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“I shouldn’t have to fight anyone off”

September 5, 2014 By Contributor

I was out one evening at a local pub, enjoying some live music with friends. We were off in a corner by ourselves, doing our own thing, dancing, and having a good time. A man came up to me and started dancing behind me. I sort of swayed for a minute while I debated my options and then I stepped forward and away from him. He grabbed my arm and pulled my back against him, pinning my arm to my chest. I pulled against him again and tried to pull away and he held onto my rest. Finally, my friends noticed what was happening and one of my male friends pulled me away from the guy and forced the guy to leave.

I’m not sure what I would have done had my friends not been there. The guy was drunk and wouldn’t let me go. I had bruises on my arm the next day and I was angry. What gives anyone the right to touch me without my consent? The fact that I’m a foot shorter than you, that I’m smaller than you, doesn’t give anyone the right to manhandle me.

It made me realize that I need to learn to protect myself, because I can’t use strength alone to fight someone off. The saddest part is, I shouldn’t have to fight anyone off. There is so much disrespect in putting hands on someone that never gave you permission to and it makes me so angry!

– ET

Location: Florida/Pub

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

Meet the Third Cohort of Blog Correspondents of 2014!

September 5, 2014 By HKearl

Meet the Blog Correspondents of the Third 2014 Cohort!

Katie Bowers, NY, USA

Katie is a social worker and community educator interested in ending gender-based violence, working with youth to make the world a better place, and using pop culture as a tool for social change. Katie holds a B.S. from Cornell University and an M.S.W. from Hunter College. Katie found her footing as a feminist and activist through her work as a Student Area Coordinator with Amnesty International and as an intern with Girls for Gender Equity and Make the Road New York. When not working with in real life young people at her professional gig, Katie volunteers with the Harry Potter Alliance, an organization that utilizes the power of the internet and popular stories like Harry Potter and The Hunger Games to make activism accessible and engaging. Check out her writing at the Imagine Better Blog and geek out with her on Twitter, @CornishPixie9.

Daniel Burdick, CA, USA

Daniel remains a longtime activist for peace, the environment, and social equality. During his otherwise unremarkable childhood, he experienced firsthand the profound effects public harassment made on his friends and family. While the alternatives of the late 1960’s were being explored, the rebellious although impressionable teen stumbled upon early feminist literature; resulting in his adoption of its core philosophies. An active participant in the 1980’s “Myth California USA” movement ( a counterpoint to the national beauty pageant in Santa Cruz, California), he soon embraced a lifetime commitment with a Women’s Studies UC graduate. Daniel is also the parent of two independent, high-achieving female offspring; and continues to offer creative strategies in transportation and recycling issues regarding climate change, wildlife preservation, and the social ethics of media and technology. He currently works as a design engineer and is an avid bicyclist.

Laura Bustamante, Lima, Peru

Laura ha estudiado Administración en Turismo en Universidades de Perú y Barcelona, y Estudios de Género en la ONG Flora Tristán. Orgullosa feminista que le encanta escribir, viajar y comer, con un gran interés en activismo para igualdad de género, mujer y la comunidad LGTB. Actualmente realiza un taller con niños y niñas en una escuela pública para que se comprometan con la igualdad entre mujeres y hombres, asimismo rechacen toda forma de violencia, discriminación y/o desvalorización de la mujer/niña. Apasionada al arte, la danza y el diseño. La puedes seguir en Twitter en @laeureka

Laura has studied Tourism Management in Universities of Peru and Barcelona, and Gender Studies at the NGO Flora Tristan. A proud feminist who loves to write, traveling and food, with a strong interest in activism for gender equality, women and LGBTcommunity. She is currently conducting a workshop with children in a public school to commit them on gender equality by rejecting all forms of violence, discrimination and devaluation of women and girl. She is passionate about art, dance and design. You can follow her on Twitter at @laeureka

Sarah Colomé, IL, USA

Sarah is a progress-focused educator and advocate dedicated to building strategic coalitions centered on creating social change. Previously serving as the SOARS Booking Director for A Long Walk Home, Inc., Sarah now serves as an adjunct professor in DePaul University’s Peace, Justice and Conflict Studies department, teaching on issues of multiculturalism, identity, and social justice. Her passion for feminism and multicultural justice was ignited in college, where she began her own exploration of identity. Sarah sits on the Board of Directors for Chicago Women’s Health Center, and volunteers as a Medical & Legal Advocate empowering sexual violence survivors on behalf of Rape Victim Advocates, in Chicago. Having traveled both nationally and internationally as a competitive collegiate public speaker, Sarah acts as a consultant, coaching collegiate debate, and providing trainings on issues of equity, justice, and advocacy across the country. Her writing has been published in Fair Observer, F Bomb, and Brazen Life, and you can follow Sarah’s updates on Linkedin or hear her perspectives on Twitter.

Siel Devos, London, England

Siel is currently doing her master’s degree in Middle Eastern studies with a major in contemporary Islam at SOAS University in London. She has spent a year in the Middle East to study Arabic and to gain insight in the Islamic society, and where she experienced the reality of street harassment in the Arab world. In addition to trying to fight gender issues in the Middle East and beyond, she writes her own fashion blog Mademoisielle.com, and she’s also starting up an online fashion, lifestyle & relationships magazine for muslim women. If she still has some spare time left, Siel likes SATC re-runs, the occasional pilates session or cooking up anything that involves avocado. Find her on twitter and instagram under @mademoisielle for way too many selfies and general over-sharing.

Vanessa Diakides, London, England

Vanessa works on the Youth Programme at FORWARD UK and is currently finishing her MA in Women and Child Abuse at CWASU. Her professional interests and experience include supporting women and youth to access education and employment opportunities, direct support work with women experiencing homelessness, substance misuse issues, forms of gendered abuse (including sexual violence, domestic violence and FGM) and those involved in street sex work, research into issues affecting BAMER women and youth, intersectionality between gender, race, disability and religion; and campaigning, lobbying and outreach. She is committed to promoting inclusion and combating poverty and discrimination in all its forms. All views are her own.
Angie Evans, Washington, DC, USA

Angie is a community organizer and social worker. She started her career in the progressive movement during her teens, coordinating punk rock shows and community events in order to create space for youth in her small town. After completing her Masters in Social Work and “getting her feet wet” in Missouri politics, she moved to DC to work on health care reform and economic inequality. At the Center for Community Change she did everything from fill congressional hearings with bales of hay to train new organizers in the South. Most recently she helped grow and mobilize a coalition of 1,900 national, state, and local groups advocating for low-income programs with the Coalition on Human Needs. Last year she quit her job to travel around the world with her husband. They have just returned and are continuing to write about travel and adventure at http://whereisseangie.com

Menusha Gunasekara, Matale, Sri Lanka

Menusha is a recent graduate of Asian University for Women, Bangladesh and holds a B.S in Public Health. She is an advocate for Peace and Human Rights, Women Issues and Environmental Protection. She is also an ambassador for UN My World Survey and a Rising Star at WEDU leadership development program. Recent chaotic incident of street harassment in Sri Lanka inspired her to join SSH and play an active role. By joining SSH, her goal is to educate and raise awareness about the harassment that takes place on the streets of Sri Lanka which has been tolerated by women silently. She enjoys yoga, meditation and walking in green areas and tasting dishes from different cultures. She can be reached via LinkedIn.

Andrea Flores Hernández, Santa Cruz, Bolivia

Andrea is in her second year of university, studying Social Communication. She loves languages (She is currently studying French at L’Alliance Française in Santa Cruz), she is into photography, and she is passionate about the books. Like many other women, she has suffered street harassment, even in the street where her house is located; but that does not stop her optimism and her belief that this type of harassment can be eliminated. Currently, she is part of a program in her city that improves citizen journalism. You can follow her on Twitter: @AndreaFlores116

 

Diana Hinova, Sofia, Bulgaria

Diana has experienced life as a woman on the streets of Bulgaria, Russia, the Untied States, and Nepal. She has a Master’s in Public Policy from Georgetown University and works as a consultant to INGOs on topics generally unrelated to gender, while making efforts in her spare time to engage others in dismantling the norms that permit gender violence. Traveling and eating well also rank among her priorities. Get in touch or see what else Diana is up to @dialeidoscope or letnimletni.blogspot.com

Monica Ibrahim, Cairo, Egypt

Monica is the communications manager of HarassMap, an Egyptian initiative aiming at ending social acceptability of sexual harassment. Monica is also a Cairo-based reporter published in several local and international media outlets: The GlobalPost, Scripps Howard Wire and Al-Shorouk newspaper among others. She is also the winner of GroundTruth Fellowship to report on youth unemployment in Egypt and has been previously community manager at “Open Elections Egypt”, a news platform launched by Stpryful and Google to provide live updates on Egyptian elections in 2014. Monica has a degree in Mass communication and journalism from Cairo University; she also studied human rights at Beirut Arab University and Women Leadership at Kansas University. She has a special interest and focus on entrepreneurship and culture. You can follow her on twitter or her personal blog.

Ngwentah Berlyne Ngwalem, Buea, Cameroon

Berlyne is a Cameroonian-based women’s human rights activist, passionate and determined to put an end to social injustice of any kind. She has been an activist long before she came to know who an activist was and what activism really means. She has a BA in Literature, English Language, Performing and visual arts from the University of Buea, Cameroon. She talks about women’s rights, social injustice, and the importance of emotional wellbeing at any given opportunity. Her method of activism is very spontaneous and has no specific place or time to create change. She adores social media activism because it gives her the opportunity to get people’s point of views from across the globe and equally share what it is like living as a Cameroon woman living in a patriarchal Cameroonian society. She loves singing, spending time with her family or chilling at the beach. You can find her on twitter @Luvequalityrule and Facebook.

Yvonne Ní Mhurchú, Limerick, Ireland

Yvonne graduated last year with a BA degree in psychology and philosophy. She volunteers as a SATU (psychological support) worker for her local Rape Crisis Centre and is an advocate for women’s issues and equality. Her belief is that education is hugely important in fighting inequality, harassment and sexual violence. She has previously been published on stop street harassment, ihollaback and is a regular contributor to the website fem2pt0. This year Yvonne started a feminist group, the Limerick Feminist Network which is growing stronger every day. She has also recently coordinated an anti-harassment campaign aimed at night life venues in her area called Good Night Out and is currently working with other feminist groups to help them start the campaign in their regions. You can follow her, her feminist group or her anti-harassment campaign on twitter: @YvonneNiMhurchu, @lmkfeminist and @GNOLimerick.

Khiara Ortiz, NY, USA

Khiara is a recent graduate of New York University with a BAS in Journalism and Psychology. Though she currently works as an assistant in the contracts department for Hachette Book Group, a publishing company, and is passionate about writing, language, and literature, she has increasingly become interested in the feminist movement, specifically in ending street harassment. Living in New York City and experiencing this type of sexual oppression first-hand has made her become aware of the degree to which it is still a problem in societies across the world and just as much of a crisis as heightened forms of sexual violence. Khiara hopes to organize an awareness event during next year’s Sexual Harassment Awareness Month in April 2015. If you also live in NYC and would like to collaborate with her, please feel free to contact her at KhiaraOrtiz@gmail.com.

Pamela Segura, NY, USA

Pam recently graduated from Manhattan College with a degree in English and music. She writes for SciArt in America, an online magazine that focuses on the connections between science, art, and technology, and the music website Pancakes and Whiskey. Before her senior year of college, Pam completed a 117-page grant-funded research paper on the relationship between gender performativity and sexual violence. That project compelled her to continue exploring the social, political, racial, ethnic, and biological factors that construct and deconstruct gender. She is also a volunteer at Groundwork Hudson Valley, an environmentalist nonprofit based in Yonkers, New York. When she is not rambling on about her love of feminism or the English department at her alma mater, Pam writes nature poetry, goes on runs, and plays the blues on her guitar. You can follow her on Instagram or Twitter @pamlivinlovin.

