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“I am afraid always”

December 11, 2013 By Contributor

One night after a dance class, I went to Walmart. As I left, I noticed a man walk into the store. He had ragged, torn jeans and muddy boots and was wearing a white tank top. It was pretty chilly outside. I was walking to my car, but I heard someone following me. I thought it was just someone else leaving, but I turned around to see that same man following me. I started walking faster. My heart was pounding and my hands were shaking nervously. I was afraid that he was going to grab me or attack me. He said “Gettin’ cold sweetheart?”

That was enough to make me burst into tears. I was scared to death. I replied “No, I’m fine.”

Then I practically ran to my car. It took me several tries to get the key into the door to unlock it since I was shaking. Once I got in, I drove home; probably 20 miles over the speed limit. I was hyperventilating. Scared to death. Since that night, I don’t go anywhere alone at night. I’m afraid to go pump gas into my car at night, I don’t go to Walmart late at night, and even during the daytime, I watch my surroundings constantly. That experience changed my life. I am afraid always, even if I am surrounded by friends or my boyfriend.

– Rachel B.

Location: Georgia

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“I’m tired of having to be combat-ready all the time”

December 11, 2013 By Contributor

A while ago I thought I’d help motivate myself to get out of the house and get active by making myself tea and going for a walk around my block. After all, I love walking, and I’m too broke to join a gym. I was all excited about it, had my tea, made it to the other side of the block and was really enjoying being out in the sun, with all the happy little houses around….and then was heftily sexually harassed as I passed a house full of people who were hanging out in their front yard. They talked about my body parts for at least the entire time I was in earshot, loudly talking about me in the third person and shouting instructions and opinions at me. It was mostly one guy, but there were both guys and girls laughing along with him.

I’ve realized this is pretty common any time I walk places. Street harassment is alive and well in Los Angeles.

This is why I don’t leave my house as much as I’d like to, and why I no longer skate anywhere – because I just can’t muster the energy to deal with scary douches. I’m tired of having to be combat-ready all the time. So now I mostly just stay home or only drive places (even if I could walk there).

– MAG

Location: North Hollywood, CA

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Reporting Street Harassment to the Police: A Success Story

December 10, 2013 By SSHIntern

For many women, and some men, street harassment may be such a normal occurrence that they don’t even think of reporting it to police. Similarly, it’s not uncommon to be reluctant to report even serious incidents for fear that officers won’t take the report seriously, that they will engage in victim blaming, or that you will be subject to further harassment. (Unfortunately, this can be the case and we encourage you to file a complaint if this happens to you).

But Stop Street Harassment’s newest resource, Know Your Rights: Street Harassment and the Law, reveals that many common street harassment behaviors are in fact illegal across the U.S., giving you grounds to report an incident and seek help.

In preparation for the launch of our toolkit, I spoke to Officer Harris of the University of Washington Police Department about an incident of street harassment that he recently responded to.

The University of Washington Incident

The incident began as too many do: a female student was out for an evening run near the University of Washington campus when a man allegedly jumped out from around a corner, grabbed her by the arm, and said, “How are you doing tonight?”

As anyone who has experienced street harassment knows, a harasser’s language may be benign in itself but it usually comes with an intimidating interaction.

The student responded with a few choice words and crossed the street. (While SSH doesn’t recommend profanity or insults, an assertive response can help prevent sexual assault and/or feelings of disempowerment.)

After making sure the man hadn’t followed her – although he did leer in her direction – the young woman returned home and called University Police. Harris responded to the call, checked the area where the incident took place, and the young woman identified the man in question. He was arrested and charged with assault.

While it would be better if street harassment didn’t happen at all, the situation Harris described is ideal in terms of the young woman’s safety and the police response. I asked Officer Harris if he felt there was any room for discretion in determining whether or not to arrest the offender.

“No,” he said, “she was afraid for her safety and her well-being.” Given that it was after dark and “the guy grabbed her and really scared her,” he added, “I think most police officers would have taken that very seriously.”

Unfortunately, we know that not all officers see street harassment so clearly. But Officer Harris presented the perspective we hope all police officers will have and the standard that you should hold your community police to.

“Even if somebody made rude comments,” Harris said, “or made somebody feel unsafe, even if it wasn’t a crime yet, we would still go and talk to them.” Officer Harris stressed that no one should feel “unqualified” to call the police because what happened to her or him did not escalate to physical assault. It is appropriate, he told me, for an officer to have a “knock-it-off” conversation with someone even before an incident becomes criminal.

“A lot of very serious incidents start off as ‘it’s not that serious, it’s not a big deal.’ … But we’ll be glad to go investigate and keep things from escalating.”

In a society that says street harassment is a “compliment,” or “no big deal,” Harris’ perspective may sound too good to be true. But in fact, it may be a sign that advocacy efforts do work.

Notably, Victim’s Advocate Natalie Dolci provides the University of Washington officers with a variety of training and support to best address sexual assault, stalking, and gender-based violence.

I asked Harris what his main takeaways were from the training he has received and what advice he might have for other officers.

* He shared that he learned what a lasting impact sexual assault and sexual abuse can have on a person, and stressed that it’s important for officers to take every case very seriously.

* He included street harassment in that sentiment, noting that officers have a role to play in preventing street harassment from “becoming a habit” or escalating.

* He also added that his department works to have a positive relationship with the community and looks “for directions from the community on what problems they have or what they need help with.

Reach out to your department,” he said, “and let them know what you need.”

Have you reported street harassment to the police? What happened? What did officers in your community do well, or what would you like them to do differently? Leave your stories and ideas in the comments, and check out our new Know Your Rights toolkit to learn about the laws in your state.

Talia Hagerty has been a Stop Street Harassment intern since June 2013. She also is a peace economics consultant working on a variety of projects that ensure the equitable economic participation of all. She holds a B.A. in Economics from Eckerd College and an M.S. in Global Affairs with a concentration in Peacebuilding from New York University. Talia blogs about peacebuilding, human rights, economic development, and witty responses to street harassment. Follow her on Twitter: @taliahagerty.

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Filed Under: male perspective, Resources, Stories, street harassment

“Both men continued to tell me to smile”

December 9, 2013 By Contributor

I went into the liquor store to pick up a bottle of wine for a party this evening. As I was in line to pay, one of the employees walked in front of me and leered. I ignored him and continued to look straight ahead. When I got to the cashier, the same employee came up and stood directly beside me and asked the (male) cashier if I had smiled. The cashier said that I hadn’t, and asked me why I wasn’t smiling. I didn’t know what to say, so I just said something about not wanting to.

Both men continued to tell me to smile and ask me why I wasn’t smiling throughout the transaction, and the first man even told the cashier not to let me leave until I’d smiled. Luckily, they didn’t actually try to stop me, and I got out of there as quickly as possible.

– Anonymous

Location: Greenbelt Liquors, 6000 Greenbelt Rd, Greenbelt, MD

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“I’ve never walked home so fast in my life”

December 8, 2013 By Contributor

It was one of those things that feels like nothing when you tell it, but when it’s happening, is so very threatening.

I was walking down a main street, and even at night, you think you’d be safe, but when a man stops what he’s doing (he’s obviously going somewhere, not just hanging around) looks you up and down several times like you’re a piece of meat and deliberately stalks towards you (it sounds fanciful, but stalk is the only work I can think of that describes what he did) and passes by as close to you as he possibly can, you have no idea what he’s going to do.

For several seconds I honestly thought he was about to grab me. Instead he gave a satisfied chuckle as he sauntered off… I’ve never walked home so fast in my life.

– Anonymous

Location: Lewes Road, Brighton, UK

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