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“These sexually aggressive taunts make me fear other possibilities”

April 10, 2014 By Contributor

I am a female Peace Corps Volunteer currently serving in Guatemala. I am harassed on a daily basis. Most of it includes kiss-y noises, whistles, cat calls and creepy men trying to initiate conversation. Sometimes it is a man hovering closely over me on a crowded bus and forcing me into a conversation until I can get away to an empty seat. Sometimes it is vulgar sexual phrases (in English or Spanish) being yelled in my direction as I walk past.

Here, I am constantly on high alert. I am very aware of men walking around me, standing outside their stores or their homes so they can scan me up and down. I cross streets abruptly to avoid them, avoid certain streets altogether, actively look for seating or walking space near women and I always, always carry a full, heavy water bottle just in case it comes down to having to smack someone across the face.

For me, these sexually aggressive taunts make me fear other possibilities of risks to my safety. The thought of a street harassment perpetrator in one moment becoming a sexual assailant in the next is never far from my mind. I don’t always feel safe.

My mobility and freedom is definitely restricted. I think about the possibility of being harassed and to what degree everyday as I prepare myself to leave the house. I try my best to ignore it most of the time but there have been moments when I have been too overwhelmed with anger to simply keep walking and that usually results in me yelling out an expletive and giving the finger and then immediately bolting away. That is another downside of fighting for my dignity, the fact that dealing with street harassment, or “piropos”, is just a part of life for women here and challenging it so aggressively puts me at risk since the machista culture breeds men that think they can treat women however they want, whenever they want and without any consequences.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Educate young men and women in your communities about respect, personal space and mobility as a human right. Correct behaviors when you can and when it is safe to do so. Express frustrations and grief with men you can trust and hope that they will as least modify their behaviors to influence others.

– Female PCV

Location: Guatemala

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“Just stop shouting your greetings from cars”

April 10, 2014 By Contributor

My commute to work should be free of harassment, yet it is not. Don’t you know I have to drive to a different park and ride (10 miles away) to catch a bus that lets me off in front of my work place because the park and ride less than 2 miles away from where I live that bus will let me off in a part of downtown LA where street harassers are awake early with their stares and salutations?

I am bringing awareness to this because it is happening to my daughters as well. It’s creepy and scary. A women/child walking down the street is not a free for all. Men need to have respect and mind there own business. Yes don’t even speak because it’s an invitation to something else almost always. If we speak back you will ask for money or God knows what else. If we don’t speak we are labeled as mean or stuck up.

No, we are scared.

Just stop!

Now in a public setting (Starbucks, Target, public building, ect.) it’s okay to say hello, hold a door or elevator. Just stop shouting your greetings from cars or at every woman you see walking. She’s walking. She has a destination and I am sure she and her family want her there safely. I’m getting tired.

– Anonymous

Location: Los Angeles, CA

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“I am fed up with men thinking this kind of behavior is okay”

April 9, 2014 By Contributor

Every day I would take the subway to work, get off at 68 Street Hunter College, then walk a couple blocks to my work place. I was 20 at the time, wearing professional work clothes. On a good day, I would only be stared at. However, most days, a man somewhere, whether on the train, walking down the street, or leaving the subway, would make some kind of comment, noise, or gesture toward me. I learned which streets to avoid due to experiences with men yelling at me or inappropriate staring.

A particularly unsettling occurrence happened on the subway train on my way to work one morning last summer. I was standing on the crowded train, attempting to lean against the side of the train, as it made a sharp turn and I lost my balance. I stumbled a little and regained my balance quickly. I was fine and didn’t need any help, but unfortunately a man decided this was the opportunity to move in and force me into conversation.

The train had cleared out after the first few stops, so I sat down in the seat closest to the door, keeping my eyes to the floor. A man with his bike, probably 15 or so years older than me, was holding onto the pole directly in front of me and wouldn’t stop staring at me. I was clearly not interested in talking to anyone, but he asked me if I was okay and needed any help. I told him I was fine, leaving it at that, but he persisted and started talking again. I don’t remember exactly what he was talking about, something to do with his bike, but then he started staring at my legs and telling me how “sexy” and “fine” they were. I didn’t know what to say and felt grossed out, so ended up awkwardly laughing and ignoring him, even though he continued to stare at me the entire time I was still on the train.

The worst part was that the train was delayed and was taking forever to get to the next stop, where I could escape. After he made the comment about my legs, I ignored him and waited for what seemed like forever, finally getting to my stop and running off the train. I never rode the train without headphones in again, even if I wasn’t listening to music.

Things like this still happen all the time when I go to NYC, yelling, staring, lewd comments, whistling, and other atrocities. It doesn’t matter what area you are in, it happens everywhere. I am fed up with men thinking this kind of behavior is okay. Do they seriously think they are going to attract women in this way? It makes me sick.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Please raise awareness and tell people that this is not okay. My boyfriend wasn’t aware of how bad street harassment is in NYC until I told him the stories of my daily commute. Let people know it is not right and that it makes people feel disgusted, worthless, and unsafe! It is not a compliment if you are yelling at someone on the street.

– Anonymous

Location: NYC

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“How it’s just humiliating”

April 8, 2014 By Contributor

I am 16 years old and I am from the United Kingdom. I get beeped at pretty much everyday. I get wolf whistled at. I got beeped at last week and whistled at this week. I have had ‘get your tits out’ shouted at me from guys in their cars. I had a man say to me when I was in my school uniform ‘you’re going to be gorgeous when you’re older’. I had a creepy guy try and chat me up in Starbucks, he was standing way to close to me telling me to buy him a drink and when I looked at the staff for help they didn’t acknowledge me. I had an incident with a taxi driver who would touch my arm and hand excessively and ask me if I had facebook and did I live with my parents. A lad who used to go to my primary commented on the colour of my bra and kept asking me what I was doing that night. I have had builders stare at me. A drunk guy told me he loved me. My last encounter happened the other day, I was on my way in to town as I had a two-and-a-half hour college break until my last lesson and this man said ‘How you doing, looking nice’.

I have never said anything back, I just walk along. At the beginning, if I’m honest I found it complimentary but now it’s just humiliating and makes me feel self conscious.

– Courtenay

Location: Bolton, UK

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“Public harassment in grocery stores has become so common”

April 7, 2014 By Contributor

Public harassment in grocery stores has become so common. Men seem to think this is a place they can stare at your body parts while pretending to stare at the food. I was I the PCC in Edmonds WA at 4pm today. Some 60 year old man stands in the middle of the produce isle with his hands in his pockets staring right at me. Does not even pretend to be shopping. Still stood there staring when I went to the next row. I tried to tell the produce clerk but he was an asshole. Told me I should go ask the guy what his problem is. Right. I don’t even consider this to be ignorant desperate losers any longer. It’s intimidation. They hate and intimidate women around them wherever they go.

– NB

Location: PCC, Edmonds, Washington

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