Last month Lindsey, the creator of Cards Against Harassment, wrote about her project for our blog.

She’s handed out her cards to 25-30 harassers since then!

Via Buzzfeed:

“She believes her method isn’t for everyone or every situation, especially when personal safety is at risk. But for her, the experience has been an opportunity to tell a man something he may have never heard before.

“The theme I hear the most often is that they truly, genuinely think it’s a compliment. and they are shocked,” she said. “If that is true, then simply telling people it’s not a compliment may go a long way.”

The Buzzfeed article also posts videos Lindsey shot of her talking to some of her harassers. Note, the men’s reactions may be upsetting. Here is one of the videos –

WAY TO GO LINDSEY for providing us with an empowering way to talk back to our harassers and for exposing the mentality behind some of these men’s behavior.

My two friends and I were not old enough to drive, which is why we walked to the coffee shop three blocks from our building. A man walking towards us whistled our way. I responded, ʺ*uck you, we aren’t puppies.” He then asked, “Where is this sexy gaggle of girls going?”

– MM

Location: Minneapolis, MN

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

I was walking casually downtown with a male friend of mine who came to visit the area and his family. We were walking along in a section along 4th Street and between Pike & Pine I believe and this man who looked like a drug addict walked towards us and stood within hearing distance and then started grumbling and practically hissing (I don’t remember his exact wording) that my male friend was a lesser man because he was walking with his woman who was clearly making him subservient to herself. Evidently I was a terrible woman because I was bending him to my will and he was a terrible man because I was crushing him with my feminine magical powers and he didn’t have the balls to put me in my place…. Or something.

He was ANGRY for no damn reason other than a man was walking with a woman. His stance and tone were so aggressive I was bracing for him to get physical with us.

I don’t know if he was trying to harass me or my male friend or both. I don’t walk in that area any longer. The number of streets downtown that I can usually reliably walk on without getting harassed … are becoming scarce.

– Anonymous

Location: Seattle, WA

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

As the daughter of a single working mother and father consumed with the highs and lows of owning a business, I was highly dependent upon public transportation while growing up. Needless to say, I have become all too familiar with the unwanted staring, suggestive comments, gestures, honking and whistling that come with traveling alone as a girl in the Maryland suburban outskirts of DC. My mother would constantly advise me to “ugly up” before going out in public; skip the makeup, trade the jeans for sweatpants, cover up as much skin as humanly possible, all to avoid attention from men of all ages and counteract what far too many people classify as a their “innate urges.”

The more I grow up, however, the more I realize that I am not unique in my experiences with people my mother classifies as “creepers,” and nor is she in her good intentioned advice. Cases as benign as staring and gesturing and as severe as rape have become increasingly frowned upon by society and censured by the media. The question of how to put an end to society’s age old rape culture has become more pressing as such news and statistics become more readily available to the public.

Many, like my mother, argue that women should dress more modestly to avoid unwanted attention and potential aggression in public. Rape culture and street harassment have become an everyday reality for women across the nation. As a result, many advise girls from a young age to take steps to avoid the unwanted attention and potential abuse.

This perspective, however, fails to solve the true cause of the problem. By telling our daughters and younger sisters to dress decently to avoid unwanted attention and potential abuse, we accept rape and the degradation of women as a norm, and thereby, perpetuate rape culture rather than move toward ending it. Telling girls to take active measures to avoid rape is inadequate and counterintuitive solution to a problem that women have faced for centuries and by doing so, we are moving away from progress and clinging to the patriarchal values that activists have worked so hard overcome.

It is the duty of the free and modern world to promote not only proactive counter measures against abuse in our girls, but also instill self-control in boys and nurture the idea of respecting for women from the beginning. We must continue to deny the idea that men cannot control themselves in the presence of a woman; we must castigate all those who continue to hold these parochial beliefs in the twenty first century, because they are the reason women’s rights continue to be an unresolved issue; and we must no longer make excuses for their behavior by saying ‘well, boys will be boys’ because by doing so, society is accomplishing nothing but allowing their behavior to continue.

If I ever have a son, I will instill in him respect for women from a young age and stop the cycle of excuse-making and victim-blaming. If I ever have a daughter, I will most likely take a different approach than the one my mother did; I will clearly explain the realities of society and the fact that dressing provocatively can bring about unwanted attention, but I will never force her to conform by suggesting that she dress in a certain way for men. Hopefully, by the time I have a son or daughter, though, sexual violence will be less of an issue than it was while I was growing up.

– Shiran Zecharya

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas