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Colombia: Interview, One Billion Rising, Bogotá

March 25, 2013 By Contributor

One Billion Bogotá

By: Adriana Pérez-Rodríguez, SSH Correspondent

“Street harassment has become dangerously normal.” –Paola Adarve (one of the main organisers of One Billion Rising in Bogotá)

Within the framework of the International Anti-Street Harassment Week and One Billion Rising- Bogotá, I interviewed the organisers of the One Billion Rising event about street harassment Colombian women face daily and why this must change.

1. Adriana Pérez-Rodríguez (APR): Why One Billion Rising? How can it contribute towards the Colombian case?

One Billion Rising – Bogotá Organizers (OBR): One Billion Rising is a global action within the framework of V Day against violence against women, which includes verbal, psychological, physical, domestic and sexual violence in or outside of the context of the internal armed conflict. The Colombian context is meaningful if we take into account the cases of Rosa Elvira Cely, Angélica Bello, Yinnet Bedoya and many other women whose cases didn’t have such impact on the media. In Colombian, we need to rise to this situation and make people understand that such treatment is not right and that women can encounter violence within their houses, around the corner, in public transport, etc.

2. APR: Many people argue that we should not pay attention to these situations (street harassment), that it’s not highly relevant. What do you think about it? What could you say to these people?

(OBR): Street Harassment doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Failing to pay attention obeys a patriarchal culture that defines women as sexual objects and men as predators whose sexual appetite is uncontrollable –thus justifiable. Manifestations such as V-Day try to create conscience against it, stressing that ignoring street harassment, seeing it as irrelevant, will lead to ignoring everyday types of violence that women endure, normalising them.

 3. APR: What’s the best way to fight street harassment?

(OBR): The best way is uniting against: educating children in schools, organising women’s groups in local areas –for instance, groups such as ours which is organised in public spaces, attracting people’s attention in order to get heard. The most important part is not keeping quiet about or considering irrelevant any type of violence against women, recognising that we have the right to live a worthy, free from violence, life in our own houses and in the streets.

4. APR: When did you realise such behaviour needed to be changed? Why?

(OBR): It’s something that has grown with me. Colombia is a catholic and highly conservative country. Many of our mothers had to quit their job when they had their first child to take care of their houses. Many changed their last names, adopting their husband’s one and many were obliged to marry after falling pregnant before marriage. When we go out we’ve been shouted stuff at, we have witnessed horrible things been shouted at other women, while they just opt to walk faster most of the times and keep quiet. The change starts by the person who notices it, by whom shares its discomfort and tries to create conscience within their closest ones so that they spread it.

5. APR: Where do you think this behaviour (street harassment) stems from?

(OBR): From the sociocultural context that normalises notions about women and femininities like something sexualised, submissive and vulnerable. Moreover, what we see in public spaces also happens in private ones, a man who abuses his partner and feels he has power over her, is probably a man who will verbally harass women in the streets and who will probably consider that their role is to satisfy his needs. From little boys being taught that they must be “macho-like”, that only girls play with dolls and that if he doesn’t like sports he’s a “faggot”, a heterosexist and patriarchal pattern will be recreated and reproduced.

6. APR: Which are the biggest obstacles when educating people about this issue? Have you seen any changes in the social perception?

(OBR): The way boys and men are educated to treat women and the way girls and women are educated to put up with it and remain quiet. I do feel perception regarding this issue has changed a little thanks to collective actions and pressures from many sectors and women’s groups in both, urban and rural spaces. The 1257 law and the 094 decree are examples of normative and legal changes, which serve as tools to communicate to people, explain they have rights and that such behaviour should not be considered normal.

7. APR: How can the masculine public contribute towards this fight?

(OBR): This isn’t just a women’s fight. We have risen up because we are at the axis of violence, but the responsibility lies in everyone. Men, regardless their sexual identity, must be conscientious and help others do become so. The world is and must be for everyone. Women are not satisfaction machines, we are people, active citizens and we decide for ourselves.

8. APR: What would you recommend in case of street harassment?

(OBR): Do as you think best, knowing that street harassment IS NOT NORMAL. When people learn they shouldn’t put up with it, their way of acting starts changing. What I recommend is don’t to keep quiet, don’t put up with it because it’s not our obligation to do so. Our right is to feel safe in and outside our homes, to dress as we please, to go out with whomever we want to at the hours we want to and no men can steal that right from us.

Adriana is a Colombian national who’s passionate about all topics concerning social justice, especially gender-based justice.

