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Kotex Can’t Tell the Difference Between Harassment and a Compliment

April 28, 2014 By Contributor

By: Lauren Schechter

(en Español a continuación)

When I arrived in Lima, Peru, as an American exchange student about two months ago, I thought I knew about street harassment. I had read about it, I had experienced a few catcalls here and there, and I had even had an egg thrown at me out the window of a moving car. But it had never been as constant as what women here experience every day. During my first of many ten-minute walks to school, I experienced endless “piropos” –  honking, whistles, and of course the infamous kissing noises that Limeña women are forced to endure each time they walk down the street alone (and sometimes otherwise).

But apparently Kotex Perú can’t tell the difference between street harassment and a nice compliment. Through the Facebook page of “Paremos el Acoso Callejero,” a Lima-based organization for fighting street harassment, I came into contact with the following Kotex Peru ad with the caption “¡Los piropos me alegran todo el día/tarde/noche!” (Catcalls cheer me up all morning/afternoon/night!)


Ad Translation:

“Kotex Test: If you are walking down the street and you are cat-called, you:

  1. Laugh at the situation and keep walking
  2. Stop and give a look that could kill to whoever is catcalling you
  3. Take your lipstick out of your purse, put it on, and blow him a kiss”

Clearly, the sentiment of this ad is that “piropos,” or catcalls, are a compliment, and something to be appreciated. Listen, Kotex. This is not flirting. This is street harrassment.

A “piropo” isn’t It’s not about the fact that this man thinks I’m pretty. He’s not trying to brighten my day. He’s not trying to pay me a compliment. The smirks and laughter that often accompany these expressions make it clear that they’re meant to make women uncomfortable for the harrasser’s own entertainment.

There was certainly an online backlash to this ad – on Kotex Perú’s facebook page, on Twitter, and on the page of the organization I mentioned above. The company, evidently fearing the bad publicity this might cause, published the following photo.

Apology Translation:

“We ask the forgiveness of all the women who felt affected by the message posted on April 2, 2014. We posted it with the goal of incentivizing women to express themselves freely.”

There are a few reasons why I think this apology isn’t satisfactory. First of all, the company didn’t even remove the original post. Second, they didn’t even acknowledge the fact that catcalls aren’t a compliment, they’re street harrassment.

But then they went a step further. I’m sorry, implying that street harrassment is a compliment, and that it should brighten my day, and that I should blow my harrasser a kiss is supposed to make me feel more able to express myself freely? I don’t think so.

You know what might make Limeña women feel more able to express themselves freely? Equal use of public spaces without fear of harrassment.

Let Kotex Perú know how you feel about their normalization and glorification of street harassment:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/KotexPeru

Twitter: @KotexPeru

Want to receive updates on Paremos el Acoso Callejero’s efforts to fight street harassment in Lima?

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/paremoselacosocallejero

Twitter: @noacosocalles

Website: http://paremoselacosocallejero.wordpress.com

Lauren Schechter is a junior studying Economics at the University of Oklahoma. She is currently studying abroad in Lima, Peru. In her free time she likes to travel, make music, and volunteer with the OU Women’s Outreach Center.

_______________ en Español ___________________

Kotex No Sabe la Diferencia

Cuando llegué a Lima-Perú como estudiante de intercambio hace dos meses, creí que sabía mucho sobre el acoso callejero. Había leído mucho, había recibido algunos piropos hasta alguna vez alguien me tiró un huevo desde un carro. Pero jamás iba tan constante como lo que las mujeres en Lima tienen que soportar todos los días. Durante mi primer de muchos caminos a la universidad, que duran solo diez minutos, experimenté piropos sin límite – bocadizos, silbidos, y por supuesto los infames sonidos de besos – que las mujeres limeñas tienen que soportar cada vez que pasan solas (o no siempre solas) por la calle.

Parece que Kotex Perú no sabe la diferencia entre un elogio lindo y el acoso callejero. A través de la página Facebook de “Paremos el Acoso Callejero” una organización limeña que lucha contra este tipo de comportamiento, encontré el siguiente mensaje de Kotex Perú con el subtítulo “¡Los piropos me alegran todo el día/tarde/noche!”

Sin duda, el sentimiento de este mensaje es que piropos son elogios, algo de que las mujeres deben apreciar. Pero los piropos no son un a manera de coquetear. Son acoso callejero.

Un hombre no me manda un piropeo porque piensa que soy bonita. No intenta alegrarme. No intenta darme un elogio. Porque las risas y sonrisas afectadas muchas veces, acompañan los piropos, es obvio que tengan la intención de poner incómodas las mujeres, por nada más que el entretenimiento del piropeador.

Había una reacción fuerte de este mensaje en la página Facebook de Kotex Peru, en Twitter y en lá pagina de la organización que mencioné antes. Las limeñas no estaban entretenidas por este mensaje. La compañía, obviamente con miedo de la publicidad negativa, publicó la foto siguiente:


Hay varias razones por lo que pienso que la disculpa no es suficiente. La compañía dejó en su página el mensaje original y, además, no reconoció que piropos no son elogios, y que son acoso callejero.  Pero hubo algo más. Lo siento, pero al decir que el acoso callejero es un eligió, que debe alegrarme hasta mandar un beso a mi piropeador ¿me hace sentir más libre de expresarme? ¿En serio?

Kotex, ¿saben qué haría que las mujeres limeñas se sientan más libres de expresarse? El uso igualitario de espacios públicos, sin el acoso callejero.

¿Quieres avisar a Kotex Perú cómo te sientes sobre su normalización y glorificación del acoso callejero?

Facebook: www.facebook.com/KotexPeru

Twitter: @KotexPeru

¿Quieres recibir noticias sobre los esfuerzos de Paremos el Acoso Callejero contra el acoso callejero en Lima?

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/paremoselacosocallejero

Twitter: @noacosocalles

Website: http://paremoselacosocallejero.wordpress.com

 

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Filed Under: offensive ads, street harassment

“I felt so uncomfortable”

April 27, 2014 By Contributor

I remember one day I was walking up the streets in the town of Rincon, Puerto Rico. There was a surfing contest going on and everybody had bathing suits as attire. I remember some cars stopped by to make inappropriate comments… I felt so uncomfortable. C’mon guys haven’t you seen a girl in a bathing suit?… I know I just kept walking and looked down the road…

– Anonymous

Location: Puerto Rico

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“Don’t public lewd or the next one will be you”

April 25, 2014 By Contributor

Behold: an old man with legs spread open, gun cocked tight, touching himself over his pants and eyes staring apathetically at me. My long skirt and turtleneck concealed breasts was not masking this man’s perverted imagination.

I looked at him with no emotion, because I knew if I would show my feathers being ruffled by his public lewdness, it would only make him harder. Completely sickened, I took a picture of him straightforwardly so he would know. I was at a local coffee shop working on pieces for my upcoming art show that was going to be displayed in the upcoming months.

I ended up drawing the man, exactly how he was sitting, with his penis erupting through his pants and displayed it at that coffee shop two months later with the following description:

This thing, this salacious slithering snake, with legs spread out, physically cocking at me. Licking my turtleneck, concealed breasts with eyes hiding behind glasses blurred from a glare that came from no where and a mustache magnifying its lusting actions. No such thing shall trespass my civil liberty to sit in a coffee shop, and must I add it was the middle of winter, I was dressed in sweaters from head to toe! What shame, people would have put me to blame if it would have been July. This sexual harassing man, please be aware of him and don’t hesitate to call upon his lustful endeavors; like a child he will runaway, if done in a mother to son reprimand.

It felt so good to display this sadistic behavior that threatened me in that same place. However, revenge was the sweetest when I received a picture of the public lewder sitting in front of the painting of himself one morning, from an employer.

Caution: Don’t public lewd or the next one will be you.

– Greta

Location: Normal, IL

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“This is an experience that no one should go through”

April 24, 2014 By Contributor

I took the bus every week to come back home from my regular music lessons. It was just another day but this time the bus was unusually empty. I didn’t bother much because my stop was just a few minutes away. Just then a man (not more than 25 years of age) took a seat on the row to my left. He kept staring at me for no app aperture reason. It was really uncomfortable so I looked away.

After about a minute or so, I heard shuffling noises from his seat and just cast a casual glance at him. The sight disgusted me out of my wits. He had his pants down and was frantically masturbating while looking at me. I felt violated.

I simply took my bag and moved to the front. It was so disturbing that I started to get disgusting dreams about it and I was afraid to enter the same bus again fearing that the man would be there. It would be ‘just another shag’ for him, but for me, it was the first time I was harassed. I thank God that nothing more happened. I would never be able to come out of it otherwise.

I’m just 16 and this is an experience that no one should go through. Street and public harassment like this should be completely stopped. No one has a clue how disgusting and disturbing it is other than the victims.

– Anonymous

Location: India

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“I wish I was your guitar, I’d let you play me all night”

April 23, 2014 By Contributor

A girl with a guitar. Opens up a whole other vein of street harassment by men. I often walk around the city on my way to some venue or a practice with my guitar on my back. Many guys see that as an easy opening to try to talk to me. To be fair, I have on occasion met a fellow musician or two who actually plays or is in a band, and that is always legit. But the rest of the guys….. ayy.

“Do you play?” they yell out at me as I walk past. Um, I think it’s safe to say that anyone you see walking around with a soft cased guitar on them does play it.

“What kind of music do you play?” they shout as I quickly hurry by.

What does it matter? What if it’s a type of music you’re not into? You wanna become my newest fan? I seriously doubt it. I just keep walking hoping to put as much distance between me and this person shouting questions at me as possible. I used to yell back “yes”, and “everything” to the second question, but after a few times of that I realized that it’s really not about music at all – it’s about getting and trying to hold my attention by these guys.

This is evident by the follow up questions/comments: “Wanna play for me sometimes?”, “Hey honey, I got a gig for you” (said in the sleaziest way possible), “I wish I was your guitar, I’d let you play me all night”, “What, you too busy to stop and talk to me?”, “Oh, you think you’re a star, huh?” and the inevitable diss when I keep walking, “Ah, I bet you suck anyway!” and “I bet you can’t REALLY play!” and “Stuck up guitar bitch”.

One guy even said “I hope you break your fucking hand, bitch!” when I continued on past, ignoring the barrage of questions like I usually do when one of these guys starts up. It really is a f’d up thing that you find yourself having to go through on far too many occasions, and I can bet you that guys walking around the city with their guitars don’t go through ANY of this shit. It sucks and it’s not fair. Why?, I often ask myself. Why?

I have taken to wearing my headphones around my neck when I hit the streets with my axe in tow. And when I spot one of those guys, and you know what I mean, you can always spot them – the ones that get you on their radar and lock onto you immediately with that 100 yard stare – I quickly slip the headphones over my ears before I get within earshot of them. I make sure to keep something running on my Ipod so that I don’t have to hear one f*cking word or even begin to acknowledge their bullshit. Me walking around with my guitar does not make me an instantly accessible attraction or device. I truly and honestly wish that guys would grow the f*ck up. That is all.

– Kayla

Location: Manhattan/Queens

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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