By: Allison Riley, SSH Correspondent

A male friend of mine posted this image on Tumblr—it’s a Game Boy Color device turned to the side. I responded and said that I take offense to this photo because of the phrase “that ass”. Whether or not we realize it consciously, placing this phrase on top of an object immediately makes us compare it to a woman; thus participating in objectification. One looks at the curved battery compartment of the Game Boy and instantly connects it to the curves of a woman’s hips. When people find images like this humorous, it shows that they are condoning behavior that is considered harassment whether they realize it or not.

A mutual friend of ours posted the following statuses on her Facebook the next day:

“To the stranger downtown: First of all, I’m not your “Honey”…Ew. Secondly, no I’m not going to holla at you just because you think I’m pretty.”

“To stranger #2 from downtown: WTF you have no right to sexually harass me with “I’d beat that” while looking me up and down. I’m a classy effing lady, not a dog meant for your sick amusement. #ugh #omgwhatisupwithtoday”

 I noticed that the male friend I mentioned “liked” both of these statuses. I also know that he takes pride in calling himself a “nice guy,” yet his Tumblr post contradicted that. So I decided to give him a call. I told him to take a second look at the Game Boy photo he posted and to imagine that our friend was in the photo instead. Then would it be funny if the caption was “that ass”?

He ended up deleting the photo by the end of that week.

Then the other night, I was conversing with another male friend about gender-neutral bathrooms. He asked me if I would feel comfortable showering next to a guy. I said no because he might harass me. He replied, “What about a lesbian woman? Would you feel comfortable showering with her?”

“I already have before,” I said.

“And you don’t mind if she’s checking you out?”

“Well I know for a fact that she’s not,” I said.

“What if you didn’t know she was lesbian? Are you automatically trusting her because she’s the same sex as you?”

Generally yes, I trust women in public spaces—but mainly because none of my experiences with them thus far have been harmful to me. Only my experiences with men have been harmful; hence we say street harassment is motivated by gender.

My friend proceeded to tell me about how he has been slapped on the butt and harassed by gay men before. He has also gotten harassed by women when out alone. “I’ve had girls come up to me and basically behave like a guy,” he said. He elaborated further and we agreed that behaving “like a guy” equates actions like slapping someone’s butt, catcalling, and other unwanted gestures.

Immediately I wondered, why doesn’t he share his experience? Why don’t more guys speak up about this topic? I asked him, and he said that he simply doesn’t feel like he can. Or if he does, it won’t do anything. In reality, we all know it’s quite the opposite. It does make a difference because it will educate other men.  Sharing experiences and opinions will add to the bits of information surfacing about street harassment and male socialization.

And if you ask me, true masculinity consists of taking on that positive, educational role.

When building male allies in fighting street harassment, it helps to find common ground. It helps put the seriousness of the topic into perspective. The guys with common sense will admit that they hate being harassed in public just as much as we do and hate to see us go through it.

I directed both of these guys to check out the Male Allies section of this website. On to the next!

Allison is a 2012 graduate of Metropolitan State University of Denver where she majored in Journalism with a minor in women’s studies. Follow Allison on Twitter at @a_wonderlandd.

By Sean Crosbie, SSH Correspondent

Street harassment often decreases a person’s willingness to go out or be seen in public spaces. I interviewed two friends about their experiences with catcalls, and their subsequent willingness to go out in public. The two friends had very different attitudes towards going out alone versus going out with others.  In order to protect the identities of the women, I have labeled each “Interviewee 1” and “Interviewee 2,” respectively.

Interviewee 1 was walking in a local nightlife area in Washington, D.C., waiting for her boyfriend when she was accosted by two men looking for their car. When she said she didn’t know where their car was, they kept engaging her, and one member of the pack attempted to hug her. Immediately following that incident, another man came up to her and asked her how she was doing. She didn’t say anything and he responded by yelling, “Don’t ignore me!”  Interviewee 1 told me: “…I was shaking and terrified…every man walking by had become a threat, and I felt trapped and alone since no passerby or police were available to protect me.”

This frightening encounter left her wary of going out in the neighborhood alone:

… After that experience, I have been leery of going out in Adams Morgan, especially alone. Previously, I had felt comfortable going to salsa there by myself (I’m friends with some regulars there), but since this incident, I’ve avoided heading to Adams Morgan by myself. Even when I’m walking with my boyfriend… I still feel like a target.

Interviewee 2 was sunbathing topless on a beach in Melbourne, Australia.  While topless bathing is legal in Australia, its practice is not widespread. She decided to wade in the water topless, but then put on a swimsuit top to lie on the beach. A man walked past and then went back to sit next to her. He began asking her questions like, “Do you have a boyfriend?” and, “Can I take you out for a drink tonight?” After ten minutes of inappropriate questions and Interviewee 2’s non-engaging responses, she got up and started walking away. She was not hindered by this uncomfortable experience:

… I refuse to let obnoxious people affect me in that way…I may be even more assertive. I may also start explaining to people that what they are doing is harassing me, so that they can be more educated.

Women should be able to be alone in public without being harassed or made to feel afraid or uncomfortable. Too many men interact with women inappropriately. In fact, Interviewee 2 described this guy on the beach as a creep who kept telling her she had a nice body. It’s unfortunate that some men see women in public as an invitation to make sexual comments or gestures, or to invade women’s personal space. Street harassment seems to be a common, yet unnerving, expression of masculinity and “ownership” of space.

And I will deal with that concept in a future post. The women I interviewed shared their thoughts with me about what should be done to combat and prevent street harassment. The culture needs to change, and it needs to change now. Women shouldn’t be made to feel like targets.

Sean has written for Stop Street Harassment since April 2011.  He is a library/research assistant at a labor union in Washington, D.C. and holds a Bachelor’s degree in economics from American University.