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“I can’t even live my life…all because I am a girl”

December 24, 2012 By Contributor

Each day I learn increasingly how dangerous it is to be a female on this planet.

I only recently returned, just before 2am, from the most terrifying experience of my life. On my commute home, I ended up at a relatively desolate subway station. A guy apparently took interest in me and started (literally) doing ninja kicks by my head as I sat, petrified, on a bench wondering what the fuck was going on. I moved away and he pursued, following me wherever I walked in the station.

I sought solace by the only other people there at that moment, only to again be regarded as a piece of meat and catcalled by the two shitfaces. The psycho guy was oblivious to my intentions of ignoring him, my dirty looks, hanging around the emergency call button and wearing headphones. I was so tempted to push that button, but I was afraid he’d beat me to a bloody pulp in the time it took the cops to get that far underground to the station.

I knew he would follow me onto my train and my prediction was correct, as he boarded the same car as me and made sure to stand a few feet away from me. I swung my umbrella around and clenched my pepperspray in my coat pocket. It was collectively the most horrifying 20 minutes of my life. He pretty much chased me out of the station and I almost passed out due to running and having a simultaneous panic attack.

Hollywood Boulevard was almost empty, but I saw a mall security guard (as I’d hoped to) and ran to him, relaying my story. The psycho followed me into the open air mall, only to continue walking up the steps when he saw me with security. I was literally shaking and out of breath. Another guard was called to escort me to my street, which is right behind the mall. He couldn’t believe what had happened. We approached the exit of the mall, which joins up with a parking garage for the hotel and also my street. Who was walking down the driveway from the parking garage? The psycho!

I bolted back towards the mall until the guard received a call that the guy had left the area. The guard then walked me to my street and I said I was okay to get to my apartment, which was a few buildings down and waved to him when I was outside my door. I am so grateful to them for helping me and as sad as it is, I know it could have been much, much worse, as it is for so many people in this scenario.

I don’t think it’s stretching beyond the imagination to say that guy would have attacked and raped me, then killed me, had we been alone. It’s like I can’t even live my life with these people around, all because I am a girl.

– Ela

Location: Wilshire & Vermont, Los Angeles, CA

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Scotland: Reaching out to Policy Makers

December 21, 2012 By Contributor

Hollaback Edinburgh has been running for just over three months, and we’ve been lucky to have a motion supported in the Scottish Parliament and to have met with Edinburgh city councillors to talk about what we do.I wanted to share with you how we did this, and some of the things that have helped us on the way. A massive caveat; Scotland, and Edinburgh, are open representative democracies so some of these points might not apply to where you are, and the environment you’re working in.

In Scotland, we’re lucky enough to have a fairly good political approach to violence against women. It’s not perfect, but it is pretty good for activists like us. We do, absolutely, have that in our favour, and having a relatively supportive political environment where inequality isn’t a dirty word means we already have one foot in the lobbying door. That’s not to say that folk have been throwing parties for us, or that there aren’t plenty of people who think we’re the PC police, but we’re not doing too badly.

But a big part of what we’ve been doing is reaching out. If you’re also in a representative democracy, they work for you. It’s really helpful if you’re able to identify a politician who might help out- publically available voting records or committee memberships give you a good idea of who might be an ally.

We sent out a happy HOLLAdays email to all representatives for Edinburgh, 85 in total-if my cut and paste skills are up to scratch- which resulted in us getting a private tour of the city chambers, a potential funding opportunity and a good old chat. If you get nowhere with a generic “hiya” email, go see your representative, tell them about street harassment in your community and get them to do something about it. Ask other people to do the same, one visit or letter might not do anything, but a whole bunch should do. Record who has been supportive and keep them in the loop with what you’re up too.

Although Scotland is fairly progressive in terms of gender equality most of the time, it doesn’t mean that working out the ins and outs of bureaucracy is any easier, so this is where building networks comes in.

Find and talk to women’s, LGBT, and other equality groups and organisations where people lobby for a living- they will know how councils and parliaments work, and might be able to help you navigate your way through 2003 websites and dodgy search engines. Figure out exactly what you want from politicians- do you want them to support public advertising, do you want funding from them, do you want to be involved in community safety meetings (or equivalent)? Or would you like to use their rooms for meetings?

But most of all, be confident in reaching out to them. Your representatives are just that- you put them there, and they do work for you. At the start of next year, we’re going to be working out what exactly we want them to help us with, but so far the simple act of just saying hello has begun to open some very exciting doors.

Ellie Hutchinson is the co-ordinator of Hollaback Edinburgh, which launched in September 2012, and is the first of it’s kind in Scotland. In her day job Ellie works for a national violence against women charity. 

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Filed Under: correspondents, Resources, street harassment Tagged With: advice, edinburgh, street harassment

Facebook, Afghanistan, and the Long Road to End Misogyny

December 19, 2012 By Contributor

Cross-posted with permission from A Safer World for Women.

