Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Stop looking all mad!”

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Walking from my car, I feel two men staring at me while whispering something under their breath. Irritated, look up and lock eyes with them for half a second each.

Once they’ve past me, one of the men yells, “Stop looking so angry!”

I turn around, strongly locking eyes with each of them sternly asking, “Why can’t I be angry?!”

He returns, “I don’t know, but stop looking all mad!”

At this point, I’m shaking, wishing I had hulk strength to stomp the shit out of these men. I angrily walk towards the store.

I turn around, speed-walking with my fists tight, and yell, “YOU DON’T KNOW?! I know that If you actually gave a SHIT about my emotions and feelings you would be respectful and let me have my uninterrupted peace! I can feel whatever the f*** I want!”

If I were a man, I guarantee I wouldn’t have been yelled at for looking upset. Society advertises women as sexy, happy, giggly, and having emotions looking similar to Lisa Frank’s art.
Both men AND women should feel comfortable and safe to feel whatever it is they are feeling.

– TM

Location: Long Beach, CA

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“If you’re dressed like this you shouldn’t be surprised if you get raped”

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Yesterday I went to prom with my friends and after some time, my best friend and I decided to get some fries because we were really hungry. While walking there several men approached us and harassed us with catcalls but that was just the start. What made me really angry was when we walked back and one guy walked by and said, “If you’re dressed like this you shouldn’t be surprised if you get raped.”

This needs to stop. I was already scared of walking alone outside when it’s dark but now I’m horrified. And if anybody thinks ʺnot all menʺ THERE WERE TWO MEN WHO DIDNT HARASS US OUT OF AT LEAST 20 MEN.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

We need to teach people that it’s not the victims fault and we need to teach boys and men to behave (I’m not saying it’s just women that are victims but I’m talking about my experience here) and tell them it’s not f***ing ok to talk like that!

– Anonymous

Location: Graz, Austria

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“I was followed by about six teenage boys”

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While I was still attending high school, I would often walk to meet my mother at her place of work. My mother is a middle school teacher and her school is very close to mine. Walking to her school was hardest when I was alone and the boys would comment about how “fine my body was” or how pretty I was, often in rude and creepy detail. Once I made the mistake of leaving my school late, because I had a club meeting. Consequently, I was followed by about six teenage boys, a posse I suppose. They were cat calling me, and became angry and aggressive when I calmly refused to respond. It wasn’t until I finally saw a security guard still on campus that my body stopped shaking and the fear subsided. The boys saw him as well and walked in the opposite direction. I ran to my mother’s school that day.

– Miramar

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Nepal: Separate buses now, separate walking lanes in the future?

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Aakriti Karki, Kathmandu, Nepal, SSH Blog Correspondent

When I read about it in the morning paper, I smiled. I was glad that the public transport authorities were finally paying heed to our concerns. Moreover, to know that the bus services would soon have lady drivers and lady conductors meant that more opportunities were going to be provided to women. Also, this would break the gender stereotypes in our society. We don’t see women as bus drivers or as conductors in Kathmandu even though there is a rise in the number of women who drive their own cars. Even the tempos have more female drivers compared to bus drivers. As for conductors, I’ve seen only a handful in Kathmandu so far. So I was really happy about the news that morning.

That very day, while I was returning home, I was treated rather rudely by a male bus conductor. As soon as I took my seat next to a window, he stared at me. A few other passengers gave me quizzical looks. A few minutes later, the conductor started yelling and pointing his finger at me. I had my earphones in so I removed them in time to hear him yell at me for not sitting in the “women’s seating area,” meaning the few seats designated for women-only on the bus.

I apologized and sat where he wanted me to be seated. Throughout that ride I kept questioning myself – Why could I not sit any other place? Wasn’t this “seat reservation” system put in place for the ladies who couldn’t find a seat in a packed buses? Why did I have to sit here if I could sit anywhere else? The bus wasn’t completely occupied! I didn’t have to sit just there. I knew I could sit anywhere else. But how was I supposed to explain it to them? The conductor followed the system. But was that the right way? He just did that to avoid the scolding from the police in case there was an inspection.

This is where our problem lies. No matter how much our society chants “women equality”, “women empowerment”, “women safety”, we never manage to make that happen. Will females not be allowed to travel in regular buses because there are “all-women buses” available for us? What if I want to travel someplace with my guy friends? Will we have to use separate buses? I hope this doesn’t become another misinterpreted system or another excuse for people to tell me where to sit. The last thing I need now is people telling me which bus to travel in and whom to travel with.

The new women-only bus “tactic” will surely help physically challenged women and older women. It’ll definitely put parents with young daughters at ease. But not me. I don’t mind defending myself when someone makes lewd comments about me or even stares me with that grin on his face. I like fighting with perverts and harassers. I like my freedom and I want all that any guy in my society gets.

I also like making people aware about the inequalities and dangers our society holds for girls. I like it when men show some respect to women – not because they are women but because they are humans. I like it when one human respects another human.

With these new buses, maybe we’ll be safe. But what about the “perverted” minds that will still wander free? Will we start having separate lanes to walk in? Because hey! We aren’t safe on the streets either, are we?

Aakriti is a student at Jalalabad Ragib Rabeya Medical College and member at Women LEAD Nepal – the only leadership development organisation for young women in Nepal. You can follow her on Twitter @karki_aakriti or Facebook.

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“As if it’s a milestone in a little girl’s life”

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At the age of 9, a man told me I had sexy legs. It caught me off guard and I thought wow, I’ve never been called sexy before. Shortly after men whistled at me and told me I should unzip my sunflower skirt. I lost my innocence.

My teenage years were a time of yearning for acceptance so I wore short skirts and belly shirts just to get attention. It was an awkward time and I thought it was normal to the point that I confused my self-worth based on a guy’s opinion.

My twenties turned dangerous: I would get followed or receive scary threats. Now in my late twenties I get defensive and stick up middle fingers.

I’m still finding ways to handle the situation, that’s why I take this matter seriously. Someday I know I might have to face this again with a little girl when she gets her first catcalled by a grown man and I’m going to explain why it happened. As if it’s a milestone in a little girl’s life, like getting her first period. It’s an unpleasant surprise but eventually you learn to deal with it. How can that be possibly explained to a child? The thought of it disturbs me.

– Maria

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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