I have never been grabbed by a stranger in my life.

I was walking around in the West Village after work today; talking with my mom on the phone about visiting Georgia at the end of the month. I had my headphones on, but I always keep one ear off, just to stay alert/aware of my surroundings. Even though the West Village is a family friendly, brownstone neighborhood, you honestly never know. Which brings me to this:

As I was talking with my mom, a man, obviously a bus boy of some kind because of his apron, walking in front of me. Did the usual up-and-down as I walked towards him. I kept my head down and continued walking, as I normally do. Because I was talking to my mom and not listening to music, I heard him call me “Sweet Baby.” Nothing out of the norm, usual annoyance.

Then, he grabbed my arm. He physically put his hand on me, this stranger. Immediately I figured out in a fight-or-flight situation, I’m fight.

I snapped around, with my headphones still on, practically yelling, pointed my finger in his face and said,

“Don’t you dare ever f**king touch a woman without her permission. Do you understand me?”

He froze. And said sorry with his hands up, and slowly backed away. I continued,

“Take this as a f**king lesson. Do not ever make a woman feel unsafe. Do not ever make anyone feel unsafe. Be fucking ashamed of yourself. Learn from this. Remember this.”

And as I was telling this to my brother, he made a really great point. Thank God I had that reaction. Because you never know what people are capable of, and if he had really intended to harm me, there’s only so far you can run. There’s only so much you can do if you freeze up, which is a lot of women’s natural reaction to a physical threat.

I got mad, I defended myself. And I felt really f**king good about it. And I never usually call people like that out, ever.

But the minute you put your hands on a stranger, male to female, male to male, female to male, you’ve got to fight. Because you never know what someone’s intentions are the minute they put their hands on you.

– Rebecca Florence

Location: West Village, NYC

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

I used to live in DC and the harassment is obnoxious. I have been followed with a video camera pointed at my butt while leaving a grocery store. I have had guys park their car and sit at the bus stop and harass me to get my number. One time when I was only 16, a metro bus driver in Northeast D.C flicked his tongue at me in a sexual way when I boarded the bus and when I got off of the bus. It made me feel so uncomfortable. I couldn’t believe that a grown man could behave like that even in a professional setting.

– RJ

Location: Washington, DC

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

The other night I went to visit my sister at her college, and the next night they were having a night out at a nearby rollerskating rink. I went with her and was desperately trying to teach her how to skate so I pulled her off to the side while we laughed at her clumsiness.

As I stood with my sister, an obnoxious guy skated by quickly and turned to face my sister and me as he called, “Hey there baby!” And laughed with his friend as they skated away. My first reaction was to think, “It’s a compliment, just take it as a compliment.” But the thing is, it’s NOT a compliment. Viewing me for my sexuality alone is not flattering! And more importantly, I do NOT have to accept it! I am entitled to my body, and no one else. I am fifteen years old, and that guy was probably at LEAST twenty!

Calling me things like “hot” or “sexy” or “baby or “princess” does not make me anymore interested in you. I hate the words hot and sexy, I absolutely LOATHE them. It is incredibly objectifying to call anyone a name based off of their sexuality alone and how they appeal to you in that way.

The only people who can call me ANYTHING are people who I CARE about, people who I know and think twice about. Not sick, perverted, raving rape culture enthusiasts on the street or otherwise. I wouldn’t even give that guy the time of day.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

The first thing we need to do is band together, we need to vow to stand with our sister/brother in the scenario that they are being harassed. The second thing we need to do is educate young boys and men about how to view and treat a woman, because I believe that is a fundamental issue in our society today.

– Brianna

Location: Greenville SC, at a rollerskating rink

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There weren’t very many people on the tram. I was wearing a black dress just above the knee and brown boots and jacket. Slutty? Why is that even part of the question- IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW GUYS TREAT US. I had a bag of groceries and I was tired.

This older guy, maybe late 40’s, kept looking at me. I was on my way home and the ride was a little long. I finally looked at him in the eyes hoping to get him to stop. With no holding back he looked up and down my body and into my eyes again. I looked away. I looked back and he was still staring. Finally I motioned “What?” to him and he came up to me! He asked me what the problem was and I asked him why he kept staring at me. I was a bit shocked he walked up to me…

Then he got closer and said, “NO, you were staring at ME.”

I was shaking by now, “Yes, to try and get YOU to stop.” I said.

He was yelling, “You were staring, should I call the authorities?”

I was baffled. What was this guy talking about? As if I were the one harassing him! “The difference is, I looked away.”

“So did I.” He argued loudly. (I know he had not. He stared at me the ENTIRE time.)

Finally 3 men came up and stood around us, one guy separated me and the other guy. I was so thankful my legs felt weak.

The rude guy finally left for the front of the tram. One of the guys made a comment that that same guy had been creeping on women before…
I almost wanted to cry. I don’t know why. I guess because of how the guy treated me. How weak I felt. I don’t know. I am usually pretty strong and things don’t usually bother me. I am still shaking just thinking about it even though nothing happened….

I got home and told my boyfriend about it and his response?

“Why did you give him attention?”

WHAT! It hurt that his response was saying I was in the wrong. I can’t believe it. I told him I didn’t give him attention, the guy gave ME attention and any normal person would look away in the same circumstance and this guy did the opposite… if I felt uncomfortable didn’t I have a right to try and get him to stop? I am so offended by how my boyfriend reacted the feelings have come rushing back as fresh as if the event had just happened. (It happened an hour ago.)

I felt more security from the guy who stood between me and the disgusting guy than I did telling my own boyfriend. I am so confused over that.
He told me I should have just looked away. I explained that I had but the guy was blatantly staring at me. I had a right to try and get him to stop. If I felt uncomfortable I was not in the wrong to stand up for myself. People make eye contact on a regular basis- but usually they look away. They don’t keep staring.

We all have common courtesy and this guy did not show me this at all.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

More women standing up and saying NO. By staying silent it will continue. Even having someone stare- there is a cultural accepted amount of time for eye contact. A person doesn’t have a right to look at someone else as if they are a piece of meat. SAY SOMETHING. If it escalates get authorities. This person obviously needs to be reminded that it is NOT okay and needs to be put straight.

– E. Nicole

Location: Yarra Trams, Coburg, VIC

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea