I used to play music so I’m no stranger to the stupid things that can come out of the mouths of arrested development types. Let’s say I’m desensitized to some extent. But what happened to me about a month ago went completely over the edge and I still smiled.

It’s official. No good deeds go unpunished. I was volunteering at the annual fundraiser for a great music series. Everything went well. After my shift, I went to have some dinner and had a few drinks. Then, a man who had passed by me several times while I was working struck up a conversation.

He struck me as reasonably intelligent, rather attractive and funny as well as quite drunk. Then, he let out a zinger. “You have beautiful breasts,” as he leered at them. Mind you, I wasn’t wearing anything very revealing. I laughed it off and kept up the conversation. Then he told me, “I bet your pussy is very sweet.” I laughed. I should have called security as this point but didn’t want to embarrass him or make a scene. Then, the third zinger, “I bet you get laid all the time.”

It all confused me so much. I ended hanging out with him on and off throughout the night and lost him at the end of the event. The next morning I felt uneasy about the situation so I posted a Missed Connection in Craigslist. Lo and behold, he answered it suspecting he would be getting one. Shock of shocks. I dropped a few big hints about his behavior the night before in the friendliest way possible. We wrote a little back and forth. He didn’t seem to understand what I was getting at.

Then, nothing. A week later, I was annoyed by the situation so I just leveled with him and how his behavior was completely unacceptable. No response. No “I’m so sorry. I was drunk” apology. Nothing. So I did more research on street and public harassment and found that my story was pretty bad. So I sent him a few emails urging him to give money to anti-street harassment groups listing the exact statements he made to me about my chest, genitals and sex life.

Now, he’s on my weekly sexual harassment story email list. He’s probably had all my emails thrown to spam since the beginning so he’s probably not even reading them. But it does make me feel better. I’m hopeful he’s learned that he can’t treat a woman like that ever. We’re not talking a young kid. This man is 42.

There is no excuse for his actions but if he had apologized up front — the minute he realized he may have said some inappropriate things, I would have been cool about it. After all, people get drunk and do things they regret. But real men apologize.

– Anonymous

Location: Prospect Park, Brooklyn, New York

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Last year there were a few concentrated incidents that all happened in the same place. I used to get a lift to work and had to wait on a busy road for my pick-up. Bearing in mind this was before 8 a.m. in the morning, I would still get harassed.

Sometimes it would just be a beeping horn, but it started to concern me when men would stick their head out of windows and shout comments at me. One time it was a bus driver who wolf-whistled and shouted at me, which shocked me even more. The men would usually leer, make a comment about the way I was dressed or the way I looked and then laugh.

One morning a man stuck his head fully out the window and made gestures suggestive of oral sex.

It really bothered me because I didn’t feel free to do what I want, or wear what I want. I didn’t want to stop wearing dresses to work, but it really put me off. I can’t really describe accurately how angry or upset I was about it all, it didn’t make me feel respected as a person at all.

– FW

Location: Durham, UK

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I’m writing to tell you about an incident which happened last week. I was working from home and needed to [run some errands] like pick up a parcel and pop into the supermarket and buy a few things for dinner. I decided to beat the lunchtime ‘rush’ and leave at 11 a.m. Anyway, I rounded the corner from my road into the main thoroughfare and there was a man walking by the bus stop; now I’m not normally a nervous or jumpy pedestrian but something about this bloke made me feel uneasy.

I walked by, trying to keep my expression as neutral as possible, but once he’d passed me he said loudly, “Make sure you don’t take your eye out with one of those!” gesturing towards my breasts. I shouted, “What did you mean?” and swore at him, but he turned onto my road and carried on regardless. What this man forgot was that he was wearing a reflective tabard with his company name printed on the back; I made a mental note of this.

I continued my journey feeling angry and upset – why had this happened? Yes, I have a large chest and men often stare, whatever I’m wearing. Quite frankly though, this doesn’t give people the divine right to comment, nobody in this day and age should be doing this. Women get a raw deal. I noted the recent ‘slut walk’ which took place in the centre of London which was women basically saying ‘I can wear what I like and stuff you.’

When I returned home I googled it, as you can imagine it’s a fairly common occurance and there are websites devoted to it: http://www.stopstreetharassment.com/ plus campaigns to raise awareness.

As for me, well I contacted the culprit’s company, and they were quick to respond and I must admit, I was impressed with the way they dealt with it. I answered all of the detailed questions. If the person isn’t caught, at least the company will highlight the need for their staff to behave in an appropriate manner. Whatever happens, I’ll keep on fighting and I’ll let you know how the situation develops.

– Jo

Location: Bexleyheath, Kent, DA7

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