Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming
I told a group of construction workers that I used to walk by every day on my way to school that I’m not their dog to whistle at, and I angrily stared at one of them in the eyes to let them know I was serious. When I did that, they were shocked; I guess they had never gotten that kind of response before.
– anonymous
A few months ago I posted the short documentary “Black Woman Walking” by Tracey Rose. She was kind enough to do an interview for me for my book, but I also found this recent interview she did for All Diva Media. Here is an excerpt. I definitely recommend reading the full text:
We know that we live in a culture where women are seen as sex objects but what can we as women do about it? Are we just helpless victims who need to learn how to ignore crass behavior?
No, I don’t believe we’re helpless victims or anything. I think the more we discuss this amongst ourselves and with men in our communities, the less we normalize this behavior. That’s part of the issue, how seemingly “normal” it all is. It’s a socially tolerable form of violence.
I’ve had women come up to me crying after a screening, because they remember how psychologically damaged they felt in their teen years and how this affected their view of the men in their communities thereafter. For something so “seemingly small,” this can have major repercussions on our most basic interactions.
Is there anything else that you’d like to add?
I was raised by a father who, as a kid, I would always write off as overprotective and paranoid because of his preoccupation with sexual violation, but I later realized that he understood that a black female body was looked at as prey in the world.
There are few instances in my life that solidified that view for me more than the harassment I encountered on city streets. You finally understand that on a basic level, you are just a body to some people, not a student, a daughter, a friend, or a wife, but merely a body with breasts and an opening between her legs. And to see that is really horrifying, but then you remember that we live in a country, where systemic rape of black women was justified, that in a court of a law, it was considered impossible to rape a black woman, her violation legally could not be considered rape. The undercurrent of that consciousness doesn’t go away just cause you get the right to vote. It lives in our soil. It lives in our language.
Many more people are willing to talk about street harassment than are willing to talk about domestic violence, rape, or the sex trafficking of minors. But isn’t the undercurrent underneath those things the same consciousness that creates them all–the idea that women, especially women of color, are fundamentally prey?
A friend just alerted me to the following video of guys group groping women walking by. I’m not sure where the location is, but it’s somewhere warm and it seems like it must be in an area with clubs or the beach from the way people are dressed. The guys are on the sidewalk and they are groping and otherwise harassing all the women that walk by and videotaping themselves doing it etc. They are clearly getting a big kick out of it at the expense of the ladies. As with a lot of street harassment, most of the women walk on by — it’s a large group of men — but a few fight back.
I wish I knew more about what was going on and if anyone ever reported these guys because what you can see in the video is really disturbing. The guys weren’t just grabbing body parts either (horrible enough) but they were also pulling down women’s pants to see their underwear and really violating the space and privacy and surely the level of comfort of the women.
It was especially chilling near the end when they had completely surrounded one of the women and it made me worry for her safety. Group herd mentality at its worst. I hope she got away. . .
What would you have done if you’d seen this happening?
I was walking to work on Wall Street, it was a crowded narrow sidewalk. I noticed that someone hit me almost right between the legs. I thought it was strange but could have been an accident. I didn’t see exactly who it was. A few mornings later walking to work it happened again, this time i knew it was no mistake. This man was walking to work and grabbing women’s vaginas on his way. I started screaming at him. Calling him a freak and pervert. People were staring at me yelling at this huge man dressed in a suit and tie. It’s no longer the route i take. I still think of going back and waiting for him but this time i would be ready to take a picture. I also carry mace. I felt so angry after i had been violated. I seriously wanted to injure this man. I hate him and he makes me sick. It’s scary he was doing this to a grown woman of 27 years. It’s hard to imagine he’s not doing it to young girls on the streets.
– anonymous story from my street harassment survey
January is Stalking Awareness Month. Most people who are stalked know the person stalking them and the average duration of stalking is 1.8 years.(1) Here are helpful resources: http://www.stalkingawarenessmonth.org/resources.
Brief stalking by strangers in public is also a big problem and one that is very scary for the women being followed. I’ve read close to 200 stories involving women being followed and stalked in public by strangers, including the following two stories:
“I was stalked by a strange man one day in a shopping center, when I was out with my friend. He would just appear in front of us several times, leering at us very aggressively. I started laughing because I was so nervous, and we entered a store and asked for help from the woman clerk. We called my friend’s mom as soon as we were in the store so she would pick us up as we were afraid of staying in that mall.”
“I was once followed home from the subway by two men making sexually explicit comments and suggestions. I ignored them until one grabbed me from behind, at which point I turned around and started to scream profanity at them. That convinced them to leave, since it was crowded. No one came up to offer assistance, or see if I was ok afterward, and I felt ashamed that people saw it happen.”
Have you ever been followed or stalked? If so, how were you able to get away? Do you have any advice to share?