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15 Article Catch-Up: “Women are people, not objects”

July 24, 2012 By HKearl

"Fierce new graffiti in Zamalek | Cairo, Egypt | June 23, 2012" Photo taken by @mayaalleruzzo

I’m back in the USA after 10 days of international travel, and I’m playing catch-up. Part of my catch-up is reading through google alerts and combing twitter for street harassment news.

I’ve come across many compelling articles… here are excerpts from 15. And by the way, they’re all just from the past five days. Heartbreaking, huh.

First, please sign the petition: Stop Sexual Violence Against Women in Egypt!

* The Washington Post, “Street harassment: Time for women to talk back”

“What upsets me most is the look on a harasser’s face when he’s said something hurtful. When I look past his sexually aggressive stare and see a self-entitled sneer. This isn’t flirting. It is verbal abuse. They aren’t interested in me, or any of the women they taunt. They do this because they think they can. They believe that women are defenseless, and are amused by our embarrassment and disgust. Every time I shut one of them up, I take a bit of my power back.”

* Spark Summit, “I’m Not an Object, and Neither Are You”

“I’m not buying that street harassment is something that is a result of any particular country’s culture, nor that there are stereotypical womanizers who can be identified by their society of origin. Obviously I am also not buying the idea that I should be flattered by being whistled at by some creeper yelling at me across four lanes of speeding traffic. As a tribute to the man last Thursday who ran his hands through my hair when I was walking through a group of people and the guy this weekend who touched my face and made me cry, I think that this is a topic worth talking about. I want to let everyone know that I am not an object to be touched and whistled at in the street. I’m not an object at all. Women are people, not objects.”

* Open Democracy, “Street sexual harassment: breaking the silence in Yemen”

“Young women’s rights activists are using new media to give a voice to the 90% of Yemeni women who face street sexual harassment. Yet support for the campaign has been far from unanimous; it has come face to face with a new form of patriarchy in the media, says Ghaidaa al-Absi.”

* The Star, “Women always have to be alert to the threat of sexual assault”

“We are a relatively affluent, well-educated society with myriad social supports, annual Take Back the Night marches, and most everyone has access to newspapers and cable shows that reflect the general consensus that violence against women, especially sexual violence, is abhorrent. Who could possibly still be unclear about that? We don’t live in a war zone. Why were two women sexually assaulted near my home this month?

I can’t begin to imagine what rationales go through people’s minds when they choose to violate another human being. But talking to my friend on the ride home, we both learned something about sexual violence in Canada.

He, a progressive, worldly, compassionate man realized that I, a savvy, independent, self-assured woman, have to watch my back every night that I go out. Some situations call for more vigilance than others. Some days I may not even be conscious of my vigilance. I’m used to weighing my odds. But until that conversation, I don’t think it had occurred to him that I, like most women, weigh my odds all day, every day to one extent or another.

Until that night, I hadn’t realized how literally foreign that experience is to my straight, white, male friend.”

* Team AWOT, “Street Harassment FAQs: An Imaginary Conversation”

Lauren Bravo breaks down why street harassment isn’t a compliment. The ending:

“So, if in doubt…

Say nothing at all. Yep, ’fraid so. And I hate to break it to you, but nothing catastrophic is going to happen if you DON’T toot your horn at that girl in the sundress. Her day will carry on perfectly well without you shouting ‘Awright sexayyy’ out of the window. If anything it will probably be better.

Wouldn’t it be nice if one day we could just tell women we think they’re beautiful without them feeling scared or objectified or pissed off?

Yes. Yes it would.”

* Faerye.net, “The 5 Stages of Street Harassment”

1. Denial.
2. Fleeing.
3. Victim-blaming.
4. Stubbornness.
5. Blog fodder. Just another lovely reminder, folks! Patriarchy Makes Every Day Special!

* A year of living sensibly… “On silence”

“In reality, it happens no matter what I wear. It happens when I’m dressed up, when I’m out jogging, when I’m wearing jeans and trainers. It happens because it is not my choice.

For anyone who thinks it is just a bit of fun and that your freedom of speech is threatened, can you see how it controls me? Where is my freedom? To walk where I wish, to dress as I wish, to feel safe as I wish? How can those wishes threaten your freedoms?”

* Feministssa, “Street harassment – part of our daily life”

“In the past, I normally gave a fake telephone number to men who asked me for it -just to be polite. In an attempt to minimise the number of times I was harassed,I even became careful about how I dressed, I watched my conduct when I was in public and tried as much as possible to be inconspicuous. I have however realised that street harassment has got nothing to do with how women look or behave when they are in public.  Street harassment has got everything to do with a society that endorses men to validate the appearance and conduct of women. I have therefore learned to stand up for myself and tell men who harass me to stop it.”

