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South Africa: The Role of Men during #16Days

November 29, 2013 By Correspondent

By: Gcobani Qambela, South Africa, SSH Correspondent

Trigger Warning

I was shocked to see a tweet by controversial South African blogger, Sentletse Diakanyo on the first day of 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Based Violence in South Africa. In the tweet, Diakanyo says that: “We must not ignore the slaughter of unborn babies during this 16 Days of Activism.” He went on to have more tirades about how “life begins at conception” and that even if women conceived children under “violent circumstances” it’s still unacceptable for women to “slaughter” ‘innocent life’. His main premise being that during 16 Days women should not look at gender-based violence but also at murder women commit to “unborn babies”. He further likens abortion to rape and says both should be “equally condemned” as they are criminal.

What triggered me as I read these tweets was not the inaccuracy of the statements made by Diakanyo, but the extent to which he successfully managed to derail the conversation from 16 Days to a conversation where many people had to move from sharing about gender-based violence to correcting this misinformation he was sharing. Yes, scientific evidence indicates that life does begin at conception, but personhood/humanness only begins after birth so women are not slaughtering babies when they terminate pregnancy. Yet, Diakanyo concludes “We will condemn criminal acts [of abortion] regardless of what feminists think.” This is despite the fact that abortion is legal in South Africa.

Many people have noted that Diakanyo gets some self-pleasure for triggering and making others angry, especially if they respond to his ignorance. This appears to make him happy and satisfied with himself. This is what has made writing this post difficult as I wondered: how do I respond to this bigotry without giving so much meaning to patriarchal garbage spewed by Diakanyo? I further thought: what is my role as a man living in a violently patriarchal society like South Africa? And lastly I wondered: what is my role during this 16 Days?

In the chapter “Is Paris Burning” bell hooks notes that many heterosexual identifying black men living in white supremacist cultures like the United States (and South Africa I would argue) always behave as if the primary “evil” of racism is the “refusal of the dominant culture to allow them full access to patriarchal power” and hence they continue to exhibit “a phallic misogynist masculinity [that is] rooted in contempt for the female.” This is the way I choose to read Diakanyo. In many of his writings, Diakanyo appears to challenges white supremacy and white capitalistic forces in South Africa and globally, and yet instances like these show us that he is not driven by an attachment to justice and overcoming global systems of oppression but a concern with having what white patriarchal men have in South Africa. This is not only in reference to economic power and material ownership, but also the full patriarchal dividend that will allow him full ownership and control of the female body.

Diakanyo’s remarks in South Africa are a part of larger societal project of patriarchal men who want to demonstrate their phallic power by waging war on the bodies of women and all that is “feminine”, which as hooks notes includes also gay men (and the larger LGBTIQA community). It is not a coincidence that Diakanyo chose the 16 Days to express his misinformed opinion on abortion, rape and the bodies of women. It is his way of derailing a conversation from discussing patriarchal male violence into one that not only blames women for exercising their constitutionally given right to bodily integrity and reproductive choice but one that places women’s bodies at the centre of the patriarchal male gaze.

So what should be the role of men during 16 Days? There are many well documented problems with the concept of 16 Days because many argue that it should be throughout the year and not just 16 days and I agree. However, this does not mean that I do not recognise its importance. I live in a country a country where a woman has more chances of being raped than learning to read, so if women get 16 Days in a year where they can tell their stories and activism without threat of violence our responsibility as men should be to listen. When we talk it should be to help elevate the voices and agency of women, and not derailing like Diakanyo.

I really think Diakanyo’s tweets are worth reporting to the South African human rights commission. In South Africa while freedom of expression is also a constitutional right too, this right is limited in that it should not be exercised in a manner that unjustifiably limits the rights of others. Diakanyo is limiting the rights of women by intentionally spreading incomplete information to limit women’s right to bodily integrity during a time when women are meant to enjoy freedom from patriarchal male body policing. It’s just unacceptable!

