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Begone, man who harasses women every day outside the Metro station

December 8, 2011 By Contributor

There is a man who loiters in front of the Rosslyn metro station on Fort Meyer Drive that harasses women every morning. He makes inappropriate comments, leers, jeers and comments on how we look. Everything from “Wow you’re lookin’ good today” to looking women up and down as we walk by. I’ve been witnessing this every day on my way to work since I started taking that metro in May.

He made his first comment to me last week-telling me, “Wow you are a big girl,” and then proceeded to look up and down all 6’0 feet of me. I yelled, “I can’t believe you just said that!” He kept talking and I kept walking.

For the past seven months I have watched women in response to this mans inappropriate commentary, smile politely back at him, tell him thank you, ignore him and or giggle uncomfortably.

That doesn’t work for me.

I called the Arlington police on him yesterday morning and requested that they remove the man permanently. I told them that he harasses women everyday. The officer didn’t seem to really understand my complaint. I then asked the officer if loitering is legal there and she replied, “No.” I asked that they remove the man for loitering. That seemed to have been the language that she needed.

That man was no where to be seen this morning and it was blissful and victorious. Perhaps he took the day off and will be back-time will tell. If he does return, I will call the Arlington police everyday until he is gone permanently and I told them I would do so. Thanks everyone!

– Anonymous

Location: Rosslyn Metro, Arlington, Virginia

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“It took me 18 years to summon the courage and power to defend myself”

December 7, 2011 By Contributor

I was walking down a busy street when a young street vendor on the sidewalks -close to me- started talking to me and calling me (in Arabic of course): “Hey baby, look at me, what’s up honey, you’re so pretty” and kept following me for a few feet.

That’s when something inside me ‘popped’, I couldn’t take it anymore; girls in Arabic societies are always advised never to reply or give attention to a harasser, and through years of doing so (ignoring harassers and tolerating them), I had not found the courage to speak out, to object to it.

Maybe it was because of our social customs or of personal fear that the harasser may attack me. well he didn’t, I stopped walking and I shouted (also in Arabic): “Stop it now!” and looked him straight in the eyes. To my amazement, and his astonishment, he did. He froze and swiftly turned his head away so bystanders wouldn’t realize I was addressing him. And finally, for once, I felt vindicated.

Verbal harassment is the most common type of harassment. To me, and many other girls, the mere idea of replying to the harasser scares us. As simple and quick were the words I uttered, it took me 18 years to summon the courage and power to yell it out, to defend myself.

– Anonymous

Location: Alexandria, Egypt

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

First harassment experience at age 12

December 6, 2011 By Contributor

I’ve been harassed on several occasions and like most women I’ve sadly gotten used to it.

But I’ll never forget the first time it happened to me, when I was as young as 12, going to my first guitar practice appointment. I was wearing blue jeans and a white tunic shirt. I had grown breasts pretty fast but how could these men not have not known I was a preteen?

As I walked to the building I felt eyed, like my body wasn’t my own, yet I hadn’t even looked up to know it for certain. I heard a whistle and some giggling and saw two men with blue collar clothes and steel-toed shoes, I’d guess they were in their 30s or 40s.

I didn’t know how to feel. Were they making fun of me or did they, grown men, find a child attractive? I hated them but should I? Or should I want this attention? I felt disgusted with both myself and them and when I told my mother about it she was surprised but clearly didn’t think cat calling was any big deal.

And for years I thought it was nothing, but now I realize my first instincts were right.

– Anonymous

Location: Upstate New York

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“It’s better to intervene”

December 5, 2011 By Contributor

I was at a college bar and I witnessed a man touching a woman’s butt while she was moving away from him and closer to her friends. By what I saw there was a chance that he was harassing her and she was moving toward her friends for safety. I asked her if she knew him, and she said he’s her boyfriend. Apparently she was not being harassed and was moving away from him because she wanted to talk to her friends.

This is what many bystanders are afraid of: intervening when there’s no harassment going on. But like this scenario, it really wasn’t that bad. She just told me that he was her boyfriend, and that was the end of it. I intervened because I remember somewhere else I witnessed a man grinding on a woman who didn’t know him (that time it turned out to be true), and I took advantage of the crowded place by blocking his access to her as she walked away. I know that it’s common in crowded places. It’s better to intervene and be told by her that she’s not being harassed than to watch the harassment and allow it to happen.

