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“It happens all the time, day and night”

May 2, 2016 By Contributor

I have been sexually harassed all my life but since I moved from a small village to a city (Stuttgart, Germany), it’s been getting worse. I am the girl-next-door-looking type. I never wear anything revealing.

I can hardly think of a day when I didn’t get any comments about my hair, my eyes, my ass, or whistles from a complete stranger. Some people even try to get really close to me, touch my arm or my hair until I tell them to knock it off and walk away. It only happens when I am alone or with a girl friend. I also had a stalker once who knocked on my window and my door several times and sent me a parcel with sex gadgets.

It makes me feel vulnerable. Like they own me and that they can say whatever they want.

It happens all the time, day and night, and I don’t know how to deal with it.

– CR

Location: Stuttgart, Germany

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: germany

End of April 2016 News

April 30, 2016 By HKearl

More recent news:

USA Today, “China introduces female-only bus service“

“A female-only bus service aimed at protecting women from sexual harassment launched this week in China, drawing praise and criticism.

The Zhengzhou 3rd bus company introduced the service on a popular route in the central city of Zhengzhou. It will run during busy commuting hours until early August.

“During the summer, women usually wear thinner clothes, making it easier for them to be harassed in crowded buses. … The all-female service will increase their convenience and safety,” said Kong Chaoping, the firm’s chairman, according to the Beijing Youth Daily newspaper.

The buses are recognizable by their big red signs that read, “Female-only.” They have stuffed animals and other kids’ toys suspended from the ceiling.

Sexual harassment is a common yet largely ignored problem on China’s public transportation system. More than 50% of women have experienced inappropriate touching or body contact while using the country’s trains and buses, a survey by the China Youth Daily newspaper found last year.

In 2014, the Women’s Federation of Guangzhou, a state-affiliated group, found that 85% of all sexual assaults in Guangzhou, a city in southern China, occurred while victims used the city’s public transportation network.”

Quartz, “Thousands of Mexican women are talking about sexual harassment for the first time“

“Rarely publicly acknowledged in Mexico, sexual harassment is being surfaced via Twitter hashtag #MiPrimerAcoso, or #MyFirstHarassment, by women posting their first experiences with male bullying and by others wanting to have an open discussion. Hundreds of thousands of posts have circulated in the last three days.

The drive, started by a Colombian columnist (link in Spanish) on Saturday, is reinforcing the issue after demonstrations Sunday (April 24) in Mexico City and other major cities attracted thousands of women. The Twitter record, a poignant collection of heartfelt confidences, will probably prove more powerful…

#MiPrimerAcoso reveals that many women first experienced harassment as girls, as young as five and six years old. The perpetrators of the abuse span a wide range, from relatives—older cousins and uncles are mentioned frequently—to policemen, to random strangers, and in one case, a therapist.”

Waging Nonviolence, “Mexican feminists declare a ‘violet spring’ on nationwide day of action“

“Tens of thousands of feminists protested across Mexico on Sunday, amid what they say is an epidemic of violence against women.

“We’re sick of suffering all kinds of abuse when we just walk in the street,” said Mari, a protester in the central Mexican city of Puebla, who was joined by hundreds of activists in Puebla’s city center, demanding justice for victims of femicide.

When the march reached the state government offices, activists accused local authorities of failing to bring perpetrators of violence to justice. One masked protester shouted, “The government here in Puebla lets them get away with impunity,” adding, “This isn’t just in Puebla, but all of Mexico.”

Declaring a “violet spring,” protesters called on women across Mexico to take a stand against sexism. One of the largest protests took place in Mexico City, where organizers railed against Mexico’s traditionally machista, or sexist, culture.

“It is evident that we need social re-education — to teach men not to harass, not violate, not hit, not threaten, not enslave, not abuse and not kill women and girls,” organizers said in a statement.”

The Verge, “India mandates panic button on all phones to help keep women safe“

“All mobile phones sold in India will be required to have a panic button as of next year, the country’s telecommunications ministry announced this week, as part of an effort to enhance safety for women. As Bloomberg reports, the order requires handset makers to implement an emergency feature that could be activated by holding down the numbers 5 or 9 on a keypad. The function will be mandatory on all phones by January 1st, 2017, while GPS navigation systems will be mandatory on all devices by 2018.

Women’s safety in India has drawn worldwide attention following reports of gang rapes and other forms of violence. There were more than 330,000 reported cases of violence against women in 2014, according to government statistics, up 9 percent from the previous year. The issue has spurred some companies to develop apps and services that make it easier for women to contact emergency services. India’s minister for women and child development, Maneka Gandhi, pushed for mandated panic buttons last year.”

