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“I felt afraid for my safety”

September 1, 2013 By Contributor

I was walking downtown when I noticed that a man walking ahead of me, who was rifling through his wallet, had dropped a dollar bill. I didn’t think twice about picking it up and giving it back to him. He thanked me and I kept walking; however, I noticed that he’d adjusted his pace to walk closely behind me. He started saying things like, “Oh I’ve gotta get with you, girl.”

When I ignored him, he raised his voice. “Hey! Where are you going?”

He followed me for an entire block until a crosswalk blocked his way. I’d been catcalled by three different men in a span of ten minutes right before this happened. I felt afraid for my safety and infuriated that I have to make myself invisible in public and avoid all interaction just to feel safe.

– Anonymous

Location: Detroit, Michigan

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“I WILL write down the number plate”

September 1, 2013 By Contributor

Walking down the street when a car came up behind me and a man screamed so loudly it scared me half to death. He and his friends then laughed as they proceeded down the road. I am almost considering walking on the other side of the road from now on so I can see them coming. I WILL write down the number plate next time.

– LJ

Location: Bourke St, Wollongong, NSW, Australia

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South Africa: Rape Culture, Victim Blaming and Harassment

August 31, 2013 By Correspondent

By: Gcobani Qambela, South Africa, SSH Correspondent

No Cause for Celebration by the 1 in 9 Campaign.

August 2013 was declared “Women’s Month” by the South African government. This is in effort to commemorate the historic march organised by the Federation of South African Women on August 9, 1956, that was attended by over 20,000 women who marched to the Union Buildings in the then apartheid South Africa. The women who came from diverse backgrounds were protesting the extension of “Pass Laws” to women. As they marched, they sang:

Wathint’ abafazi,
Wathint’ imbokodo,
Uza kufa!

[When] you strike the women,
You strike a rock,
You will be crushed [You will die]!

The post-apartheid South African government has since declared the 9th of August “Women’s Day”, an annual public holiday celebrating the courage of these women. Yet, as many have noted, despite the contribution of South African women to the anti-apartheid struggle, many women still have to battle many other oppressions in post-apartheid South Africa. Kamaria Munti for instance notes that “… rape, relationship terrorism and general cultural disparities remain critical issues for South Africa’s women.”

This was no more evident than this month of August ironically dedicated to celebrating women. The secretary-general of the largest trade union in South Africa, the Congress of South African Trade Unions (Cosatu), Zwelinzima Vavi, was accused of rape by a junior employer (who later withdrew the accusations). But what was worrying about this case, is not whether it was true or not, but as TO Molefe shows us, it demonstrated to us the various ways in which rape culture is still woven into the fabric of South African society. Molefe notes for instance that “From the moment the story hit the pages of the weekend newspapers, her claim was treated with doubt and judgement. Pronouncements were made about how and why her actions discredited her claims of sexual harassment and rape, yet no scrutiny was directed at the actions of Vavi and how and why they discredit his claim that he did not sexually harass or rape her.”

What was more disturbing to me is how this showed an element that is still ignored in the South African legal framework. The woman in question was harassed on Twitter with many people tagging and mentioning her in very vile messages which often centred on blaming her for being raped and sexually assaulted. An image that landed on my Twitter feed for instance showed an image of the women with an inscription saying how “who could resist?” raping her if she looked that attractive.

Victim blaming and harassment is not new in South Africa. When our own current President, Jacob Zuma was also accused of rape, there were many reports of victim blaming where the woman in question was called many violently misogynistic names. This, as the Sonke Gender Justice Project notes, happens in a country where the Bill of Rights enshrined in the Constitution proclaims in Section 12, subsection 2, that everyone regardless of gender, race or sexual orientation “has the right to bodily and psychological integrity, which includes the right to security in and control over their bodies”.

These cases the Sonke Gender Justice Project tells us that they teach and remind us that “sexual violence is endemic and that very little is done to stop it [and further that] men’s violence is still explained away by crude victim blaming.” The increasingly accessibility of social media platforms like Twitter, have increased access to victims (especially when they have been named publicly as the case with Vavi) and thus consequently opened a floodgate opportunity for sexism, rape culture, victim blaming and harassment that much easier.

This is made worse by the lack of channels to report (cyber) assaults. Last year I reported for instance on the Twitter misogynistic attack that was levelled again popular South African actress Bonnie Henna on Twitter. Some of my women and (gay) male friends have been harassed online, especially on twitter and told to “go eat a dick” or called “faggots” as a means to silence them online.

