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A Jewish woman’s stories (part 3 of 3)

June 17, 2010 By Contributor

I have had 3 unpleasant incidences of street harassment, and this was the latest and worst [read incidents 1 and 2].

I live in New Jersey and my boyfriend lives in Manhattan, and we only see each other on the weekends. We therefore try to squeeze in as much time together as possible, which frequently results in me waiting in Penn Station for a train late at night.

On this particular night, I was waiting at midnight on the top of the steps leading from a busy corridor into the NJ Transit concourse. I saw a black man in a black winter hat walking through the concourse below me, holding an open pack of Newport cigarettes. He got to me and offered me one. I turned him down. He then offered me a new MetroCard, still wrapped. Nonplussed, I told him that I already had one. He made some comment about my jeans which I didn’t catch, then tried to put his arm around my back, (a move which I can’t stand thanks to my first encounter with street harassment,) and I flinched away. He commented on it, and added, “You’re not PREJUDICED or anything, right? It’s not because I’m BLACK, is it?”

I replied, “No, I’m not prejudiced. I just really don’t like strangers touching me.”

He then got me to exchange names and shake hands (he’d made me feel like I had to prove that I wasn’t racist), held my hand too long, and said, “Your hand is cold.” I said, “I just came in from outside!” He then held my hand a second longer, let go, said, “Have a good night, baby,” and disappeared.

I felt hideously violated, even though all he’d done was touch my back and make comments. I felt like he hadn’t done anything that the police would act on, plus I wasn’t sure where the nearest police booth was, so I didn’t report it.

However, I started having massive anxiety attacks at the thought of being in Penn Station after 9 PM, which resulted in my spending an extra night with my boyfriend several times. It was weeks before I managed to face my fear and go back to my normal routine, and then it was only with the help of my boyfriend accompanying me to the station that I did so. I had the worst anxiety attack I’ve had in years the night my boyfriend accompanied me from his apartment at 10 PM, but I am now back to my regular routine. However, I now carry pepper spray, and I know the locations of the police booths around the NJ Transit area. (Ironically, I was only yards away from one, though that booth is not always occupied.)

I am furious – no man should ever have the power to make a woman afraid to do *anything!*

– HD

Location: Penn Station, NYC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: NYC, penn station, public transportation, street harassment, transit, verbal harassment

Women in the Maldives face street harassment

June 17, 2010 By HKearl

“At midnight Rachael, 25, returned from a friend’s place. Glancing around to make sure she was not being followed, she climbed the stairs to her seventh-floor apartment.

When she’d first arrived from the UK several months ago to work on a government project, she had smiled and replied to the greetings thrown her way on the street. She stopped doing it when the men started following her.”

This is from an article in the Minivan News about the high rates of street harassment that women, especially foreign women, face in the Maldives (the smallest Asian country that is comprised of 1,200 island in the Indian Ocean. The local population is 300,000 and the annual visitor population is 600,000). The harassment is usually verbal and vulgar, no matter how covered up the women are when they are in public. There are also many cases of groping and stalking.

For foreign women working there, harassment is usually a daily occurrence. The native women interviewed said they are not usually harassed as often and rarely is it physical. One woman mused that “physical harassment directed at local women has lessened ‘as guys know that we will scream, and slap them and embarrass them if they try anything.'” Interesting, if true.

The police officers interviewed for the article said that there are very few reported cases of harassment or assault in public by women and they urged women to report it if the are harassed. Depending on what the person has done, they can prepare a case under the public nuisance laws and send it to the Prosecutor General’s office.  In the article, the good news is that two of the foreign women interviewed called the police and said the police were wonderful and took their complaints seriously.

So even though I had to look up the Maldives to see where it’s located (time to brush up on my geography!), I am unsurprised that street harassment is rampant there. I find it interesting how two-thirds of the populations is comprised of visitors and I wonder how that contributes to foreign women being harassed more than local women.

Anyway, obviously this is a global problem and it must end!

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Filed Under: News stories, street harassment Tagged With: foreign women harassed, groping, Maldives islands, sexual harassment, the Maldives

A Jewish woman’s stories (part 2 of 3)

June 17, 2010 By Contributor

I am a religious Jew, and I have had three unpleasant incidences of street harassment. This is the second and the most bizarre one [here’s the first one].

I was sitting on the downtown 1, desperately hoping that it would get me to Penn Station in time to catch my train. I was dressed in a t-shirt and a long skirt that made it easy to pick me out as a religious Jew. A 40-ish ultra-Orthodox guy with a long beard got on the train, picked me out as a “member of the tribe,” and insisted that we converse only in Hebrew. That was weird, but whatever, I’ve had interesting Hebrew conversations with friendly strangers on mass transit before.

It’s a little hard to translate, but this is the gist. He started off by asking me if I knew of a women’s seminary in the area, especially one that did singles’ events. I wasn’t sure. He asked if I could suggest any particular religious woman, age 30-50. I couldn’t. We established that I was 22, and I gave him my Hebrew name, not my English one.

Then he kept going on about how he wasn’t trying to “start up with me,” (connotation: flirt with me,) that he was a sensitive soul looking for a good woman, it wasn’t about lust (pointing at his crotch), not like those young guys who go pick up women at (gasp!) the beach! Then he kept saying, “I have something to say to you. Do you have time?” I kept answering, “So say it. I’m stuck on this train for now.” Based on the rest of what he was saying, I think what he meant was that he wanted to _speak with me_, but he was using the wrong words. (Remember, this conversation was all in Hebrew.) In any case it was clear that he wanted me to leave the train with him and go chat under a light in the park or something. Not happening! At various points in the conversation, he got very offended and angry, to the point that he was scaring me.

I nearly missed my stop as he protested, “But I’m a sensitive soul! I’m religious! How could you suspect me?!” To my horror he too got out at Penn Station. I ran as fast as I could through the LIRR concourse up to the NJ Transit concourse and my train, and either I lost him or he was going elsewhere.

Had he followed me into the station I would’ve reported him, but since he didn’t, I didn’t think there was anything I could do about him. I was just thoroughly creeped out.

– HD

Location: New York City subway

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: Hebrew harasser, Jewish woman, new york city transit, sexual harassment, street harassment

Three organizations that care about women’s safety in public

June 16, 2010 By HKearl

In light of my recent post about if “the left” cares that women aren’t safe in public, which is rather a downer piece, I want to do an upper piece and point out three organizations that do care. I applaud them for taking this issue seriously.

1. United Nations: Through UNIFEM the UN has a comprehensive Safe Cities project. The initiative started in Peru and Argentina and has spread to other countries, such as India.

“Harassment and abuse of women and girls in public spaces is a rampant yet largely neglected issue. This module provides guidance on how to create safe cities and communities for women and girls to live a life free of violence drawing on the knowledge of experts and on existing programmes that work.  This advance version, walks you through essential programming elements, giving step-by-step guidance for implementation with illustrative case studies and links to tools and other resources.”

Printed out, it’s over 200 pages. I’m in the midst of reading through it and I’m impressed by its scope and am SO glad that an organization with the caliber of the UN is addressing this issue.

2. Government of Wales: Recently they launched a “One Step Too Far” Campaign that illustrates the slippery slope between harmless interactions and harassment in public places.

“The campaign asks individuals to re-assess the impacts of their own behaviour and that of their peers. The absolute cut-off between harmless and abusive is subject to debate, and depends on the context and on the individuals concerned. One thing is not open for debate however, and that is that any behaviour that degrades, humiliates or frightens a woman is unacceptable.

Gender discrimination stems from a man’s perceived sense of entitlement. It’s this attitude that gives him the green light to direct derogatory and unfair behaviour towards women. By accepting this behaviour- either as a woman or a man- we propagate this attitude in society as a whole.

If it’s ok to express these attitudes, then it’s ok to express these behaviours, right? And if it’s ok to express these behaviours, then where’s the harm in pushing it a bit further, right? Sexism falls within a continuum of harm, a slippery slope of ever-worsening behaviours that moves women further and further from where they’re entitled to be.

Physical violence towards women, sometimes resulting in death, is where that slippery slope ends. Which is why we must all challenge these attitudes.”

The hidden camera video is excellent and they list numerous resources. There’s also a comments section though I’d pass on it unless you love reading comments from men who think it’s perfectly fine to harass women in public who dress “a certain way.”

3. International Center for Research on Women: They are running an excellent initiative in India focused on changing boys’ and men’s attitudes about masculinity and gender issues, including addressing the rampant problem of street harassment, or eve teasing, there. One component of the initiative is called “Parivartan.” Through it, cricket coaches and role models on community cricket teams attend workshops on gender issues and then, because the others on the team look up to them, expose large groups of boys to healthy definitions of manhood and respect for women. This excerpt explains the impact on one of the participants:

Rajesh Jadhav via ICRW website

“…As is custom, Rajesh explains that women stood in a compartment [of the train] relegated for them. But the train was packed on this day, so some women were in the general area, alongside men. That’s when Rajesh saw a few men deliberately brush up against women. His eyes caught the pained looks on women’s faces.

Another time – actually, many other times – Rajesh says he was with friends when they harassed girls with lewd comments. He says he’s seen friends do so if they thought a girl was too tall. If they thought her skin was too dark. If she was with her boyfriend, they’d comment about what she did with him sexually.

In India, such behavior by Rajesh’s friends is called “eve teasing.” It runs the gamut, from making suggestive remarks to groping women, and is relatively common in public settings.

“I always used to feel … that we look at women and girls from a narrow perspective, and we make fun of their existence,” says Rajesh, who is pursing a bachelor’s degree in commerce at a nearby college – a rare opportunity in his community. “I’ve seen girls break down and cry and I couldn’t do anything.”

Until now.

These days, Rajesh has the confidence to speak out against mistreating women and girls. Sometimes, he even intervenes to stop it. He admits to being pressured to harass girls, too – and has in the past – but no more. “I know now that is harming someone’s dignity.”As a participant in ICRW’s Parivartan program, Rajesh has become an ambassador of sorts, preaching to his peers that women shouldn’t be controlled, and that men need to learn how to handle problems without using violence.”

