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“Hey turn around come back over here.”

April 1, 2014 By Contributor

I live across the street from a park and take my dog on regular walks around it. A lot of the time I feel pretty safe when I have my dog with me, he’s a rottweiler and very protective of me.

One day I decided that we would go on a walk around the entire park which means walking down to the end of my street to the closest main road and continuing on the main road until the other side of the park. It was summer and very hot so I decided to wear shorts. When we turned onto the main road a car drove passed but very slow. I didn’t pay much attention until I saw them stop and turn around and drive passed me again very slowly.

I was pretty freaked out and started walking faster. They did this yet again but this time drove in the bike lane right next to the sidewalk, they rolled down their windows and three guys all stuck their heads out and stared at me, whistled, starting calling for me saying, “Hey turn around come back over here.”

I was scared. I started running, this had never happened on a walk with my dog before. I didn’t even bring my phone with me that day so I had no one to call, no one else was around. I was worried they would follow me back to my house. Luckily we ran fast and got home as quickly as we could.

– Taylor M.

Location: Greenbriar Park, Fort Collins, CO 80524

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The Experience of Walking Alone

April 1, 2014 By Contributor

Saloni Malhotra

Two months ago I was living in Delhi, India. During my lunch break I decided to visit my doctor for ordering new lenses. The clinic was about 500 meters from the office on a busy road. I finished placing my order and walked out of the clinic. Barely 20 steps ahead a 6 feet tall, well built Afghan man asked me something. I didn’t understand his language, shook my head and kept walking. 20 more steps and I realized he was making a pass and following me. I turned around to go back to the clinic and called my colleagues to pick me up in a car. The man turned back to follow me and minutes later as I got in the car, he was still looking for me.

But this isn’t a story only from Delhi – I have lived in Pune and Chennai in India. I have travelled extensively across the country for work and leisure. But one piece of advise has remained constant – don’t go out alone after 9 p.m., don’t walk alone on the road, if you are driving at night make sure the doors are locked.

Three weeks ago I moved to Sweden for the Social Innovation in the Digital Context course. My first week in Sweden, I was returning from a party and missed the last bus. We knew this might be a possibility and everyone told me it was safe to walk back.

I began walking back and was pleasantly surprised that it was actually safe to walk alone. I reached a street that was not as well lit/ had a feeling of being more isolated than the other and my Indian instinct kicked in. The voice in my head said it wasn’t safe and I heard footsteps behind me. I froze at first but then reminded myself it was safe. The man walking behind me was walking faster than I was and caught up; I just look at him and told him I was afraid to walk alone. He smiled and offered to walk with me till the main road, which was better lit.

Honestly I don’t have adequate words to describe the joy of walking alone and not bothering about what might happen. The incident in Delhi does not stop me from living my life but it is an irritant. And I am tired of pointing fingers at the man who harasses me, the police, the law or whatever else!

I am an optimist and I know for every man who harasses someone, there are 10 others who don’t want this to happen. I want to find the other 10 and with their help clean up our areas to make sure everyone can walk alone on the road peacefully, whenever they want.

Saloni Malhotra is CoFounder of Safecity, a citizen’s initiative to end sexual abuse and harassment in public spaces. Report such incidents on safecity.in with the exact location of the incident. Volunteer with safecity to clean up your specific locality/ area

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week, Resources, Stories

“This week is already opening up my eyes to street harassment”

March 31, 2014 By Contributor

Cross-posted with permission

This week is International Anti Street Harassment Week, a week that I would never known had existed had it not been for the wonderful Leena over at @justkissmyfrog, whose first two videos on the subject you can find here and here.

Like Leena, I had no idea this week was something that took place but the more I have read up on it and the more coverage that has been publicised surrounding the issue, the more I have been encouraged to speak up about it, by providing a link between the impact of street harassment on our mental health.

So what is street harassment? A few examples include catcalls, groping, stalking, assault, sexist comments and public masturbation. More importantly, street harassment  is a form of gender violence and occurs across the world to at least 80% of women. It degrades females to an undeniably large degree and enhances women’s levels of insecurity and the ways in which they perceive themselves.

My first notable experience of street harassment occurred when I was at least 13 years old (I can’t remember my exact age, but I was very early on in secondary school), and I was walking home from school with a girl that I knew well and a boy which she knew from the year above, but who I didn’t know so well.

I remember at one point of the journey her taking a separate direction to make her way home and this boy and I being left alone to walk the remainder of the journey. At one point, in an alleyway behind my old primary school and in-between some flats he groped my arse and I remember backing away, asking him what he was doing. I can’t remember what happened after that but I remember reaching the end of the alleyway, him having to make his way home and as soon as he was out of sight I remember vividly rushing as fast as I could down to the next alleyway to get home.