Gcobani is completing his Masters in Medical Anthropology through Rhodes University, Grahamstown, South Africa. His research centres around issues of risk, responsibility and vulnerability amongst Xhosa men (and women) in a rural town in South Africa living in the context of HIV/AIDS. Follow him on Twitter, @GcobaniQambela.

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Filed Under: correspondents, male perspective

10 Things I’m Grateful For

November 28, 2013 By HKearl

This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for so much – –

1. 8 SSH board members who give encouragement, ideas, and fundraising help

2. 20+ people who have volunteered time and talents to SSH over the year

3. 2 interns who are working hard on the upcoming Know Your Rights toolkit (release date: Dec. 10)

4. 30 blog correspondents who collectively wrote more than 100 articles this year.

5. 150 groups that took part in International Anti-Street Harassment Week in April.

6. 3 Safe Public Spaces Mentoring Site mentees who have held events in Afghanistan, Cameroon, and Chicago

7. 80+ donors to SSH

8. 100+ people who shared their street harassment story on the blog

9. 4 family members (mom, dad, sister, partner) who give never-ending support

10. 20,000 monthly blog readers!

Wishing you and yours a peaceful Thanksgiving (if you celebrate)

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“Nice dumper”

November 28, 2013 By Contributor

I was walking down the street with a few friends and a guy yelled at me, “Nice dumper!”

His two friends flanking him thought it was hilarious. I shot him a dirty look, but I was struck speechless by how crass it was. I wish I had said something to him, but at the time I thought that saying anything would feed into his attention-seeking and just result in more laughter and more demeaning language.

– E

Location: 44.231403,-76.481581 on google maps (76 Princess St, Kingston, ON)

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Sexual Harassment: A Tale of an Ongoing Epidemic

November 27, 2013 By Contributor

This is cross-posted with permission from Yomna’s Voice.

The more invested you become in something, the harder it becomes to write about it. You start typing and erasing, unimpressed as nothing seems to give the topic the justice it deserves. The topic in question is Sexual harassment in the streets of Egypt. I figured that I will not be able to give it the justice it deserves, but to give it something is better than to keep getting stuck in the unachievable-perfection-of writing rut.

You know you are approaching the edge of a cliff when a society starts to normalize an epidemic. False, sexual harassment should never be labeled as or compared to epidemics, for epidemics are often uncontrollable and stem out of micro-organisms that are beyond one’s control in the direct sense of the word. Sexual harassment, on the other hand, is one hundred percent controlled by human beings and their actions. I will not ignore the fact that sexual harassment is sometimes inflicted by women, on other women or men. But, for the sake of the here and now, I would like to focus on sexual harassment of females, I cannot say women for it is directed at ten year olds at times, on the hands of males.

