There weren’t very many people on the tram. I was wearing a black dress just above the knee and brown boots and jacket. Slutty? Why is that even part of the question- IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW GUYS TREAT US. I had a bag of groceries and I was tired.

This older guy, maybe late 40’s, kept looking at me. I was on my way home and the ride was a little long. I finally looked at him in the eyes hoping to get him to stop. With no holding back he looked up and down my body and into my eyes again. I looked away. I looked back and he was still staring. Finally I motioned “What?” to him and he came up to me! He asked me what the problem was and I asked him why he kept staring at me. I was a bit shocked he walked up to me…

Then he got closer and said, “NO, you were staring at ME.”

I was shaking by now, “Yes, to try and get YOU to stop.” I said.

He was yelling, “You were staring, should I call the authorities?”

I was baffled. What was this guy talking about? As if I were the one harassing him! “The difference is, I looked away.”

“So did I.” He argued loudly. (I know he had not. He stared at me the ENTIRE time.)

Finally 3 men came up and stood around us, one guy separated me and the other guy. I was so thankful my legs felt weak.

The rude guy finally left for the front of the tram. One of the guys made a comment that that same guy had been creeping on women before…
I almost wanted to cry. I don’t know why. I guess because of how the guy treated me. How weak I felt. I don’t know. I am usually pretty strong and things don’t usually bother me. I am still shaking just thinking about it even though nothing happened….

I got home and told my boyfriend about it and his response?

“Why did you give him attention?”

WHAT! It hurt that his response was saying I was in the wrong. I can’t believe it. I told him I didn’t give him attention, the guy gave ME attention and any normal person would look away in the same circumstance and this guy did the opposite… if I felt uncomfortable didn’t I have a right to try and get him to stop? I am so offended by how my boyfriend reacted the feelings have come rushing back as fresh as if the event had just happened. (It happened an hour ago.)

I felt more security from the guy who stood between me and the disgusting guy than I did telling my own boyfriend. I am so confused over that.
He told me I should have just looked away. I explained that I had but the guy was blatantly staring at me. I had a right to try and get him to stop. If I felt uncomfortable I was not in the wrong to stand up for myself. People make eye contact on a regular basis- but usually they look away. They don’t keep staring.

We all have common courtesy and this guy did not show me this at all.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

More women standing up and saying NO. By staying silent it will continue. Even having someone stare- there is a cultural accepted amount of time for eye contact. A person doesn’t have a right to look at someone else as if they are a piece of meat. SAY SOMETHING. If it escalates get authorities. This person obviously needs to be reminded that it is NOT okay and needs to be put straight.

– E. Nicole

Location: Yarra Trams, Coburg, VIC

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

I was at the store with my sisters, and as we were coming out, we were waiting to cross the street, and these two guys were staring at us in a car across the street waiting to turn, talking about something. As they turned the corner, one of them yelled out the window “Ay yo ma, let me get your number!” It was weird and annoying.

– Anonymous

Location: WalMart

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

I was walking in the street, just a block away from my house. I see this young boy, probably thirteen, around my little brother’s age. As he comes close to me, he starts running, and grabs my boobs. I was so shocked I didn’t do anything, and he continue running.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Educate our male family members and friends about respect for women.

– Daniela

Location: Managua

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

I was waiting at my bus stop listening to music on my iPod when a man approached me.  I heard him telling me I looked good, but I continued to listen to my music and wait for my bus.  He grabbed me and kissed my cheek and told me I was coming home with him.  I told him no and looked around as others waiting at the bus stop watched what was happening.

He grabbed me again and I told him no again and to stop and looked at everyone watching, hoping someone would step in but nobody did.  One man looked like he was going to say something but he just looked at the ground and pretended he didn’t see what was happening.

I felt scared and I wasn’t sure what this man was going to do next.  He kept yelling at me and finally my bus arrived and I ran onto it.  I never waited at that bus stop again after that day.

– K

Location: Minneapolis, MN

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea