I need your help! I was just at a CVS in line and the guy behind me said to the woman in front of me, “Has anyone ever called you Peg?” and she looked at him and paused. I guess this woman looks like an actress with the name of Peg from a TV show (that I am not familiar with). He went on saying something like, “She’s the one on that show….”. The woman, still hesitant (maybe she really was the actress in question, she had on her sunglasses!) said something to acknowledge that she knew of the actress and that yes, in fact, people had asked her this question. He came back (and here is where I need your help) with, “Well I mean that as a compliment, because I think she is HO-OT!”

The woman had completed her check out and didn’t say much and just moved on out the door.

Ugh. I was tongue-tied, but felt badly. I wondered if I should have said something to the woman, like, “Is this conversation ok? Would you rather not be the object of this guy’s fantasies?” of course loudly. I didn’t. Maybe because I’m pretty low key and whenever I’ve made a scene it always seems to backfire on me. But maybe I should have….

– Alan

Location: West Palm Beach, FL

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This just happened a few minutes ago. I was walking to the store to pick up some groceries. It’s exactly one block from my apartment. I live near Pike Place Market. I managed to make it exactly half a block when I made the mistake of looking both ways when near a busy-ish parking garage. A man, who I only got a glance at noticed me and started with the smile routine. When I ignored him he escalated saying things along the lines of me “wasting” my looks, that some day they’ll go away (as if my value as a human being is based solely on my appearance), and when I continued to ignore him started ranting about it to people passing by. I managed to go into the store without the creep following me. It took sooooo much effort not to lose my temper. I often feel that I have to wear headphones in order to be left alone, and sometimes that doesn’t work.

– H.M.

Location: Seattle, WA

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This afternoon, I was with the little 2-year-old I nanny for. I had pulled the stroller over to the side of the footpath and I was giving her some apple. We were on a nice street in a nice, posh neighbourhood. I saw in my side vision, a man walking towards me and past me but I didn’t look at him on purpose because he was shouting, “Hi bitch! Hi bitch!” over and over again.

When he had continued walking down the road, (still shouting it), I turned and he was walking backwards watching me and shouting. When I caught his eye and he saw I had looked at him, he gave me ‘the finger’ and kept shouting “hi bitch!”

He was shouting it so loudly that women started coming out of shops and buildings to see what was going on. Since I was really the only person there they asked me what was happening and I said, “Apparently he’s talking to me.”

He was still shouting it and staring at me and giving me the finger, and all the women said, “Oh, okay” and went back into their buildings.

I just walked away…

– Anonymous

Location: on a street in Paris, France

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I smile when I’m embarrassed. It’s like laughing when your tickled, it’s not *funny*, it’s just a reaction.

I was stopped at a stoplight, eating some fries from the drive through with the windows down, and a car of three men pulled up along side me. “Hey baby! Didya buy me some? Would you like me to buy you some more?”

The embarrassed smile shows up and my face burns. I don’t respond and face forward.

“C’mon baby, let’s go back for more!”

I feel like my smile is giving him permission to continue, and I can’t reach the passenger side crank to roll up the window (yeah, old school).

Longest red light ever. I was a block from the laundromat I was going to, and I felt the need to make sure my car wasn’t very visible from the main road, in case they decided to stop if they saw it.

I felt ashamed that all I did was smile and blush. I couldn’t help myself, but it seems like consent to them.

– Anonymous

Location: Appleton, WI

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I take dance classes near my apartment and frequently walk down a crowded street to get there. One day I was walking home after an especially intense class, clearly sweaty and out of breath with messy hair. I walked by a man who yelled loudly to his male friends, “OOOOH, WOW, look at Miss All-Natural coming our way.”

I ignored him and kept walking, trying to pass them quickly.

“..that’s a little too natural for me though!” the man added after I refused to respond. He and his friends laughed.

They took up the entire width of the sidewalk, so I had to walk through their group to get by. I walked with my head down. It was humiliating and HORRIFYING to know that people like this exist – people who think it’s okay to yell at a girl on the street, and then make fun of the way she looks when she refuses to respond.

What I look like shouldn’t matter, but I almost felt like how dressed down I was should have been a deterrent for awful guys like this. The incident made me feel like there is absolutely nothing I can do about street harassment. I felt weak and powerless.

– Anonymous

Location: Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles, CA

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