This incident happened about four years ago. I was living in South Philadelphia back then. I would ride the Broad Street subway to and from work. A few weeks prior to the incident, a young woman had been stabbed by some man on that same line that I rode because she ignored his advances.

I rode the subway everyday and rode home after work during peak hours. This meant full to capacity trains. I was starting to get nervous riding the subway alone, but I didn’t like to drive into the city, parking was expensive! After hearing the story of this young woman I bought a taser.

One night after work, I’m riding the train, usually I keep my headphones in. I had been harassed before and I just made it a habit to wear the headphones so maybe men wouldn’t approach me. I get off at my stop and begin walking home. It was about a ten minute walk. Not too bad. It wasn’t dark so I wasn’t too worried. It was summertime though, and in my neighborhood it seemed like groups of men just sat on their steps, got drunk and hollered at the passing women all day. I tried to always be careful, be aware of my surroundings, keep my music low enough to hear anyone approaching, cross the street just in case the group of men was too large.

Well this night, it was only about 6:30 p.m., I’m walking past these men. I just got off of work and I worked in an office so I had on slacks and a button up blouse. One man started whistling. The kind of whistling you do to call a dog. I was pissed. I wanted so badly to say something but there were about six of them so I keep going. He whistles again, maybe three times. When I get by him he blocks my path, so I tried to cross the street.

Upset that I didn’t react to his “advances”, he decides to grab my arm. He screams, “Yo Bitch, I’m talking to you!” I yank my arm away, but by this time he decides to grab the back of my neck. He whispers to me, “I got something for mean Bitches like you.”

His “crew” were all like man what are you doing? When he turns his head to respond to them, I dig my taser out of my bag, I always kept it within reach and tased him right in the chest. He let go and went down. I stood right there and called 911. Crazy thing was, when the cops got there, they took our statements but I got in trouble because the voltage on my taser was too high. Nothing was done to him, NOTHING! the officers just kept saying, “BUT YOU TASED HIM” I was so angry. It took me a long time to recover. I started driving to work after that.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Although, I got in trouble for mine, I would recommend a taser. Maybe research if they’re legal where you live first. I don’t want to think about what might have happened if he would have taken me inside the house that night. I’ll gladly take a ticket for defending my life, then who knows what….defend yourselves stand up for yourselves. Don’t let anyone get away with disrespecting you.

– SP

Location: South Philly, PA

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

I was at Target with three of my friends (all girls) and one of them wanted to get coffee from the Starbucks that was inside the Target. So the four of us went over and waited in line and it was moving pretty slowly and after a while this guy came up to us. He had a big cart and kindly asked us to let him through and as he was passing us he stopped. He stood really close to us and said, “Did you know that, in my past life, I was hanged for killing young intelligent women like you? I ran them over in a place just like this but of course it wasn’t called Target back then.” We all just stared at him. We were so creeped out. He continued, “Haha I’m just joking. Thank you pretty ladies for taking the time to let me joke with you today.”

None of us were amused or thought he was joking.

Fast-forward about 10 minutes. We had discussed creepy man and one of my friends said he reeked of alcohol and we had seen him talking to another group of people from our school (we were 14/15 at the time) and he touched one of their shoulders so when we had our drinks we got the hell out of there. We were trying to leave before he saw us again and just avoid him all together but that didn’t work so well. He abandoned his cart and followed the four of us for almost five blocks. He even took shortcuts to catch up to us and we sprinted away because we were so terrified.

We were so focused on getting away from him that we forgot about the police station right across the street that everyone said we should have gone to.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Educate people Educate people about how it is actually offensive and creepy, not a compliment.about how it is actually offensive and creepy, not a compliment.

– Anonymous

Location: Minneapolis, MN

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

I was 14 years old and I was heading to the swimming pool on the 4th floor of the building. It was in the winter so I wore a lot of clothes.

As I entered the elevator, three drunk men followed. During the elevator ride, one of them tried to hug me by my shoulder (it was obvious. It couldn’t have been an accident). I silently moved away, feeling absolutely disgusted. Then another one of them said in a repulsive tone, “Don’t harass such a little girl” (he said that in a way that made it sound so light and that it wasn’t a big deal at all).

The one who tried to harass me added, “Ewwwwww. I didn’t. How could I have my eyes on someone as unattractive as her.”

And then they reached their floor and left, leaving me alone in the elevator. I started crying not only because they completely ruined my evening and tried to harass me, but also because they left such a harsh comment on me. I was at a sensitive age and they action destroyed me.

Now I am 19 and the trauma is still here.

(the dialogue was originally in Chinese.)

– LL

Location: Shanghai, China

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

Last night I was walking to Hollywood and Highland mall along Hollywood’s main strip. It was getting dark, but it wasn’t pitch black. A man walking towards me started to veer in my direction and I knew he was going to try to talk to me. He kept bothering me, asking me for my name and my IG, but I refused to give him said information and kept walking. He said that he was going to keep following me and even asked me if I thought he was crazy. I just did my best to ignore him, put in my headphones, and picked up my pace.

I walked about a block and a half when I looked over my shoulder and realized he was standing at the crosswalk with me. I didn’t panic but I did tell him to stop following me. He proceeded to say,”This is Hollywood… What do you expect?”

I’ve lived in Hollywood for a year. This isn’t the first time I’ve been followed; creepy, older men hit on me almost everyday. I’ve even been proposed to. However, this is the first time I’ve felt this unsafe. I actually still catch myself looking over my shoulder. I think the hardest part is, as a minority, my negative experiences will (more likely than not) be overlooked by on-goers, activists, and police alike. Is it because they assume that I want this attention? Or does my skin colour relegate me to a lesser need for security and safety? I don’t know.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think loitering laws should be a lot stricter in Hollywood. Grown men shouldn’t just be allowed to laze about on street corners for the sole purposes of passing time and “hollering” at women.

– JCH

Location: Hollywood, CA

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

I was recently in Nashville for the weekend with my mother. On our last day, shortly before we had to catch the last bus out of downtown before heading to the airport, I decided to run into one of the bars to buy a souvenir t-shirt. It was close to 90 degrees that day with full sun, so I chose to wear a shorter romper that I knew would keep me cool, and also that I felt comfortable and confident in.

When I walked into the bar, the middle-aged man who was playing on stage with his band stopped in the middle of the song to call out to me on the microphone in front of a fair-sized crowd. He leered and made demeaning and insulting comments to me about my appearance over the microphone, and then proceeded to announce to his audience that, since I wasn’t engaging with him, that I had “no personality,” which earned him some big laughs from the crowd. I turned around and left the bar, prompting him to again interrupt his set to harass me as I walked out of the door.

Needless to say, I was completely humiliated and enraged that he, and the rest of the crowd, saw humor in his unwarranted and hurtful comments. I find myself even more disgusted with the fact that we still live in a society where this is deemed acceptable behavior, so long as it’s in the name of humor.

Curiosity struck me later that night, and so I typed his name in on Google and to my surprise, found that he has not one, but two daughters who appear to be close to my age. This, the fact that this man who takes such pride in his misogynistic comments has two daughters of his own, is what I find to be the most appalling aspect to this story.

It’s unbelievably frustrating to me, who has been raised by strong women and men to have a strong sense of self and to treat others with compassion and empathy, to have found myself in this situation where I still feel powerless and violated. I’ve tried to consider the reason why my harasser, a relatively public figure, would choose to publicly humiliate and degrade me, but I can’t find any reason that would even remotely explain his behavior.

I’ve considered reaching out to him via social media, since I left in such a whirlwind before I could figure out something to say, but I haven’t been able to convince myself to do it. I’m hoping that it may give me closure, but I don’t want to risk the potential backlash if he doesn’t understand my complaint. Is there any advice someone may have for dealing with this situation?

– KG

Location: Broadway, Downtown Nashville, TN

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.