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“I refrain from exercise to avoid it”

September 4, 2014 By Contributor

Let me start with that I’ve recently lost a lot of weight, so I dress to flatter myself, not to gain attention. I’m finally comfortable in clothes and I feel good.

I went out for a jog tonight and was only out for about 30 minutes, but in that 30 minutes, 3 different people decided it was appropriate to honk, yell, or brake next to me. The guy that honked scared me, because I was focused and I just about face planted on the sidewalk, so that was the first man.

As I kept running, a man on a scooter pulled up alongside me and told me that “I was looking good!” When I ignored  him long enough, he finally kept driving and pulled over into a gas station in front of me. I booked it through there before he had a chance to talk to me.

The last guy slammed on his brakes and didn’t say anything, just stared until traffic pushed him along. Here’s my thing, I run because I want to be healthy. It’s for my benefit, not for anyone else’s, and I don’t appreciate being uncomfortable doing that or being at the gym. It’s dangerous for me to have people breaking my focus and concentration when I’m jogging or lifting weights by making stupid, sexist comments. I’m not trying to impress anyone, I’m trying to improve my life and it makes me angry that people take that away from me by making me uncomfortable enough that I refrain from exercise to avoid it.

– ET

Location: Florida/Gym/Sidewalk

 Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“He would send police to the area”

September 4, 2014 By Contributor

Twice in the past couple of weeks, I have been verbally assaulted by passersby while walking my dogs.  The first time, I was standing on the side of a trail commonly shared by cyclists, pedestrians and runners.  A man biking quickly by commented on my dogs, whom I think he thought would get in his way, and when I defended them, he went on to make several profane arm and hand gestures as he yelled vulgar words at me.  He continued to bike quickly away.

The second time was this evening in my neighborhood.  I was walking my dogs again, on a sidewalk, carrying a flashlight around 9:00 pm.  A passenger in a sedan that was waiting at a 4-way stop sign/intersection began screaming profanity and threatened to hurt me as I started crossing the road.   I called 911 and to my dismay, found that I had to wait to speak to an operator due to a high call volume.  Initially, I second guessed my decision to call 911 due to concerns that more significant matters could be causing the unexpected high call volume in my area.  Nevertheless, I waited and spoke with a 911 operator.  The operator listened and reported that he would send police to the area.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think every town could benefit from public postings of street harassment laws.  Victims should know their rights and community awareness of the issue might possibly help to reduce its prevalence.

– Anonymous

Location: Collier & Mt Lebanon, PA

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

 

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“Men were perverts who harassed schoolgirls”

September 3, 2014 By Contributor

I was on my way home after school.  That meant walking from the Air Force base to the Fussa train station.

Right outside the base, there are a lot of bars. Bars that employ young Asian (not Japanese) women as “hostesses” and perhaps even sex workers.  I, a young half-Asian mixed girl, had been mistaken for one of these women before, by a man who profusely apologized after asking me on my way to school, “What time are you open?”

I remember what I was wearing:  A light blue shirt and light blue trackpants.  I was covered from head to toe, no cleavage to show, no legs exposed.  I looked every bit like the student I was.

A car pulled over on the other side of the road.

A young man got out.

“Asobo?”  He called out.

Loosely translated, “Let’s play.”

I had no doubt what he meant and what he thought I was.

He followed me, continue to call out: “Asobo?  Asobo?”  He got louder, sounding more forceful.

I refused to turn around and soon he stopped following me.

I hadn’t told my father and my stepmother about the previous encounters.  But this was the last straw.  I didn’t feel safe.

I bravely brought it up.  My stepmother shrugged it off.  “It happens to everybody,” she says.  To her, it was no big deal.  Men were perverts who harassed schoolgirls and what happened to me was normal enough.

I hoped my father would offer to drive me to school.  But he didn’t.  Thankfully, I never encountered another incident like that for the last remaining months of school.

I used to laugh when I told this story.  I was mistaken for a prostitute, could you believe it?  But it’s not funny, not anything about it is funny.  Not for the women of other Asian countries working  at those bars and certainly not for me, a fifteen-year-old girl.

– Anonymous

Location: Fussa, Japan

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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