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“I leaned away and shook my head but he didn’t stop”

October 16, 2016 By Contributor

I was about 15 years old, riding a bus at night with a female friend. It was before 9 p.m. at night in a Denver suburb. A man sat right next to me, against my body, and was touching my cheek. I leaned away and shook my head but he didn’t stop. I thought he had a knife in his other hand but I cant be sure. There were very few people on the bus. One man told him to leave me alone, and told the bus driver to do something. He didn’t stop and the driver didn’t do anything. Thankfully he didn’t get off the bus when we did. Maybe they told him not to.

– Anonymous

Location: Denver suburbs, Arapahoe County, Colorado

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: public transport

HABITAT 3: Women’s Assembly – Safe Cities Session

October 15, 2016 By HKearl

10-15-16-waiting-in-line-to-get-registered-for-habitat-3
Waiting in line to register for HABITAT 3, Quito, Ecuador

I recently started a new consultancy position with UN Women and as part of my job, I am in Quito, Ecuador, for HABITAT 3, the third United Nations Conference on Housing and Sustainable Urban Development. Tens of thousands of people from around the world are convening to discuss cities.

Today was the Women’s Assembly, “designed to celebrate the contributions to and leadership of the Women and Human Settlements’ movement in championing sustainable and women inclusive urban development.”

In the morning, we heard from various UN leaders and grassroots women about the importance of including women in all efforts. In the afternoon, we divided up into 10 sessions to focus on 10 topics (e.g. economic rights, leadership, and safety). In our groups, in addition to discussing our own experiences and ideas, we came up with recommendations for what needs to happen by member states to ensure women’s views and experiences and needs are included and acted upon.

Safe Cities for Women and Girls breakout session
Safe Cities for Women and Girls breakout session

I was the documenter for the Safe Cities for Women and Girls session. Our session coordinator was Kathryn Travers, Executive Director of Women in Cities International, and she shared this to set the stage:

“Safe cities and safe public spaces free of violence against women and girls are increasingly recognized as a priority issue for sustainable development. The fact that safe cities for women figures explicitly as a goal in the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs), a binding international commitment by Member States, strengthens its position as a key issue for implementation as part of the New Urban Agenda (NUA), a normative non-binding international framework.

SDG 5, on gender equality and empowerment of all women and girls specifically calls for ending violence against women and girls (VAWG) including in public spaces (sub-target 2). This language is mimicked in the NUA and goes on to include mentions of harassment more specifically in (para 13 c). SDG 11 calls on Member States to Make Cities and Human Settlements Inclusive, Safe, resilient and Sustainable, and sub-target 7 specifies “By 2030, provide universal access to safe, inclusive and accessible, green and public spaces, in particular for women and children, older persons and persons with disabilities”…

The NUA Para 100 calls on Member States to “support the provision of well-designed networks of safe, inclusive for all inhabitants, accessible, green, and quality public spaces and streets, free from crime and violence, including sexual harassment and gender-based violence (…) bringing people into the public spaces, promoting walkability and cycling towards improving health and well-being”. Finally, echoing the SDG 5.5, the NUA calls for the empowerment of women and others to participate in urban and territorial development and decision-making (para 155).”

In this context, these were our collective conclusions:

dsc04336We want member states to recognize safety as a right to the city and:

  1. Keep women at the center of efforts including by including women as leaders at all levels;
  2. Collect data at the national level through creative and new methods;
  3. Learn from new practices that are shared in a central place;
  4. Have multi-stake holder and multi-level efforts;
  5. Commit funding to these different initiatives so they can actually happen;
  6. Monitor and report back on efforts and hold governments (local, national) accountable

On our end, we made four commitments for what we’d be do to ensure these outcomes.

  1. We commit to making available the knowledge, tools, successful practices as part of comprehensive rights-based approaches, and key experts (both professional and grassroots women) to national, regional, state and local governments to implement safe cities for women and girls initiatives in cities. Support and capacity building for both grassroots leaders and government stakeholders will be offered as part of this commitment.
  2. Recognizing the special vulnerabilities that girls and young women face, we commit to support girls’ empowerment through processes including intergenerational dialogues to speak for themselves and transform their cities to be safer and more inclusive for all girls and women.
  3. We commit to innovating participatory action research tools, including technology, and approaches for gender transformative and inclusive safe cities for women and girls initiatives and making them available to cities worldwide
  4. We commit to implement safe cities initiatives that recognize women and girls as essential agents of change in a multi-stakeholder, multi-sectoral and multi-level partnership informed by existing global frameworks on safe cities free of violence against women and girls that can be adapted to city and country context.
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Filed Under: street harassment, UN events and efforts Tagged With: ecuador, habitat, Habitat 3, safe cities, UN women