* Week Woman, “The Threat Of Rape – Why Tosh and Sarkeesian’s Trolls Mustn’t Silence Women”

“But what those who defend the right for men to publicly treat women as sex-objects in the street forget, is that women don’t just live with lewd comments, which can perhaps be shrugged off, they live with the real threat of sexual violence. Every day. And sometimes it really is hard to tell the difference between the two.”

* Miss Worded, “TW Street Harassment: An arm out a window still scares me 24 hours later”

“If you want to give me a compliment, stay the fuck away from me.  Give me the compliment of my autonomy and respect my desire to walk down the street unharassed.  Work hard to change YOUR behavior even harder than the way I have to try and train myself to run and not freeze in fear.  Anything else is your contribution to a culture of harassment.”

* NancyM, “It feels like this is how it’s always going to be”

“Living for the past fifteen years in a country where sexual harassment is such a rampant problem that a rally for women’s rights was attacked by men, I had somehow come to assume that this daily harassment was something peculiar to the city I called home. I thought that these little day-to-day assaults – that aren’t really little at all but we learn to brush them off, just so we can actually step out into the street again – were products of culture, or poverty, or anything that simply didn’t exist in cities like Washington DC. It’s these small attacks, that chip away at the feeling that you deserve to be treated any better than this, that I didn’t expect to find here. I couldn’t have been more naive.

Gorman reminded me that walking while female in Egypt is the same as walking while female anywhere in the world – it means that, at any moment, you could find yourself on the receiving end of unwanted attention.”

* Cis white female, “On street harassment: if I wanted you to touch me, you’d know about it”

“I am following the example of many other feminists who have decided to record incidents of sexual harassment in order to raise awareness of the issue and to prove that it does happen often and in a range of circumstances. I’d encourage others to do the same; hopefully by doing this we can encourage people to talk about it when they do encounter unpleasant behaviour rather than feeling ashamed, and to prove to skeptics that this is a real and ever-present problem. Hopefully, this kind of attitude can go some way to tackling the myth that sexual harassment only happens to certain people and in certain circumstances, or that it only happens to people who invite it in some way. I’m certainly not willing to take any share of the blame when some douchebag decides he’s going to touch me without my permission; because if I wanted you to touch me, believe me, you’d know about it.”

* For Harriet, “Summertime, Sundresses and Street Harassment”

“I love and hate sundress season all at the same time. I love being comfortable in the summer, wearing pretty dresses, and showing off my curves. I don’t like being harassed because I don’t respond to a man’s advances in the manner he wished I would.

I have heard men say ‘If you don’t want that kind of attention, don’t wear what you’re wearing.’ I’m not a fan of that logic. Since when does our choice of clothing give men the permission to harass a woman?”

* Fem2.0, “Feeling Safer on The Metro – WMATA’s Anti-Sexual Harassment Campaign”

“DC’s ad-campaign is modeled after Boston’s MBTA’s award-winning anti-sexual harassment reporting and awareness efforts. It also joins other public transportation operators in U.S. cities including New York City Transit and the Chicago Transit Authority who have sought to acknowledge and tackle this issue by issuing PSAs. Some cities, such as New Delhi, India where I grew up wary and discouraged to use public transportation because I was female, have tackled the issue of rampant sexual-harassment on their metro system by providing women-only train cars. It’s an idea that is practical given the harsh realities of Delhi’s female-unfriendly culture, yet flawed in theory because it doesn’t serve as a deterrent to gender-based sexual harassment.”

* ABC 7, “Walking While Female: D.C. woman’s sexual assault blog post goes viral”

“A D.C. woman who was sexually assaulted in Dupont Circle last week spoke out in a blog post that went viral…Liz Gorman, 25, says hundreds of women have contacted her, many sharing their own stories. ‘You should feel comfortable talking about this, going to the authorities, shining more of a light on this.'”

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Filed Under: News stories

“How do you think you look”

July 24, 2012 By Contributor

I was walking home from the tube today, a street away from my house. Summer’s finally arrived in Britain, and I was wearing, for the first time in months, a T-shirt outdoors. Either this fact or that I have half sleeve tattoos was reason enough for the two huge guys walking on the opposite side of the street to start shouting aggressively at me across the street.

This was one of those rare occasions when I wasn’t mad at myself for not saying something in retaliation: I kept walking, headphones in, pretending I hadn’t even noticed them. Because really, how do you think you look as two large men shouting at the tops of your voices at a tiny girl across the street?

