The work of CASS and Graham are just some of the many efforts by local activists to send this message and to make a difference. Stop Street Harassment appreciates these conversations taking place and hopes for more in the future.

Sean has written for Stop Street Harassment since April 2011.  He is a library/research assistant at a labor union in Washington, D.C. and holds a Bachelor’s degree in economics from American University.

[Editor’s note, I attended the workshop too, here are my photos.]

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Filed Under: correspondents, street harassment

“Let’s Break the Chain!”

March 26, 2013 By Contributor

I am originally from Goshen, NY, but my father’s family is from Bogota. Back in 1977 I lived there for 7 months. During that time, I was amazed at the brazenness of the men…as an 18 yr old NY’er I thought I had seen/heard it all, but the groping on the overcrowded bus became too much, so I took a cab or walked from then on.

Then one afternoon while walking home, a “postman” who had just delivered our mail, slapped me on the ass as I walked by!!! I flipped out, let out a stream of very NY comments, but he just laughed and walked on. I went in and quickly told my very proper Aunt and Uncle what had transpired, and they looked at each-other and replied “tranquila, está bien”. Looks like nothing has changed in these 36 years.

I danced for V-day here in my little town of Boone NC. Let’s Break the Chain!

– Maxelle Patricia Boutelle

Location: Bogota, Colombia

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Plan to speak out against street harassment from April 7-13 during International Anti-Street Harassment Week.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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