Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“I like the way you walk”

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I was 14, and at the movie theater with my friends to see School of Rock for the third time that summer. Passing the concession stand I heard someone going, “Hey! hey!” toward me, and I turned to see a tall, slender man with a mole on his face and realized he was talking to me. When he had my attention he said, “I like the way you walk” in a really suggestive manner. Unfortunately he was the only one working so I was stuck buying from him. I vaguely remember him winking at one point.

Did I mention I was fourteen frickin years old? He wasn’t my age, I’m not even sure he was a young man, he seemed like he was in his 30s or 40s. I was extremely creeped out. I should have complained.

– Anonymous

Location: Dedham, MA

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“The gaze of the man still haunts me”

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This happened to me recently. Memories of that episode still covers me with chills and shivers when I think of it.

It was the night of Holi, I was at a friend’s for a party. I ended up staying in late, and it got nearly 8.30 P.M. when I finally walked out. As I walked, I found the roads and streets were mostly deserted except for a few buses and private vehicles rushing ahead. I started walking towards the bridge auto-stand, only to find it empty. No sign of any auto around. I got worried because it was getting late, and mom would get mad at me for staying out so late on a holiday night.

I started walking ahead, when I noticed a man standing a few feet away, smoking . I thought nothing of it. As I went closer, he turned around and looked at me. There was something in his eye that disconcerted me. When I was beside him, he leaned in and took a “closer look.” I was a trifle weird-ed out, but kept walking anyway. I’d just gone a few steps when I realized he was following me. I ignored it and increased my speed. At a point he stopped a few steps behind me. I was getting creeped out for some reason. I hurried to a corner of the street where I saw three-four people waiting for the bus. I decided to take a bus and get the hell out of there, instead of waiting for an auto. A little later, a bus turned up. As I went near it, the man appeared beside me, as if magically. As I waited for some of the people to get out of the crowded bus, I noticed him staring at me. It was a fixed, cold, stare. I can’t describe it…it almost seemed he was putting me under a X-ray.

I got up the bus, and prayed for it to drive away soon. People were still coming in, but the man stood right there, his gaze fixated on me. I was feeling chills by this time. Finally, the bus took off. Then, something happened which made my heart skip a beat. After the people had all finished climbing aboard and there was absolutely NO SPACE left on the bus, the moment it started moving, that man, took catch of a handle and CALMLY latched onto the bus. I was startled. I was certain that he had boarded it for me. I could tell from the way he STILL kept gazing at me with that cold, conspiratorial look. The bus stopped at two places on the way, that man got off at both stops, and climbed back in when it started moving. It seemed…not right.

I was perspiring by this time. I prayed silently that the stop where I’d be getting off not be deserted. Please…I fervently started asking some of the people on bus if they’d be getting off at my Stop. Then my stop came, and I was SUPER-RELIEVED to see it was still lighted with few people around. I got down, and, without glancing behind, walked straight to the Rickshaw stand. I almost jumped on a rickshaw, mentioned my Housing Society, and asked the puller to drive away FAST. Through the corner of my eye, I could see the man standing a few feet away, still staring at me and muttering something. I knew he couldn’t follow me anymore.

I was still shivering and my teeth borderline chattering, by the time I reached home. The gaze of the man still haunts me. Ouch. From that day on, I’ve vowed to steer clear of staying out late on Public Holidays.

– Ananya

Location: Kolkata, India

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
Find suggestions for what YOU can do about this human rights issue.

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Gay & Bisexual Men: Take Survey for Master’s Thesis

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Most of the work Stop Street Harassment does focuses on the street harassment women (both trans and cis) face, but some men, especially men in the LGBQT community, face it too.

Patrick McNeil is surveying gay and bisexual men about street harassment for his master’s thesis and he’s looking for respondents from anywhere who are 18 years or older. If this applies to you, please take the 15-20 minute survey, and even if it doesn’t apply to you, please share it.

This is a very under-researched topic and your help is greatly appreciated.