‘Technology is solely meant to make human life better and what better than using it for the security of women,’ Communications Minister Ravi Shankar Prasad said in a statement.”

attn: “This Man’s Attempt to Take Upskirt Photos Just Backfired in an Extreme Way“

“A shocking piece of footage, in which a man eats his camera’s memory card after being caught allegedly filming upskirt videos, is gaining international attention.

According to the Chinese Publication People’s Daily, the video was filmed by a woman caught the alleged Peeping Tom in the act while riding the subway. The woman who shot the footage goes by the name Xiao Cha Cha A, Daily Mail reports. She posted the video on the Chinese social media service Weibo, with a caption reading, “I had tried to block his view a few times but he kept on taking them. I must expose him!”

In the video, the Xiao Cha Cha A is seen tugging at the man’s bag, and yelling, “delete the pictures, delete them. Look everybody, here is a pervert who takes upskirt pictures of women,” Daily Mail reports.

The man then eats his SD card. It is unclear if the woman forces him to do so, or if he eats the card voluntarily to destroy the evidence. In the final seconds of the 1:01-long video, the man can be seen fleeing the subway car.”

The Source, “[Los Angeles] Metro’s new anti-sexual harassment video“

“Metro launched its “Off Limits” campaign last spring in an effort to reduce sexual harassment on buses and trains. The campaign was a direct response to riders identifying this as an issue in Metro’s customer surveys.”

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: china, India, los angeles, mexico, phone app, public transit

USA: Harmful Oklahoma Court Ruling

April 29, 2016 By Correspondent

Rupande Mehta, New Jersey, USA SSH Blog Correspondent

It was a good and bad week for victims of sexual assault and rape. While former House Speaker Hastert was being sentenced to 15 months (yup, only 15 months after the judge declared him a “serial child molester”) for molesting young boys when he coached as a wrestler, the Oklahoma court shocked everyone with the declaration that state law does not criminalize oral sex with a victim who is completely unconscious.

Right, why didn’t we think of that? An unconscious person is completely capable of giving consent so why prosecute someone who took advantage of the VERY fact that the victim was unconscious and orally sodomized her?

I have to be brutally honest here: some days the fight to make folks understand what constitutes violation of a person’s body seems so hopeless. On days like these, I feel I am transported to the hell holes of Pakistan, India and other countries where rape and other forms of violence against women is a daily fact of life. My mind cannot accept the fact that a verdict of that magnitude was issued by a court in the United States. It seems like the work of moron village elders and other local leaders, who need five witnesses to prove a rape, not that of a judicial body in the United States.

I can’t even comprehend the idiocy of this court. And I don’t even know where to begin.

This is not the court’s fault…not ONLY their fault. This is a system-wide issue that takes pride in victim-blaming. Every day we hear about assault, rape and other forms of violence like street harassment, but the question that takes center stage is “what was she doing” instead of “why did he abuse”?

We as a society have culturally evolved to the point where violence is acceptable if we can shift the onus on the victim. We look for loopholes in her story – why was she there? Who did she go with? What was she wearing? Or as John Kasich famously said, don’t drink at parties so you don’t get raped. I can’t wait for his 16 –year-old twin girls to get to college and avoid parties because their father warned them they could get raped.

We live in a society that victim blames and no one is a better example of this than our judicial system. We let lawyers question victims about abuse in a manner that befits no living being in this world. We sit back and enjoy every tiny detail re-lived by the victim over and over again and then turn around and tell her that her story has holes in it because she cannot remember every single ghastliness that happened to her. We sit back and let lawyers badger victims, not considering their emotional abuse and high levels of trauma that prevent them from being consistent in their narration. We live in a society where it is acceptable to yell and scream at people who have been abused but not okay for someone to falter in their responses. We have made our society into a mockery of human values devoid of empathy, understanding and respect of one’s experiences; instead delving into painful details where even accurate chronicles result into justice failing them at the end of the day.

Our focus is on the victim and what they did or didn’t do right. Did you say no? Did you scream? Why not? If not, how can we believe you were being raped? Or in this Oklahoma case, you were passed out so you could not have said no. But what about her not saying yes either?

This level of victim blaming is nauseating. Besides a severe gap between ideas of rape and consent and appropriate laws, there is a lack of basic understanding of what consent is. And asinine rulings such as the Oklahoma case further propagate a society where such behavior becomes the norm.

We are all responsible for this hideous culture – a social order where women are constantly assessed on how well they defended themselves against harm, how deftly they handled a street harassment situation or whether they made a big deal of the assault at the time it was happening. As far as the abuser is concerned, we are waiting to give them a free pass or sympathize and excuse him the moment a woman cannot fill all holes in her story.