The worst part about all of this is at the time, I didn’t think much of it and I thought it was a normal thing to just happen to a thirteen year old girl. Anti-Street Harassment Week has opened my eyes to the multitude of reasons why I struggle with severe anxiety regarding leaving my house, especially without the presence of my boyfriend. I am not by any means suggesting that this event as a teenager prompted or caused my anxiety, not at all, but the fact that over the years preceding this the extreme levels of bibbing and catcalling I receive from cars and strangers as I’m just simply attempting to get to my own house may serve as a slight reason for my constant preference to remain inside within the comfort of my own home. I don’t go nightclubbing anymore or even just out in general without the presence of my boyfriend because I’m terrified of other men seeing me, alone, as an object, to touch and grope as and when they please (which has happened to me in nightclubs and bars before) and being emotionally too vulnerable and anxious to not run from the situation, worried that I would then be followed, thereby causing more attraction to myself.

I count myself very lucky to never have experienced any serious forms of assault, be it sexual or non, have never been made to witness public masturbation and have never been stalked, but I am very aware that this happens everyday across the world and be it minor or major incidents, I am sure I would find it very difficult to find a woman who hasn’t experienced this kind of sexist public humiliation.

A week ago I decided to take a different route home from University and go instead to a train station which is a 20 minute walk from my house as opposed to the one I usually go to which is a tiny bit further away. I also fancied a change of scenery and a different walk home, learning in DBT recently to challenge my anxiety and to be mindful of my present situation. Upon leaving the train station, I have to walk down a long main road behind my house, next to a reservoir. During this walk home I was catcalled once and bibbed three times from men in their cars.

I remember each time feeling a pounding sensation in my heart where this walk wasn’t refreshing anymore and I just wanted to get home. Each time, the pounding got worse. I walked as quickly as I could until my legs began to ache and only felt safe once I had reached the comfort of my house and had locked the door securely behind me. All because I was a woman, alone, walking down a main road.

Although I experience a large amount of body image hang ups still, well after the years of my eating disorder, I sometimes wonder if 50% of my body image issues are to do with the way I view myself and the extra 50% is to do with the fear of comments from men as I walk down the street. Last summer I attempted to steer clear from wearing jeans and black tights with my skirts if it was a nice day and just step out in a crop top and shorts if I wanted to or a dress with natural tights, or better still a dress with no tights at all. But by doing so it felt wrong, and the main point of my argument is that it shouldn’t feel wrong. I should be able to wear what I like and feel comfortable in my own skin without experiencing jeers and leering from men. It affects the way I perceive myself, my actions, the way that I walk along my street, the way that I look and the way I must look to men.

Interestingly enough, my mother asked me the other day whether I’d be prepared to go running outside in preparation for my Race for Life 5k run this year and instead of being ultimately up for the challenge, I responded by saying it was a ludicrous idea, telling her to think of all the attention and crap we’d attract from passing vehicles. (I live on a main road and consequently am surrounded by main roads). Yet my Dad goes jogging at least three times a week, with no issues whatsoever, because he’s male. I just know how impossible that would be for me, as a woman living in London, to do. I shouldn’t have to feel that way.

This week is already opening up my eyes to street harassment, what it is, and how common it is across the world. I am more than just an object and I am more than the size and shape of my legs, boobs, waist, and bum. I deserve respect by choosing to take a simple stroll to my local shops, not an entity of abuse. I’ve been brought up to just expecting and accepting that men like to ogle, stare, and yell obscenities at myself and my friends and that is really not okay. I deserve my own space, not just as a woman but as a human being. Street harassment ultimately violates my rights as a human.

It’s difficult to say what we can do to fight against the power that street harassment has upon young girls and women. Speaking out about it, you may argue will not change the situation, but it will raise awareness and highlight the message that this issue is wrong and one to be taken seriously, not just one that a bunch of feminists got together to start complaining about (of course, because we’re women, right?!)

We can also educate ourselves and be aware of what to do in the event of experiencing street harassment, and I will hereby redirect you to some excellent articles on how to deal with street harassers on the International Stop Street Harassers Website here, as well as what to do before or after experiencing street harassment here.

I’d also really encourage you to follow @EverydaySexism on Twitter, which is used to document the public’s experiences of sexism and harassment on a daily basis, highlighting the severity of the issue.

Amy-Louise is a 21 year old woman trying to work towards bigger and better things. English Literature student. Blogger and bookworm who campaigns to raise awareness of mental health problems. Currently a retail assistant with huge dreams and ambitions. Charity fundraiser and most importantly, in love.

