Today someone catcalled to me for the first time in my life. I am 15 and my friends who were with me are also in high school in a small town in New England. We are on the cross country team and were out in the middle of a run. We were at a crosswalk waiting for all the cars around us at the intersection to have a red light so we could cross. The lane nearest to us was already stopped. A man pulled his car up and rolled down the windows. He looked about 25-30 years old, nearly twice my age. He yelled “Hey, beautiful girls,” in what he seemed to think was a sexy voice.

I looked to my friends to see if they knew this man and they looked just as bewildered as I did. He kept talking, “No answer? Come on pretty babies come see me. I have some beautiful healthy genetics! Wanna see?” I glared at this man, full of hatred. Finally the light turned green and he repeated, “Beautiful healthy genetics!” as he laughed.

I found it so disgusting and offensive, and never would have expected it in the middle of the day in a small New England town. Afterwards I immediately and deeply regretted not looking at his license plate so I could report him.

Now I want to know, is there anything we can do to stop catcallers?

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Make catcalling illegal.

– Anonymous

Location: Massachusetts

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The bus was overly crowded. I was pushed up against other people and I had trouble staying upright. My arm was already aching from holding onto the overhead bar for dear life, trying to keep myself from falling on top of the people in front of me, a group of men sitting on a long-ish seating facing the back. I noticed them looking at me, but I decided it’d be best to ignore them.

I was with a male friend and I was excited because we were going to watch a movie. Our stop arrived and I scrambled to squeeze out, as did the men sitting in front of me. Just as I’d reached the exit, one of the men came up behind me and grabbed my butt. I was disgusted and whirled around to yell at him, but the crowd was already pushing me out.

I got off scowling and muttering curses under my breath, unable to see which one of the men had grabbed me through the crowd thronging around the bus, desperate to get on. My friend asked me what was wrong but I knew he would start a fight if I told him so I kept quiet. However I couldn’t quite shake off that feeling that’s all too familiar to anyone who’s had their personal space violated. I was walking along, still fuming, so my friend kept asking me why I was so mad. I told him and he asked why I hadn’t told him right then and there. I explained to him I didn’t want him to start a fight, to which he replied, “Then stop being angry. It’s no use being mad over it now”.

I tried to explain how I couldn’t just shrug it off like it was nothing. I could still feel his hand on me, and I felt helpless and violated. I kept trying to explain it to my friend, but he refused to listen and we just ended up fighting. Needless to say, my night was ruined, just for a fleeting moment of satisfaction for one lecherous fellow passenger.

– S.T.

Location: Nepal

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I have never been grabbed by a stranger in my life.

I was walking around in the West Village after work today; talking with my mom on the phone about visiting Georgia at the end of the month. I had my headphones on, but I always keep one ear off, just to stay alert/aware of my surroundings. Even though the West Village is a family friendly, brownstone neighborhood, you honestly never know. Which brings me to this:

As I was talking with my mom, a man, obviously a bus boy of some kind because of his apron, walking in front of me. Did the usual up-and-down as I walked towards him. I kept my head down and continued walking, as I normally do. Because I was talking to my mom and not listening to music, I heard him call me “Sweet Baby.” Nothing out of the norm, usual annoyance.

Then, he grabbed my arm. He physically put his hand on me, this stranger. Immediately I figured out in a fight-or-flight situation, I’m fight.

I snapped around, with my headphones still on, practically yelling, pointed my finger in his face and said,

“Don’t you dare ever f**king touch a woman without her permission. Do you understand me?”

He froze. And said sorry with his hands up, and slowly backed away. I continued,

“Take this as a f**king lesson. Do not ever make a woman feel unsafe. Do not ever make anyone feel unsafe. Be fucking ashamed of yourself. Learn from this. Remember this.”

And as I was telling this to my brother, he made a really great point. Thank God I had that reaction. Because you never know what people are capable of, and if he had really intended to harm me, there’s only so far you can run. There’s only so much you can do if you freeze up, which is a lot of women’s natural reaction to a physical threat.

I got mad, I defended myself. And I felt really f**king good about it. And I never usually call people like that out, ever.

But the minute you put your hands on a stranger, male to female, male to male, female to male, you’ve got to fight. Because you never know what someone’s intentions are the minute they put their hands on you.

– Rebecca Florence

Location: West Village, NYC

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I used to live in DC and the harassment is obnoxious. I have been followed with a video camera pointed at my butt while leaving a grocery store. I have had guys park their car and sit at the bus stop and harass me to get my number. One time when I was only 16, a metro bus driver in Northeast D.C flicked his tongue at me in a sexual way when I boarded the bus and when I got off of the bus. It made me feel so uncomfortable. I couldn’t believe that a grown man could behave like that even in a professional setting.

– RJ

Location: Washington, DC

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The other night I went to visit my sister at her college, and the next night they were having a night out at a nearby rollerskating rink. I went with her and was desperately trying to teach her how to skate so I pulled her off to the side while we laughed at her clumsiness.

As I stood with my sister, an obnoxious guy skated by quickly and turned to face my sister and me as he called, “Hey there baby!” And laughed with his friend as they skated away. My first reaction was to think, “It’s a compliment, just take it as a compliment.” But the thing is, it’s NOT a compliment. Viewing me for my sexuality alone is not flattering! And more importantly, I do NOT have to accept it! I am entitled to my body, and no one else. I am fifteen years old, and that guy was probably at LEAST twenty!

Calling me things like “hot” or “sexy” or “baby or “princess” does not make me anymore interested in you. I hate the words hot and sexy, I absolutely LOATHE them. It is incredibly objectifying to call anyone a name based off of their sexuality alone and how they appeal to you in that way.

The only people who can call me ANYTHING are people who I CARE about, people who I know and think twice about. Not sick, perverted, raving rape culture enthusiasts on the street or otherwise. I wouldn’t even give that guy the time of day.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

The first thing we need to do is band together, we need to vow to stand with our sister/brother in the scenario that they are being harassed. The second thing we need to do is educate young boys and men about how to view and treat a woman, because I believe that is a fundamental issue in our society today.

– Brianna

Location: Greenville SC, at a rollerskating rink

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