Consent is simple: Yes means yes and No means no. If a person is too drunk, they CANNOT give consent. Consequently, if they are passed out; the question of consent does not even arise. This is a very simple concept but many of us, including the learned individuals on the Oklahoma court, cannot grasp it. Whichever way we look at it, it is time to change the way the rules are written; ones which do not look to place the blame on the victim but on the one who committed the crime. It is time the law takes into account emotional abuse, trauma and, of course, the unequivocal definition of consent.

Rupande grew up in Mumbai, India, and now resides in the U.S. She has an MBA and is currently working towards her MPA, looking to specialize in Non Profit Management. You can find her writing on her blog at Rupande-mehta.tumblr.com or follow her on Twitter @rupandemehta.

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Filed Under: correspondents Tagged With: oklahoma victim blaming, rape, unconscious

“What could have been demoralizing turned out to be invigorating”

April 28, 2016 By Contributor

One morning I was late to work and had to park far away as all the other employees had taken the nearest spaces. As I exited my vehicle, I noticed two white boys across the street, reminiscent of Beavis and Butthead. I knew they were going to say something.

The first time he said something, I didn’t understand it, so I asked him to repeat it.

“I wanna lick your poop chute” and then he did that thing with his tongue that the truck driver in “Thelma & Louise” did.

His cartoonish companion chuckled and maneuvered in a slightly menacing way to demonstrate that he had his bro’s back.

I’m not sure what overcame me, but I feel like my subconscious picked up on several clues that prompted me to take bold action. I noticed the landscaping of 10lb stones covering the ground around their feet. I noticed the sudden lack of traffic on the one way street between us. And I noticed their likely cowardice in the face of unexpected retribution.

Without saying anything, I marched across the street. His demeanor changed to recoil as he meekly inquired, “What are you doing?” I picked a choice stone from the ground, turned and heaved it in his direction, shot put-style. In my mind I thought if I hit him with this large rock, he’s especially dull, so I almost did care if I had, but he dodged it at the last second and took off running up the street yelling, “YOU’RE CRAZY!!”

I responded with, “Come back you coward! Come back and say something else to me!” But he was off to the races. It was funny how quickly he ran.

As I turned around, quite satisfied, to head back to work, I passed his male companion and hawked a loogie in his direction. Contorting his back, he dodged it. By the time I made it to my street a block away, Beavis was STILL running, nearly half a mile away.

This was risky in a lot of ways, I know. But my intuition led me in the right direction. It all happened so quickly and I left feeling quite powerful. Had I not responded in that way, I would have been bothered by it for the rest of the day. To my surprise, my coworkers were quite insightful about how I was bullied and how Beavis and Butthead were trying to intimidate me. Normally people don’t approve of women taking the offensive. What could have been demoralizing turned out to be invigorating.

– Sara F.

Location: Denver, CO

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea
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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: empowering response, fighting back

“I think that man is recording me with his cellphone”

April 27, 2016 By Contributor

So… I went to the clinic with my mom. We entered a tunnel and we saw a man running behind us. He passed us and turned his head to look at us… He got to the clinic first and just stood there until we got there and he saw us enter and so he did as well.

He sat in front of us. The man had a cellphone and its camera was pointing at my face. I noticed and didn’t say anything because i thought i was being paranoid. so i started to read, not paying attention to him, but time passed and the camera was still pointing at me. i told my mom i will switch seats without giving any reason, so I did and then  I was next to him so he couldn’t record me.

Suddenly he starts “receiving” calls and he places his cellphone in the left ear and his camera (surprisingly) is pointing at me again. So, my mom sits with me and I tell her, “I think that man is recording me with his cellphone.”

She changes her face totally, then looks at the man (in his 40s or 50s) and pulls out her cellphone. She starts recording and tries to point the camera at him. She tries to record him but i notice she’s nervous and we got called by the doctor exactly at the moment her camera was pointed at him. So he noticed.

We had our consult and when we got out the man wasn’t there anymore. I was shaking. We kept searching in the street for any suspicious man, but we didn’t see any. We got on the bus and i just stared at every man but we didn’t see anything weird.

I was shocked, when I got home and I started crying. I couldn’t stop crying and my mom talked to me. My dad said, “It was just a creep, don’t worry honey” and my brother hugged me.

I just can’t stop thinking about it, about what the hell was that man thinking. The whole situation is just so frightening, it was disturbing.

– C

Location: Mexico

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea
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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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