By Noorjahan Akbar

Facebook is the one of new avenues for activism in Afghanistan. Youth groups have created pages that have hundreds, if not thousands, of followers, and events are created to encourage youth to participate in concerts, film-screenings, food drives, etc. and despite the fact that most women in Afghanistan do not have access to internet or are prohibited from using Facebook, women and girls have a noticeable presence on Facebook. Pro-women’s rights posters, articles and news go viral among Afghans on Facebook, leaving one with the misconception that Afghans who are on Facebook all less likely to disrespect or harass women or use misogynistic language. However a deeper look at the conversations about women and girls will show that being literate and having a Facebook account does not necessarily make one open-minded or non-sexist.

Perhaps the most extreme forms of these misogynist comments can be found on the fan pages for female singers, actresses and politicians. The sentiments of hatred, the threats, comment on what the “right” place for women is, and the shaming and name-calling expressed by many of the Afghan men and women are similar sentiments as those of Taliban leaders regarding women’s presence in politics, media and in the music and film industry specifically. What is perhaps more shocking is that many of the commentators actually seem to believe that women in the music and film industry are prostitutes. Young men write their phone numbers and Email addresses with a suggestion of being interested in “spending the night” with young female professionals, questions about nightly rates, and comments about whether they prostitute in Afghanistan or not are not rare. The fact that these youth consider themselves to be pious Muslims and post photos promoting Islam on their own Facebook pages highlight the deep contradictions that exists in the Afghan society. The same contradictions exist outside Facebook. A young man walking or driving to the mosque might harass a young girl going to the university or ask her if she will go with him, suggesting that she is a prostitute for walking down the street.

In addition to the defamation and harassment of female actresses and singers, another noticeable example of misogyny on Facebook is victim blaming. From women’s clothing and make-up to their bodies and their style of walking, all are criticized and blamed in discussions regarding rape, gender-based violence and street harassment.

“We have to find the roots of violence against women. For example, if women would continue obeying their husbands like the past, they would not face violence.”A 23 year old student at Kabul University commented on the picture of a group of women protesting violence against women.

Another young man wrote, “All of you (protestors) need to learn to dress like an Afghan woman before protesting. Your clothing is enough to make men want to rape and insult women.”

In discussions about street harassment, lack of outlets for relieving men’s sexual frustration is another common “reasoning” used to excuse harassment. An educated poet recently wrote a lengthy note on his Facebook page about how women who are molested on streets should understand that it happens because men are sexually deprived and shouldn’t take groping “too seriously.” As it is characteristic of misogyny, no questions are asked about women’s sexual frustrations and whether women would have be equally right if they assault boys and men to relief themselves. At the end of the day, women are once again blamed for not fulfilling men’s sexual “needs” and hence “proven as deserving” of public groping by strangers.

In addition to the rampant misogyny vibrant on Facebook among Afghan youth, there are many men and women who have mobilized social media to promote gender equality and fight sexual discriminations. Often young men and women will speak up in defense of women’s rights on social media in a way that maybe outside the virtual world would prove too dangerous for them. This has led to lengthy debates among youth in Afghanistan and the creation of a safe space for discussion. With more than 1,520,996 Afghans having access to the internet inside the country and mobile phones becoming equipped with 3G around the country, social media and blogging has the potential to become a platform for open debate and change and that process has started already.  However, the fact that the same misogynistic excuses are used to justify rape, harassment, violence and abuse of women by many educated youth who have access to the internet and know English as by those Afghans who might be illiterate, is testimony to the long road women’s rights activists have ahead to combat the problems that women face in the country.

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“Should I make a big deal out this? “

December 18, 2012 By Contributor

I was on the subway for only two stops, so I didn’t have my music plugged in, or a book in hand to ignore any street harassment that might come my way. I looked across from me and I saw a man, maybe in his 30’s, looking at a girl in her late teens early 20’s whose back was facing me, stroking his penis through his basketball shorts.

I was stunned. I looked at him in disgust, I looked between the both of them with obvious head turns, but his eyes were locked on her. I was scared for her, and I was scared that it would escalate into something much more graphic.

So there I was. Watching a man touch himself watching an unknowing girl. My heart starting pounding as I weighed my possible options. I was the only one who had noticed, it’s not drastic enough to press the alarm, does this girl really need to know that this is happening? Should I make a big deal out this? Should I wait to see if this gets worse? If they get off at the same station, should I get off to tell her?

In the midst of my contemplations, the train stopped, the man got off and the girl stayed on. My heart stopped racing, and I was no longer frightened for this girl. But I was had some guilt. That was street harassment and I feel like I should’ve done something. Because what if this man does something worse and there is no one to stand in alliance with the victim?

– Nisha

Location: Union Station, Toronto, Canada

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“I’m stared at, followed, or made to feel uncomfortable”

December 17, 2012 By Contributor

Because there just isn’t enough creepiness on the London public transport system already, this week the Evening Standard’s Rosamund Urwin helpfully wrote a guide to ‘love on the lines.‘

Having written brilliantly about street harassment in the past, I’m really disappointed that Urwin doesn’t see why yet another attempt at making people think of the London underground as a legitimate chat-up environment is a problem. Pretty much every time I take the tube, I’m stared at, followed, or made to feel uncomfortable by men who feel their behaviour is appropriate; we really don’t need any further incentives to it.

– Jen

Location: London, UK

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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