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I Know My Rights

December 2, 2013 By SSHIntern

I work in a branch of psychological research that emphasizes: structural change, policy influence, and empowerment of marginalized groups as they exist within their communities. These are the tools and theories that have guided my work, and similarly, what attracted me to Stop Street Harassment. But what happens when structural change isn’t enough? What happens when the policies change but the culture doesn’t? I had an experience the other day that reminded me of my work—and reminded me that even when the policy and legislature are clear, I have to continue to work to change the culture.

The other day on my way home, having just dedicated hours to working on a section of the “Know Your Rights Toolkit,” I ended up in the transit center for about 30 minutes.

In a mere 30 minutes, mid-day, I was harassed, threatened, and berated by over half a dozen men. I had one man invade my personal space from behind and then simulate beating me with a crutch when I moved away in disgust. I had another pace back and forth staring at me as I was reading alone against a wall. I had one scream at me to smile in a voice that actually sounded annoyed. I was angry and exhausted and for the rest of the day—I actually felt a bit helpless. I knew my rights—and I did nothing. Even more, I was disappointed in the dozens of men who stared on, watched others treat me this way, yet said or did nothing.

When I finally got home, and was able to relax and calm down, I reminded myself that the toolkit was not intended to make victims feel guilty for not reporting—it was created so that we know our rights. And I do.

In the following days, I talked to a mutual acquaintance who is a police officer stationed in the transit center about keeping an eye on the harassment and let him know which areas were the most problematic. I took solace and satisfaction in knowing that my city offers online reporting, and that I can snap a camera phone picture of the particularly heinous offenders in the future. I felt proud of the way I chose to handle those particular harassers in that moment, and I felt grateful for my safety. The experience not only served as a reminder of the challenges in my work, but also reminded me that however I choose to respond that day, is the right way, and that the same remains true for all of you. I hope you all find the toolkit informative and possibly empowering when it releases on December 10. You can join our Tweet chat at 1 p.m. EST that day.

Rickelle Mason is Stop Street Harassment’s fall 2013 intern. She is an undergraduate senior at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. With a major in Psychology and a minor in Women’s and Gender Studies, she has a passion for feminist psychology, and using community-based participatory research to dismantle gender-based violence. She has worked for several years in the university’s Community Psychology Research Lab, which was recently the recipient of the “Outstanding Training in Community Psychology” International Award.

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Filed Under: SSH programs, Stories, street harassment

“Why are you hiding behind your hair?”

December 2, 2013 By Contributor

What about people who get harassed for being ugly? I get laughed out, pointed out and ridiculed by people ranging from kids to old age pensioners. I have also been spat at from a car and had men walk right up into my face to have a good stare at me so they report back to their friends that l am “ugly”.

One of the worst cases of harassment l have experienced was from a car across the road at a roundabout. One of them had its top off as it was summer and he leaned out of the car and began screaming abuse at me. It was totally unprovoked. So was the spitting .

Another time l was walking home in the dark and this group of young men were going into the local train station. Again l was on the other side of the road – One of them stopped and started shouting at me, “Why are you hiding behind your hair? Are you an old hag? Are you an old hag?” He was virtually screaming and again l had done nothing wrong.

I think street harassment also needs to include harassment based on people’s negative reactions to appearances also and equally. My life has been made hell and l know if l tell anyone they won’t believe me.

– LC

Location: Everywhere l walk

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“Drawing as much attention as I can”

November 30, 2013 By Contributor

I wasn’t going to post originally but I guess reading other stories got me pretty angry.

I’ve had it a few times – to the shopkeeper casually calling me “sexy” whenever I go in for a redbull or whatever on the way to a lecture, to the builder “pssssshting” me when I walked past, again, on the way to University.

Those are nothing compared to past experiences which I’ll relate now.

There are three, maybe four experiences which really scared me, and still do when I remember them.

I was once waiting for a bus outside my school, at the bus stop in broad daylight (about 4pm) when a guy probably in his late teens – early 20’s, pulled up, rolled the window down and told me to get in his car.

I was obviously stunned, refused, and backed away slightly. He kept on TELLING me to get inside, and after a few minutes, called me a slut and drove away.

About a year or so later, I was waiting for a bus to work, in a different area of the city.

A car pulled up across the road, and a male in his late 30’s got out, crossed the road, and came over to try and engage in conversation.
When ignoring him didn’t work, I told him very clearly that I didn’t wish to speak to him, and he walked away and got back in his car.

In another incident, I had a male pull up, and ask for directions. When they were given, he made out that I should just get in the car and show him, and he’d give me a lift. Do I look that stupid?

Those were all a few years ago, last week, I was actually followed home – and it was terrifying.

I thought I was being paranoid at first as I crossed a road and the guy continued walking – until I came out of a store and he was lurking.
He then followed me for ten minutes, all the while saying, “hey”, “hey girl,” “miss”, and various things.

As I went inside and was unlocking my door (university accommodation, we have a guard inside thankfully), he looked back and smiled, and it infuriated me so much that I ended up hissing “freak” at him.

It’s not so much the catcalls in the street, or even the gropes in nightclubs (in which I’ve poured my drink over few men’s heads) but the more sinister experiences like the ones I’ve had.

It’s absolutely terrifying, and you feel powerless, and like a piece of meat.

After reading past stories from people, I’m not taking it anymore. I’ve been scared before and ignored it – sometimes it doesn’t work, and you get people poking you or just continually talking, but now I aim on yelling/screaming/and just generally drawing as much attention as I can, and hopefully embarrassing the idiot.

– Sarah

Location: Manchester, England

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“Look at the handlebar on that”

November 29, 2013 By Contributor

I was in McDonalds on Tottenham Court Rd. I was queuing to order food and there were two construction workers in the queue next to me . One of them looked at me and loudly said to his colleague, “Look at the handlebar on that. It’s disgusting. She looks like a man.”

I kept quiet and continued queuing . To be honest I was in shock. I paid for my food and went to get ketchup etc. They followed me over, laughing and repeated the same comments. They said, she must be growing it for Movember and walked off laughing I felt physically ill and so upset afterwards.

– S.C.

Location: Mc Dobalds , Tottenham Court Rd

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“Nice dumper”

November 28, 2013 By Contributor

I was walking down the street with a few friends and a guy yelled at me, “Nice dumper!”

His two friends flanking him thought it was hilarious. I shot him a dirty look, but I was struck speechless by how crass it was. I wish I had said something to him, but at the time I thought that saying anything would feed into his attention-seeking and just result in more laughter and more demeaning language.

– E

Location: 44.231403,-76.481581 on google maps (76 Princess St, Kingston, ON)

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

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