So wonderful. Can we please get a similar program in the US?! Additionally, check out ICRW’s publication What Men Have to Do With It.

“Most policies that strive for equality still focus exclusively on empowering women and neglect the role that men can play in the effort. This report summarizes how policies of seven countries (Brazil, Chile, India, Mexico, South Africa, Norway and Tanzania) involve men in gender equality goals. The study also examines whether the policies address social norms that reinforce traditional perceptions of what it means to be a man. The authors analyze advances, challenges and remaining gaps in a range of policy arenas”

I am so grateful for the programs of these organizations and hope that other big groups will follow suit and address the fact that nearly all women and girls are unsafe and unwelcome in public spaces at least sometimes because of some boys and men. That won’t change until we all do our part to make sure it changes.

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Filed Under: street harassment Tagged With: eve teasing, International Center for Research on Women, one step too far, Parivartan, sexual harassment, street harassment, UNIFEM. United Nations, Wales

Do leftist men care that women are unsafe in public?

June 16, 2010 By HKearl

Women’s inability to be in public places as safely as most men should be a major human rights, social justice issue, right? But usually it’s relegated to the “style” or “women’s issues” section of the news, meaning it’s not important news. It’s like it’s just a given that women are unsafe and we should follow “safety tips” like not going places alone or at night. If we don’t, then what were we thinking? Of course we’re going to get harassed and assaulted!

What the hell crap is that?!

This is a huge pet peeve of mine. Where is the OUTCRY around the world? Given my feelings, then, I am fascinated by the blog post “The Left’s Sexual Terrorism” on American Thinker and the question, do leftist men engage in the sexual terrorism of women, including through street harassment?

Excerpt:

Like most of my young clients, Becky considers herself a progressive leftist. But unlike her peers, she is also angered by the Left. Becky’s main gripe is street harassment — and  liberal men not having her back.

Her friend told her, “The brothers harass you to put you in your place, to knock you down from your high holy horse. It’s about power.”

Becky’s story reminded me of these chilling words from Eldridge Cleaver, the ’60s Black Panther who admitted to raping several white women to advance the revolution. He once wrote:

Rape was an insurrectionary act. It delighted me that I was defying and trampling upon the white man’s law, upon his system of values, and that I was defiling his women. … I felt I was getting revenge.

Observing the political scene today, it’s clear that the sexual menacing hasn’t stopped. Sarah Palin has been on the receiving end of a steady barrage of sexual degradation. Here’s a title of an article from the June 2010 Harper’s Magazine: “Is Sarah Palin Porn?”

According to the new book Game Change, Palin was devastated when she was attacked fast and furiously. Her torment was by design. As Cleaver revealed, the Left has been using and abusing women for years.

The “wilding” of Palin was meant not just to demean her, but to frighten her. Leftists wanted to expose the raw nerve of vulnerability lying deep inside every woman’s soul. It is the knowledge that anytime, anywhere, we can be raped.

The word “vulnerable” comes from the Latin vulnus, which means to wound. And this is exactly what the Left has been doing to conservative women like Palin — terrorizing and wounding them.

The radicals are experts at controlling women. They’ve been dominating their own women for decades. To say that the Left is a safe harbor for women is to misunderstand their roots.

The women’s movement arose partly because women were locked out of positions of authority in the antiwar and civil rights movements. Even more disturbingly, women were brainwashed to believe that their main duty was sexual. As civil rights activist Stokely Carmichael infamously phrased it, “The role of women in the movement is prone.”

When SDS member Marilyn Webb dared to stand up at the National Mobilization Committee to advocate for women’s rights, she was laughed off the stage with catcalls and cackles of “Take it off” and “Take her off the stage and f**k her.” After her appearance, her life was threatened.

I’m feeling pretty angry at the moment and am still trying to process the whole post. I am a history major and one class I took was about U.S. history in the 1960s. This was the time of the anti-war movement, civil rights movement, red power movement, free love movement, etc. Women were barely touched on in my class; they were not considered leaders and their rights were a postscript (though to be fair, the 1970s was the time of more activism there – because women were upset over being excluded in the 1960s). I’ve read several books about women in these movements in the  years since and there were so many women behind the scenes, getting things done, and getting no credit, getting treated like sex objects and maids. By the liberal men working for human rights issues.

I just don’t get it. What is SO threatening about women having power, recognition, a voice? And today, what is SO threatening about women being able to walk down the street in peace? Why isn’t the inability to do so a human rights issue?!

I want to shout out, “Leave us the HELL alone. Don’t harass us, don’t rape us, just respect us. And join us in working to end harassment and assault in public places!” But would more than a handful of leftist (or rightist or neitherist) men listen (thank you v. much current male allies)? Given the amount of vile hatred from men that I find in the comments section whenever street harassment is mentioned in articles in areas not designated “for women,” I think not. And that makes me so angry and sad and scared.

Anyway, I don’t agree with everything in the article, but I definitely think her overall idea is right on. Your thoughts?

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Filed Under: street harassment Tagged With: 1960s, american thinker, civil rights, human rights issues, leftist men, the left's sexual terrorism

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