As we move into September, leaving behind “Women’s Month”, my hope is that we do not only remember the march of 1956, but that we start realising the vision they had for South Africa. The women marched not just to end systematic racialised oppression, but they marched [amongst others] for the right to own their bodies fully, to have complete freedom of movement free of harassment and full control over their humanity.

If this 2013’s Women’s Month taught us anything as South Africans however, it should be that the sacrifices of those women in 1956 are yet to be fully realised, and they deserve better. They deserve a country where women are not subjected to the harassment, sexism and oppression that they are currently subjected to in South Africa. They deserve much better than this.

Gcobani is completing his Masters in Medical Anthropology through Rhodes University, Grahamstown, South Africa. His research centres around issues of risk, responsibility and vulnerability amongst Xhosa men (and women) in a rural town in South Africa living in the context of HIV/AIDS. Follow him on Twitter, @GcobaniQambela.

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Filed Under: correspondents, Stories, street harassment

USA: “My ‘Brother’ Would Respect Me”

August 30, 2013 By Correspondent

By Lauren McEwen, Washington, D.C., USA, SSH Correspondent

I came here today to write about street harassment and race. How it affects me as a black woman, personally. How it distorts the way we speak about street harassment, as a whole. How I feel that my sexuality and freedom of gender expression are circumscribed by forces that I cannot control: history and bigotry and sexism.

The internal conversation that I have with myself each morning: Will this outfit draw too much attention? Can a black girl walk down the street in gym shorts without being harassed at every corner? I think all of these things and then I change into something that will leave less room for comment.

Regardless of how many anti-slut-shaming lectures I give myself, I know that my sexuality is not my own, but is tied to a history of excusing violence against black women and dehumanizing black women by portraying us as innately sexual beings with no feelings, virtue or value.

It’s a legacy that has been passed down since slavery and like many perverse tools of subjugation that were created back then, still affects our everyday.

For this reason, I get furious when I am harassed by black men on the street.

I understand that most street harassment is intra-racial, stemming from a blend of proprietary delusions and a sense of comfort while degrading women with a shared racial heritage. But, as I listened to the speakers in front of the Lincoln Memorial on the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington, as I feel these feelings of camaraderie and hope with people who share “my struggle,” it  reinforces old feelings of disappointment and anger that I feel each time I am harassed by a black man.

I expect better from them, and I cannot shake it. As potential victims of racial profiling and police harassment, I expect black men to be cognizant of what it feels like to be unable to walk down the street without fear, or worrying about the way your appearance or body language may be perceived.

That was why this tweet from @brokeymcpoverty, during the height of the #BlackPowerisforBlackMen hashtag’s popularity rang so true that I must print it here: “#BlackPowerIsForBlackMen because when i explain not wanting to be bothered on the street, im accused of misandry/conceit/rudeness.”

That entire trending topic spoke to the myriad of ways that women have been silenced by black men in the Black Power Movement. From women standing on stage with Dr. King 50 years ago in silence, to far too many black men refusing to acknowledge black women’s problems, while expecting us to stand behind them when called.

And yet, when Stop and Frisk was finally ruled unconstitutional, I cheered along with many others. I had spent months retweeting articles about the NYPD’s discriminatory program, tapping my touchscreen violently in outrage. I shed tears watching YouTube documentaries about the effect Stop and Frisk had on black and brown men, and how police officers were forced to harass these young men in order to stay in good standing at work.

But I have literally had a black man tell me that I “don’t love” myself because I am bothered by street harassment. A strong black woman isn’t easily bothered by constant threats and leers and groping from strangers, apparently.

That hashtag, no matter how firmly rooted in truth, was called “divisive” by some loud voices. I started seeing women friends of mine, tweeting how they love black men and disagree with everything that is being said. Others began to argue that the conversation “took away” from what we are trying to accomplish as a race. That we should continue to ignore sexism in the black community just like we should ignore racism in the feminist movement.

It directly parallels the guilt trip that I have had harassers try to employ when I refuse their advances. I am sometimes accused of “being afraid of brothers,” not being attracted to black men out of some fault of my own – usually, because I am a light-skinned snob. It’s frustrating because the black community became insular out of necessity, and in my mind, using that background to justify harassing black women perverts that history. Pet names like, brother, sister, queen and king were meant to build a sort of fellowship, and now that is distorted to place the blame on me when I am turned off by street harassment.

I expect more from black men because their sexuality has had limitations placed on it by racism, as well. The oversexed man of color is the boogeyman in too many articles that I have read about street harassment. I cannot tell you how many times I have come across comment section standoffs where women of all races swear up and down that they are harassed by men of color at disproportionate rates, unaware of how strongly their comments echo assumptions made about black male sexuality from the Nadir of American Race Relations.

