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Welcome May – August 2016 Blog Correspondents!

May 9, 2016 By HKearl

Meet our newest blog correspondents! They will write monthly posts from May to August 2016.

Shahida Arabi, NY, USA

Shahida is a summa cum laude graduate of Columbia University graduate school and is the author of four books, including The Smart Girl’s Guide to Self-Care and Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare, a #1 Amazon Best Seller. As a passionate advocate for survivors of abuse, sexual assault and trauma, her writing has been featured on sites like The National Domestic Violence Hotline website, Elephant Journal, Dollhouse Magazine, Thought Catalog, and the Feministing Community blog. She studied English Literature and Psychology at NYU, where she graduated summa cum laude and was President of its National Organization for Women (NOW) chapter. Her blog, Self-Care Haven, has over 1.8 million views and has been shared worldwide in all 196 countries. Her work on emotional and psychological abuse has been shared by numerous clinical psychologists, mental health practitioners, bestselling authors, and award-winning bloggers. You can follow Shahida on Twitter and join her Facebook community.

Tharunya Balan, Bangalore, India

Tharunya is an urban planner and architect with a passion for issues of social, environmental and spatial justice, including the gendered ways in which urban spaces are designed and function. As a middle-class well-educated Indian woman in a large cosmopolitan city in the subcontinent, she constantly works to expand her understanding of gender, privilege, discrimination, and systemic oppression in her country and environment. She has a particular interest in including men in conversations around women’s issues and the ideas of safety, respect, and consent. She has a bachelor’s degree in architecture and a master’s degree in City and Regional Planning from the Georgia Institute of Technology, where she will be returning to obtain a degree in Geographic Infomations Systems Technology later this year.

Mariel DiDato, NJ, USA

Mariel is a recent college graduate, feminist, and women’s rights activist. Although she received her degree in Nutritional Sciences, she plans to pursue graduate degrees in the fields of Public Policy and Women’s Studies to turn her volunteer activism into a career. She began her activism as a confidential crisis advocate for sexual and domestic violence survivors for Rutgers University’s Office of Violence Prevention and Victim Assistance. Since her training, she has become completely immersed into the field of women’s health and rights. Currently, she volunteers for a number of different organizations, including the Planned Parenthood Action Fund of New Jersey and the New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault. She is passionate about ending sexual violence, and is determined to see the elimination of rape culture in her lifetime. You can follow her on Twitter at @marieldidato or check out her personal blog, Fully Concentrated Feminism.

Deborah D’Orazi, NY, USA

Deborah is a recent MSW graduate who also received certification from American University’s Women and Politics Institute and Rutgers’ Center on Violence Against Women and Children. In addition to social work, Deborah is looking to pursue an MPP/MPA in order to help create policies that empower many different members of society, particularly those who are dealing with trauma. Deborah hopes to use her passion and skills to continue advocating and writing for human rights, gender and racial equity, trauma, HIV and AIDS, reproductive health and maternal care, LGBTQ issues, and economic inequality. In addition to social justice issues, Deborah is also extremely passionate about the arts (theater, writing, film, television, fine art, poetry, performance art), history, and Hamilton.

Hope Herten, IL, USA

Hope is a full-time undergraduate student studying public health and Spanish in Chicago, IL. After graduation in Spring 2017, Hope wants to return to her hometown of Cleveland, OH, and help work on outreach programs to improve the overall health of the community by focusing on minorities and high risk populations. Street harassment is intimately linked to the health of women, and as such is a serious public health issue. During her time in Chicago, Hope has participated in many protests and events trying to call awareness to women’s issues on campus and in the broader Chicago community. Her role model is Michelle Obama, a powerful woman who has devoted her life to many great causes like children’s health equity, the advancement of young women, and gender equality. If you want to keep up with Hope you can follow her on Twitter @hope_lucille or check out her public health blog.

Minying Huang, Amman, Jordan

Minying is a 19-year-old British-born Chinese student from Cambridge, England. She is studying for a BA in Spanish and Arabic at Oxford University and is currently on her Year Abroad in Amman, Jordan, where she spends far too much time gorging herself on syrupy cheese pastries, drinking copious amounts of mint tea, and trying to figure out how best to deal with street harassers. She is particularly interested in transcultural dialogue and intersectional approaches to activism, exploring the ways in which overlapping identities shape both individual and collective experiences of oppression and marginalisation. Outside of study, she likes to read, write, and draw; she has written for Your Middle East, and her poems and illustrations have been published in a number of student publications including feminist and LGBTQ+ zines. You can follow her on Twitter @minyingh.