_________________________________________

En Espanol

acoso sexual callejero se ha vuelto peligrosamente normal –Paola Adarve (una de las principal organizadoras de Un Billón de Pie en Bogotá)

Dentro del marco de Encuéntranos en las Calles, que va del 7 al 13 de abril, y hablando sobre Un Billón de Pie, las organizadoras de este evento conversan sobre el acoso sexual callejero que las mujeres colombianas tienen que enfrentar cotidianamente y porqué esto debe cambiar.

1. Adriana Pérez-Rodríguez (APR): ¿Por qué Un Billón de Pie? ¿Qué aportes podría dar al contexto colombiano?

Un Billón de Pie: Un Billón de Pie es una acción mundial en el marco del día V (V-day), en contra de la violencia hacia las mujeres, esto incluye violencia verbal, psicológica, física, doméstica, y sexual ya sea en el conflicto armado o fuera de él.  El contexto colombiano es significativo para esta campaña, si tenemos en cuenta los casos de Rosa Elvira Cely, Angélica Bello, Yinnet Bedoya, y de tantas otras mujeres que han sido ultrajadas sin que sus casos tengan resonancia mediática. En Colombia es necesario levantarse y hacer entender que no está bien la forma en que las mujeres son tratadas, que la violencia se encuentra en casa, a la esquina, en el transporte público, etc. Y debe ser detenida.

 2. APR: Mucha gente objeta que no hay que prestarle atención a esas situaciones (acoso sexual callejero), que no es de mayor importancia; ¿Qué piensa de esto? ¿Qué le podría decir a esas personas?

Un Billón de Pie: La violencia callejera no es aislada. No darle importancia a esto obedece a una cultura machista que concibe a las mujeres como objeto sexual y a los hombres como depredadores cuyo apetito sexual es incontrolable- y así excusable. Manifestaciones como V-Day buscan crear consciencia frente a esto, teniendo en cuenta que ignorar el acoso sexual callejero, pensar que no tiene importancia, es ignorar violencias cotidianas a las que son sometidas las mujeres de tal manera que se normalizan.

 3. APR: ¿Cuál creen que es la mejor manera para combatir el acoso sexual callejero? (Formación de colectivos, educación, fortalecimiento de conciencia colectiva, etc.)

Un Billón de Pie: La mejor manera es unirse: mediante la educación de los niños pequeños en colegios y escuelas, la organización de mujeres en los barrios, grupos como el nuestro que se organiza en espacios públicos llamando la atención de la gente para que escuchen nuestra causa, etc. Lo importante es que nosotras mismas no nos callemos ni le quitemos importancia a ningún tipo de violencia, es que nosotras mismas reconoscamos que tenemos el derecho a vivir una vida digna y libre de violencias, en casa o fuera de ella.

4. APR: ¿En qué momento se percató que ese comportamiento necesita cambiarse? ¿Por qué?

Un Billón de Pie: Es algo que ha crecido conmigo. Colombia es un país retrógado, católico y todavía muy conservador. Las madres de muchas de nosotras dejaron sus trabajos apenas tuvieron su primera hija o hijo, y se dedicaron al cuidado de la casa. Muchas se cambiaron el apellido al de su marido, muchas hasta se casaron obligadas al quedar embarazadas antes del matrimonio. Al salir a la calle nos han gritado cosas, hemos visto cómo les gritan frases horribles y morbosas a otras chicas, y ellas optan casi siempre por caminar más rapido y no decir nada. El cambio empieza por quien lo nota, por quien comparte su incomodidad y trata de crear consciencia en su grupo más cercano para que la inconformidad se riegue cada vez más.

 5. APR: ¿De dónde cree que se origina ese acoso?

Un Billón de Pie: En el contexto sociocultural, el cual normatiza algunas nociones sobre las mujeres y sobre lo feminino como algo sexualizado, sumiso, vulnerable; lo que sucede en el espacio público sucede también en el espacio privado, un hombre que abusa de su compañera en casa, que siente que tiene poder sobre ella, es muy probablemente un hombre que acosa verbalmente a las mujeres en la calle y que considera que el papel de las mujeres es satisfacer sus necesidades. Desde que a los niños se les enseña que está bien actuar “como machos”, que jugar con muñecas es de niñas, y que si no le gustan los deportes es un marica, se está forjando y dando continuidad a un patrón heterosexista y machista.

 6. APR: ¿Cuáles son los obstáculos más grandes a la hora de educar a las personas sobre el tema? ¿Han visto cambios en la percepción social?

Un Billón de Pie: La forma en que se les enseña a los niños, jóvenes y adultos hombres a tratar a las mujeres, y la forma en que se les enseña a las niñas, jóvenes y adultas a soportar y quedarse calladas frente a esto. Sí siento que ha cambiado un poco la percepción, gracias a acciones masivas y presiones de varios sectores y grupos de mujeres tanto en la ciudad como en las zonas rurales. La Ley 1257 y el Auto 094 son ejemplos en cuanto a normas y legislación. Estas son herramientas para que nosotras le hablemos a la gente, les hagamos escuchar que tenemos derechos, que soportar no es “lo normal”.

7. APR: ¿Cómo puede contribuir el público masculino en esta lucha?

Un Billón de Pie: Esta no es una lucha de sólo mujeres. Nosotras nos levántamos porque hemos sido el eje de las violencias, pero la responsabilidad recae en todas las personas. Los hombres, de cualquier identidad sexual, deben conscientizarse y conscientizar a los demás. Esta es una lucha conjunta, porque el mundo es y debe ser de todas y todos. Los hombres deben reconocer que no somos máquinas de satisfacción, que todas somos personas, ciudadanas activas, y decidimos por nuestras vidas.

8. APR: Ante una situación de acoso sexual callejero ¿qué recomendarían?

Un Billón de Pie: Hacer lo que le parezca conveniente, teniendo en cuenta que el acoso sexual callejero NO ES NORMAL. Cuando una persona comprende que el acoso sexual callejero no debe soportarlo, su forma de actuar cambia. No callarse es lo que recomiendo. No aguantar, porque no es nuestra obligación aguantar. Es nuestro derecho sentirnos seguras en las calles y en las casas, es nuestro derecho vestirnos como queramos, salir con quién queramos, a la hora que queramos. Y ningún hombre puede arrebatarnos este derecho.

Soy una colombiana apasionada por todos asuntos relacionados con la justicia social, especialmente justicia de género.

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Filed Under: correspondents, street harassment

“Most women do not appreciate it”

March 24, 2013 By Contributor

I was visiting a friend out of town for the weekend and arrived to a Friday evening concert event where we were meeting up. As I was walking alone from the parking area to the event entrance, two men sitting in a truck rolled down their windows and began shouting at me as I passed them.

I ignored them and kept walking — my usual response to this — but when they persisted I had a change of heart.I turned around and walked directly to the window, looked them both in the eye and calmly said, “I just wanted to let you know it is really rude to shout at someone like that, and most women do not appreciate it.”

They apologized and said they were just trying to be nice and say hi, and I told them how that behavior can be perceived as threatening.

I walked away feeling so positive and empowered, and I hope what I said had some impact on those men and their future behavior.

I have said it before but I completely credit the SSH community for empowering and encouraging me to take on street harassment in this productive way. The conversations that stem from this community allow me to think about appropriate responses to street harassment before they happen in my daily life. That way, when an instance does arise, I already know what to say and do. The difference between confronting someone for their bad behavior instead of sadly or fearfully hurrying away is monumental. Thank you to everyone who contributes to these meaningful discussions and supports each other in standing up to harassment.

Sarah

Location: Buffalo, NY

Share YOUR street harassment story for the blog

Plan to speak out against street harassment, April 7-13, 2013, during International Anti-Street Harassment Week.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“I’m old enough to be your mother, grandmother”

March 22, 2013 By Contributor

I’m reading your excellent and long-overdue book, but I think you may have missed a category. I am a professional woman, 70 years old this year, and since my hair has gone grey some men have taken to addressing me as “Young woman”!!! I retort with “put your glasses on,” “I have not been a young woman for a long time,” “I’m old enough to be your mother, grandmother,” and, “I find that insulting and condescending.”

And if they don’t understand, I say, “Boy,” especially if they are not “young men.” Some of these people are just dumb and stupid. It started a few years ago with “dear” and “hon” and not only from men but from women, also.

– Joan Abel

Location: In the office, in museums, in banks, restaurants, social gatherings, anywhere

 

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Pakistan: I Refuse to be “Frandshipped”

March 22, 2013 By Contributor

By Saniya Mujahid Ali, SSH Correspondent

In Pakistan, it is a funny concept, harassment. It’s a daily hazard, just like for any woman out there. Sometimes our male relatives get to witness it on the street and then intervene. Sometimes women get phone calls from strangers in the middle of the night and choose to ignore them. But a lot of times, these women get messages online.

Women in Pakistan who have online social profiles are highly prone to get unsolicited attention from unknown males who spam every other profile they see with the online version of love letters. Their content ranges from seemingly harmless flirtation to sexually explicit material. Their frequency? Well, you stop keeping count after the first few times. It is much more than a mere nuisance. This is harassment. Oddly enough, this is one area no one here ever explicitly calls harassment. They’ve given a much nicer cushion to it.

We term them “frandshippers”, owing to the oft incorrectly spelt and overused word in these messages. Facebook, of course, is the most glaring platform through which these “frandshippers” stalk their prey. Less common, however, is the use of professional online networks. Or so I thought.

