Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Update on grocery store harassment in Largo, MD

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Personal Update on my previous blog entry

I submitted a horrific street harassment incident that occurred with me several months ago on this blog. I was harassed by an off duty plainclothes officer in a grocery store located Largo, MD, who pulled a firearm on me and my brother unannouced when my brother questioned questioned his hostility towards me.

This officer works for the DC Forensics Scienced department in Washington, D.C. and his name is Tirik Davis , badge #3296. I would have liked to pursue taking legal action against the DC police department for allowing this individual to not face repercussions for his actions but the statute of limitation has ran out for that option.

I am now looking into suing Tirik Davis for intentional infliction of emotional distress because my whole lifestyle has changed since he threatened my life by pulling a firearm on me. I believe this was done on purpose to make me think that we were going to be injured. That is a crime and I don’t know how sucessful I will be in suing him but I am going to go through all the procedures that are available to me.

And to think that the DC police department would sweep an incident like this under the rug when we could have been seriously injured is beyond me. They did not blink an eye or see any error in a male who took an oath as a police officer to come into a store (when he’s not working) , harass a woman he doesn’t know and then follow up by pulling a gun on her and her 16-year old brother? And then tell some story anout he HE felt threatened?

No woman or person should enter a store to grocery shop and then exit by running for their life believing that thay are going to be murdered. It should never happen.

– Anonymous

Location: Largo, MD

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“What hurts me the most is when I see teen girls having to deal with it”

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I am a Peace Corps volunteer in Morocco. Being American I honestly had never received harassment as a woman until I came to Morocco. The harassment is the worst in the small towns. In bigger cities where people are more educated and have things to do the harassment isn’t quite so bad. But daily in my own town men on street corners stare as me as I walk by, try to rouse me with, “Hello, how are you” in several languages, or say things in Arabic that I am told I am lucky not to understand.

My best technique is to ignore it, but it doesn’t mean I don’t hear it. Sometimes I listen to my head phones when I walk so I can block out all the comments entirely. In such a conservative and religious country men are treating women like they are nothing more than sexual objects. I know how lucky I am that I only have to deal with this a few more months. What hurts me the most is when I see teen girls having to deal with it. Girls that will have to deal with this their entire life starting as such an innocent young age.

– A.R.C.

Location: many cities in Morocco

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“What if he touches me?”

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Just for a change to my normal workwear (and, in part, because my favourite work trousers are in the wash), I left this house this morning wearing a dress. Nothing outrageous, just a red and black print jersey long-sleeved shift dress that comes to just above the knee, with thick black tights and burgundy mary janes.

First step out of my door and someone leers at me. I ignore it – they’re only looking. At least they didn’t whistle or make that horrible kissy noise.

I get to the crossing at the end of the street. A man comes to stand beside me, and falls into step as I cross the road. “This is a new look for you, innit?” he says, conversationally. I glance at him. He’s a tall black guy with a shaved head and several gold teeth, probably in his 40s. He looks vaguely familiar, someone I see around the neighbourhood to nod to but as far as I know we’ve never spoken.

“I like it,” he continues, “You look nice.” I mumble a non-committal “Thanks” and keep walking.

He’s still alongside me. I’m feeling a bit on my guard now. Very rapidly I run over scenarios in my mind. It’s 8.30 a.m. and I’ve not slept well. My reflexes may not be at their best, and I’m in heels so probably couldn’t run. What if he touches me? There’s plenty of people around. Will anyone intervene if he doesn’t leave me alone? Maybe not.

He carries on. “You used to always wear a lot of black. I like this better. I fancy you now. You look really nice.”

I cringe inwardly, and I’m glad that I’m across the road and can reasonably make the excuse that I have to run for my train to get away from him. I wonder if he has any idea how creepy that sounded. Has he been watching me? How often? Does he know where I live? Maybe I should start carrying an attack alarm again, and double-lock the door at night.

By the time I get onto the train I’m furious. How DARE he pass judgement on my appearance like that? How DARE he make me feel unsafe walking down my own street?

I’m still fuming.

– Karen

Location: SW2 3BU, London

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Harasser uses sexually violent language in front of cop, cop laughs.

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Last Thursday evening around 5:30 pm, I was involved in a fender bender. Once the policeman arrived on the scene, he asked me and the male I accidentally hit move our cars from the busy intersection to the gas station about 30 feet from the scene.

As I am pulling into the gas station parking lot, I see a truck full of four redneck men eyeing me. While I felt extremely uncomfortable with their stares, I believed they wouldn’t say anything outright because a policeman was on the scene.

