Stop Street Harassment

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“Drawing as much attention as I can”

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I wasn’t going to post originally but I guess reading other stories got me pretty angry.

I’ve had it a few times – to the shopkeeper casually calling me “sexy” whenever I go in for a redbull or whatever on the way to a lecture, to the builder “pssssshting” me when I walked past, again, on the way to University.

Those are nothing compared to past experiences which I’ll relate now.

There are three, maybe four experiences which really scared me, and still do when I remember them.

I was once waiting for a bus outside my school, at the bus stop in broad daylight (about 4pm) when a guy probably in his late teens – early 20’s, pulled up, rolled the window down and told me to get in his car.

I was obviously stunned, refused, and backed away slightly. He kept on TELLING me to get inside, and after a few minutes, called me a slut and drove away.

About a year or so later, I was waiting for a bus to work, in a different area of the city.

A car pulled up across the road, and a male in his late 30’s got out, crossed the road, and came over to try and engage in conversation.
When ignoring him didn’t work, I told him very clearly that I didn’t wish to speak to him, and he walked away and got back in his car.

In another incident, I had a male pull up, and ask for directions. When they were given, he made out that I should just get in the car and show him, and he’d give me a lift. Do I look that stupid?

Those were all a few years ago, last week, I was actually followed home – and it was terrifying.

I thought I was being paranoid at first as I crossed a road and the guy continued walking – until I came out of a store and he was lurking.
He then followed me for ten minutes, all the while saying, “hey”, “hey girl,” “miss”, and various things.

As I went inside and was unlocking my door (university accommodation, we have a guard inside thankfully), he looked back and smiled, and it infuriated me so much that I ended up hissing “freak” at him.

It’s not so much the catcalls in the street, or even the gropes in nightclubs (in which I’ve poured my drink over few men’s heads) but the more sinister experiences like the ones I’ve had.

It’s absolutely terrifying, and you feel powerless, and like a piece of meat.

After reading past stories from people, I’m not taking it anymore. I’ve been scared before and ignored it – sometimes it doesn’t work, and you get people poking you or just continually talking, but now I aim on yelling/screaming/and just generally drawing as much attention as I can, and hopefully embarrassing the idiot.

– Sarah

Location: Manchester, England

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“Look at the handlebar on that”

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I was in McDonalds on Tottenham Court Rd. I was queuing to order food and there were two construction workers in the queue next to me . One of them looked at me and loudly said to his colleague, “Look at the handlebar on that. It’s disgusting. She looks like a man.”

I kept quiet and continued queuing . To be honest I was in shock. I paid for my food and went to get ketchup etc. They followed me over, laughing and repeated the same comments. They said, she must be growing it for Movember and walked off laughing I felt physically ill and so upset afterwards.

– S.C.

Location: Mc Dobalds , Tottenham Court Rd

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“Nice dumper”

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I was walking down the street with a few friends and a guy yelled at me, “Nice dumper!”

His two friends flanking him thought it was hilarious. I shot him a dirty look, but I was struck speechless by how crass it was. I wish I had said something to him, but at the time I thought that saying anything would feed into his attention-seeking and just result in more laughter and more demeaning language.

– E

Location: 44.231403,-76.481581 on google maps (76 Princess St, Kingston, ON)

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Sexual Harassment: A Tale of an Ongoing Epidemic

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This is cross-posted with permission from Yomna’s Voice.

The more invested you become in something, the harder it becomes to write about it. You start typing and erasing, unimpressed as nothing seems to give the topic the justice it deserves. The topic in question is Sexual harassment in the streets of Egypt. I figured that I will not be able to give it the justice it deserves, but to give it something is better than to keep getting stuck in the unachievable-perfection-of writing rut.

You know you are approaching the edge of a cliff when a society starts to normalize an epidemic. False, sexual harassment should never be labeled as or compared to epidemics, for epidemics are often uncontrollable and stem out of micro-organisms that are beyond one’s control in the direct sense of the word. Sexual harassment, on the other hand, is one hundred percent controlled by human beings and their actions. I will not ignore the fact that sexual harassment is sometimes inflicted by women, on other women or men. But, for the sake of the here and now, I would like to focus on sexual harassment of females, I cannot say women for it is directed at ten year olds at times, on the hands of males.