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week, Stories, street harassment

“It wasn’t funny or something to joke about”

March 31, 2014 By Contributor

So this is just the most recent thing that has happened. Unfortunately this has happened many times before. I am 18 and still live at home and we live just a few minutes away from a grocery store. I ran to the store to get a few things we needed before dinner. I went alone, like I had many other times.

I was near the back of the store when I turned around and there was an older man extremely close to me. At first I thought I was in his way so I tried to move but he blocked me multiple times before saying I have been following you through the whole store trying to keep up with you. I was pretty petrified to be honest.

He continued with saying you just look really great today, you look so good. I was scared and didn’t know what to do there was people around but I felt completely alone. I didn’t respond or make eye contact I just wanted to leave but he blocked me again. I ended up turning around and practically running in the opposite direction and nobody seemed to notice.

I still had things I needed and I was scared every aisle I went down that he would be there. I got home and told my mom and sister what had happened and that it really freaked me out. I was shocked at how they immediately responded with oh he’s just complimenting you, he’s your secret admirer, they were saying things like this in a joking manner.

My mom could see how upset I really was by this and I told her how scared I was. She finally realized it wasn’t funny or something to joke about. She said she didn’t want me or my sister going there alone anymore. And since then I haven’t. It is ridiculous that I can’t even run to my neighborhood grocery store alone without feeling threatened.

– Taylor M.

Location: King Soopers Pharmacy 1842 N College Ave Fort Collins, CO 80524

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Canada’s Epidemic of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women

March 31, 2014 By Contributor

By Britnae Purdy, First Peoples Worldwide, Cross-Posted with Permission

Image via Indian Country

Walking home. At night. Alone.

Every woman holds close a fear of this situation – even the bravest occasionally let a “what if” wander into the corners of their mind.

You’re walking home from work because you can’t afford a car just yet – ironically, the same reason you need to keep this job. All your friends were busy tonight, so you couldn’t bum a ride. And public transportation just doesn’t go this far out. You’ve done it before; you know the dangers, but there’s really nothing else to do. More than likely, things will be fine.

When you see headlights coming up behind you, you hold your breath.

When the car pulls up next to you, your heart stops for a moment.

When he rolls down the window, your body switches into survival mode – tensed, pulse racing, scanning the dark landscape for an out.

You steel yourself against the words he and his friends shout to you, throw at you, wondering not for the first time what your skin color, cup size, outfit really have to do with it all. There’s four of them – why do they always seem to travel in packs? You grasp your keys, knowing what a feeble defense they’d provide anyway. Mostly you pray, wondering if tonight is the night you’ll join the numbers – the upwards of 900 Indigenous women who have been murdered or gone missing in Canada in the past 30 years.

Part of Canada’s beauty lives in its vastness. Your ancestors have thrived in partnership with the land since time immemorial. But that vast nature can be frightful as well – there are many places you could take a person where they won’t easily be found.

You wonder if you’ll have time to dial up the police on your cell phone, but the authorities aren’t much trusted by your community – a long pattern of abuses and misplaced authority have eroded that relationship.

The worst thought that passes through your mind isn’t so much what will happen to you, but the idea that your family may never know. The investigation is likely to go cold – if it is even opened at all. The rates are so high in your community that they’ll likely just write you off – your entire life reduced dismissively to one word: “runaway,” or “suicide,” or “overdose.”

The car rolls along beside you as you walk, eyes forward, mind rolling over these thoughts. Then, for whatever reason, your harassers lose enthusiasm for their fame. They decide you’re not the special “Pocahontas” they’re looking for tonight, you’re actually just a “dirty, drunk, redskin bitch” like all the rest. One hollers a final “war cry” and the car revvs and speeds up, the hunters leaving you in the dark with your beating, beating heart.

You call up your sister to talk for the duration of your walk home. She’s not happy to be woken up late at night, but you need to hear her voice. She’ll understand when you explain later.

You rationalize it out until your breath returns to you and the shaking in your hands subside.  It’s normal. It’s to be expected. It will happen again, and at least this isn’t as bad as what happened to your friend or cousin. You’re lucky. You won this battle. Congratulations.

But you can’t help but wonder – what is this life you’re fighting so hard for?

What is a life when others view you less as human, more as prey?

Britnae is currently acting as the communications manager at First Peoples Worldwide, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting Indigenous communities, culture, and rights around the world. Britnae received her BA in International Affairs and Women’s and Gender Studies from the University of Mary Washington in 2013, and is now working on an MA in Global Affairs, with a specialization in Global Health, at George Mason University.

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week, Stories

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