• About Us
    • What Is Street Harassment?
    • Why Stopping Street Harassment Matters
    • Meet the Team
      • Board of Directors
      • Past Board Members
    • In The Media
  • Our Work
    • National Street Harassment Hotline
    • International Anti-Street Harassment Week
    • Blog Correspondents
      • Past SSH Correspondents
    • Safe Public Spaces Mentoring Program
    • Publications
    • National Studies
    • Campaigns against Companies
    • Washington, D.C. Activism
  • Our Books
  • Donate
  • Store

Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Home
  • Blog
    • Harassment Stories
    • Blog Correspondents
    • Street Respect Stories
  • Help & Advice
    • National Street Harassment Hotline
    • Dealing With Harassers
      • Assertive Responses
      • Reporting Harassers
      • Bystander Responses
      • Creative Responses
    • What to Do Before or After Harassment
    • Street Harassment and the Law
  • Resources
    • Definitions
    • Statistics
    • Articles & Books
    • Anti-Harassment Groups & Campaigns
    • Male Allies
      • Educating Boys & Men
      • How to Talk to Women
      • Bystander Tips
    • Video Clips
    • Images & Flyers
  • Take Community Action
  • Contact

“I didn’t even realize how much this was affecting me”

July 19, 2015 By Contributor

I park at the same parking deck every weekday since it’s pretty well priced. Every day for about 2 weeks when I left the lot, I saw the same guy. The first time he talked to me, he said something like “Long day?” I smiled and said yeah and nodded.

From there he started saying he wanted to see me smile and staring at me every day. He’d stare the entire time I paid for my ticket and it was starting to make me really uneasy. I thought it would stop since he didn’t say anything about it one day, but it picked right up the next day. I was starting to get anxious and stressed, and ended up panicking and driving away while he was in the middle of saying something.

I decided to directly tell him to leave me alone the next day. I was nervous, but resolved to do it. While I was paying for my ticket that day, he walked up and just kinda looked at me. He didn’t say anything, and I considered just driving away, but I wanted to speak up.

Calmly, I asked him to stop telling me to smile and said it was really making me uncomfortable. He quickly said okay and nodded, acting like he didn’t want to listen to anything else I had to say. I think he was mad that I drove away the previous day, and I’m kind of thankful that I did. I think it helped show that I didn’t like what he was doing.

This guy was taking advantage of being right there the entire time you pay for a ticket to stare and make these comments at me, and I’m probably not the only person he’s done it to. I hope he’ll think before he makes these unwanted comments to anyone else.

I didn’t complain to the company since he made an indication of respecting my wishes. I don’t plan to park there any more since I don’t want to see him again, but being able to say something took such a weight off my shoulders. I didn’t even realize how much this was affecting me until after I said something.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

A person don’t have to say or do something lewd or sexual for your feelings of discomfort to be justified. It’s 100% okay to not speak up, but if you feel safe doing so, tell them to stop what they’re doing, or complain to their employer if possible. You may feel really relieved afterwards.

– Anonymous

Location: Uptown Charlotte, NC

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

Share

Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“I was really scared it would happen again”

July 18, 2015 By Contributor

I am currently traveling through Europe. I went to Scotland with my University, London with friends, and I am an Au Pair in Italy now. While in Italy I had a few days off and decided to travel alone to Rome. For those of you who have not been to Rome, it is JAM PACKED with people. It’s overwhelming, and to be honest, it was not very fun.

When you ride the metro or buses you are almost always squished like sardines. I went on a bus hoping to go to the Trevi Fountain and, surprise surprise, it was packed with people. I ended up being near an older man (60’s?) with my back to him. Once the bus started I noticed that someone kept pushing into my back and my side. I turned around and it was the old man. I told myself that this man couldn’t be rubbing himself against me and it was just the bus movements. But the mans groin area continued to push against me. I looked again and to my horror, he had a boner. I tried to get away from him but the bus was full.

Then a different older man asked if I would like to take a seat. I though he was being polite and graciously took the open seat to get away the man who was rubbing himself against me. When I sat down in the seat, the man (also in his 60’s) positioned himself to where he had his arms on the poles that were on either side of my seat and he put one leg up on the area where I sat (the seats were like one step up) and basically pinned me into my seat. This made me uncomfortable and his belly kept squishing me as well as his groin. I told my self NO WAY would this happen within five seconds of the other man. But once again, it was happening. He started gyrating and moving his hips in circles. I felt paralyzed. I don’t speak Italian, and even if I did I had lost my voice. I, a feminist who tells her friends to always make a scene and speak out when someone does this exact thing, had lost her voice.

I had never experienced sexual assault like this, and never in a country where I can’t speak the language. It was terrifying. I felt ashamed for not shouting out and cursing at the man like I would have if I was a bystander and not the one being attacked. I decided that the best way to get out of it was to leave. I said “this is my stop” (hoping he understood) and he put his hand on my back and I shoved it away and got off the bus.

I went down to an area with few people and cried. I was stuck in a city where I didn’t speak the language and had no one to comfort me and I felt so ashamed for not sticking up for myself. But I am even more angry at the bystanders. The bus was full of people someone could have helped me and told him to stop or at least ask if everything was ok but instead they let it happen.