– Jen

Location: Turnpike Lane, London

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Toronto Man Says: To prevent sexual assault, Toronto should legislate women’s clothes

July 23, 2012 By HKearl

In response to several recent sexual assaults at York University in Toronto, Canada, Al-Haashim Kamena Atangana, a 33-year-old Islamic convert and street cleric, says the answer is to legislate women’s clothes.

Via the Toronto Sun:

“You should take your example from the way Muslim women dress,” he wrote. “Why does (sic) Muslim women who wear long dress and covers her head aren’t targeted for sex attacks?…If (women) want to prevent being sexually assaulted, they should cover themselves,” said Atangana, adding that while he doesn’t expect Western women to dress as Muslim women do, they should have a “dress code” and take note of the burka the head scarf and face veil some Muslim females wear.”

He suggests that “Toronto (become) the first city in North America to introduce laws that would make it illegal for women to dress provocatively.”

Thankfully, the Toronto Sun quotes intelligent people who poke holes right through his assertions and suggestions.

Readers of this blog know the drill: street harassment and sexual assault doesn’t happen because of what we wear, they happen because the perpetrators are abusing their power and acting disrespectfully. I just visited Egypt and I saw first-hand that it’s not about what women wear. In public places in Egypt, most women are veiled and every woman is very modestly dressed (I got to wear pants and long sleeve shirts in 110 degree weather), yet every single woman has a harassment story.

After reading this story, yet another one about a man in Toronto blaming women for men’s harassment and assault, I’ve got to ask, what is up with men in Toronto?

* In January 2011, a representative of the Toronto Police stated, “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.” This led to Slutwalk Toronto and countless SlutWalks around the world.

* In October 2011, after school officials reported a man who was harassing girls on the way to school, police advised them to tell their female students to only change into their school uniform once they arrived at school.

* In February 2012, a woman reported harassers in her neighborhood and the police told her to grow a thicker skin.

* In March 2012, the Toronto Globe & Mail newspaper published a horrid piece by an older man who wrote on and on about how great and acceptable it is to leer and objectify young women in public places.

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: sexual assault, street harassment, toronto

“Respect me and other women.”

July 23, 2012 By Contributor

Street Sense Harasser

I was leaving work, and there was a Street Sense newspaper seller standing at McPherson Square Station. As I pass, I hear him say, “Hey, Boo-Boo, how are you?” I turn around, and he’s looking at me.

“My name is not Boo-Boo,” I said. “If you want to address me, it’s Miss or Ma’am. Show me some respect.”

“Man, I wasn’t talking to you!” he said. Sure he wasn’t.

“I don’t care,” I said. “You need to show respect to women.”

“I ain’t say nothing to you!” he said. “Get on, I ain’t say nothing to you!”

“But when you disrespect women around me, it becomes my problem,” I said. “Show some respect.”

He kept denying saying anything to me and kept telling me to go away, and that he didn’t need to do “shit.”

“If you want to sell those damn papers, you need to respect me and other women,” I said. I was a broken record. Respect me and other women.

He kept talking junk, and when seconds before the light changed I pulled out my cell phone (I had my camera on me which would’ve gotten a better shot, but he would’ve known what was coming if I pulled that out) and took his photo. He acted like he wanted to cover his face with a paper, but my cell phone got the shot when he was pointing at me, seconds before he attempted to hide his face.

There are good people who sell Street Sense papers who are professional and respectful and I support them and buy their papers, but I’ve encountered too many guys like this who are unprofessional, rude, and very sexist when it comes towards their interactions with women. I will be contacting Street Sense first thing tomorrow morning. They really need to train their salespeople better because this is beyond ridiculous.

– Anonymous

Location: McPherson Square Metro Station (14th Street N.W. & I Street N.W.), Washington, DC

Date & Time: 7/19/12, 5:05 PM

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
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“I felt like prey.”

July 22, 2012 By Contributor

I was boarding the train with my bike, and I accidentally turned to the car in the very back. When I entered, I felt weird, and I couldn’t pinpoint why; suddenly, I saw a man get up, stand in the aisle, stare me right in the eye and start rubbing his crotch. I like to think of myself as someone who doesn’t get scared easily, but the way he looked at me made me feel like he was legitimately about to attack me, even though there were people in the cart nearby. I felt like prey.

I clumsily stumbled away from him and into the next car. I saw him sit down close to the window, so I went off to the other side of the train. I’m relieved that nothing happened, and there’s a part of me that feels like I’m overreacting, but rape is one of my biggest fears, and today, I think I met a potential rapist. I don’t know how to report the incident, so I’m posting it here.

– Anonymous

Location: Caltrain, California, USA

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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