Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“An incident that left me terrified to leave my apartment”

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Being harassed on the streets of NYC has been a common occurrence in my life since before I was 13 years old.
The summer that I turned 21, there was an incident that left me terrified to leave my apartment and having violent nightmares every night.

A group of 6+ men were hanging out and eating on the street corner across from my subway stop. As I walked past, one of them lunged at me. When I jumped away, all of them started laughing. I fled. The one who lunged called after me, “Hey slut, nice hair.”

I had never met or seen these men before. I am not a slut. I was not dressed provocatively (not that what I was wearing should give them any excuse). I did not “ask for it.”

What I did do was run to my apartment, lock every door and window, and sit shaking and crying in my room.

Even though they haven’t been on the street corner since, I see them almost every day in my nightmares and in the faces of all the men who have harassed me since.

– SW

Location: Jackson Heights, NY

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“They ALWAYS seem to travel in packs when they harass me”

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I’ve been dealing with street harassment by both men and teenage boys all of my life; more times than I can count. I’ve also noticed women being groped and verbally abused in public which makes me feel powerless to do anything about it. I’ve been verbally abused in public places of all kinds. I’ve been called “bitch”, “ho”(i.e.whore) countless times and, have endured men and teenage boys making sexual remarks about my body throughout my life.

One thing that I’ve noticed with them is that they ALWAYS seem to travel in packs when they harass me and other women. If they’re alone, they don’t bother me or, other women. It’s as though they’re trying to impress their “boys” when they’re verbally abusing me and other women in public. I usually just ignore it.

However, I also remember being whistled at once by some guy when I was about 22 yrs. old. That time, I fought back and, I can’t recall what exactly I said but, I told him something to the effect of I didn’t like what he did and he needed to stop. I think I remember he apologized. I remember feeling very empowered when I fought back!

I also am verbal abused by men when I drive. I’m called a “bitch” alot. I guess they feel big knowing that they tried to hurt my self-esteem when they can just call me a derogatory term and, speed away which is what they do after they’ve cursed me. All of the verbal abuse and harassment that I’ve endured over the yrs. as contributed to the hatred that I have for men/boys (especially Black men/boys since I’m a Black women who’s lived in Black communities all of my life and, Black males are usually the culprits of verbal abuse that I’ve endured). I usually don’t get harassed by any other race of males other than Black males.

– Amanda

Location: Countless places

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#HoundsAgainstHarassment in California

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My dog Sapphire is taking part in Hounds against Harassment for International Anti – Street Harassment Week… She is doing her part to protect me against Street Harassment each day. Just yesterday she protected me from two men that were street harassing me. It’s time to make Street Harassment illegal so that we can feel safe no matter where we go or what we do!!!

– Tanya in California

Send in your #HoundsAgainstHarassment photos to hkearl@stopstreetharassment.org!

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Queer in Public: Focusing on the Good

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Guest Post by Court Baxter for International Anti-Street Harassment Week

Photo by Eliza Buckley

“I bet you love to go down on each other. Do you eat her out?”

This was my welcome to New York.  Walking down the street in Union Square holding hands with my girlfriend, two hours after I had landed in New York City to visit her, a stranger whispered this close behind us as we crossed E. 17th street before swiftly disappearing.  The next night, another belligerent man yelled at us from across the square.  A month later, a man asking for money stood closely behind us as I refilled my metro card and whispered homophobic expletives.

That was my proverbial straw.  Now, I’ve never been much of a wallflower, but we — women, the queer community, minority groups–  are often taught that responding to the slew and sewage of street harassment isn’t always worth our time.  It is not always safe.  So despite my activist impulses, my inner rage, and the weight of deep sadness in which I felt I could do nothing to protect this person who I loved so wholeheartedly from that harassment (let alone protect myself), I stayed quiet.  I always stayed quiet.  I would cry later, after these incidents, and try to direct my anger in a way that felt healthy and cathartic.  It was a survival mechanism – figurative and literal – because as we know, responding in the moment isn’t always an option and in this day and age (despite swift cultural change)  fear of attack or death is alarmingly real.  So we learn to deal.  We internalize.  We do what we have to do.

Photo by Court Baxter

It was soon after the man in the subway station when I decided that I couldn’t accept that reality.   Those moments with Phoebe replayed in my head every time I went to hold her hand in public. They resurfaced almost every time I saw a happy straight couple show affection in public.  I was angry.  The fact that these men and their vitriolic threats had tarnished what I saw as my very “normal” inclination to hold hands with the person I loved.  But I didn’t want to harbor this frustration every time I saw happy couples.  And I didn’t want to always feel like it was my responsibility to confront any other person who harassed us.  Besides, there were already organizations working so diligently to address this issue from that angle.  I decided I wanted to focus on the good.  I wanted to find couples, who despite daily fear of very real harassment, make the decision to love their partners anyway.  To kiss them goodbye on the corner of 86th and Lex anyway.  To hold their hands in Flatbush anyway.

Queer in Public, or QUIP, is a a crowd-sourced street photography initiative in which we take photographs of queer couples who show affection in public.  It’s an effort to familiarize and normalize queer affection, and archive the reality that people all over the world are standing up to harassment — simply by their refusal to be conditioned to stay invisible. We are a movement to transform “queer love” into plain old: “love”.  Or, as I like to sometimes describe it, a way of saying “fuck you” to the haters, “you can’t stop us.”

Photo by Court Baxter

For some, the threat of violence is too real, and the simple act of holding hands or kissing on a street corner would be unwise and unsafe. But for the rest of us, we have the capability to shift the tides by making ourselves visible.  I’m part of this movement because despite what can feel like a never-ending, dismal tunnel- I see that light.  I see couples day after day, in cities and towns all over the world, show love for the ones they love.  There is incredible work to be done, and QUIP is part of that work, but we are absolutely chipping away and for those of us who feel safe enough to do so, being queer in public gives us power by making us real.

Courtney Baxter is a professional rabble rouser. She is Chief of Staff at The OpEd Project, runs community initiatives at Feminsting, and is the Founder of Queer in Public. To be a part of the movement, join us here.

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“This incident brought on a panic attack”

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As a woman I’ve grown up used to men shouting out of their cars, builders whistling and the like. Up until this week it has all been verbal. Recently, I was on a bus coming home from Uni with my boyfriend. The journey was fine until it was time to get off and a female passenger shouted ‘you have great tits’ and grabbed hold of them. She had a really strong grip on them until my boyfriend smacked her hands and escorted me off the bus.

It’s so silly but it felt like such a violation. I have social anxiety and this incident brought on a panic attack which was not pleasant on our 2 year anniversary.

The bus was packed and not a single person did or said anything aside from my disgusted boyfriend! I’m disappointed in myself that I did absolutely nothing to this woman. I was so shocked and only really processed what had happened once the bus had driven off. I thought beforehand that I was strong and could handle myself but the fear just being touched inappropriately brought me has made me worry for the future. I don’t want to live in a world where this could happen again.

– JW

Location: Lancaster, UK

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