Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“My right not to be sexually harassed”

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Here is a blog entry I wrote about a time when I was street harassed:

I write to you tonight as a VERY PISSED OFF WOMAN. I’ll just go ahead and tell the story before I start ranting.

So…Every Thursday I attend meetings for a university organization called PAGE- People Acting for Gender Equality. Basically, we are one of many student organizations on the Ohio University campus fighting for open-mindedness and equality when it comes to all genders, sexual preferences, body types, yada yada yada all that good stuff. Anywayyyyysss, as I walked out of my building I noticed a group of boys (yes, I’ll call them boys, not men) drinking on a balcony above me. One noticed my t-shirt and yelled, “Hey, red shirt,” and mumbled some other comment that I ignored. I kept walking, writing him off as just another guy trying to get a girl’s attention. I was wrong.

He followed his little comment with, “Let me lick that pussy!”

UMMMMMMM, many of you probably don’t know me that well, but if you do you can probably guess that I didn’t let him get away with that. I am so tired of just walking away from comments like this, and I know other girls are too. Too often we just let it slide, but if we ever expect to make this world at least a little better we have to put people like this in their places. Needless to say, I turned around and gave him quite a large piece of my mind.

I started off pretty calmly and said, “I don’t know who just said that, but you should rethink ever saying that to another woman again, especially not as she’s walking down the street.”

They hated it. There were about five guys on the balcony, and not only did they deny saying it but also got completely defensive. They started with the excuses and saying how I’m just mad because I’ve “never gotten laid.”

They also seemed to think the words “bitch” and “dyke” offend me; little did they know that those words only empowered me further. I’m proud that I can be a bitch because that just means that I stand up for myself. If being a bitch means that I’m not a pushover then so be it. And who gives a SHIT if a girl is a dike. MORE POWER TO YOU. GIRLS ARE BEAUTIFUL, AND SEX IS GREAT! I hate closed-minded people more than I hate salmon patties, and that’s a lot– ask my mom.

I went on with many more comments; you can probably imagine them, so I won’t go on and on about it. But this is just one example of the millions of idiotic statements that are made every day.

PLEASE help put a stop to it. If you hear anyone making comments like this, tell them they’re wrong. I’m pretty surprised that not even one of the guys on the balcony stopped the other ones. They all thought it was acceptable to go on screaming at me. It’s one thing to make a joke. It’s one thing to use the word “bitch” or others like it; I do it all the time. But that guy had absolutely no right to say that to me.

You can preach free speech all you want, but when he opened his mouth he infringed on MY rights– my right not to be sexually harassed by some drunk dumbass.

Those guys were just pissed that I stood up to them. Instead of giggling and smiling and taking it as flirting, I said exactly what they would say if a gay guy said to them, “Let me suck that dick!”

It’s unwanted attention and a ridiculously disrespectful comment.

“A woman should be proud to declare she is a Bitch, because Bitch is Beautiful. It should be an act of affirmation by self and not negation by others…If taken seriously, Bitch is a threat to the social structures which enslave women and the social values which justify keeping them in their place. She is living testimony that woman’s oppression does not have to be, and as such raises doubts about the validity of the whole social system.” – Joreen (Jo Freeman), The BITCH Manifesto

– Taylr U

Location: Outside of my apartment on a college campus, Ohio

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USA: Hypermasculinity and Street Harassment

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By Sean Crosbie, SSH Correspondent

Street harassment is one of the by-products of the culture of hypermasculinity that is so pervasive in our society. David L. Mosher and Mark Sirkin provide an excellent list of the typical behaviors of hypermasculinity in “Measuring a macho personality constellation,” published in the Journal of Resarch in Personality: degrading attitudes towards women (i.e. viewing them as property), violence as a manly ideal, and the thrill of danger. All of the behaviors that Mosher and Sirkin describe create cultures of both entitlement and silence. Some men feel entitled to interact with women in an inappropriate manner; likewise, a culture of silence ensures that these behaviors will be accepted and not judged by other men in the group. Men on the sidelines may be afraid to break what Michael Kimmel refers to as the “guy code.”

In a previous blog post, I wrote about how women feel like targets in our male dominated public space, and how this has effects on women’s use of that space. The two friends who I interviewed for the post also had strong opinions about how hypermasculinity is a factor in street harassment. While both cited the culture of silence as a hindrance to constructive action, interviewee 2 noted how “having a girl on your arm” and playing games to get a woman’s attention (even if she is not interested) is seen as macho:

…Having a girl on your arm is seen as masculine. Being able to get that girl with a cat-call I suppose is macho…Society definitely plays a part in how people act because, naturally, we care what others think of us. And there are games that people play to get each other’s attention. It is when one of the people involved is clearly uninterested or feeling uncomfortable with the game that I think it becomes harassment.

Men feel they have a right to “…get that girl with a cat-call” just as they believe they have a right to “own” public spaces; both are symptoms of a culture of entitlement. Interviewee 1 pointed out how the culture of silence has a negative effect on men in a group. In this “perverse support system,” any man who goes against the “guy code” is considered an outsider:

We know that humans act differently while they’re in groups. Groups of men seem to reinforce “masculine” attitudes toward women, and cheer each other on while one is behaving inappropriately toward a woman or group of women. This perverse support system exacerbates the problem of harassment … I wish more men would step up and say “hey, that’s not cool, let’s go” instead of standing on the sidelines.

Both of these women agree that something must be done to change a culture where entitlement and silence create unsafe spaces for women everywhere. We must empower male allies to take action against harassment and not be relegated to the sidelines. Since none of the behaviors associated with hypermasculinity are biological, there is much we can do to change the education of men and boys and put an end to the attitudes that create street harassment. I will address some of the ways in which local communities and governments can work to accomplish this in a future post.

Sean has written for Stop Street Harassment since April 2011.  He is a library/research assistant at a labor union in Washington, D.C. and holds a Bachelor’s degree in economics from American University.

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Street Respect: “A benign discussion”

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This is part of the series “Street Respect. “Street respect” is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.” Share your street respect story and show the kind of interactions you’d like to have in public in place of street harassment.

My friend and I, both in our late 50s/early 60s were hiking at Stone Mountain Georgia. I was wearing my “Stop the War on Women” button (and thanks to Georgia Dems for that).

A gentleman of our age group noticed it as he hiked near us, and asked if he could talk with us. With a small amount of trepidation (not fear) we agreed. He was curious about what the button meant, and we had a fairly free-ranging and cordial conversation.

One place that we differed sharply was that he felt that girls needed to be made more aware of the dangers they face. I countered that we are made aware ALL OUR LIVES, and that I felt boys needed to be made aware of their responsibilities in these matters.

We didn’t agree on everything, but it was a respectful and benign discussion.

If I’d been hiking alone, I’d probably not have entered into conversation *sigh*

– Laura Grace

Location: Stone Mountain Park, Georgia

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Canada: It’s My Street and I’ll Laugh If I Want to

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By Terris Schneider, SSH Correspondent

Sunday is my designated ladies day. A few friends and I go to meditate at Semperviva Yoga in the evening, and then watch an episode of Girls after. I look forward to my Girls Sunday (double entendre) every week. However, during my most recent Sunday, some guy decided he was going to try and shit all over my friend’s and my night with some good ol’ aggressive and creepy behaviour.

My friend Katy and I were walking back down my street after we went for a Starbucks run. Katy and I love to indulge in playfully narcissistic conversation and started to laugh about how we would both consider our personality types to be “mellow neurotic.” As we erupted with laughter, this guy stepped in our way. He had this look on his face, one as Katy described later as “one a psychopath would have.”

He didn’t say a single world, he didn’t have to – his body language spoke for itself. He was putting out this dominating vibe that was beyond intimidating. Katy and I were so scared as we walked by him, we felt as though we were about to get attacked or stabbed at any moment. Walking by him for those few seconds were some of the most terrifying of my life.

As we continued to walk, Katy and I sped up. We were unsure whether he was following us, but I had a safety plan in mind (which I found out later Katy had the exact same idea, too). The plan was as follows: if he was stalking us, we’d run into the first public place we could find, which was a JJ Bean across the street. I was too scared to look behind me right away, and then ended up sneaking a glance as we got to the streetlight. He hadn’t been following us, thank god, but we were frightened. We made it back to my apartment, safe and sound, but with our evening having been nearly ruined.

Well, the guy got what he wanted. He had the ability to silence two happy young women who were just having a good time by scaring them half to death with his aggression. Being a woman and having the terrible reflex of automatically taking responsibility for things, I thought about if we did anything wrong. Honestly, all we did was laugh. Maybe we were too loud which could be irritating to some, but really, does that warrant being threatened by another person? Short answer of a potentially even longer rant: Nope!

I wish I could tell off that creepy guy and let him know that he almost sabotaged our night, but we still carried on and went to meditation despite being afraid. We then had some great laughs while watching our favourite show, and Katy even walked home alone on the same street where he harassed us without me having to drive her home.

And know this: we will continue to laugh and annoy the hell out of whoever we walk by because it’s our street too.

Terris is a professional wordsmith (freelance writer) based in Vancouver, BC, Canada. You can read more of her work on her blog, or follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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Colombia: Harassment and Armed Conflict

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By: Adriana Pérez-Rodríguez, SSH Correspondent

Not long ago society started recognising that street harassment is a type of violence against women and everyday more people joined the fight against such cultural notions of how women should be treated.

Nevertheless, certain socio-political contexts can exacerbate gender violence, becoming a continuum in their day to day lives and going unregistered, drawing a misleading picture of how it, apparently, doesn’t occur.  This is the case in Colombia with the internal armed conflict that has torn its society year after year.

For years in my country, certain people, such as one of the leading feminists, Florence Thomas, have made public how war and subsequent peace need to be evaluated under a gender perspective, since the experience women and girls endure has certain particularities steaming from the understanding of their gender roles. One dynamic that occurs during the context of war is that dangerous gender roles are exacerbated: masculinities are encouraged to be dominant, violent and possessive while women are not recognised as subjects and their sexualities are understood to be accessed and dominated, which only results in systematic rights violations (Fiscó, 2005).

Something, however, ironic that happens in Colombia is that in the so-called “consolidation zones”, territories where the government is supposed to make presence through the military together with big multinationals exploiting natural resources, is that the situation of women has in fact deteriorated.  An amalgamation of exacerbated and dangerous gender roles, military corruption and impunity, the rise of different paramilitary groups and their association with several multinationals have left women in an incredibly vulnerable position. Sexual and gender violence is the expected result: sexual slavery, rape and harassment become a continuum in their lives from as early as 12 years old and by every participating party.

A common practice that affects women and girls disproportionately is the imposition of curfews and behavioural and dressing codes, intervening in every sphere of people’s lifestyle and, more precisely, women’s sexualities. In such cases, women are put in an incredibly vulnerable position as their sexualities are under constant scrutiny, and those accused of provoking men, being sex workers or having extramarital relations, are severely punished with intimidation, rape, torture and murder (Info).

These women and girls don’t need to go out to the streets to feel unsafe, they live in fear in their hometowns as they know conflict actors can commit such crimes with full impunity: they can entered their home in the middle of the night and rape them in front of their relatives and they can commit massacres, rape and murder of young girls in front of everyone in town. Meanwhile, the military is suspected of preventing relief NGOs like Red Cross from entering towns. (Info)

These, nonetheless, are stories that go unregistered and that no one seems to know about or don’t want to know about. Women are too afraid of speaking up against it and the collective imaginary, from government officials to common citizens, is that if it doesn’t go registered, it simply doesn’t happen. Yet, covering our eyes to the situation won’t make it stop and for as long as war exists and perpetuates such dangerous notions of being a woman and a man and for as long as no one in the country pays attention to and responds for these crimes, women will always be disproportionately affected by having their bodies and sexualities appropriated in harrowing ways.

These stories live in the collective memory of women whose bodies and sexualities have been marked by armed actors who commit hem, by the government who permits them and by society in general who disregard them, and though there is no easy and single way out of this, change can start by everyone acknowledging and giving more visibility to this reality. Realising that sexual harassment and abuse don’t just occur in the streets of New York, London or Vancouver, but also in towns of conflict areas and with new proportions.

Adriana is a Colombian national who’s passionate about all topics concerning social justice, especially gender-based justice.

en Español

No hace mucho la sociedad empezó a reconocer el acoso sexual callejero como un tipo de violencia en contra de las mujeres y cada día que pasa más personas toman consciencia y luchan contra estas nociones culturales sobre cómo ellas deben ser tratadas. Sin embargo, ciertos contextos sociopolíticos pueden exacerbarla, volviéndose un continuo en su vida diaria, caracterizándose por el subregistro y creando una idea de cómo esta, aparentemente, no ocurre. Ese es el caso colombiano con el conflicto armado que ha desgarrado su sociedad año tras año.

