I stumbled upon this site. I think the work you are doing is really good!

I am from India and street harassment here is often trivialized by using words like “eve teasing.” It happens to us all the time, everywhere! The fact that most of us here use public transport and also because all forms of public transport are dreadfully crowded makes it very easy for groping and other forms of unwelcome touching!

I am forty-five-years-old and so no longer the target for this. But I remember how much of a problem it is when you are a teenager or even younger. I have a teen-aged daughter and so this is something that I have alerted her about . It is no point avoiding public transport. It is part of life here and one needs to be alert about guys who feel you up or whistle at you on the road.

I have often found that guys who grope you in a crowd are usually middle aged men while those who whistle and make noises at you on the road are much younger. The guys who grope generally target young girls -teenage or younger. The child usually is so shocked because she is embarrassed and does not have the confidence to say anything. It helps if someone notices this and takes on the creep! When it happens on the road and others watch there is a feeling of deep anger and embarrassment.

I will tell you about an incident that happened when I was in college. I was in a bus sitting on the aisle seat. There was a man standing on the aisle who was falling all over me and trying to squeeze in between my knees. The lady by the window was not affected but I was distinctly uncomfortable. So I finally asked him loudly if he wanted to sit on my lap? I guess I embarrassed him enough for him to move away. Some school kids who were at the back thanked me when I got off the bus. They said that he had behaved similarly with them and it was to avoid him that they had migrated to the rear of the bus.

We in India are in a sort of social change mode at this moment after the gruesome rape of a young woman in Delhi in December this year. There have been protests and debates on this entire issue demanding a stronger anti rape law.

While rape is horrible and probably an extreme situation, I think people need to take this kind of harassment equally seriously in our country. I really like what you are doing and wish there were more organizations in our country which worked exclusively on this ( we have so many problems affecting women that this is just one in the long list ).

– Meera

Location: India

Share YOUR street harassment story for the blog

Plan to speak out against street harassment, April 7-13, 2013, during International Anti-Street Harassment Week.

I’m almost in shock that there’s a place to write this down. I’ve been harassed more times than I could ever, ever remember. I’m 48 years old. If you assume 52 weeks a year starting at about age 12 to age 42 – that’s 30 years x 52 weeks = 1,560 and that’s not even taking into account that harassment took place absolutely more than once a week; especially at work. Assuming twice a week, that’s 3,120 times in my life from age 12-42. This is not exaggeration; merely fact.

I’m older now and while no one wants to ‘grow old’, less harassment is one benefit. It’s sad that as a woman, I am almost relieved that my youth is gone; simply because I am harassed less which gives me a chance to feel more free to move about without eyes on me, comments, glares. A man could never understand this.

As wrong as I knew it always was, I never thought I’d see the day when there would be a place to talk about it.

My usual response to harassment was loud, angry, cursing, etc. but as I got older, I’d simply ignore it and keep moving or going about my business.

The most recent incident came when the owner of our local gas station sold to new people. From the first time I went into this place I felt immediately uncomfortable. As is the case with gas stations, quite often, more than one man works there. They would all stare at me like they’d never seen a female before. It was quite bizarre. I tried to pay for my gas and go and the guy behind the counter said ‘you’re so beautiful’ which, as these things go, is not the worst thing one can hear, but accompanied by the wolfish look and the fact that it’s 3 or 4 men at once staring at you, it’s very nerve-wracking.

I went back a few weeks later and the same guy who had called me beautiful said it again and this time asked what my nationality was, which is a question I find annoying as I’m mixed heritage and it takes too long to get into when, hello, all I’m trying to do is buy gas and go about my day! Why should my day be interrupted and slowed down? By the third time I went in I was no longer Lisa or Annette or Angela, I was ‘hi beautiful’ then a wolfish stare. I like my anonymity; I don’t crave attention/harassment so I stopped going there and instead drive almost a mile out of my way to get gas without being made to feel like a piece of meat or a treat of some kind. Plus, given this place is not always packed with people, I felt unsafe and simply made up my mind; I’m not going there again.

I doubt men can understand the feeling women have of never being anonymous. I can never just go out without feeling like my presence is being noticed and thought about or commented on.

Being asked to suck someone’s **** or being called pretty or beautiful again and again, surprisingly can make me feel almost the same level of violation and annoyance. Just leave me alone; let me be; let me walk and live my life in peace, without the never ending commentary. Please.

– Anonymous

Location: New York City

Share YOUR street harassment story for the blog

Plan to speak out against street harassment, April 7-13, 2013, during International Anti-Street Harassment Week.

I am originally from Goshen, NY, but my father’s family is from Bogota. Back in 1977 I lived there for 7 months. During that time, I was amazed at the brazenness of the men…as an 18 yr old NY’er I thought I had seen/heard it all, but the groping on the overcrowded bus became too much, so I took a cab or walked from then on.

Then one afternoon while walking home, a “postman” who had just delivered our mail, slapped me on the ass as I walked by!!! I flipped out, let out a stream of very NY comments, but he just laughed and walked on. I went in and quickly told my very proper Aunt and Uncle what had transpired, and they looked at each-other and replied “tranquila, está bien”. Looks like nothing has changed in these 36 years.

I danced for V-day here in my little town of Boone NC. Let’s Break the Chain!

– Maxelle Patricia Boutelle

Location: Bogota, Colombia

Share YOUR street harassment story for the blog

Plan to speak out against street harassment from April 7-13 during International Anti-Street Harassment Week.

I was visiting a friend out of town for the weekend and arrived to a Friday evening concert event where we were meeting up. As I was walking alone from the parking area to the event entrance, two men sitting in a truck rolled down their windows and began shouting at me as I passed them.

I ignored them and kept walking — my usual response to this — but when they persisted I had a change of heart.I turned around and walked directly to the window, looked them both in the eye and calmly said, “I just wanted to let you know it is really rude to shout at someone like that, and most women do not appreciate it.”

They apologized and said they were just trying to be nice and say hi, and I told them how that behavior can be perceived as threatening.

I walked away feeling so positive and empowered, and I hope what I said had some impact on those men and their future behavior.

I have said it before but I completely credit the SSH community for empowering and encouraging me to take on street harassment in this productive way. The conversations that stem from this community allow me to think about appropriate responses to street harassment before they happen in my daily life. That way, when an instance does arise, I already know what to say and do. The difference between confronting someone for their bad behavior instead of sadly or fearfully hurrying away is monumental. Thank you to everyone who contributes to these meaningful discussions and supports each other in standing up to harassment.

Sarah

Location: Buffalo, NY

Share YOUR street harassment story for the blog

Plan to speak out against street harassment, April 7-13, 2013, during International Anti-Street Harassment Week.