Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Risky Conversation

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As a woman, I know that there is always risk in politely talking to a male stranger in public, particularly if he initiates the conversation. No matter how benign or polite the topic of conversation is at first, there is always a risk that he will not know when to stop talking and will end up continuing to talk to you, follow you, try to get personal information from you, and maybe do worse, until you have no choice but to be rude to get him to stop.

This has happened to me many times, most recently this past Friday evening during my commute from work in Washington, DC to my home in Virginia.

Around 5:15 p.m., I boarded on an orange line metro car. I sat down next to a man who had his eyes closed. I read a book. We stayed like this for about 18 minutes. Then about two minutes before my stop the man sitting next to me started fidgeting. As I was blocking his way out due to the way the seats are arranged, he turned to me and said, “When you get to the bottom of the page can you please get up, it’s my stop next.”

I said, “Don’t worry, it’s my stop too, so I’ll be getting up anyway.”

“Oh okay,” he said, “then go ahead and read some more since we’ll get up at the same time.” (He mumbled when he said it the first time so I had to ask him to repeat himself)

I put my book away though because we were almost there and he informed me again that it was okay for me to finish reading that page [as if I needed his permission…].

I said, “It’s okay I can’t concentrate anymore.” He said, “Yeah, I know how that is.”

We arrived at the stop and I got up and then smiled and nodded at him when I left to acknowledge that we had had a human interaction as usually no one talks to each other during rush hour on my metro line. He mumbled something as he stood up but all I caught was, “you are beautiful.”

I nodded again, feeling awkward, and left the metro car. On the escalator to leave the metro platform, he stood on the right side and I passed him on the left side, and as I passed (the escalator was filled with people, none of whom are speaking) he said to me, “I should have gone on that side.” I nodded, to acknowledge him, and kept walking up.

He caught up to me soon after the escalator and after we went through the metro card reader area, he walked beside me and again mumbled and again all I caught was something about how beautiful I am. At that point I became annoyed and worried that he was going to keep following me so I didn’t acknowledge him and hurried down the next set of escalators to my bus stop. Fortunately he went to a different bus stop and that was the end of that.

So in a matter of minutes the interaction went from an interaction I would consider acceptable (aside from him feeling the need to grant me permission to read my book) and polite to him making me feel objectified and uncomfortable. Just because I was polite and smiled at him, apparently he felt that was an invitation to follow me and comment on my appearance, not once, but twice. In the end, I had to be rude and stop acknowledging him before he would leave me alone.

It reminds me of the following quote by Sue Wise & Liz Stanley, authors of Georgie Porgie: Sexual Harassment in Everyday Life:

“Most sexual harassment involves men who think that they have the automatic right to demand the time and attention from women, and will invoke that right whenever they choose. And any woman is fair game by virtue of being a woman…most sexual harassment comes in shades of grey and beige; and more often than not it’s entirely ambiguous behavior that could be sexual harassment, but could equally well be seen differently” (115).

Have you had a similar experience?  How did you respond?

Location: Falls Church, VA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Weekly Round Up – July 26

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Stories:

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

In the News:

Upcoming Events:
  • The Young Women’s Action Team is holding a free “Anti-Street Harassment Summer Camp” on August 1, in Chicago, IL. It looks like it will be a great event, so check it out if you’re in the Chicago area.

Announcements:

  • I’ve been offered a book contract for my proposed book on street harassment! Submit your stories for inclusion.
  • Enter a photography contest for photographers who capture or depict street harassment, particularly in the DC area. Selected winners will have the chance to show/sell their work at a reception the evening before the Holla Back DC: Make DC Harassment Free Summit.
  • RightRides in NYC recently has expanded their services of a free ride home from Saturday nights to include Friday nights too! They offer this service from 11:59 p.m. – 3 a.m. in 45 neighborhoods across four boroughs. To call for a ride, the dispatch number is (718) 964-7781 OR (888)215-SAFE (7233).

Street Harassment Resource of the Week:

A video by a Penn State student showing the volume of harassment women experience on campus.

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Street Harassment in Portland, Oregon

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I am 17 and live in Portland, Oregon, a supposedly liberal city, but the street harrassment is constant. On a weekly basis I deal with the prolonged, creepy stares of men who are obviously twice my age. This isn’t a 5 second look over, this is a fifteen minute intense, no blinking, staring right at my chest for a 15 minute bus ride kind of staring. Every couple of weeks a man will do something suggestive along with the creepy stare. They act surprised when I don’t like it! The city train is also a terrible place to be. At one point a group of four teenage boys had an animated discussion about my breasts while standing about two feet away from me. I asked them to stop and they laughed and continued.

This sort of attention really bothers me, but it’s not the worst thing. Last summer I had just gotten my driver license. I was at a local city library, somewhere I had always felt quite safe. I checked out my books, walked through the parking lot, got in my car, locked the door and was just about to leave when this stranger walked up to my car and knocked on my window. So I roll down my window a couple of centimeters so I could hear what he was trying to say. He told me he had seen me in the library and wanted to go out. Again, he was probably twice my age. I was obviously much younger. I said no, rolled up my window, and drove away very shaken.

Street harassment is always annoying and frequently scary. I try not to let it limit where I go and what I do but it does. There are certain places I will not walk alone, I always sit as close to the bus driver as I can, and I avoid trains completely. I don’t think the clothes one wears matter much, but I avoid wearing tight shirts or tank tops if I’m going somewhere alone because I feel more visible and vulnerable. I wear shoes I know I can run in. I see guys on the street and think about where I can go if the comments get unbearable. It’s exhausting to be anywhere in public long because I have to be hyper-aware to avoid what potentially dangerous situations.