Manish Madan, Ph.D., NJ, USA

Manish is a Professor of Criminal Justice at Stockton University where his research focuses on examining sexual harassment, gender empowerment, spousal abuse and policing issues. It is grounded in policy, international and comparative research. He teaches both undergraduate and graduate students. His research has appeared in International Criminal Justice Review, Policing: An International Journal of Police Strategies & Management, Asian Journal of Criminology, and Journal of Criminal Justice and Security, and in many prominent media outlets including NY Times, India Today and The Economic Times. He was recognized with President’s Outstanding New Scholar Award by the Western Social Science Association in 2015. He frequently consults organizations on sexual harassment and gender issues. Manish earned his doctorate at Michigan State University and has Masters in Statistics, from India (Delhi) and Canada (Newfoundland). You can follow him @Prof_Madan or reach out to him at www.manishmadan.com.

Ginger Skinner, NY, USA

Ginger is a full-time reporter and long-time New Yorker with over 10 years of experience writing about health and wellness. Ginger is also a member of Brooklyn Movement Center’s No Disrespect anti-street harassment team, and is dedicated to deepening the conversations surrounding the causes of gender-based harassment and violence, and the intersections of race. She’s also a poet and essayist, currently working on a collection of poems on the impact of colorism on Black women and girls. She holds a BA from Howard University. Ginger enjoys drinking strong coffee, wearing shoes, listening to podcasts, and biking, and has an irrational fear of small talk and flying insects. Follow Ginger on Twitter at @ginger_skinner.

Turquoise A. Thomas, KS, USA

Turquoise is a 26-year-old freelance journalist, program manager at the Wichita Women’s Initiative Network, and a junior at Wichita State University. Upon graduating she plans to attend a joint Juris Doctor/Masters of Social Work Program. A California native, with a background in youth development and law enforcement, her current work focuses primarily on women, children and gender. In Fall 2015 she expanded her fieldwork and academic studies outward from California to the Midwest with the intention of expanding women’s services in underserved states such as Kansas. Turquoise is an avid public educator and presents regularly as the founder of SHERO Coalition (SHERO Co). Feel free to follow her on twitter @anthroisms or join her growing coalition SHERO on Facebook!

USA: Harmful Oklahoma Court Ruling

April 29, 2016 By Correspondent

Rupande Mehta, New Jersey, USA SSH Blog Correspondent

It was a good and bad week for victims of sexual assault and rape. While former House Speaker Hastert was being sentenced to 15 months (yup, only 15 months after the judge declared him a “serial child molester”) for molesting young boys when he coached as a wrestler, the Oklahoma court shocked everyone with the declaration that state law does not criminalize oral sex with a victim who is completely unconscious.

Right, why didn’t we think of that? An unconscious person is completely capable of giving consent so why prosecute someone who took advantage of the VERY fact that the victim was unconscious and orally sodomized her?

I have to be brutally honest here: some days the fight to make folks understand what constitutes violation of a person’s body seems so hopeless. On days like these, I feel I am transported to the hell holes of Pakistan, India and other countries where rape and other forms of violence against women is a daily fact of life. My mind cannot accept the fact that a verdict of that magnitude was issued by a court in the United States. It seems like the work of moron village elders and other local leaders, who need five witnesses to prove a rape, not that of a judicial body in the United States.

I can’t even comprehend the idiocy of this court. And I don’t even know where to begin.

This is not the court’s fault…not ONLY their fault. This is a system-wide issue that takes pride in victim-blaming. Every day we hear about assault, rape and other forms of violence like street harassment, but the question that takes center stage is “what was she doing” instead of “why did he abuse”?

We as a society have culturally evolved to the point where violence is acceptable if we can shift the onus on the victim. We look for loopholes in her story – why was she there? Who did she go with? What was she wearing? Or as John Kasich famously said, don’t drink at parties so you don’t get raped. I can’t wait for his 16 –year-old twin girls to get to college and avoid parties because their father warned them they could get raped.

We live in a society that victim blames and no one is a better example of this than our judicial system. We let lawyers question victims about abuse in a manner that befits no living being in this world. We sit back and enjoy every tiny detail re-lived by the victim over and over again and then turn around and tell her that her story has holes in it because she cannot remember every single ghastliness that happened to her. We sit back and let lawyers badger victims, not considering their emotional abuse and high levels of trauma that prevent them from being consistent in their narration. We live in a society where it is acceptable to yell and scream at people who have been abused but not okay for someone to falter in their responses. We have made our society into a mockery of human values devoid of empathy, understanding and respect of one’s experiences; instead delving into painful details where even accurate chronicles result into justice failing them at the end of the day.

Our focus is on the victim and what they did or didn’t do right. Did you say no? Did you scream? Why not? If not, how can we believe you were being raped? Or in this Oklahoma case, you were passed out so you could not have said no. But what about her not saying yes either?

This level of victim blaming is nauseating. Besides a severe gap between ideas of rape and consent and appropriate laws, there is a lack of basic understanding of what consent is. And asinine rulings such as the Oklahoma case further propagate a society where such behavior becomes the norm.

We are all responsible for this hideous culture – a social order where women are constantly assessed on how well they defended themselves against harm, how deftly they handled a street harassment situation or whether they made a big deal of the assault at the time it was happening. As far as the abuser is concerned, we are waiting to give them a free pass or sympathize and excuse him the moment a woman cannot fill all holes in her story.

Consent is simple: Yes means yes and No means no. If a person is too drunk, they CANNOT give consent. Consequently, if they are passed out; the question of consent does not even arise. This is a very simple concept but many of us, including the learned individuals on the Oklahoma court, cannot grasp it. Whichever way we look at it, it is time to change the way the rules are written; ones which do not look to place the blame on the victim but on the one who committed the crime. It is time the law takes into account emotional abuse, trauma and, of course, the unequivocal definition of consent.

Rupande grew up in Mumbai, India, and now resides in the U.S. She has an MBA and is currently working towards her MPA, looking to specialize in Non Profit Management. You can find her writing on her blog at Rupande-mehta.tumblr.com or follow her on Twitter @rupandemehta.

USA: Gender Essentialism, Engaging Men in Sexual Assault Awareness, & Walk a Mile in Her Shoes©

April 27, 2016 By Correspondent

By LB Klein, Jen Przewoznik, & Jeff Segal

Every April, for Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM), men all over the country stumble through public parks in high heels to raise awareness for the gender-based violence movement. Walk a Mile in Her Shoes© has been a staple of SAAM programming since 2001, and has been touted as “a world-wide movement” engaging “tens of thousands of men” in conversations on difficult topics like gender, power, and sexual assault in an accessible and fun way.

Men have embraced Walk a Mile in Her Shoes© – it’s very often the most well-attended SAAM event by men, and its popularity has helped raise tremendously needed funds for rape crisis centers and other anti-violence organizations nationally and internationally. However, many activists and organizers have begun to voice serious concerns over the popular event.

It is vital that we consider not only the intent but the impact of our sexual assault awareness events. In Walk a Mile in Her Shoes©, men step into high heels to show their solidarity with women. High heels are therefore held as emblematic of “women.” But while some women wear high heels, many women do not, and furthermore, women are often targeted specifically because they express themselves outside of the normative societal expectations of their gender. By equating high heels with “women,” we remove gender non-conforming women from our conversations about sexual violence entirely, and reinforce the common myth that people who present in ways that are considered masculine are not vulnerable to violence. Walk a Mile in Her Shoes© positions women as victims and men as perpetrators, but we need to also acknowledge that there are survivors of all gender identities, including men.

Walk a Mile in Her Shoes© also creates spaces that further marginalize transgender people. Forge, a national transgender rights organization, says activists should consider “whether they are re-victimizing more than a third of all victims by ignoring their very existence.” According to the National Transgender Discrimination Survey, 64% of transgender people have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Transgender women are often incorrectly and offensively described as “men wearing women’s clothing,” which is often used to justify violence against them. Transgender women, especially those of color, face not only an incredibly disproportionate risk of experiencing sexual and intimate partner violence but also street harassment, police brutality, homelessness, joblessness, incarceration, and murder. It is vital for people working to end gender-based violence to closely ally with transgender and non-binary people instead of holding events that exclude and further marginalize them.

It is evident that Walk a Mile in Her Shoes© has raised attention, awareness, and funds, but at what expense? We cannot afford to raise awareness by perpetuating an essentialist view of what people should wear, how they should look, act, and be. The Walk a Mile in Her Shoes© narrative is accessible because it is reductive, and oversimplification in our work is, quite literally, dangerous. Of course, communities should still hold awareness raising events, but we must be intentional about changing the exact norms that perpetuate violence instead of reinforcing them. Events that re-victimize, erase, or marginalize survivors in their very concept do not have a place in our field.