Patrick will speak about his preliminary research during an Anti-Street Harassment Week event in Washington, DC, that’s free and open to the public on Wednesday, March 21. Please RSVP if you can attend. In the video below, he shares how he became involved in the topic.

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Turning stories into art

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Yesterday I spoke to a high school class of juniors in Virginia, near where I live. I feel pretty safe and un-harassed most of the time and I was devastated to hear the stories of the girls in the class.

“When I was in sixth grade, I had to walk a long way home from the bus stop. A few times, men followed me. I ran to a store so they wouldn’t know where I lived,” one girls shared. As soon as she shared her story, the room flooded with tales from other girls: the sexual remarks shouted at them from cars; the man who made “humping” motions against a girl on a public bus; the “creepy men” following them in stores; the men masturbating in front of them at public swimming pools; the man who told a girl who fell off her bike to “get in the car.”

For many of the girls, this was the first time talking about these experiences. For all, it was the first time doing so in front of male classmates. The girls spoke about it in a matter-of-fact way, as part of their life. The boys were stunned by what they heard; several commented on how much their awareness was raised.

Sharing stories to raise awareness is what the upcoming International Anti-Street Harassment Week is all about. Street harassment can only begin to be curbed after more people are aware, first, that it happens; second, that it happens a lot; third, that it happens to most women and girls and many men in the LGBQT community; and fourth, that when it happens, it has a negative impact on the harassed people’s lives.

Both the male and female students in the class created artwork at the end, to be displayed at an art exhibit I’m co-curating with the Deaf Abused Women’s Network at MOCA DC on March 18, 3-9 p.m. in Washington, DC.

Artwork by the student who was followed in 6th grade

Read my Ms. Magazine blog post to learn more about what’s going on worldwide and how you can get involved. Help break the silence. Share your story. Listen to a story. Participate.

 

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It’s time to speak out and be heard

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“A man threw a glass bottle toward my student’s head last week, after she ignored his cat calls near Lehigh and Broad [in Philadelphia, PA]. As a result, her father has discouraged her from attending our after-school program, because she has to walk to and from the train alone.”

Nuala Cabral, one of the co-organizers of International Anti-Street Harassment Week (March 18-24), posted this on Facebook recently. This upsetting story illustrates the negative outcome gender-based street harassment has on the people who experience it and why it must end!!

It is a mere four days until the beginning of International Anti-Street Harassment Week and there is still plenty of time for YOU to get involved. Speak out and be heard on this human rights issue. Join the more than 100 groups from 18 countries and the thousands of individuals world-wide who plan to speak out online and in person and bring attention to the fact that street harassment happens, it negatively impacts our lives, and it needs to end.

GET INVOLVED:

* Visit the map to find information about planned action for March 18-24, 2012. If you’re an organizer, PLEASE  add your planned action to our map so others can find it.

* Join the Facebook page for updates.

If you don’t see anything planned in your area (and more events are being added every day, so do check back), have no fear. There are many ways for you to be involved as one person or with a few friends.

3 Ideas for Personal Level Participation:

1. Talk about street harassment with friends/family/coworkers/classmates/neighbors. Share your stories with them. Make visible what’s been invisible.

2. Raise awareness online.

* Change your Facebook profile picture to be the Anti-Street Harassment Week logo (see example on the right, or visit the tools page to access logos in 13 languages)

* Write and post a street harassment story on a blog, Tumblr, twitter, or Facebook.

* Tweet about street harassment using #EndSHWeek. Join the #SheParty chat on March 21 at 3 p.m. EDT to tweet about street harassment. It’s organized by the Women’s Media Center.

* Take a photo of the clothes you were wearing when you were harassed and send it to www.gotstared.at

* Write an article, op-ed, or blog post about street harassment. [Idea Guide + special offer from the Op-Ed Project]

3. Put up posters, hand out fliers, or use sidewalk chalk to spread anti-street harassment messages. Here are ideas for messages for signs and a fact sheet with statistics.  Here are fliers you can print and pass out. 1 | 2 Find posters near the bottom of the  Tools page. Last year, many groups of just 2-3 people did this successfully. No matter the size of your group, you can make a difference.

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