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“A man grabbed my butt”

April 7, 2014 By Contributor

I was walking down the street in Accra, Ghana, with a group of about ten other American’s, both males and females. It was about 9 pm, but we had made this walk about a hundred times over the course of about a year, so I wasn’t concerned for our safety. We stopped at a traffic light, waiting to cross the street, when a man grabbed my butt and asked if I “liked to be licked”. I was so horrified and humiliated, I couldn’t respond. None of my friends had seen. I just stood there and pretended like nothing had happened. Eventually, we were able to cross the street, away from that man.

– Shae B.

Location: Accra, Ghana

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“Sometimes… I just stay away!!”

April 7, 2014 By Contributor

I’m a Transfemale sex worker doing street-based sex work and get harrassed on a regular basis, it seems to me like second nature already!!! Worse is the fact that I’m HIV positive and sometimes on my way to the clinic the police harass me saying I’m working in the day and need to get off the street! Then there’s the part of the community that does not agree with my choice of identity and will irratate me as I walk to the clinic, which sometimes makes me come late for appointments or just stay away!!!

– Miss. Leigh Davids

Location: Suburbs, Cape Town, South Africa

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“This was my first sexual contact”

April 6, 2014 By Contributor

I remember I was 14 years old and still in that awkward looking stage where I felt uncomfortable with my changing body. I was sitting at a Border’s reading a book when I noticed an old man looking at me a few feet away. I tried not to react too much but as the minutes passed by, he kept staring. Finally when I was about to get up from my chair and leave he approached me. I frowned and was about to say something when he leaned in really close and started to rub himself against my arm. This was my first sexual contact with someone else and I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t start to yell at the pervert or make a scene of any kind. I just sat there, frozen, until he left a few seconds later. To this day I’m completely embarrassed that I didn’t do anything during that time considering that I was in a crowded bookstore and not alone with him in some back alley.

– Alyssa

Location: Border’s Store

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“We should teach them differently”

April 5, 2014 By Contributor

I don’t have a story, I have stories. Lots of stories. I don’t have time to tell you all of them, and you don’t have time to read all of them. I do have a small selection. All men (and women, too) should know that the following is NOT OK:

– Walking past a woman and shouting, “Daaaammmmn,” while rolling your eyes over her.

– Walking past a woman and stopping in front of her to stare at her chest.

– Coming up to a woman to tell her: “You make me so horny.”

– Grabbing a woman’s ass as she walks by.

– Walking circles around a woman (or, at the time, a teenager) while masturbating.

– Flashing your genitals at a woman.

– Pointing at a woman when she walks by and talking about her like she won’t hear a thing. This isn’t a compliment. It doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me feel objectified. It makes me feel anxious to walk past group of men. It makes me feel dirty.

When you walk up to me and tell me that I’m making you so hot, right there and then, it makes me feel like you just raped my mind. Sure, I like compliments. And sure, I can take a compliment. Yelling that I make you hot is NOT a compliment.

Touching me is NOT a compliment.

There is a person inside this body. Please address her. Tell her that you’re sorry for being so forward, but that you think she looks beautiful and that you just wanted to say that. She will be delighted to take your compliment. THAT is a compliment. THAT is something to cherish, and THAT is something that will make me smile. The response you get in return will be a lot better, I promise.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Raising awareness! It seems a lot of men genuinely don’t realise the hurtful things they say and honestly think they’re giving compliments. And even if they don’t, it’s just what’s normal for them because they don’t know different. We should teach them differently.

– N.S.

Location: Everywhere

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“It made me angry every single day”

April 5, 2014 By Contributor

I was in a new city, in a new country, working a school-sponsored internship. On my college student budget, I figured I could easily do the mile walk and save myself the fare for a second bus and get a little extra exercise. This thrifty decision taught me that a lack of respect for women knows no international borders!

Four times a week, I made this walk. Every single week, at least two of these four times, I encountered some form of street harassment. Catcalls, honks, men pulling over their cars and trying to talk to me, you name it. They always avoided physical contact, so I didn’t think it was worthy of complaint, but it made me angry every single day.

As an adult, I should be able to walk down a street, in broad daylight, dressed in professional attire and feel comfortable. I never did. I felt embarrassed, dehumanized, exploited, and never, ever flattered.

The thing that made me most angry was the futility of this action that made me so uncomfortable. Did they think I would stop and offer them sex, right there on the street? Or even a date? Does any women ever do that? Did they think that’s the way to woo a woman? Did they think I liked it?

– Anonymous

Location: London, UK

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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