Studies and my own personal experiences (I tend to be harassed by black men more frequently, but not exclusively.) tell me that that is not true, but perception and reality are two separate animals.

Some feminists who have studied street harassment argue that mistreating women is one of the only spoils of patriarchy in which black men can engage. That may be true. But it does not stop me from shaking my head in disappointment every time I’m accosted by a black, male harasser.

Am I being unrealistic? Maybe. But I have also been told that it’s foolish to dream of a day where gendered harassment in public is no longer the norm. And yet, here we all are.

Lauren is a recent graduate of Howard University where she majored in print journalism with a minor in photography. You can check out more of her work at laurenmcewen.weebly.com and follow her on Twitter at @angrywritergirl.

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Kyrgyzstan: The Problem of Street Harassment in Bishkek

August 30, 2013 By Correspondent

By: Aikanysh Jeenbaeva, in collaboration with Salidat Hamilova, Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan, SSH Correspondents

Street harassment is a tremendous problem in the city of Bishkek: girls and women experience it every single minute of each and every day. We get stared, whistled and honked at, grabbed, touched, splashed with water. We constantly hear degrading comments about our appearance, bodies, the degree of ‘hotness’ and the way we should be treated, if the harassers would catch us alone.

Instead of being properly addressed, street harassment is romanticized in popular culture and presented as flattering to women. That is why when I complain to the people around me about these encounters, they often laugh and say I should be glad that men find me attractive. “Take it as a compliment,” people say, “It as a sign of admiration”, “He just likes you”, or “How else will people meet, if no one approaches each other in public?”

Quite often they justify such behavior by saying that, well, you probably asked for it, your cut was too low, your skirt/dress too short, you wore too much make up and so on. People are willing to use any excuse to rationalize harassment and make it seem normal, while words of support of understanding are almost never offered. Even law enforcement representatives actively practice street harassment: when passing a member of our “valiant” police on the streets of Bishkek, you will almost surely hear him muttering something about your looks.

The question that I then ask people in response to their comments is: how can one feel glad about being objectified as something, the value of which is measured only in the so-called “hotness”? How can I feel happy about being treated like an object that can be stopped, judged, criticized, grabbed or pushed at any moment? Every time I face harassers on the streets and hear their whistles and insults, I cringe inside. I feel violated, angry and disgusted. And I want to come right up to the harasser and simply spit into his face.

What the majority of people still do not understand about street harassment, apart from its obvious insulting facets, is the expression of power behind it. Street harassment does not just objectify and degrade women, but also serves as a constant reminder to us of our vulnerability and evokes fear of more serious sexual attacks, i.e. rape. In this way, harassment on the streets can be seen as another way of keeping women ‘in line’, that is, away from public spaces.

And it does keep us in line, doesn’t it? In an attempt to avoid being sexually harassed on the streets, we have to constantly police ourselves. When choosing what to wear for the day, I have to think whether this outfit will attract unwanted attention or not, pick long skirts or pants, avoid wearing revealing, tight or short clothes. When going down the street, I put in the ear buds; turn the volume up to the max to block out catcalls and whistles and walk down the street, ignoring lewd smiles and stares. I avoid using certain “unsafe” streets and alleys. When seeing a large group of men approaching, I sometimes even cross to the other side of the street, or change direction and go back, all the time avoiding eye contact with them. I avoid, avoid and avoid…

So how is it possible to be content with harassment that limits my self-expression, restricts my freedom of movement and keeps me in constant fear of an attack? And why should I suffer and police myself all the time? I always feel extremely angry and frustrated about having to use these tactics, because it is not my fault, and the other party needs to change their attitude, and not me who is being harassed.

Of course, there are strategies of resistance for instance: going up to the harasser and staring him down, taking the cellphone out and threatening him with calling the police (a quite useless tactic though, given the above-mentioned behavior of police officers), shaming him and cursing loudly to attract attention of the passersby (especially in public transport).

But these strategies are limited and only work in some cases, since the overall culture and acceptance of violence, discrimination and objectification of women and girls cripples all attempts to fight harassment…

Aikanysh graduated from the University of Freiburg with a degree in European Literatures and Cultures and recently from the Diplomatic Academy of the KR with a degree in International Relations. Aikanysh is a co-founding member and coordinator of the Bishkek Feminist Collective SQ. Salidat is an undergraduate student at Kyrgyz National University and a dedicated volunteer at the Bishkek Feminist Collective SQ.

Bishkek Feminist Collective SQ was founded in 2012 by activists from various communities of Bishkek city. Follow BFC SQ on Twitter, @bish_feminists and on Facebook.