So, what else can we do instead to engage men during SAAM?

We can hold events that encourage folks of all genders working together. We can bring smaller groups of men together for meaningful conversation or larger groups for fundraisers that are not built around reinforcing harmful gender norms. Perhaps, as Forge suggests, we should hold events that encourage everyone to break stereotypes about gender and discuss how harmful gender norms perpetuate violence. Then, we will be raising awareness of the true message of the movement to end sexual assault: that to end sexual assault, we must change culture.

LB Klein, MSW has dedicated her professional and academic life to ending gender-based violence, supporting survivors, and advancing social justice. She is a Consultant and Lead Trainer for Prevention Innovations Research Center at the University of New Hampshire. She is based in Atlanta, GA and will begin pursuing a doctorate in the School of Social Work at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill this August.

Jen Przewoznik, MSW has over 15 years of experience working with/in women’s and LGBTQ communities as an educator, trainer, technical assistance provider, practitioner, and programevaluator. She is founder of the Queer Research Consulting Collaborative, a project designed to consult with researchers studying LGBTQ issues. Jen is currently the Director of Prevention & Evaluation at the North Carolina Coalition Against Sexual Assault and co-chairs the NC Sexual Violence Prevention Team and the NC Campus Consortium.

Jeff Segal, BS resides in NYC, where he works in the tech sector and moonlights as a professional dancer. He has been a part of the movement to end sexual violence for ten years. Jeff has four years of experience as a sexual violence crisis counselor, and currently is leading initiatives to make social dancing in New York a safer space.

USA: Honor Killings

March 16, 2016 By Correspondent

Rupande Mehta, New Jersey, USA SSH Blog Correspondent

Recently I watched HBO’s premiere of the Oscar-winning documentary A Girl in the River: The Price of Forgiveness about honor killings in Pakistan.

Being born in India and having extremely controlling parents, I have seen a lot. Most attitudes I have encountered in my life are far from progressive. They demand women not leave the house, not have friends or not to be social in any way. Otherwise, you are punished and subjected to the worse kind of emotional assault and physical pain.

“I gave you life, I can take it away as well,” is a threat I am very familiar with. These same threats I heard last night on the movie. The main character Saba’s father proudly proclaimed them when she married against his will. Then in an outrage, he and an uncle shot Saba and threw her in the river leaving her to die there alone. But she survived.

I left India 15 years ago, and I wish more had changed than has. Although Saba’s case happened in Pakistan, make no mistake that events like this transpire in other parts of the world. They have for decades and will continue to happen every day in the life of innocent women and girls whose only crime is to have a male friend.

In the Name of Honor

I was 13 or maybe 14 and had a boyfriend – my first love, the love of my life. We met seldom so this particular evening I was very excited to see him. We were walking on the street – not holding hands, not in any physical proximity – only walking and talking like two friends would.

Suddenly, I looked sideways and saw my father’s car racing towards me at full speed. I froze not knowing what to do. My father knocked me over with his white Maruti van. I lay on the street with my knee badly bruised and bleeding while he got out of the car and started beating my boyfriend. Luckily, I wasn’t seriously hurt but he almost went to the same extent Saba’s father did.

Why did he do that? Well, he was trying to protect his honor. It was not acceptable to him that I talked to a male friend in the presence of “society”. What would they think of him, letting him run his women loose like that? Mind you, the entire incident, for him, had nothing to do with what he did to me and how he hurt me but how I went against his will and hurt his feelings. That day, I stopped believing that my father could protect me. I lost all faith in him and his love for me. And of course, I never got over it. I don’t think I ever will.

My crime was talking to someone who did not belong to my gender and could have the propensity to take away my father’s “honor.” And for my father, protecting his honor came above everything else. Even above that daughter he claims, even today, to love more than anyone else.

Saba’s story made me want to bawl as I saw my own experiences and those of thousands of others who are yet to come face to face with their fathers’ wrath. Our society is a dim, hopeless place that not only denies women basic freedom, including to roam safely in public spaces, but also honors those fathers who commit such horrendous acts against their daughters. No one speaks a word, no one stands with us. We are left with our trauma to deal with the ugly scars these “parents” throw on us, and to hear that we do not deserve to be loved because we did not abide by their rules.