– I.

Location: Portland, Oregon

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Women Run Taxi Service in Beirut

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Lebanon joins other countries like England, Russia, Australia, Iran, India, and the United Arab Emirates in having women-run taxi services. From the Wall Street Journal (there’s a video too if you click on the video tab):

“Nawal Fakhri, 45 years old, founder of Banet Taxi… launched Banet Taxi in March with just three cars and three drivers. Her fleet of late-model Peugeots has grown five-fold since then with enough drivers to provide 24-hour service. She is hoping to double her fleet this summer, to 24 cars.

The company is part of a regional trend. Entrepreneurs across the Middle East have recognized the business potential in offering secure transportation options for women. Banet Taxi follows on the heels of successful women-only transportation models in Dubai, Tehran and Cairo….

“One of my daughters is 15 years old and I send her in this taxi all the time, especially at night … and not have to worry.”

It is the promise of a safe and uneventful ride that attracts a wide range of female passengers: older women who want a quiet drive, young women out partying until late at night, and even preschoolers put in the cars by their teachers.

Passengers’ reasons for choosing Banet are based, in part, on their cultural and religious backgrounds. Beirut’s population breaks down roughly into thirds, Christian, Sunni and Shiite. Conservative Muslim women might take Banet Taxi to accommodate rules against traveling with unknown men. Others just want to put comfort and safety first.

“I studied Lebanese society well and my first customer is the Lebanese woman,” says Ms. Fakhri. “I am well aware that I could be making a lot more money with this if I also accepted male customers, but to me it is clear that in Lebanon, women need a service like this.”

Lebanon has no shortage of women who are skittish about taking regular taxis. Reporting of sexual harassment remains low in a country with much taboo surrounding abuse and victimhood.

Yasmine Hajjar, a 23-year-old student in Beirut, says most of her female friends have a story about being harassed in a taxi. In one extreme example, she says she narrowly escaped being abducted by a taxi driver when she was 15 years old — by pulling out her knife and holding it to the driver’s throat.

“I think the pink taxis are a good thing,” says Ms. Hajjar. “It’s the safest way to go.”

It’s interesting how many of these women run taxi services are cropping up around the globe. As I’ve said many times, ideally, I’d love to have cultures socialize men not to harass women and make there be stiff consequences if they do, but in the meantime, I love seeing women like Ms. Fakhri take matters into their own hands and create safer ways for women to travel. Kudos to her.

RightRides in New York City is a small nonprofit that provides rides home to women, transgender, and queer people for a few hours on Friday and Saturday nights in most neighborhoods across the NYC-metro area.  At least one of the two volunteers per car must be female. Unlike the for-profit programs in other countries, they offer their service free of charge. They always need more volunteers and money to keep running, so check them out.

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“Wolf-whistle” Contest in Ireland

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Winner of the wolf whistle competition, via BBC
Winner of the wolf whistle competition, via BBC

The loud, long-drawn out “wolf whistle” seems to come up the most when there are discussions about “street harassment” or “catcalling.” Maybe this is because it seems to be the form of street harassment most often used in commercials or cartoons (Tom & Jerry, Anamaniacs, for example) and it seems to be forever tied to construction workers standing around not doing their job but instead whistling at women walking by.

Whether because it’s seen so much in popular culture or because it’s so easy to do, I’ve also found it to be the most common street harassment experience of women. Last fall, when I conducted my informal, anonymous online survey, nearly 94 percent of the more than 800 female respondents said they had been the target of whistling at least once and nearly 38 percent said it occurred to them on a monthly to daily basis. And my respondents came from all over the world! I conclude that getting whistled at by men is a near universal experience for women.

While whistling isn’t usually as scary or degrading or invasive as more severe forms of street harassment – like sexually explicit comments, groping, masturbating, and stalking – many women still find it degrading, annoying, and infuriating. People whistle for dogs to come to them and, while I love dogs, I think it’s demeaning for women to be called to or called for in the same way. And besides, what gives men the right to think they can just whistle at whatever woman they want whenever they want? Oh yeah, sexism and patriarchy.

So now that my stance on wolf whistling is clear, check out this article, via BBC News, and you can guess my feelings about it:

“On Wednesday Irvinestown played host to Ireland’s first ever wolf-whistling championships, complete with scaffolding, hard hats, and plenty of women.

The men of the town were more than eager to show their appreciation of the fairer sex, eagerly donning hard hats and lining up along the pavement to demonstrate their whistling skills.

“We’re all here for the good-looking women,” joked Jimmy McKenna. “It just comes naturally.” …

The politically incorrect competition was the work of festival organiser, and whistling devotee, Joe Mahon.

“It was all good fun, and we didn’t get too many complaints at all – people just enjoyed the day.

“That’s how I met met my wife originally, I met Marie 23 years ago.

“I whistled at her and I’m stuck to her since, as they say.”

Joe’s years of experience stood him in good stead when asked to pick a winner out of the fine whistles in competition in Irvinestown.

“I’m a good judge of a whistle, because it got me the right woman in the end.

“Stephen did a great job, and he’s a worthy champion wolf-whistler.”

For local butcher Stephen Millar, it was years of practice that clinched the title.

“I’m 28 years old, and I’ve been whistling at any young thing since I was 16.”

Oh ha-ha, it’s all good and fun to dehumanize, sexualize, and whistle at “pretty” and “young” girls in a world with high rates of gender-based violence and assault. Chuckle chuckle laugh laugh. But really, I think it’s not.

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