В России

Уличные домогательства в Бишкеке – проблема огромного масштаба. Девочки, девушки и женщины сталкиваются с этим каждый день, каждый час, каждую минуту. Мы постоянно ловим на себе оценивающие взгляды незнакомых людей на улицах города, нас освистывают, настойчиво сигналят вслед, отпускают в наш адрес мерзкие “шуточки”, грубо хватают, обливают водой. Мы постоянно слышим унизительные замечания о своей внешности, фигуре, степени привлекательности и о том, что с нами следует сделать, если мы окажемся наедине с пристающим(и).

Вместо того, чтобы бороться с уличными домогательствами, наше общество романтизирует и пытается представить их как лестное отношение к женщинам. Поэтому когда я жалуюсь друзьям и близким на случаи домогательства, они смеются надо мной, говоря, что я должна радоваться тому, что мужчины находят меня привлекательной. “Принимай это как комплимент, – говорят они, – Это знак восхищения” – “Ты ему просто понравилась!”,  или же – “А как еще люди смогут познакомиться, если никто не будет подходить друг к другу на улице?”

Очень часто они обосновывают такое поведение, говоря что “ну, ты, наверное, сама напросилась: твой вырез был слишком глубок, ты слишком сильно накрасилась, твоя юбка/платье были слишком коротки” и т.д. и т.п. Люди готовы использовать любое оправдание, чтобы рационализировать домогательства и представить их как что-то нормальное, в то время как слова поддержки и понимания произносятся крайне редко.

Даже сотрудники правоохранительных органов активно принимают участие в нормализации уличных домогательств: проходя мимо представителя нашей “доблестной” милиции, нередко можно услышать, как он бормочет тебе вслед  что-то о твоей внешности.

Вопрос, который я обычно задаю в ответ на эти комментарии, следующий: как можно радоваться тому, что меня воспринимают как обьект, чья ценность измеряется лишь в так называемой “сексапильности”. Как можно радоваться тому, что к тебе относятся как к предмету, который можно в любой момент остановить, схватить, толкнуть, потрогать, оценить… Каждый раз, когда я сталкиваюсь с домогательствами, слышу посвистывания, поцокивания и выкрики вроде: “Айиии, чон кыз”, “Девушка, девушка” и “Какая самочка!”, я съеживаюсь внутри, мне становится мерзко и противно. Я чувствую себя униженной, оплеванной и в то же время испытываю сильный гнев. Хочется подойти и плюнуть в лицо пристающему.

Большая часть людей до сих пор не понимают, что помимо того, что домогательства оскорбительны, они также являются выражением властных отношений в обществе. Уличные домогательства не только объективизируют и унижают женщин, но также служат нам постоянным напоминанием о нашей уязвимости и вызывают страх более серьёзных нападений на сексуальной почве, т.е. изнасилований. Таким образом, домогательства в общественных местах можно рассматривать как еще один метод контроля над женщинами, как способ держать нас в «узде» и подальше от общественных мест.

И это действительно держит нас в  «узде», не так ли?  Чтобы избежать уличных домогательств, нам приходится постоянно контролировать и ограничивать себя. При выборе одежды в начале дня, я думаю о том, привлечет ли наряд нежелательное внимание или нет; выбираю брюки и длинные юбки; стараюсь не носить обтягивающую, открытую, короткую одежду. Когда я выхожу из дома, я вставляю в уши наушники, ставлю громкость на максимум, чтобы не слышать различных  посвистываний и поцокиваний и, идя вниз по улице, пытаюсь не обращать внимание на пристальные взгляды и ухмылки окружающих. Я избегаю ходить по определенным “небезопасным” улицам и переулкам,  держусь подальше от определенных мест.  Увидев группу мужчин, двигающихся в моем направлении, я иногда даже перехожу на другую сторону улицы, либо поворачиваю назад, все время избегая зрительного контакта с потенциальными обидчиками.  В уме постоянно крутится инструкция – избегать, избегать, избегать…

Конечно, есть и тактики сопротивления, например, подойти к пристающему на улице и медленно окинуть его с ног до головы изучающе-нахальным взглядом; вынуть сотовый телефон из сумки и пригрозить звонком в милицию (довольно-таки бесполезная тактика, учитывая поведение самих милиционеров, но время от времени срабатывает); громко пристыдить и обругать его, таким образом привлекая внимание окружающих (особенно в общественном транспорте). Однако такие тактики ограничены и действуют лишь в некоторых случаях, так как повсеместная культура и приятие насилия, дискриминации и объективизации женщин часто сводит на нет все попытки бороться с домогательствами…

 

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