I’ve had many very uncomfortable encounters when out in public in London. Here are a few that I want to share:

I was taking the bus one time and this man loudly starts asking me to sit next to him and refers to me as “darling”. He did this 3 or 4 times. I didn’t want to engage in conversation with him so I ignored him and left that bus at the next stop. He then loudly said “goodbye darling, have a nice day” as I left the bus. The whole encounter made me feel uncomfortable.

Another time on the tube this man who sat across kept staring at me. I thought at first it was just accidental eye contact but I realised it was full on and the whole time he wouldn’t take his eyes off me. He didn’t look zoned out either – he had a menacing look on his face and creeped the hell out of me. I felt so uncomfortable!

Another time on the tube this man starts talking to me and acting flirtatious and quite sexually aggressive. I began talking to him out of politeness and soon regretted it when he got very forward and I felt very uncomfortable. He then began harassing me for my number and I ended up giving him a fake one so I wouldn’t anger him/to get out of the situation.

In every situation it happened out of the blue, when my mind was very much focused on other things and I felt cheap/objectified each time. It also totally goes against this myth of how you dress affects how men act. Each experience in which I’ve been harassed (apart from club harassment stories) have happened when I have been dressed in long skirts with tights/trousers and wearing normal tops (and most of the time had a coat on). It’s ridiculous for people to still believe that how women dress excuses sexual harassment or to victim blame.

 Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

We need to tackle men’s attitudes to women. The objectification/hypersexualisation and dehumanisation of women is the real problem here. The woman’s body is viewed as a sexual object rather than part of a person. We need to re-educate men to not think this way and to respect women as people. The voyeurism is partly from pornography but also women’s bodies always being hyper-sexualised in the media.

We need to stop victim-blaming. It shouldn’t matter how someone is dressed. If I dress a certain way when I go out it doesn’t excuse sexually aggressive behaviour. I refuse to accept that dressing a certain way will even stop sexual harassment. From my own experiences it wasn’t enough for me to be dressed conservatively (which I was). Because the fact that I was a woman was enough for these men to feel entitled to treat me in such a way. The problem is men’s entitlement.

– Anonymous

Location: London, UK

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

Three times a week I take the bus home from my job as a nanny back to my house. The bus stop is located on a busy street, comprised of many people returning home from work at the end of the day. I am never waiting for more than about 10 minutes at this stop, and I can count at least 10 grown men staring at me from their cars every single day. These men range from men in pick up trucks, men in suits in fancy cars, or a group of 18 year old boys who think they’re going to impress or compliment me by smiling/nodding/staring/harassing me.

Today was the worst day; I’m a 22 year old woman and a 50 year old man yelled at me from three lanes over ʺI have an extra seat in my car for you!ʺ and smiled creepily. When I gave him a look of disgust he just laughed and rolled up his window. About five minutes later a group of three younger men rolled up and stared at me, one even having the audacity to stick his head out the window. Annoyed and tired of the harassment I said ʺCould you be a little more obvious?ʺ and they replied, ʺWe aren’t trying to beʺ and as they drove off yelled ʺsee you around.”

Do these idiots know how much this makes me hate riding the bus?

I have a RIGHT as a woman and a human being to utilize public transportation without being harassed. I have a RIGHT as a woman and a human being to read my book on a bench without being asked to hop in your car. I have a RIGHT as a woman and a human being not to be treated as an object. Obviously, these people don’t respect that.

These men don’t realize that this isn’t a funny joke. It’s not something I take lightly. I don’t like it, I don’t want it, LEAVE ME ALONE.

So frustrated and sick and tired and annoyed and done with people thinking that street harassment is a joke.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Have bus stops that are covered or at least somehow sheltered from the passing cars. The single bench on the side of the street makes me an ideal candidate to be yelled at.

– A

Location: Sydney, Australia

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

People laugh and make strange noises, bark like a dog, talk about how ugly or funny looking I am, insult my clothing or phone because I am poor. Yes even flat chested and/or “societies definition of ugly” or older women are just as tired of being made fun of as attractive and/or young women are tired of being hit on.

It is just as humiliating to be constantly made fun of as it is for an attractive woman to be hit on. It is very demeaning and contributes to lack of self esteem and self worth.

– Anonymous

Location: Western PA

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

I remember when I was running errands for my grandmother in her neighborhood. The part of the city she lives in is a bit questionable, but I always felt okay moving around in familiar areas during the day time. I was walking across a plaza on the way to her senior living apartment home when I saw two men standing near their car. They were several years older than me, probably in their 50’s or 60’s. I planned to make some distance between me and them and make no eye contact. They saw me immediately and made moves to get me to talk to them.

They wanted to know how I was and how pretty I looked and what a pretty girl was doing all alone. One of the men in particular was very interested in me. I told them, “Im fine. I’m just doing errands for my grandmother, I have to keep going.” Of course, they ask me if I was taken. Yes I am, with a wonderful boyfriend. The man interested in me looks rather annoyed at my answer and tries to convince me that somehow my boyfriend isn’t worth anything and how I need to go with him instead. He “promises” he would take me all sorts of places and offers to drive me up to my grandmother’s house. All this time, my warning bells have been going off and I realize that I needed to leave immediately. I tell them briskly that I don’t need the ride and that I have to leave now. So I leave.

I quickly make my way up to my grandmother’s house, still feeling nervous. Then all of a sudden, the two men’s car pulls up close to me. Their windows are rolled down and the two are looking at me with lewd looks on their faces. They’re trying to convince me to get into their car and talk to me, and now Im starting to feel frightened. I cant allow them to see me heading towards my grandmother’s apartment, so I simply walk away from them on a sidewalk path that led to more senior living apartments, since they wouldnt be able to follow me that way. I hid behind one of the buildings and did not come out until I was able to see their car drive off. I was frightened. I didn’t allow myself to leave my hiding spot for at least a good 5 minutes before heading back to my grandmother’s house. I certainly didn’t go back out for the rest of the day.

– Anonymous

Location: Hartford, CT

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea