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“Good morning, baby”

July 11, 2014 By Contributor

Every day whenever I go to work and as I walk to the corner of our street to ride a jeepney, there will always be different men who will look at me and tell me “Good morning, Idol.”or “Good morning, baby.'” or “Ingat ka babe.” (Take care, babe) Sometimes they will really come right next to me to whisper those things and it makes me angry but I cannot do something.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

I want to be able to do a flyering near at our area, do an online ad to have those people to be aware that what they are doing is wrong.

– Kat G

Location: La Loma, Quezon City, Philippines

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

USA: “Lock Up Your Daughters”: Teaching Them Early?

July 11, 2014 By Correspondent

Kasumi Hirokawa, PA, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

When I was scrolling through my Facebook feed this afternoon, I saw a photograph of a plump baby boy innocently smiling at a sock monkey. But neither the smile nor the plush monkey caught my attention first. Not even the bright green frame that matched that shirt. It was his bright green shirt (or a onesie) that made me linger on the photo. The graphics of the shirt said: Lock Up Your Daughters.

I think it was meant to be cute. It was meant to be funny. It was meant to be a corny innuendo, with a dash of age-appropriate naughtiness only his older relatives are able to chuckle at. Only that, for me, it wasn’t any of those things. I was made uncomfortable. Because I knew the woman who posted the photo has a daughter who is in elementary school.

To me, the slogan screams: this boy will grow up to be a stud; tell your girls to shut their legs while I, as a parent of the irresistibly charming boy, will do nothing to prevent him from taking away the purity of your precious princesses.

That makes me fear what the baby’s shirt may teach the little girl and the little boy about themselves, what is expected of them and how they view others around them. Will the lesson be that it is the responsibility of parents who have daughters to police their sexuality? Are girls responsible for protecting their purity? Is confining girls’ movement the only solution for them not to be bothered? Is sex something men take away from women? Is a woman’s worth dependent on how many sexual advances she refuses before marriage? If she is not properly “lock[ed] up,” does she deserve anything bad happening to her?

Of course, I’m not saying the boy’s parents were to blame for dressing him in such a shirt. Sexism is so insidious yet pervasive, it is hard to catch. The saying goes that a fish doesn’t know that it is swimming in water.

Rearing a child is no easy task, let alone raising a future feminist in the society infected with misogyny. But I hope the sock monkey-loving baby boy will grow up to be a man who stands up for his sister, not because he thinks she should be locked up but he sees her as a human being whose rights are equally important as his own.

Kasumi is a recent graduate from Penn State with a BA in journalism. Her writing has been published in Valley Magazine, City Weekend Shanghai, Penn State GeoBlog and Shanghai Daily. You can follow her on Twitter, @kasumihrkw

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“This b*itch” was repeated frequently and loudly

July 10, 2014 By Contributor

I take the bus every day to and from work. One day as I was waiting for the bus, this much older man that was waiting at the same stop turned to me and said, “You probably get this a lot, but you’re really beautiful.” I didn’t bother responding, because this type of thing happens a lot when I’m on or waiting for the bus, and saying anything at all only seems to encourage conversation.

Usually if I ignore the person, they stop bothering me, but not this time. The man made a few more attempts to get my attention, and then got angry, and pulled out his phone and made a call to some friend, who he very loudly complained to about “this b*tch” who was ignoring him. “This b*itch” was repeated frequently and loudly, and he would keep glancing over to see if I was paying attention to this.

I was very angry and even more concerned about who he could possibly be talking to and what that would mean for me. He was still on the phone and I was still debating the best course of action when my bus pulled up. He must have been taking a different one, as he did not get on.

– Anonymous

Location: Public Square, Cleveland, Ohio

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“She got long hair and a fat ass too.”

July 10, 2014 By Contributor

I was standing on canal street. I was wearing a sundress and listening to music. A guy walked by and shouted, “Oh, wee, look at red (I’m light skinned). She got long hair and a fat ass too.” All of the white people turned to look at me. I wished that the ground would open up and swallow me.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think there should be more bicycle cops patrolling the French Quarter.

– KDP

Location: New Orleans, LA

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“When you whistle at women, it’s incredibly offensive and demeaning”

July 10, 2014 By Contributor

About a week ago, I confronted a couple of catcallers, for the first time in my life.

I was walking through the Scottsdale Hilton on the way to meet a friend who was visiting from Seattle. The open-air hallway took me past a portion of the pool patio, and as I walked by I heard whistling. A few times.

Not that it matters, but I was wearing conservative, professional, and loose-fitting attire and a pair of flats since I’d come straight from work.  Hair tied back, no makeup.

Normally I just ignore this shit because sometimes I feel like directing any energy, even negative energy, toward these idiots is somewhat of a reward system for them, but as I approached the building door I thought, “You know what, no.” I turned around, scanned the area and saw a single table with two late 20s/early 30s men sitting at it, surrounded by plenty of empty beer bottles. As I approached them, they smiled, half-drunkenly, half-incredulously; they must have thought I was going to give them my number or some kind of lap dance. I was almost expecting them to high-five each other because AW SHIT SHE’S COMING OVER, SCORE!

“Hi,” I said. “I notice you’re the only two people out here, and I’m the only person walking past. I just wanted to let you know when you whistle at women, it’s incredibly offensive and demeaning. I am a human being, not an object that exists for your viewing pleasure.”

“It’s okay, you’ll get over it.”

*commence internal rage*

“Well actually, no, you’ll get over it. Because as straight white males with enough money to stay at the Hliton, you have the privilege of being able to choice of how you address people around you. YOU get to make the choice. I don’t. So no, I won’t get over it. I’ve been dealing with it for years.”

At that point, I turned and walked away, and continued on to go meet my friend.  My heart was pounding, and my adrenaline was racing.  As much as those two douchecanoes made me want to SCREAM, it felt really good to be able to call them on it.  Honestly though, I wasn’t expecting such a quick retort from them.

So much work to be done…

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Get more male buy-in to combat street harassment and blatant sexism.  Some kind of campaign that encourages men to call out their peers instead of letting thing slide or shaking their heads/rolling their eyes being the most common way of expressing disapproval.

I really wonder what the response from these two would have been if my male friend, who is 6’4″”, 260 lbs, and covered in tattooes would have called them out on their behavior.

– Greta

Location: Hilton Scottsdale Resort, pool deck, Arizona

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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SSH will not publish any comment that is offensive or hateful and does not add to a thoughtful discussion of street harassment. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, disabalism, classism, and sexism will not be tolerated. Disclaimer: SSH may use any stories submitted to the blog in future scholarly publications on street harassment.
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