However, this is not what happened. As I am walking over to the police car to deliver him my license, registration and insurance card the truck full of misogynists drive about ten feet in front of me and the cop and start to yell at me, while making jacking off hand gestures to me. As they are driving off one yells, “HEY BABY I WANT YOU TO CHOKE ON MY DICK!”

And see, I am actually getting my Masters in Women’s Studies at a local Women’s College, so you would think I would have known what to say to the truck of shit heads, but I was so embarrassed and shocked that I didn’t know what to do.

I looked at the cop and said, “Aren’t you going to do anything??!” and he just laughed and said he had to fill out too much paper work because of the wreak. HE JUST LAUGHED AND DID NOTHING.

I was in shock.

Everyone in the gas station lot was looking at me. I was no longer looked at as a human, but as an object. Because of my vagina, I deserved to be degraded.

The only thing that even mildly helped is that the male I hit said, “Please forgive my gender. We are a bunch of dumbasses.”

I am catcalled at least twice a week in Roanoke, VA, and no one does anything about it. I ask the animals to stop and it just makes them take it further. I’ve even had firemen at the local fire department catcall me.

I’m angry and upset because the Cop, who stands for what is just and whose job is to protect others, did nothing. Even worse, he laughed like it was no idea. Men have no concept of what it is like to be objectified by males. I literally black-out and have to “reboot” when I’m catcalled.

Does that make sense?

I feel hunted and no one does anything to defend me. It baffles me to know that men can objectify women in broad fucking daylight, in front of a police officer and nothing is done.

I’m at a loss for words.

– Logan Lambert

Location: Roanoke, VA

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Fake wedding ring as tactic to deter hararassers

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I’m a Black female living in Oakland’s Lake Merritt area. Having a Caucasian boyfriend makes my walks and bikes with him very uncomfortable at times. For example, this evening we were half a block from biking into our home’s entryway. I was about 10 meters in front of him and I could see these two guys were checking me out with those stupid little smirks some of them give, urg! I end up stopping at my entryway just as I pass the two of them and my bf immediately stops behind me. I didn’t realize but as we walk in I’m told they said, “Why would she be with someone like him?” Urggg!!

First of all this is annoying as hell because I go through it all the time being in an interracial relationship. Funny that I don’t hear about Black guys getting harassed for dating White women these days.

Back on track – secondly this was annoying because these two guys were dirty, I mean they look like they were normal guys (meaning not crazy like many around my home) but damn were they unattractive and flat out raggedy looking!! For real?! My bf is a handsome and super successful guys and you’re telling me that because he’s White I’m better off being with someone like you?! Think before you open your mouth to make a stupid comment like that dumb ass! The same goes for the one, two other guys that holla’d at me earlier in the day.

Why do you idiots think we women want to hear your comments? The funny thing is they often aren’t even talking directly to us, but rather they decide to think aloud. Why?! Why do you think I want to hear what you’re perverted mind thinking about me? Granted, I understand some girls do respond to these actions, we’ve all seen it. Unfortunately, they are the ones who allow these ignorant men to believe it’s okay to act this way. These men are like bad children who are resistant to understanding how to treat women with respect.

I don’t think I can possibly express the fullest extent of my frustrations, it’s that deep. The absolute worst thing is when these men are so rude as to disregard the fact that my bf is with me and they speak their minds as if to taunt him. F*@!in’ rude ass pigs!

Let me tell you what this has brought me to: I’ve purchased a fake wedding band and engagement ring. When I actually feel like wearing them it feels amazing to simply flash them and wha-la, it’s like some kind of magic wand, no more lingering, creepy eyes. In college I got so overwhelmed one semester that I decided to commit a whole semester to wearing sweat clothes (because I couldn’t walk around with a bag on my head) in order to repel them. Guess what? It totally worked! I remember being ecstatic when I would walk by a group of guys and only hear silence. Aaaah, music to my ears! The next semester I decided to perk myself up. While out one night a guy even referred to me as the “sweats girl”. He said he’d thought I was cute but couldn’t understand why I always dressed so…humbly! I thought it was hilarious.

I’m rambling but have lots of stories that make me hate these men with a passion! They seriously disgust me and I wish I had a good one-liner for them without getting called a bitch or something else in return. What can I say to stop them in their tracks once I spot those sickening grimaces? I swear, sometimes I just feel like yelling and screaming at them like a banchie. I imagine myself flailing my arms and chasing them down like a crazy person, hahaha!

– Anonymous

Location: Lake Merritt area, Oakland, CA

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