Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Thanks, Dad

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Since the day I told my dad that the topic of my master’s thesis would be gender-based street harassment, he has been incredibly supportive of my work. He read and gave feedback on numerous versions of my thesis. Then he and my mom encouraged me to write a book. When I got sidetracked at times on other street harassment projects, he kept pushing me to focus on the goal of getting a book published. When I got a book contract and wrote the book, my dad read numerous drafts of chapters and gave feedback as I wrote and revised. In the days leading up to my due date, he hand wrote edits on nearly every single page of my manuscript, then scanned and emailed them back to me. The morning my manuscript was due, he was still editing, scanning, and sending me pages to help make it as strong as possible. He continues to offer encouragement as I blog and write articles about street harassment. In fact, earlier this evening, I sent out the draft of a new article to a few people for feedback. My dad was the first one to respond.

I am incredibly lucky to have two parents who encourage me, push me, and are proud of me. Given the subject matter of the work I do, I feel particularly lucky to have such a great male ally in my dad – many men do not care or understand why street harassment upsets women, but he gets it and wants to see the problem end.

So thanks, dad, for everything you’ve done and continue to do to support my street harassment work. Happy Father’s Day!

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90% of Bangladeshi girls ages 10-18 experience sexual harassment

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Via Hindustan Times

“According to the Bangladesh National Women Lawyers Association, almost 90 percent of girls aged 10-18 years are victims of sexual harassment.

The perpetrators range from college students and unemployed youth to street vendors, rickshaw pullers, bus drivers, fellow passengers, colleagues and supervisors.

‘Sexual terrorism thrives on patriarchal attitudes, prejudices, cultural norms, double standards and discriminatory laws that devalue women and deny them their rights. Eradicating it will require transformative social change.'”

Nearly 90 percent of girls starting at age 10 are harassed in public?!?! That is so terrible!!

The article describes many cases where the family members of girls being harassed took matters into their own hands by snatching the harasser or his father and turning him over to the police and even burning a harassers’ home. With 90 percent of young girls being harassed, it’s no wonder people are upset enough to do so! What’s a 10 year old supposed to do against teenagers or grown men harassing her? Outrageous bullying on the men’s part.

The article also notes something I was unaware of – the Bangladeshi government is led by several women and it is because of them that the government declared last Sunday Eve Teasing Protection Day.

“The resolve to raise public awareness comes from the presence of several women in public life. ‘In a country where the prime minister (Sheikh Hasina), foreign minister (Dipu Moni), home minister (Sajeda Khatun), agriculture minister (Motia Chowdhury) and the leader of the opposition (Begum Khaleda Zia) are female, women and girls cannot walk on the streets, use public transport, or go to school, shops, parks or other public places without often being ogled, taunted, harassed, humiliated, sexually molested, groped and assaulted – and in some cases, attacked with acid, abducted and raped.'”

Yay for women leaders.

Given the close proximity of Bangladesh is to India and the overlaps of culture, I wonder if programs similar to those going on in India to educate young boys about gender issues and healthy definitions of masculinity could be useful in curbing the problem of eve teasing in Bangladesh, too.

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“If you don’t want a bad reaction from a woman, don’t follow strangers!”

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Yesterday I was walking down my street heading home, and right outside my apartment I passed by two guys in their twenties heading towards me. A couple of seconds after we had passed each other one of them yelled to me, “Put a smile on your face!”

I was caught off guard and I turned around to see his inane grin. I’m afraid I only replied in a meek and confused tone, “I don’t know you…don’t tell me what to do.”

This made me furious because for a week I had been anxious about my boyfriend and I splitting up. We were due to have a serious chat tonight. So a lot of things were on my mind. I don’t have to explain why a stranger telling me to smile ticked me off.

But LATER that night I was heading to the store for groceries when I passed a neighbor (who has never struck me as particularly friendly – more thuggish) in a wheelchair lounging with a group of friends on the sidewalk outside his apartment. As I approached, his friends signalled to him and he turned around and breathed “Hi, Baby” as I walked past. I gave a disgusted look but marched on. He continued with, “I said Hi… What the fuck.”

At this point I was really sick and tired of it. Why do these incidents occur more often when you are in a vulnerable emotional and mental state?

Well, it wasn’t over. Tonight I was on my WAY to the dreaded conversation with boyfriend and was walking out of the subway train on the platform towards the exit, deep in thought. Suddenly a voice very close over my shoulder says “Hi, How are you?” Startled, I stopped and turned around and saw a guy in his twenties in a dress shirt and suit pants, looking at me EXTREMELY INTENTLY. As I stared at him in evident confusion he defended himself with “Just saying “hi”. I said, alright, and backed up past him and exited through the nearest turnstile, picking up my pace. Ahead of me was an escalator and a row of two or three staircases. I picked the stairs on the far right because I didn’t look forward to having this character follow me or stand behind me on the escalator.

When I was almost at the top I heard a voice right behind me: “I want to talk to you”. It was him AGAIN! I shook my head and said, in a not friendly tone, “Maybe I don’t WANT to talk.”

I reach the outside of the station, and he’s right behind me, saying with much resentment: “Maybe you have a bad attitude.” I turn right and start heading in the direction of my meeting place. I turn around and, raising my voice, say “Maybe you’re a CREEP.” He starts responding, equally loudly, with an expletive here and there, but I’m no longer listening but walking away in a rage. I turn around and scream finally: “GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU FUCKING CREEP!” As I walk on, I hear that he has called after me one more time, so I give him the finger as a final parting gift.