Let me start by a friendly reminder that sexual harassment is not rape and solely rape. Any unwanted, derogatory and invasive sexual comment or touch is a form of sexual harassment, and for more detailed information on that, you can check any of the widely available dictionaries. When a female walks in the street and gets showered with unwanted commentary about her body or what she can be doing with it, this is sexual harassment! When street vendors “accidentally” brush their hands against little girls’ bodies, this is sexual harassment. When a soldier on duty whistles, moans and overtly touches himself when a female walks in front of him, it is sexual harassment indeed! These images are beyond prevalent that they have been normalized and accepted. It is now a female’s duty to avoid walking in the street and if she walks the streets of Cairo by choice, then she has brought it upon herself, she was asking for it.
Now, how about the majority of Egyptian women and girls who have to walk from one district to another for school and for work and for everyday kind of interactions? Well, you see, they must be dressed provocatively and their immodesty paired with excessive parading around that is causing males to sexually fantasize about them and verbalize it, or act upon it. And girls ought to be chaperoned by brothers and husbands, shouldn’t they be? And if you are old enough to have a fiancée or a husband but you don’t, then your morals are probably questionable and you are probably deserving of this harassment!
Newsflash number one, I do not know a single female who has never been sexually harassed in Egypt at any point in her life (generally, it is uncountable to tell you the truth). If you do not believe me or you find this astonishing, although it shouldn’t be, ask any female around you. So, in accepting the few premises lined up above you are accepting that your own family members are to blame and that they are either morally questionable, immodest in their attire or that they choose to be present in situations where sexual harassment might occur when they could avoid it. If you want to blame the victims, then rest assured that you will be blaming your own mothers, sisters, daughters, cousins and every other female that you know. Or perhaps we are facing a moral, I hate to use this word but, epidemic? Perhaps all Egyptian females are morally corrupt and the generations to come are doomed?
We are facing a moral crisis indeed, and a crisis of logical inferences to add to the list. We are facing the crisis of a nation that finds it acceptable to blame victims of sexual harassment for their offenders’ mistakes, lack of self-control and the love of exerting control and power stemming and growing from a knowledge that they are invincible and untouchable. And the vicious cycle keeps on going and growing! Once words and touches become normalized, it is ok to push the limits further and to try harder. Gradually, the touches are not stealthily anymore; they are seen, felt and dominating. Suddenly, buses are a space for crowding with females for sexual release. Suddenly, shoving a defenseless girl in a car to throw her at the corner of the next street when you are done is not far-fetched anymore. And suddenly, girls and women are responsible victims whose best bet are to pray that no one sees and walk away in silence shaking off the words and touches before anyone else notices.
And society is still nothing but silent, still defending the aggressor and putting the blame on the victim. Dare she seek help from forces of power, she will be dissuaded with a speech about honour and how she would be harming her reputation if she speaks up, if she is known and is no longer just another face in the uncountable pool of those sexually harassed. Think of your future, your potential future husband, they say. Do you want to ruin your future, they threaten. And somehow the responsibility is placed within her palms. And the worst you can do is to question or try to change things. In a moment of frustration, I once armed myself with my earphones and ipod and went for a walk, blocking hurtful words out while not giving up my right to use my feet and walk to the mall nearby. I sought well-lit streets for safety, ran my errand and did not have to hear penetrating words that often cut deeper than knives. I thought my day was a success until I got attacked by others for doing so, females too. How dare me try and change the “system”, why am I living in a dream and behaving like a teenager, I can’t change the society and the community I am in and I am only a visitor why do I care. And we wonder why sexual harassment is increasing and why is it that women are not getting the protection they deserve by right. And we wonder why Esraa Mohamed was attacked from behind with acids and attacked further for publicizing it and for being immodest.  And we wonder why sexual harassment has passed the line of discomfort and is now way into the zone of danger and safety.
We are facing a moral and an ethical epidemic! We are facing a collective lack of conscience. We are facing a deficiency and an inability to uphold justice on a personal as well as state level. We are facing a severe regression, not in women’s rights, no, but in human rights and laws. When a thief plans his robbery well in fear of being caught but a sexual aggressor boasts about his impulsive plans, don’t ever come and tell me that feminism is dead.
Yomna Khaled is a Canadian woman with a deep passion for women’s rights and the issue of sexual harassment who grew up in Egypt until she was 15 years old. Follow her work on her blog.
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“I have a right to walk wherever I want”

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I was walking to my aunt’s house from my college. I was a couple blocks away when two guys in a beat-up car were driving towards me. The driver waved while the guy in the passenger seat leaned out and screamed, “Hey cutie!” at me. I was all alone so I just ignored them and kept walking. I spent the remainder of my walk looking behind my shoulder whenever I heard a car coming because I was terrified they would circle back and harass me more.

The rest of my day was ruined because I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened and how scared I was. I felt really violated and angry because I have a right to walk wherever I want, whenever I want and not feel intimidated or scared, but those guys took that from me.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

For dealing with harassers, I guess I’d say do whatever you feel safe and comfortable doing. I ignored mine because I was alone and didn’t feel that I would be safe if I responded. I think there needs to be strict laws passed and greater community awareness about street harassment.

–  Anonymous

Location: Los Angeles, CA

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