Bystanders doing nothing is something that has happened to many of my friends who have been sexually assaulted as well. This is something that needs to change. All in all, this experience has made me stronger and I feel like now, whatever the world throws at me I am prepared. But when it was happening I felt helpless, I don’t want anyone to feel that way. Ever.

We need to stop street harassment around the world. Because of those disgusting men, I refused to take the bus and stuck to the metro, which was very limited, and walking. I was really scared it would happen again.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

If you can yell at your harasser and make them stop, do it. If you can’t, if your voice just can’t come out, like mine, it is ok. It is not your fault, you did nothing wrong. If you see someone harassing someone, stop them or get someone who can if the situation is not safe. Talk about street harassment and the way it has effected you. Help educate others on why it is wrong and why it needs to stop. Give a voice to those who are voiceless.

– C.W.

Location: Rome, Italy

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

Share

Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Two More Women Dead

July 17, 2015 By HKearl

Trigger Warning

India: So horrific, two harassers stabbed a 19-year-old woman 35 times, killing her, as she entered a market because she protested their actions. Her mother was injured while trying to protect her. She filed a case against the men in 2013 several times, but the police did not do anything. So sad. So enraging. Our thoughts go out to her family.

Sandra Bland, via Heavy Editorial

USA: Sandra Bland just moved to Texas to start a new job when police pulled her over for failing to signal that she was changing lanes. The situation quickly escalated and two officers physically hurt her, slammed her to the ground, possibly broke her arm, and then arresting her for the vague offense of “assaulting an officer.” Bland was in jail for a few days and then allegedly hanged herself. Her relatives don’t believe it and neither do many people in the USA. Whatever the truth is about her death, everything leading up to it is certainly racism and police harassment. And if she was killed by police, which seems probable, there just are no words.

Today people have made #IfIDieInPoliceCustody a trending hashtag on Twitter, imploring people to never believe that if they die in police custody that they committed suicide. It is sobering and sad that Black people feel they must say this because the justice system is not to be trusted. And death is not so unfathomable.

In a recent online video Bland posted, she said, “What I need you guys to understand is that being a black person in America is very, very hard.” ‪

#‎SayHerName‬ ‪#‎SandraBland‬

Share

Filed Under: News stories, race

UK: The Back Off Campaign – Ensuring Safety and Choice for Women

July 15, 2015 By Correspondent

Emma Rachel Deane, UK, SSH Blog Correspondent

Over the last 5 years the UK has seen a surge in anti-abortion campaigning targeted at women. Although abortion is not fully decriminalised in the UK, it is estimated that around 200,000 pregnancies are terminated in Britain each year. Two groups in particular, 40 days for Life and Abort67, have increased anti-abortion protest activity outside clinics. Many of the activists wear cameras strapped to their chests and carry banners and placards showing dismembered fetuses in an attempt to shame women for the decisions they are making for their own bodies. In addition to this, women have reported being followed and questioned by protesters while the daily harassment of staff members has made their working lives so uncomfortable that some have withdrawn their services.

I spoke to Abigail Fitzgibbon, the Head of Advocacy and Campaigns at British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS), Britain’s leading provider of abortion services in the UK about this.

She said, “We have tried to work with the police wherever we have clinics to use existing legislation such as public order and harassment laws, but nothing has worked. The Home Office keeps saying that there is legislation in place and it should be used but we know it doesn’t work for this particular problem. Sometimes the police don’t even come to the clinics and if they do there’s very little action they can take to help.”

It is certainly true that the majority of seasoned anti-abortion activists who protest women’s choice are well aware of current public order legislation and are able to navigate around it to remain on the right side of the law. Unfortunately, the law allows protesters to remain standing just outside abortion clinics displaying graphic images and espousing unsolicited advice to women on what could be the most vulnerable day of their lives. It is time to recognise that the legislation we have in place to prevent harassment can no longer deal with this specific problem effectively.

Fitzgibbon went on to say, “It was with a heavy heart that we launched the Back Off Campaign. We didn’t ever think harassment outside clinics would get bad enough in the UK to warrant it. ”

Created by BPAS and supported by various high profile organisations such as Mumsnet and The Royal College of Gynecologists and Obstetricians, the Back Off Campaign proposes the introduction of “buffer zones” around clinics in which protest activity cannot occur under the law. The introduction of such zones would put UK legislation in line with countries such as France, Canada and America and would allow women to get through the doors of a clinic without being approached by anti-choice activists or presented with shame-mongering images. The zones would also allow activists their right to protest at a respectful distance from the clinic while enabling women to access a lawful medical procedure in confidence.

The introduction of such safe spaces outside abortion clinics in the UK is a total necessity if organisations like BPAS are to contend with the tactics of anti-choice activists. Fitzgibbon told me, “The threat the activists pose isn’t just that they harass women and staff outside clinics, but that they are actually trying to close clinics down or prevent them from opening in the first place. We came very close to that happening to a BPAS clinic in Blackfriars. Unfortunately another clinic, not a BPAS one, did eventually have to shut down due to the unmanageable protests. There’s a handful of anti-abortion protesters who will go to these lengths, but you only need a handful to create absolute havoc.”

