I was trying to get a taxi home after a night out with a friend. Unfortunately I had to wait 20 minutes outside a cab office for the cab to come. It was not the safest area. There was a club near the cab station where an intimidating guy around 6ft who was not in the best state came towards the cab office with a group of youth. When I asked the cab controller where my cab was I was grabbed and pulled towards the guy who was intoxicated and who also wanted to make a move on me. I pushed him aside and told him ‘not to touch me please’ which then resulted into him getting in my face with a glass bottle in his hand and he started throwing verbal threats and insults at me stating ‘ Girls like you think your too F***ing nice’.

During this time two cabs that were passing the cab office who were meant to pick up my friend and myself both drove off without any intentions of stopping to help.  Luckily one of the youth was able to maintain and calm him down from things escalating further. The night then progressed further with me and my friend then being circled and intimidated by two youth on bikes, whom were both trying to make a move on us as well. Luckily a cab finally came, but because we felt so unsafe because of the area and what we experienced we put on the safety lock within the cab. I had an uneasy ride home just thinking about the fact that you can’t expect people out there to look out for you. You have to watch your own back.

– Michaela Graham

Location: Northeast London

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Over the last few weeks alone:

* A boy no older than 10 pulled my top down in a public park.
* An elderly man groped and verbally harassed me on the bus
* Men of varying ages have repeatedly leered at and catcalled me on the street (I am 16)
* When serving at the pub where I work upon occasion men have told me to ‘smile darling’, ‘show some more skin’ and ‘get back in the kitchen’ (I’m a waitress)

The first time I experienced street harassment I was 9, in a junior school uniform and it has not stopped since.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Educate men, there is a widespread culture that passes off any harassment towards women as ‘banter’, its not ‘banter’ it is a jail worthy offence.

– Anonymous

Location: Consett, Newcastle, UK

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I was travelling for work in Basel, walking down the street in the evening looking for a suitable place to get dinner. For no particular reason that attracted several stares/ leers from the passing blokes. There does not seem to be many women on their own in this town. I was then followed down the street by a bloke hissing something at me under his breath. It scared me, I turned around and walked away as fast as I could, ignoring him. I saw another woman getting harassed by a different man on the way back. At home I might be tempted to say something but here in another language I don’t feel confident. It doesn’t help that every second shop window has sexy lingerie on display or there are lap-dancing bars on street corners. I’m a 40 year old professional woman and it’s horrible to be made to feel vulnerable when doing something perfectly normal.

– Anonymous

Location: Basel, Switzerland

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I was leaving a beauty supply store dressed in regular, fully clothed jeans and an Oxford shirt when a white dude driving in his car yelled, “Hhow much for a BJ?” I am a Christian and practicing abstinence with a degree from an HBCU. I’m a missionary and basically a nun and may never even have sex. I didn’t know being brown automatically made me a whore or a prostitute…We were in a suburban well income neighborhood. Not that that matters. I am adult who lives at home.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Well it should be illegal to harass someone and hurl pornographic words at someone minding their own business. But I can’t see how that can happen. We need to have an awareness that the color of my skin does not make me a prostitute or welcome cat calls/harassment.

– AP

Location: I was walking home from the store from Maryland

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Sunday 9th November, 8:15 A.M. (London, England)

I was sitting by myself on an empty tube carriage and a man hopped on the same train carriage at the next station.I didn’t think anything of it, why should I? Right?

I had my head down whilst I was fiddling with my phone and I looked up to see him masturbating openly opposite me. Disgusted and mortified by what I saw, I quickly moved to the other side of the carriage (where still no one was sitting) but  he deliberately continued, leaving me in a state of severe discomfort.

When another man got on the same carriage at the next  station, he stopped and stood up, adjusted his clothes and acted completely normal… (Because of course, he had more respect and pride towards a man than a woman.)

Getting up from my seat to get off at my station, he too, got up and although this may have been a genuine coincidence, in my head at the time it didn’t seem it. Upon arrival to the station, I ran up the escalators ahead of him in order to report him in time before he got up there (I was hoping for community police officers to be present tbh). In the process of explaining to the only available TFL staff member what had happened, he ran up to the ticket barriers, jumped over them and ran out of the station.

The TFL staff member asked me to come into the office and put me on the phone to report the whole incident in detail to the police in which I did… (This took 15 mins)

They asked me several questions: What happened? How I was feeling? Descriptions of myself and the man etc. (I had no problem answering these questions as after all, I want this man to be prosecuted more than anything.)

This is the third time in the space of a month that I have reported an incident to the police due to harassment, so when the man on the phone asked me if I’ve been a victim of a similar incident before, I replied with “Yes.”

Immediately after my response to that question, I couldn’t help but feel like I, myself was almost the problem here. What was the intention behind such question? What difference would it make if I was or wasn’t a first time victim? Was he trying to create a profile of myself, and my image in public? Or was it possibly a neutral question asked for survey/record purposes? All these questions stayed in my head for the rest of the day.

Meanwhile, the man I was speaking to on the phone asked me for more detailed information regarding what I was wearing. Though this was most likely and understandably for CCTV purposes, I felt obliged to mention to him that I was wearing a long black coat, (even though I still stressed that this should not have happened to anyone, regardless of the type of clothing worn). He quickly agreed and reassured me this case would be taken seriously and dealt with by a specialised team called ‘The Guardian’.

He sounded sincerely disgusted and apologetic about the incident and advised me to take the day off. Although he meant well, taking a day off was not going to solve the issue, hence my decision to write about it, in attempt to raise awareness (even if it’s a small number of people I reach) for similar under-reported incidents that many women are weighed down with and continue to face whilst trying to get on with their daily lives.

I don’t for a millisecond, blame or look down on women that have gone through any form of harassment and have not reported it. It is their choice as it is only those who are put in such an unfortunate situation, would truly understand the courage it takes to get overcome the sensitivity and embarrassment associated with the incident to come forward. However, in my opinion, I would encourage, (and only when women feel ready to do so), to report these cases to the police.

I appreciate that in many cases the police have proven to not be as supportive as we hope for them to be; and nor are we always going to get the outcome that we want. Nevertheless, with some optimism in the civilisation of society; if we all encourage one another to keep reporting incidents, then hopefully some sort of solution will be reached. I would also urge women to continue to be there and support one another through these increasing daily incidents, even if it doesn’t lead to the victim reporting the incident.

I hesitated several times whilst starting to write this and contemplated just keeping it to myself, considering the crude nature of this incident. However, it has come to my attention that this is no longer becoming a ‘once in a blue moon issue’ and it could have easily been burdened on a child, family member, or another member of the public.

Looking back at the past struggles in history, since when has any change occurred from remaining silent?

A social norm by definition is a “repeated collective action/behaviour by members of a society.”

Frankly, I am just so sick of hearing many stories of women suffering from harassment (and I know some stories are more sensitive than this one) with little being done about it. Personally speaking, I will partially put some blame on myself if I let such a “repeated action” become a norm of this so called ‘western civilised society’ without having made an attempt, even if it’s a small one, on social media, by raising awareness on this issue.

– Y.E.

Location: London, UK

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea