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USA: #YouOkSis Street Harassment Tweet Chat

July 14, 2014 By Correspondent

Kirstin Kelly, Monterey, California, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

As an editor for The Women’s International Perspective, I often find myself involved in Twitter chats and campaigns that deal with social issues, especially issues pertaining to the treatment of women around the world.  On July 11, I participated in one such chat using #YouOKSis (here is the recap). It quickly became clear that this was not your ordinary Twitter chat.

The sheer numbers of trolls and naysayers making themselves heard was truly astounding.  The #YouOKSis chat was intended to be a discussion about street harassment faced by Black women.  In particular, it called for men of color to engage in bystander intervention when they witness women of color being harassed.  These kinds of conversations are important.  Stop Street Harassment’s recent National Street Harassment Report demonstrated that persons of color face harassment at higher rates than their white counterparts and that overwhelmingly it is men who do the harassing, regardless of the victims’ gender.

The #YouOKSis chat aimed to address this problem on two fronts.  It first and foremost provided a space for women of color to share their experiences.  #YesAllWomen, a campaign in which I also took part, similarly invited women to share their experiences.  However, it did not address how race plays a role in a person’s experience with street harassment the way #YouOKSis did.  The second critical component of the #YouOKSis chat which is largely absent from other similar conversations is that it attempted to educate men on how they can actively become part of the solution by intervening on behalf of people facing harassment.

Participating in both of these conversations provided me with a tiny window into the complexities of issues that are both racial and gendered.  #YouOKSis drew a level of harassment I could not have expected.  Not only were people complaining in the usual manner that women sharing their experiences were creating problems where previously there hadn’t been any, being whiny, or failing to recognize that not everyone is guilty of harassment, but many of them were critiquing participants for turning on their own race.

The viciousness of these attacks is exactly why campaigns like #YouOKSis are important.  We need to do more to create safe spaces for people to share their stories about how race, sexism, and classism affect their lives because without fostering a better dialogue, any attempt made to solve these problems will be limited by the experiences of the organizers.

Furthermore, a lot of the criticism was coming from men who felt attacked, pointing out that not all men are guilty.  To me, it seemed the larger point of the conversation was not to hate on men for harassing women, but rather to help educate men that are not allies yet and to further empower those that already are by giving them more to go on than simply “don’t harass people.”  For social issues that are gendered, engaging the entire population, those with group identities most common to aggressors is critical.  Male allies are just as important to changing the norms of acceptable behavior as women; they do make up half the population after all!

My guess is that allies both from within and outside of racial groups are similarly critical in creating the changes that are so desperately needed.

Kirstin is a Master’s Student in Nonproliferation and Terrorism Studies at the Monterey Institute of International Studies and a news editor at the Women’s International Perspective (The WIP). You can follower her on Twitter at @KirstinKelley1, where she regularly posts about human rights issues around the world.

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Filed Under: correspondents, Stories, street harassment

“Who do you think you are?”

July 14, 2014 By Contributor

I was 14 and walking down the street to the local store, and a guy drove by slowing and whistled at me. I brazenly yelled, “Shut the fuck up!” to which he frighteningly yelled back, “Who do you think you are??! Fucking bitch! You aren’t even all that!” and threatened to get out of his car. Luckily he drove off, but it was a close call that could have ended very violently.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Educate men all throughout school that it’s NOT OK, and have all men  go through mandatory sexual harassment situations.

– RS

Location: San Pedro, CA

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“Perhaps they wanted my autograph”

July 13, 2014 By Contributor

Once again walking to my train along a main road. It’s summer.. so why am I wearing a suit jacket, knee-length skirt plus a scarf? Here’s why.

Along come two white vans. First one – no problems. Second one has three men in it who decide to start honking the horn, windows down, screaming at me over my headphones (which I use as a blocker).

Perhaps they wanted my autograph. Unfortunately all they got was me flipping the bird.

God I am SICK of this.

– SJJ

Location: Treforest, Wales, UK

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“I’m too old for this shit”

July 13, 2014 By Contributor

Recently, a man drove past me as I was getting in my car. My car has had a ding in the front fender for several years. He called me Sweetie. He shouted for me to let him fix my car, explained that he didn’t have a business car, but that he worked at a body shop, but didn’t want to say which one, and that he was trying to save me a lot of money by banging out the ding on the street right that moment, if I would only let him, and that he would charge me a certain amount of money, but if that was too much, how much was I willing to offer. He was relentless.

He pulled up next to me, with a passive, much younger female in the passenger seat, who never looked at me. I said NO from the start, clearly and distinctly. I said: No, thank you, I’m not interested, I’ve had this ding for years and it doesn’t bother me, I don’t understand the process of what you want to do to my car, and I don’t know you, or where you work, or who you are.

Finally, after growing more and more irate, he drove away super aggressively, furious in his face, body language, driving. I felt assaulted. He started off calling me Sweetie, and yelling/patronizing/berating me that I should let him do something for me, or else I was in the wrong. It felt exactly like dates I’ve had where I was treated with rage for saying NO. A few days later, I was unloading my massage table (I’m a licensed massage therapist) from my car, and a very young man, perhaps half my age (I am 46), asked if I would like some help. I’ve unloaded my table thousands of times after fourteen years in practice. I am twice this kids age. Still, he got angry, too, and turned on his heel, and angrily said, “I was only trying to help you!”

Two times where men/boys were trying to help me and furious at me for not allowing them. The age difference added insult to injury for me. I’d actually prefer to be called ma’am then this crap. I used to be street harassed constantly in the summer, due to having a curvy figure, and am thrilled with growing more invisible with getting older. I’m too old for this shit.

– Anonymous

Location: Seattle, WA

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“I’m sorry, I said I am busy”

July 12, 2014 By Contributor

I was taking the MARTA from my university (other alumni and current students would recognize which one right away) back to my car to drive home, and it was winter. It got dark a little faster, and sometimes male classmates would offer to walk some of us women to the station to avoid harassment. But I got on the train, and sat down and started flipping through some worksheets I had been given for homework. All of a sudden I hear, “Hey girl what’s your name?” and I said, “Sorry, I am busy” because I knew he wanted more than just a pleasant conversation from his gaze.

“I said what’s your name.” No question mark there. I didn’t reply. “Where you from?” “What’s your phone number?” I finally snapped my head up and looked him straight in the eyes and said, “I’m sorry, I said I am busy” in a stern voice.

I was then SCREAMED at, “FUCK YOU FUCK YOU STUPID BITCH” for the next 3 stops until he got off the train. The train was full. Everyone was staring and no one interfered. I wanted to cry, but I was too scared to react. I will never, ever forget that evening.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Post anti-harassment posters in public transportation. I think they might shame some people, maybe encourage others to interfere, but probably not others. Teach men how to approach a woman like an adult and that women are people with feelings too, not objects to scream “fuck you” at when encountering rejection.

– EB

Location: City Train Line

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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