In college I was walking down the street, running some errands, on a sunny Saturday afternoon. There were tons if people walking around in center city Philadelphia, but I happened to notice these two guys up ahead of me. I don’t know why they stuck out to me, but right after I passed them, they started cat calling and saying things to me. It started with a “hey beautiful” and other such statements, but as I kept ignoring them, not only did the comments get worse and worse, but I realized they were following me.

Finally, one of the men said “I would love to slide my dick inside those milky, white thighs.” I was so scared that I went into the nearest store and waited until I was sure they were gone. I was so worried they would come back that I didn’t finish my errands but just went home instead. Philly is pretty notorious for its level of danger, especially to women.

– Elana

Location: Center city, Philadelphia, near the 11th and Market subway stop

After going through The OpEd Project‘s public seminar about how to have a public voice, including how to write op-eds, in 2010, I began writing op-eds on street harassment. I quickly learned not to read the comments, but today, as I did research for an op-ed, I went back to the comments of my second op-ed — the first one where I shared a street harassment experience. Ugh, most of them are upsetting.

I was 27 years old, on a business trip in Oregon, and had a scary experience while running. In my op-ed, which opened with that experience, I connected my verbal harassment experience to recent stories of men raping and murdering women runners to explain why my experience scared me. I concluded with suggestions for what needed to change so that women runners would be safer.

Most of the commenters were quite upset with me and very dismissive. These are excerpts of just a few of their charming remarks:

“Wait til you lose your looks, become middle aged and the male attention stops. Then you’ll really have something to complain about. Lighten up honey.”

“If common cat calls bother her then she should grow a thicker skin and if she is scared then she should learn to protect her self. She should be happy that she has the ability to run and is pretty enough to get a cat call once in a while.”

“Find an appropriate place to run where other runners go. If you choose to just run along the side of the road in spandex or tight shorts, you will receive catcalls. That is just human nature.”

“Ms. Kearl, your picture, unless it’s been photoshopped, suggests you’re attractive. I assume that at least one reason you run is to remain so. If you’d like to avoid whistles, stop running and put on fifty pounds.”

“I would like all women to express their appreciation of my physique when they pass me. I feel harassed when they dont. I am thinking of writing a book which details the harassment of this silence. I call it “Start Public Complements: Making Public Places Welcoming for Men”. I want laws passed that make it illegal for women to pass a man and not make a positive comment about their physical features”

“Boo hoo lady get over your self. Life must be hard for you with your big problems. Grow a thicker skin and learn how to protect your self.”

“A review of Ms Kearl’s web page makes one think that Ms Kearl must seek out this type of harassing response in order to support her thesis for the book. Male predators are a very serious social danger, especially to younger women and this questionable attempt for publicity only demeans the real problem and the need to combat it. (I hope the obvious satire of the above comment helps you to appreciate how misguided Holly’s position is!)”

When I’m in the thick of street harassment activism and largely surrounded by people who get it, I can forget how many people simply do not. They think it’s no big deal, a compliment, or our fault.

In reading these comments, I am very glad that the national report on street harassment will be out on Tuesday proving this is a pervasive problem that negatively impacts people’s (primarily women’s) lives. I hope it can make a difference!

Everyday I pass through this situation of cat calling in public places. It is very disrespectful and unwelcome for me. This is the way I feel everyday. I feel very sacred because I have to pass through the same spot just to go to High School. I don’t know what to do or how to respond to them because I think they might do something that could hurt me. Even when I walk with my mom or sister. They still do it. And is around my community where there is cops but they don’t do nothing about it. This is very unsafe because it is a human rights issue.

– SG

Location: Brooklyn where I live

I live in Barbados and street harassment is a serious problem there. I have witnessed men blatantly calling women out their names and imposing their unwanted attention onto them. Leaving home one has to garner oneself in preparation for the onslaught of rude comments and suggestions that are sure to come. Verbal and physical harassment are so interwoven into the fabric of our culture that it has become accepted as the norm. So accepted that a song called “Meat gotta pull” actually got air play on the radios here.

There is a common expression in Barbados that Bajan women are unmannerly and difficult to approach but no exploration of how this came to be the case. I’ll be generous and say that at least half of your daily encounters with men here will end with some inappropriate and unwanted comment. So is it any wonder that females are apprehensive when males approach them?

The worst part is that I believe some of them think they’re flattering you.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

I believe more people need to get involved when they witness street harassment taking place and be the keepers of our brothers and sisters. Men are the perpetrators in many cases but they are also the victims.

– Anonymous

Location: Barbados