I was in the park with some friends and two guys yelled at me from across the way, “Your skirt looks sexy!”

Needless to say I didn’t know who they were, didn’t indicate in any way that I wanted to talk to them or that I wanted their attention. I yelled back at them not to yell at me like that, and that I’m not interested in them or what they think of my clothes. They muttered among themselves, said a few unintelligible things, and finally one of them yelled back that he had a girlfriend (how is this significant to me?).

I was very bothered by this, and felt scared, even though they ended up leaving after that, but the worst part of this event is not what they did, but how my so-called friends reacted. There were several women and men there, and none of them backed me up. They actively ignored me and looked embarrassed. In fact, one of the boys said, “I’ve already been in a fight today and I don’t need an other one,” as if I was causing trouble and as if I had even asked him to fight for me! In fact I didn’t say anything at all to them to indicate I expected anything.

Another so-called female friend was mad at me the whole rest of the night and then told my husband later how she wished she would get “male attention”, and also asked me “what do you expect, wearing that skirt in the park at night?”

It was as if every single victim-blaming cliche was pulled out and used to justify them avoiding feeling their feelings of discomfort and abdicating responsibility for their choices.

I am not friends with any of those people anymore. This incident pretty much showed me how little I had in common with them and that I deserved better friends. I am angry at the harassers, and I am angry that the people I was there with actively went out of their way to indicate that I was the one with the problem.

– NSL

Location: City Hall Park, Burlington, VT

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I was walking in the center of Santiago, Chile, where I receive catcalls and whistles several times a day. As I passed a man on the sidewalk he said, “Hello pretty girl, you are beautiful.” I said something ugly but he continued. So I said, “Hey! Don’t talk to me like that. I don’t know you. Shut up.” He looked flustered and repeated, “Shut up?” I said, “Yes. Leave me alone,” and walked off. He didn’t call anything after me.

In Chilean culture it’s very unusual for people to directly confront each other about things, especially in public. This happened to be right in front of a restaurant with seating on the sidewalk, so a lot of people saw it happen. My hope is that the man was so embarrassed that he will think twice about doing it again.

– Anonymous

Location: Av. Portugal, Santiago, Chile

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I experienced four incidents on a Saturday evening in the space of ten minutes while walking down a relatively isolated street (for pedestrians) but it was fairly busy with lots of cars on the streets.

I was wearing my work outfit (I work in a retirement home) which consists of an overlarge dark navy shirt with sleeves to my elbows, a collar and most of it covering my bum, with a long baggy black workpants and ankle high black boots. My hair was pulled back in a tight and tidy ponytail.

I was making my way down the street when a car honked at me from behind. I resisted the urge to look back, but I could see a car drive past with at least two guys leaning out of it checking me out.

I was a little upset, but chose not to show it. What got me truly angry was that barely ten second later, a car drove from behind me and a random man yelled out to me, “You fucking slut!”

Considering that I was dressed as I described, in overlarge clothes and baggy pants, I was very upset. My response was to give him the finger, but the car was speeding and they probably hardly saw it, but they definitely saw my hand move up.

Five minutes later, another car drove by and one man yelled out ‘Merry Christmas’. while barely 20 seconds later, another in a taxi with its windows down said ‘Hey Babe’ as the taxi drove past.

The other later incidents would not be very upsetting, but being called a ‘slut’ had already riled me so much that I reacted badly to the other minor ‘call outs’.

I wish there was something I could do to against these ‘drive by’ harassers. I’ve walked down that stretch of road a many a time, and the harassment is worst on weekends, Thursday and Friday nights. However, to have been harassed four times in the space of less than 10 minutes by drive by cowards….

– Ann

Location: Castle Hill, Sydney, Australia

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Street harassment and stranger harassment are one in the same. I am an American woman who owns a small hotel in Livorno, Italy. It’s a family hotel that is pretty much for tourists, locals can’t stay.

Street harassment is so bad in Italy, I barely go outside. The only time I go out is when I am with my partner and sometimes I still get kisses blown at me, and stares. Because we are a mixed couple, people don’t assume that we’re even together.

Today, while at the hotel, a man called. He wanted to book a room for December 30-31. My Italian isn’t so great, so I apologized. He said that he already knew that I was American and had an athletic build. Then asked if he could book an escort for those nights. Oh my God!

I stay in the house day in and day out because people of the stares, lewd remarks, gestures and comments I have received within the five years of living here. To be harassed in my own business and have someone assume that I am somehow involved in prostitution because I am a woman of color, enrages me. Here, you can’t even hide or take control of your own environment!

– Anonymous

Location: Livorno, Italy

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