Let me start by a friendly reminder that sexual harassment is not rape and solely rape. Any unwanted, derogatory and invasive sexual comment or touch is a form of sexual harassment, and for more detailed information on that, you can check any of the widely available dictionaries. When a female walks in the street and gets showered with unwanted commentary about her body or what she can be doing with it, this is sexual harassment! When street vendors “accidentally” brush their hands against little girls’ bodies, this is sexual harassment. When a soldier on duty whistles, moans and overtly touches himself when a female walks in front of him, it is sexual harassment indeed! These images are beyond prevalent that they have been normalized and accepted. It is now a female’s duty to avoid walking in the street and if she walks the streets of Cairo by choice, then she has brought it upon herself, she was asking for it.
Now, how about the majority of Egyptian women and girls who have to walk from one district to another for school and for work and for everyday kind of interactions? Well, you see, they must be dressed provocatively and their immodesty paired with excessive parading around that is causing males to sexually fantasize about them and verbalize it, or act upon it. And girls ought to be chaperoned by brothers and husbands, shouldn’t they be? And if you are old enough to have a fiancée or a husband but you don’t, then your morals are probably questionable and you are probably deserving of this harassment!
Newsflash number one, I do not know a single female who has never been sexually harassed in Egypt at any point in her life (generally, it is uncountable to tell you the truth). If you do not believe me or you find this astonishing, although it shouldn’t be, ask any female around you. So, in accepting the few premises lined up above you are accepting that your own family members are to blame and that they are either morally questionable, immodest in their attire or that they choose to be present in situations where sexual harassment might occur when they could avoid it. If you want to blame the victims, then rest assured that you will be blaming your own mothers, sisters, daughters, cousins and every other female that you know. Or perhaps we are facing a moral, I hate to use this word but, epidemic? Perhaps all Egyptian females are morally corrupt and the generations to come are doomed?
We are facing a moral crisis indeed, and a crisis of logical inferences to add to the list. We are facing the crisis of a nation that finds it acceptable to blame victims of sexual harassment for their offenders’ mistakes, lack of self-control and the love of exerting control and power stemming and growing from a knowledge that they are invincible and untouchable. And the vicious cycle keeps on going and growing! Once words and touches become normalized, it is ok to push the limits further and to try harder. Gradually, the touches are not stealthily anymore; they are seen, felt and dominating. Suddenly, buses are a space for crowding with females for sexual release. Suddenly, shoving a defenseless girl in a car to throw her at the corner of the next street when you are done is not far-fetched anymore. And suddenly, girls and women are responsible victims whose best bet are to pray that no one sees and walk away in silence shaking off the words and touches before anyone else notices.
And society is still nothing but silent, still defending the aggressor and putting the blame on the victim. Dare she seek help from forces of power, she will be dissuaded with a speech about honour and how she would be harming her reputation if she speaks up, if she is known and is no longer just another face in the uncountable pool of those sexually harassed. Think of your future, your potential future husband, they say. Do you want to ruin your future, they threaten. And somehow the responsibility is placed within her palms. And the worst you can do is to question or try to change things. In a moment of frustration, I once armed myself with my earphones and ipod and went for a walk, blocking hurtful words out while not giving up my right to use my feet and walk to the mall nearby. I sought well-lit streets for safety, ran my errand and did not have to hear penetrating words that often cut deeper than knives. I thought my day was a success until I got attacked by others for doing so, females too. How dare me try and change the “system”, why am I living in a dream and behaving like a teenager, I can’t change the society and the community I am in and I am only a visitor why do I care. And we wonder why sexual harassment is increasing and why is it that women are not getting the protection they deserve by right. And we wonder why Esraa Mohamed was attacked from behind with acids and attacked further for publicizing it and for being immodest.  And we wonder why sexual harassment has passed the line of discomfort and is now way into the zone of danger and safety.
We are facing a moral and an ethical epidemic! We are facing a collective lack of conscience. We are facing a deficiency and an inability to uphold justice on a personal as well as state level. We are facing a severe regression, not in women’s rights, no, but in human rights and laws. When a thief plans his robbery well in fear of being caught but a sexual aggressor boasts about his impulsive plans, don’t ever come and tell me that feminism is dead.
Yomna Khaled is a Canadian woman with a deep passion for women’s rights and the issue of sexual harassment who grew up in Egypt until she was 15 years old. Follow her work on her blog.
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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“I have a right to walk wherever I want”

November 27, 2013 By Contributor

I was walking to my aunt’s house from my college. I was a couple blocks away when two guys in a beat-up car were driving towards me. The driver waved while the guy in the passenger seat leaned out and screamed, “Hey cutie!” at me. I was all alone so I just ignored them and kept walking. I spent the remainder of my walk looking behind my shoulder whenever I heard a car coming because I was terrified they would circle back and harass me more.

The rest of my day was ruined because I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened and how scared I was. I felt really violated and angry because I have a right to walk wherever I want, whenever I want and not feel intimidated or scared, but those guys took that from me.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

For dealing with harassers, I guess I’d say do whatever you feel safe and comfortable doing. I ignored mine because I was alone and didn’t feel that I would be safe if I responded. I think there needs to be strict laws passed and greater community awareness about street harassment.

–  Anonymous

Location: Los Angeles, CA

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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