“I was devastated by what this harasser did to me and by the way the witnesses reacted”

October 15, 2016 By HKearl

I was visiting Amsterdam for five days and catching up with some friends. I’m from Poland. My friend and I left a cafe after a nice evening spent together talking and laughing. She was taking a tram and I decide to walk as it was just a 20 minute walk from the place where I was staying. When we were saying goodbye, a man appeared around the corner. He followed me and mumbled something, was commenting on my gloves and kept on talking to me. I was seriously threaten as it was 10 p.m. and there were not many people on the street. He was like two steps behind my back stalking me so I told him to leave me alone and stop talking to me as I do not talk to strangers on the street.

Then he got aggressive and started yelling at me, “F**k you, f**k you. I’m not following you.” I asked a person that was witnessing all that to call the police which made him even more aggressive. I had to listen to all that because I was too scared to reply. There were four other men witnessing this and only one said, “Please leave the lady alone”. Two others were smiling. He kept on calling me names and spit on me. Then left. I was too threatened to make a move. The man who was the only one to speak out said that he could walk me to where I lived if I was afraid to walk alone. I made it safe to the apartment but I was devastated by what this harasser did to me and by the way the witnesses reacted.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

More campaigns raising awareness that street harassment exists and it should be condemned, girls and women are not things and you cannot do and say whatever you want

– Monika

Location: Amstredam, de Pijp, the Netherlands

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“How creepy it was that an 80 year old man had stopped a child”

October 14, 2016 By Contributor

I was 12. I was walking to church on my own since I lived only two blocks away. I was wearing my best church dress, a very modest but beautiful black dress, and I was excited to see all of my friends at church. When I was about to walk through the parking lot, an older man grabbed my arm and told me that I was beautiful and that he wished there were girls as beautiful as me back in his day. At the time I said thank you politely and walked away, but it took me a while to realize how creepy it was that an 80 year old man had stopped a child to say that he wished I could have lived in his time. I also realized that I could have been in danger if I had responded negatively because of the tight grip he held on my arm.

I am 17 now, and I have been cat called more in my life between the ages of 10-14 than I do now, which is terrifying.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Be assertive, look for people around you and call to them for help if needed.

– Anonymous

Location: Outside of my church

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for idea
s.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: adult male, girl, teenager

Michelle Obama’s Speech on Respecting Women!

October 13, 2016 By HKearl

Thank you for this important speech today, Michelle Obama!

“It is cruel. It’s frightening. And the truth is, it hurts. It hurts. It’s like that sick, sinking feeling you get when you’re walking down the street minding your own business and some guy yells out vulgar words about your body. Or when you see that guy at work that stands just a little too close, stares a little too long, and makes you feel uncomfortable in your own skin.
 
It’s that feeling of terror and violation that too many women have felt when someone has grabbed them, or forced himself on them and they’ve said no but he didn’t listen — something that we know happens on college campuses and countless other places every single day. It reminds us of stories we heard from our mothers and grandmothers about how, back in their day, the boss could say and do whatever he pleased to the women in the office, and even though they worked so hard, jumped over every hurdle to prove themselves, it was never enough.
 
We thought all of that was ancient history, didn’t we? And so many have worked for so many years to end this kind of violence and abuse and disrespect, but here we are in 2016 and we’re hearing these exact same things every day on the campaign trail. We are drowning in it. And all of us are doing what women have always done: We’re trying to keep our heads above water, just trying to get through it, trying to pretend like this doesn’t really bother us maybe because we think that admitting how much it hurts makes us as women look weak.”
 
Transcript
I’m also grateful to New York Times op-ed columnist Nicholas Kristoff for his op-ed on this topic today that includes a link to our 2014 study!
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Filed Under: News stories, street harassment Tagged With: Hillary Clinton campaign, Michelle Obama, respect women, sexual harassment

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SSH will not publish any comment that is offensive or hateful and does not add to a thoughtful discussion of street harassment. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, disabalism, classism, and sexism will not be tolerated. Disclaimer: SSH may use any stories submitted to the blog in future scholarly publications on street harassment.
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