– Concealed Weapon

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Filed Under: male perspective, Stories, street harassment

Snapshot of Street Harassment Stories, News, & Tweets: December 4, 2011

December 4, 2011 By HKearl

Read stories, news articles, blog posts, and tweets about street harassment from the past week.

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Street Harassment Stories:

Share your story! You can read new street harassment stories on the Web from the past week at:

Stop Street Harassment Blog

HarassMap Egypt

Resist Harassment Lebanon

Many of the Hollaback sites

In the News, on the Blogs:

* Human Rights First, “Why Egyptian Women are Mad and Marching“

* Gender Across Borders, “Piropos & the Panamanian Police: Street Harassment in the Spanish-Speaking World“

* Trust.org, “The Word on Women – Afghanistan’s Young Women – Interview with Anita Haidary“

* Lankasri News, “70% sexual harassment in public transport“

* Feminaust, “Review: Cairo 678“

* The Pixel Project, “16 Memorable Ways of Dealing With Street Harassment“

* Resisting the Milieu, “Be a Real Man: Pledge to Confront and Shame Street Harassers“

* Nothing but a Human, “Fanon, Alienation and Sexual Harassment“

* NBC News, “Using social media tools to battle sexual harassment in Egypt“

* Planet Powai, “Street play on Eve-teasing, police campaign“

* Daily Mirror, “Sexual harassment in public transport“

* Temporinteraktif, “Harassment on Transjakarta Bus Increases“

* Red Light Politics, “Anti street harassment campaigns“

* GOOD, “iHollaback Is the New Rape Whistle: Shaming Street Harassers with Cellphone Pics“

Announcements:

New:

* Through December 9th, two trucks will roam the streets of Lebanon, playing a message about sexual harassment, “Catcalls are not acceptable words to say,” and “The word is sexual harassment, fight back.”

* Read the “Men who say no to street harassment” blog post, part of Must Bol’s 16 Days blogathon.

* A high school class in NYC created a PSA about street harassment: “You’re NOT alone – street harassment”

* Noorjahan Akbar, co-founder of Young Women for Change, talks about their anti-street harassment efforts in Afghanistan

Reminders:

* Young Women for Change (Afghanistan) launched Poster in the City. All Afghan artists are encouraged to submit their art work that focuses on women’s rights, gender equality, and the elimination of violence against women. It can be in any form such as drawing, water painting, black and white charcoal drawing- or digital pictures. Full details available online.

* In India, Must Bol is running a Men Say No Blogathon for the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence

* Hollaback West Yorkshire (UK) is undertaking the first ever survey of street harassment in West Yorkshire. If you live in the area, take it by Dec. 10.

* During the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence, Stop Street Harassment is featuring 16 names women do NOT want to be called by strangers on the streets. Ending the social acceptability of men calling women these names takes us one step closer to creating a culture where gender violence doesn’t happen.

* You can purchase the Stop Street Harassment book for 50% off right now!

10 Tweets from the Week:

1. kossoycj Why are you telling me that I look like your ex girlfriend and following me? I don’t know you #streetharassment

2. DiinaSalama Angered and outraged by the harassment stories told. Suffering in silence became so normal that we don’t take it seriously. #EndSH

3. SpookSquad So sick to death of rude, stalk-y, predatory behavior from guys. You were just pointless. Both of you can go F yourselves. #StreetHarassment

4. michelehumes So tired of street harassment. Started “holla-ing back” 3 years ago. At best, it does nothing. Last night it put me in danger.

5. HollaBackBmore Tired of being seen as a “thing.” When #streetharassment happens, check in w/ yr friend, empower them, not the harasser!…

6. nmoawad Hilarious, check it out. Women turn into street harassers to combat sexual harassment youtube.com/watch?v=sB-Rr8… #endSH

7. RoqayaA Ladies check out YWCA Safety Siren app. For social, health, and most importantly safety tips and a panic siren. #EndSH #harassment

8. pakinamamer Half of my life I’ve walked like a soldier or dressed conservatively enough to avoid sexual harassment on the street. But one gets tired.

9. MeganFinnegan Creepiest street catcall ever, me w/ scarf over my rain-soaked head, no umbrella: “I like the way you cover your head, sweetheart.” Really?!

10. MustBol When did you realize that street harassment exists ?

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Filed Under: hollaback, News stories, Stories, street harassment, weekly round up Tagged With: 16 days, must bol, sexual harassment, street harassment, young women for change

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