Por años en mi país, ciertas personas, como una de las principales lideresas feministas, Florence Thomas, han argumentado que la guerra y la subsecuente paz deben ser analizadas con unas perspectiva de género, debido a que la experiencia de las mujeres y niñas en el conflicto armado se caracteriza por ciertas particularidades provenientes del entendimiento sobre su sexo y roles de género. Una dinámica que ocurre durante el contexto de guerra es que roles de género muy peligrosos son exacerbados: las masculinidades son alentadas a dominantes, violentas y posesivas, mientras que las mujeres no son reconocidas como sujetos y sus sexualidades son consideradas para ser accedidas y dominadas, resultando en una violación sistemática de sus derechos (Fiscó, 2005).

Algo, sin embargo, irónico que pasa en Colombia es que en las llamadas “zonas de consolidación”, territorios en los que el gobierno supuestamente tiene que hacer presencia por medio del aparato militar junto con grandes multinacionales que vienen a explotar los recursos naturales, es que la situación de las mujeres se ha agravado. Una fusión entre esta exacerbación de roles de género peligrosos, la corrupción e impunidad en el aparato militar, el ascenso de diferentes grupos paramilitares y sus alianzas con diferentes multinacionales han dejado a las mujeres en una posición de increíble vulnerabilidad. La violencia sexual y de género es el resultado: esclavitud sexual, violaciones y acosos se vuelven un continuo en la vida de mujeres y niñas desde fácilmente los 12 años, ejercidos por todos los bandos participantes en el conflicto.

Una práctica común que afecta desproporcionadamente a las mujeres y niñas bajo este contexto es la imposición de toques de queda y normas sobre la conducta y vestimenta, interviniendo en las esferas más privadas de las personas y, especialmente, en las sexualidades femeninas. Esos casos dejan a las mujeres en una posición de gran vulnerabilidad debido a que sus sexualidades están bajo constante vigilancia y aquellas acusadas de provocar a los hombres, ser trabajadoras sexuales o tener relaciones extramaritales son severamente castigadas con intimidaciones, violaciones, torturas y asesinatos (http://www.cidh.org/countryrep/colombiamujeres06sp/III.htm).

Estas mujeres y niñas no necesitan salir a la calle para sentirse inseguras, ellas viven con miedo por el simple hecho de vivir en sus pueblos, donde actores armados pueden cometer estos crímenes con impunidad total: ellos pueden entrar a sus casas en la mitad de la noche para violarlas en frente de sus familiares y pueden cometer masacres, violar y asesinar a jovencitas en frente de toda la gente del pueblo, mientras que sospechan que el ejército previene la entrada de ONGs, como la Cruz Roja (http://www.unfpa.org/derechos/documents/relator_violencia_colombia_02_000.pdf p.13-14).

Estas, no obstante, son historias que no se registran y que nadie parece o le importa saber. Las mujeres tienen mucho miedo de denunciarlas y el imaginario colectivo, desde oficiales del gobierno hasta ciudadanos comunes y corrientes, es que si no se registran, no existen. Empero, cubriendo nuestros ojos para evitar ver esta situación no hará que desaparezca, mientras exista la guerra y perpetúe nociones tan peligrosas sobre cómo ser hombre y mujer y mientras nadie en el país le ponga atención a y responda por estos crímenes, las mujeres siempre serán afectadas desproporcionadamente teniendo sus cuerpos y sexualidades apropiados de maneras tan desgarradoras.

Estas historias viven en la memoria colectiva de todas las mujeres y niñas que han tenido sus cuerpos y sexualidades marcadas por actores armados que las cometen, por el gobierno que las permite y por la sociedad en general que las ignora y, aunque no hay salida única y fácil para esta situación, el cambio puede empezar por todos nosotros, reconociéndolas y dándoles visibilidad. Dándonos cuenta que el acoso y abuso sexual no pasa únicamente en las calles de Nueva York, Vancouver y Londres, sino también en pueblos sumergidos en zonas de conflicto con magnitudes más desgarradoras.

Soy una colombiana apasionada por todos asuntos relacionados con la justicia social, especialmente justicia de género.

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