A few weeks ago, I was checking my mail and spotted a notification mail from my LinkedIn network. It was a message from a contact I recently added. I am not quite active on it so I was a little surprised.

I opened it, and was shocked with the very first sentence I read: “after a rigorously brief overview of your profile, I wanted to let you know I have already married and divorced you in my mind”.

He went on and thanked me for “all the wonderful imaginary memories” and telling that I “can keep the house in Hawaii” but that he was “going to need half our money according to our prenup” and signed off with “you will always have a special place in my heart. Your ex-hubby”.

I sat immobilized while I tried to comprehend what an employee of a respectable multinational development organization, a person with several hundred professional connections and an alumnus of my university had just said.

What is this? Is he flirting? Is he trying to be funny? Is this his idea of a joke?

I was disgusted.  I felt humiliated. And I was furious.

This man was discounting my professional and academic achievements in order to make a wisecrack about me being his discardable object. All I had done, all I was proud of was washed aside because his view of a woman confined me to the role of a being made to service him. The nature of his message tells me that he had no interest in seeing me as a respectable professional, but as someone who was subject to his sexist whims.

Is that all women are even to these seemingly professional men? How is this not considered harassment here? Why can’t I do something about this? I have his information, I have evidence, yet I can’t do anything that can convey to him what his message made me feel. I felt helpless and furious at myself.

About everyone I talk to says that sexist attitudes, harassment and gender related crimes are due to the fact that the men here are uneducated. There was a time when I subscribed to this idea as well. Education is the miracle drug. Education this, education that. Education will save us all!

With a population comprising of 55% illiterates and increasing, it may seem like a probable proposition.  It did. But then I realized the problem with it.

What is this “education” that they’re talking about? In the conversations I’ve had, by implication they mean formal education. But what does that mean? So a person, man or woman, will magically become unprejudiced if he or she has a degree? Is that all you need? This man, despite his “education,” his work experience, had still stooped to “frandshipping” me online. My being had been distilled to nothing more than a disposable sexual object. He didn’t even see me as worthy of his respect.

What I wish to impress upon people is that the relation isn’t as simple, as one dimensional as people make it out to be in Pakistan. For one, an educated man is no guarantee to a non-sexist one. Second, it seems a very convenient way to not do anything about it and let the problem ride itself out. Here’s the thing: it won’t.

We can’t just sit around and wait for things to happen in due course.  There has to be constant engagement, a conscious effort in recognizing the patriarchal ideas that we are bombarded with every single day. We need to be able to identify the underlying bias and sexism and proactively fight against it. We need action. We need resistance. And the time is now.

I am a woman and I demand to be seen with the respect a human deserves. I refuse to be “frandshipped.”

Saniya is pursuing an undergraduate degree in Sociology and Anthropology. You can read more of her work here.

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Filed Under: correspondents, street harassment

USA: My Name Is NOT…

March 21, 2013 By Contributor

By: Talia Weisberg, SSH Correspondent

My name is not Baby. I have not been an infant for about 17 years, and my preschool days happened long ago. I am not an immobile, helpless being incapable of taking care of myself, dependent on others to ensure that my basic needs are met. I am, if not a grown woman, getting to be a young adult. Certainly not a baby.

My name is not Shorty. Yes, I am a mere 4”11, and I have always been happy to be a short person. However, my height or the pride I take in it does not determine what nickname I go by. Even if it did, you are a stranger, and have no right to be so familiar with me.

My name is not Bitch. The last time I checked, I was human, not canine. And while I may exhibit aggressive behavior upon occasion, I don’t think I can be categorized as “a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman” (as defined by Merriam Webster).

My name is not Smile For Me. Why should I smile for you? What right do you have over my expression of my own emotions? If I’m having a really crappy day, why should I smile to make you feel satisfied? Even if I’m having the best day of my life, I’m not going to smile simply because you want me to. My lips, my teeth, my feelings. My decision to do what I want with them.

My name is not Sexy. I am flattered that my physical appearance appeals to you, but please, find a non-threatening way to express your interest, if you must articulate it at all.

My name is Talia. It’s a name that means a lot to me, since I’m named after my grandfather. He passed away about seven years before my birth, and it was really important to my mother to memorialize her cherished father through her child. Since his name was Naftali, she feminized it into Talia. That is my name, and I invite you to call me by it.

My name is not Baby or Shorty or Bitch or Smile For Me or Sexy. And for the record, neither is any other woman’s.

Talia Weisberg is a Harvard-bound feminist hoping to concentrate in Studies of Women, Gender, and Sexuality. Her work has appeared in over 40 publications and she runs the blog Star of Davida blog (starofdavida.blogspot.com).

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Filed Under: correspondents, street harassment

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