When I find my bf, I tell him I need to take ten, because my Zen-like state which I found so necessary to have a calm conversation with the person I love about going our separate ways, had been ruined.

This was the first time I had responded this way to street harassment. And it didn’t make me feel immediately better, because I was pondering – did I overreact? Was it even effective in showing this guy that women have a right to be left alone in public? Should I have kept my voice calm and instead informed him that he should leave me alone, before freaking out like I did?

But posting here has been cathartic. NO. I did NOT overreact. Maybe I’m a crazy bitch. more likely, I’m having a bad day. Either way you do NOT know me and if you don’t want a bad reaction from a woman, DON’T FOLLOW STRANGERS!

– anonymous

Location: Bowling Green, NY

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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“STOP STARING AT ME”

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Every morning on my way to work, I ride the same bus. I have been riding this bus for 3 years. A couple of months ago, I started noticing that this middle-aged white male in business suit attire would stare at me continually for the duration of the bus ride. He sits sideways in his seat so that he can swivel his head 180 degrees and see me no matter where I sit on the bus – in front of him, behind him, to the side; it doesn’t matter where I sit because he’ll adjust his posture to find me. His constant leering makes me incredibly uncomfortable and ruins my morning commute.

In the beginning, I stared back, hoping to make him uncomfortable. One time I mouthed the word, “NO,” and shook my head at him. These passive attempts have had no effect and he continues to ogle me.

Yesterday, I was waiting for my bus to return home and all of a sudden this same man was standing next to me. I had my hands full of two heavy grocery bags and felt completely defenseless. I started to feel scared that he was beginning to stalk me. He knows what stop I get off/on the bus. What’s to stop him from following me home one afternoon?

Today I was close to standing up from my seat on the bus and saying something to him. I want to say, “Stop staring at me,” loudly so that everyone on the bus can hear me. I think that the more people who witness assertive actions against harassment the better because the peer effect is incredibly strong. Another option I’ve considered is simply writing or typing out “STOP STARING AT ME” on a piece of paper and giving it to him.

This is by far the worst “street” harassment I’ve experienced in my 13 years riding public transportation. I would say that I experience harassment from men on a daily basis while out on the street/at work/shopping, etc., but never to this extreme on a bus.

I consider myself to be a very tough person and am used to living in an urban environment where one has to constantly deflect “attacks,” but I didn’t realize how damaging mere leering could be. When I was in Chicago this past weekend, I saw advertisements on the CTA which read: “If it’s unwanted, it’s harassment. Touching. Rude Comments. Leering. Speak up. If you see something, say something.” After reading that, I realized that I didn’t even know that this kind of harassment was something I didn’t HAVE to endure. I just accepted it as life.

Minneapolis public transit NEEDS these advertisements on its buses and trains. The more people who are exposed to these sorts of messages, the more likely it is that this kind of harassment will cease. I find it sad that we need to tell men how to behave in 2010. Our society is going backwards.

– anonymous

Location: Minneapolis, MN

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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“No black woman can walk down the street without getting harassed here”

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I have lots of experiences that constitute street harassment. I have to use public transportation, and all the bus stops available for me to use are good walks away from where I live, so I have to deal with being honked at as I walked down the street. This is a daily expectation. I will occasionally have some asshole yell at me from their cars.

There’s this one guy, I don’t know if he lives in the driveway I always find him in or not, but he’s taken to saying hello to me and I say hello back and then he tries to hit on me (asks me “Where your boyfriend at?”). The first time this happened and he asked me that question, I just immediately shut down communication and kept walking. The only reason it happened a second time is because as soon as I said hello, I realized that it was the same guy who bothered me the last time. I don’t know what he said to me after I said hello the second time, but I imagined it was similar to what happened the first time. This has only happened twice, but I’m scared this will happen every time I see this guy.

One of the most prolific harassment experiences I’ve ever had is a bit surprising because of the location it happened in. I currently live in Southeast Atlanta where it seems that harassing women on the street is a part of the culture down here, you know, no black woman can walk down the street without getting harassed here. We’re suppose to expect it down here. But this particular incident happened while I lived in the more affluent northern part of the city, where Buckhead and Sandy Springs are, and happened in an area where I didn’t have to expect harassment daily.

I was coming back home from a morning walk when this car actually pulled up beside me on the side walk, slowed down and rolled down the window and everything, and the guy in the car (I didn’t see him because I didn’t actually stop while this was happening) started trying to proposition me to do whatever with him or to talk to him or something. I was so scared and embarrassed that I just kept walking and never actually heard what he was asking. This was a car that had actually slowed down while I was walking back home before, but the person inside had never actually stopped and tried talking to me before.

I consider myself a sex positive person and sexually enlightened and all of that jazz, but when stuff like this happens it never ceases to be annoying and embarrassing. It’s one thing to be on the receiving end of sexualized attention that you actually want. But a completely different experience to be on the end of sexualized attention that you aren’t asking for or wanting. They’re not nearly the same thing or the same experience — sex is being used in one, abused in the other.

– Jaleesa

Location: Atlanta, GA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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