Under current legislation a BPAS patient could complain that she felt harassed and intimidated in public but if she is to see any kind of justice after reporting her ordeal she would then have to testify in court against her harasser or harassers. As Fitzgibbon says, “It seems a massive price to ask someone to pay. It pushes the problem back onto women again and almost punishes them for wanting to stand up for themselves.”

In 2014 Dawn Purvis, director of an abortion provider in Northern Ireland, secured a harassment conviction against Bernadette Smyth, leader of ‘Precious Life’, an organisation notorious for it’s anti-choice ‘street activism’. The conviction took almost a year to come about, during which time Dawn was subjected to questions in court surrounding her honesty and “fortitude”. Smyth has since won her appeal and the conviction was thrown out of court last month.

It’s no secret that a great deal of the UK’s pro-life movement stems from certain wings of particular churches. Abort67, for example, is linked to the Jubilee Community Church in Worthing, which BPAS has attempted to work with on repeated occasions in order to create a solution to the problem of inappropriate protesting by its members. Fitzgibbon has found the organisation to be less than helpful. “”When we appealed to them to help they told us that they supported the protesters. Its one thing to be anti-abortion and lobby parliament or appeal to congregations to write to MPs, it’s quite another to condone the harassment of women who believe different things. Whatever your feelings are on abortion, we should all be able to agree that the intimidation of women is not acceptable.”

It is certainly arguable that the line between the right to protest and a woman’s right to access medical care can be drawn in exactly that way. As Fitzgibbon put it, “The Back Off Campaign isn’t about trying to make a political point, its about what these protests are doing to individual women. The idea that this is about two sides of a debate is ridiculous. If someone wants to debate BPAS, or me, or somebody who is a campaigner then they’re more than welcome to, but taking that fight to individual patients is unacceptable.”

It can’t be ignored that this kind of protest activity around bodily autonomy is very specific to women and Fitzgibbon was clear in her view about this aspect of the argument. “For me, it’s just blatant misogyny and sexism which stems from two ideas. Firstly, that a woman is not bright enough to understand what’s happening when she has an abortion and secondly, something more sinister, which involves sexual ethics and the ability to control women.”

When anti-abortion street activists tell us that they are ‘just here to help’ it is certainly very interesting to imagine how they arrived at the conclusion that women needed their help in the first place. It is difficult to picture a world in which a man would face the same level of unsolicited advice for choosing to undergo a vasectomy. No one would accept the premise that he couldn’t possibly understand what the procedure involves and that he would need to be shown graphic images of testicles mid-operation to comprehend it.

When asked about her fears if the Back Off Campaign is unsuccessful Fitzgibbon replied, “We don’t want to frighten anyone, there’s no need to panic, but we all need to be mindful about what has happened in America in the past. The last thing we want to do is make women scared, but this is getting worse and nobody is paying attention to us.”

When men make up over 70% of British parliament it is hardly a challenge to work out why women’s interests are so often put on the back burner. I have no doubt that a parliament representative of the society it governs would go a long way in ensuring that the needs of its people were being met. Political representation and the decriminalisation of abortion are two of ‘fourth fave’ feminism’s biggest challenges. While these two problems combine to perpetuate a culture in which the harassment of women outside medical centres is accepted it is up to us to take action and support initiatives like the Back Off Campaign.

Find out more about BPAS here and write to your local MP here.

Emma Rachel Deane is a London-based retail manager for a fast growing women’s lifestyle brand and an outspoken advocate for women’s social justice issues. She can be found blogging on Raging Hag or tweeting @emmaracheldeane.

Share

Filed Under: correspondents

Two Men in Russia are Harassed for Holding Hands in Public

July 14, 2015 By HKearl

In this video, two men in Russia hold hands and walk around Moscow to see how people react. They are harassed – including two physical assaults – by several men (I noticed one woman gawk but I don’t believe any women verbally harassed them). This is the reality for same-sex couples in many parts of the world if they choose to openly show their affection. This is not okay. Public spaces should be safe for EVERYONE.

H/t SSH supporter Mark

Share

Filed Under: LGBTQ, street harassment

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Share Your Story

Share your street harassment story for the blog. Donate Now

From the Blog

  • #MeToo 2024 Study Released Today
  • Join International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2022
  • Giving Tuesday – Fund the Hotline
  • Thank You – International Anti-Street Harassment Week 2021
  • Share Your Story – Safecity and Catcalls Collaboration

Buy the Book

Search

Archives

  • September 2024
  • March 2022
  • November 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • January 2021
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008

Comment Policy

SSH will not publish any comment that is offensive or hateful and does not add to a thoughtful discussion of street harassment. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, disabalism, classism, and sexism will not be tolerated. Disclaimer: SSH may use any stories submitted to the blog in future scholarly publications on street harassment.
  • Contact
  • Events
  • Join Us
  • Donate
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Copyright © 2026 Stop Street Harassment · Website Design by Sarah Marie Lacy