Saba was forced to forgive those who almost killed her. She did not want to but she had to. Why? Because our society does not give women rights to make up their own mind either. She is the only one who knows what she went through in that river and how she made it out and sought help. Yet, no one asked her what she wanted to do. They all wanted sulah (reconciliation) and for Saba to realize that her father is the sole bread winner.

What’s Honor Killing?

For those who are unfamiliar with it, honor killings are acts of vengeance, usually murder, committed by male members against female members who are held to have brought dishonor upon the family. According to the International Honor Based Violence Research Center, 5,000 honor killings take place throughout the world, with 1,000 each occurring in India and Pakistan alone.

This happens because we believe women are men’s property and daughters have to abide by every rule in the codebook. If not, they are tarnishing the family’s honor and deserve to die.

Our attitude that women are objects, not humans, is wretched. We kill them if they do not listen to us, pour acid on their bodies if they reject us, harass them on the streets if they pass us and then blame them if they complain or fight against us.

Last night, after watching Saba I felt hopeless – the fight to changing minds and outlooks is so long; some days it makes me not want to get out of bed. But despite the harrowing battle that lies ahead, the future of our daughters depends on it. I hope Saba has a daughter as she wishes and I hope that little girl can fight her way through building a beautiful life and living the way she wants to – the same wish I have for my little girl.

USA: Five Ways People are Fighting Street Harassment

February 28, 2016 By Correspondent

Julia Tofan, Connecticut, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

Street harassment is terrifying. It can start with catcalling and stalking, and can quickly escalate to threats and violence if a victim shows anything but submission and compliance. It can be so pervasive in daily life that it’s expected. It’s not a question of whether it will happen, but when and where. It’s an issue people around the world share and fight against. Here’s a list of recent initiatives and how they’re working.

Social Media: Street harassment campaigns and organizations quickly immerse social media with hashtags and headlines. Social media has the power to educate the masses, show victims of street harassment that they are supported, and change the status quo of accepted societal behavior, like catcalling. One example is Brazil’s Carnival Campaign, advocating for #CarnivalSemAssedio, or #CarnivalWithoutHarassment. Social media doesn’t offer victims legal protection or end street harassment, but it makes a difference.
Bringing Attention in the Moment: Who would’ve thought punk music and confetti could be used to fight street harassment? That’s exactly what women in Mexico City, one of the most dangerous places in the world for women according to the UN, are doing. The ladies of Las Hijas de Violencia, or Daughters of Violence, shoot confetti and play loud punk after an incident of street harassment. It’s dangerous and can escalate the situation if the street harasser feels attacked or shamed, but the women report that it helps them move on and take control of the situation.
Scooter Gangs: Women in Cairo are frequently victims of street harassment, but scooters are providing women with a safer means of transportation than public transportation or walking. Girls on Wheels has recruited more than 300 girls, taught many girls how to scooter, and gained the support of girls’ families. It doesn’t get to the root of street harassment and stop perpetrators, but it empowers girls and improves safety, and that’s a step forward.
Women only Transportation: Public transportation is a common location of street harassment, and it’s also a necessity for getting to and from different places. Women-only transportation implies all men are dangerous, places the onus on women to stay safe, and isn’t perfectly enforced, which allows males to occasionally enter the buses with the intention to harass women. Also, it isn’t always available. However, it can temporarily improve safety conditions for women traveling using public transportation, as Mexico is trying to accomplish with a new program.
Apps: Street harassment is vastly under reported. Whether it’s fear, lack of support and trust, or shame, victims oftentimes don’t report street harassment incidents. Apps like Ec Shlire, an app designed by a Kosovo woman, are fighting that by giving women a community specifically for reporting street harassment and putting the incident on the map. It’s bringing the attention to light and giving victims a sense of solidarity, but it doesn’t report incidents to the police and enable police involvement.

People have had controversial reactions to the various programs and campaigns fighting street harassment. Every program and campaign has drawbacks, but something is being done, and along with the drawbacks, there are benefits. Whether programs and campaigns blame victims, solve the root of the problem, take street harassment seriously, and keep women safe are important questions to keep on asking, but recognizing the positive impact different projects are showing is also vital.

Julia is a student in a rural town in Connecticut. She writes for Givology, a nonprofit dedicated to improving access to education, and Dreams That Could Be, an organization telling the stories of students facing great challenges but persevering in their education. Read her blog posts on Givology and Dreams That Could Be and follow her on Twitter @Julia_Tofan!

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