Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“I have countless examples of harassment from my time there”

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I am 30 years old now, married and have a small baby.  When I was 19 or so, I went to Walmart one evening (not late).  In the parking lot a car drove past me and I could feel eyes/heard a comment but ignored it and walked into the store. Unbelievably, not 5 minutes later a man (from the car) walked up to me in one of the front aisles of the store.  He walked straight up to me and told me I looked like a slut and that my sister was a whore and sucked dick. (???).

So I got REAL loud with him, as we were near the entrance and there was enough people around.  I said, “What the f*** did you just say to me?”  as loudly as I could to draw attention, and he walked away.  I even yelled at him as he walked off.  I found a store manager and asked that they remove the man from the store.  I was too young to know that I should have dialed 911.  Always dial 911 if you feel threatened.  The manager said okay, and 15 minutes later the same man was 10 feet away from me in another aisle.  I was stunned, and immediately went to check out.  I made several calls to Walmart after that but they obviously didn’t care.  I am glad I no longer live in that city.  I have countless examples of harassment from my time there.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Billboards, tv/radio/paper ad telling me it is not ok to harass women.  State the legal consequences for harassment.

– Laura Q

Location: San Antonio, TX

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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“He didn’t think this was a big deal”

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I was walking down the street in the evening, and a car rounded the corner. The guy yelled something out his window at me (“hey babe” or something similar. I don’t remember). He then rounded the corner again and did the same thing. The third time, I told him I’d call the police, and he actually asked if I was serious. Apparently he didn’t think this was a big deal.

– Sandy

Location: Paterson, NJ, USA

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Kenya: He Mistook My Kindness for Weakness

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Linnet Nyawira Mwangi, Kisumu, Kenya, SSH Blog Correspondent

Image via Kenya Talks

Last week I had an interview with a client for my TV show and I was running out of time due to heavy traffic and as soon as I arrived in town, I decided to take the shortest route to the meeting point. I wish I just followed the route I was used to.  As I passed through a bus stage, a short middle aged man who had the responsibility of ensuring the vehicles were quickly boarded said hi to me. I have always believed in responding to greetings from strangers, I mean it is only fair to say hello back to someone since they put in some effort to acknowledge your presence, and as some say, “greetings are from God.” So, as usual I said hello back and quickly walked past him. Little did I know he had every intention of following me.

He caught up with and his comments followed one after the other. “You are very beautiful. Where are you from? Where are you going? Can I escort you?”  All this time I was silent praying to God that this man would just vanish and let me be. As I was about to cross the road, he grabbed my hand and told me “siste si uniwachie hata namba nikutafte kama hutaki kubonga saa hii”. This translates to “sister, give me your number so that I can look for you later if you do not want to talk right now.”

I quickly shoved him to the side and crossed the road only to find him right behind me. This was getting creepy and luckily there was a supermarket and I quickly went in and took the back exit. I looked at my watch and I was thirty minutes late. Looking at my phone, three missed calls from the client. I found my way to the meeting point and the receptionist told me that he had left. On trying his phone, he told me he would contact me when he was free again.

I sat down and wondered how this would happen, how many people had lost opportunities because somebody somewhere had delayed their destiny? I blamed myself for having responded to his greetings. If I had not, I would have met the client on time and the interview would be a success. Do people have to mistake other people’s kindness for weaknesses?

I therefore decided that I would never say hello back to anybody in town whom I have no intention of holding a conversation with.  Well, that is my way of handling street harassment, stay focused on where I am going. Ignore. Ignore and ignore.  This is because some remarks made by these harassers can make you lose your temper and feel the need to exchange words with them in order to justify maybe your way of dressing or in relation to any comment they make about you and we all know that this can get ugly since most of these harassers you cannot reason with and they would end up getting violent. As we have seen in some countries, they strip our women for talking back at them. Be safe.

Linnet is a student at Maseno University in Kisumu, Kenya pursuing a bachelor’s degree in sociology with IT. Follow her on Twitter @Shantel_lyn and Facebook @lynnette Shantellah.

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“This left me stunned and speechless”

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I was walking home in summer wearing a pretty summer dress, I was 16 and quite obviously very young.  A car full of older men, probably in their late 20s, drove by and asked me “how much” I was.  When I ignored them and walked quickly away, they proceeded to curb crawl me and ask me things like whether I am ‘working’, and asking me what I would do for certain amounts of money.  I’m usually the kind of girl to bite back when faced with street harassment, but this left me stunned and speechless.

– HH

Location: Rochdale town centre

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“I felt rattled but determined to not respond in any way”

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My most memorable street harassment experience was walking my two dogs about 3 blocks so they could pee. Two houses down a man started yelling things like, “Hey baby girl” and a few others joined in. I felt rattled but determined to not respond in any way.

On my way back he started yelling at me again and I felt so angry and fed up with him that I turned around and yelled “has that EVER worked for you? F***ing loser,” and then I felt panicked.

Then I passed my neighbor, who had sexually assaulted me two weeks prior, and he was calling out to me.

Another man told me to go on and respond and say hi to the nice old man. I didn’t call authorities because I live in a mostly black neighborhood including that neighbor, and I’m white so I was scared of how police would react and how the media might play it (if they got involved). But I also hated having to live my life like he’s any other decent person that I should get along with. So with the angry outburst I had already let out I yelled that I do not associate with rapists and neither should he and that my neighbor is lucky I didn’t call the cops on him, and he’s certainly not entitled to my time.

I finished the walk home by running and I locked the door and set the alarm panicked that he’d try to “talk about it” and harass me some more. He didn’t but I had a nervous breakdown and I was crying off and on for the rest of the night. I was shaking and felt very unsafe.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Denormalize public flirtation, pick ups, etc that people say is what (street) harassment is.

– Lexi

Location: Oklahoma City

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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