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“This is Hollywood… What do you expect?”

June 1, 2016 By Contributor

Last night I was walking to Hollywood and Highland mall along Hollywood’s main strip. It was getting dark, but it wasn’t pitch black. A man walking towards me started to veer in my direction and I knew he was going to try to talk to me. He kept bothering me, asking me for my name and my IG, but I refused to give him said information and kept walking. He said that he was going to keep following me and even asked me if I thought he was crazy. I just did my best to ignore him, put in my headphones, and picked up my pace.

I walked about a block and a half when I looked over my shoulder and realized he was standing at the crosswalk with me. I didn’t panic but I did tell him to stop following me. He proceeded to say,”This is Hollywood… What do you expect?”

I’ve lived in Hollywood for a year. This isn’t the first time I’ve been followed; creepy, older men hit on me almost everyday. I’ve even been proposed to. However, this is the first time I’ve felt this unsafe. I actually still catch myself looking over my shoulder. I think the hardest part is, as a minority, my negative experiences will (more likely than not) be overlooked by on-goers, activists, and police alike. Is it because they assume that I want this attention? Or does my skin colour relegate me to a lesser need for security and safety? I don’t know.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I think loitering laws should be a lot stricter in Hollywood. Grown men shouldn’t just be allowed to laze about on street corners for the sole purposes of passing time and “hollering” at women.

– JCH

Location: Hollywood, CA

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“I was completely humiliated and enraged”

May 30, 2016 By Contributor

I was recently in Nashville for the weekend with my mother. On our last day, shortly before we had to catch the last bus out of downtown before heading to the airport, I decided to run into one of the bars to buy a souvenir t-shirt. It was close to 90 degrees that day with full sun, so I chose to wear a shorter romper that I knew would keep me cool, and also that I felt comfortable and confident in.

When I walked into the bar, the middle-aged man who was playing on stage with his band stopped in the middle of the song to call out to me on the microphone in front of a fair-sized crowd. He leered and made demeaning and insulting comments to me about my appearance over the microphone, and then proceeded to announce to his audience that, since I wasn’t engaging with him, that I had “no personality,” which earned him some big laughs from the crowd. I turned around and left the bar, prompting him to again interrupt his set to harass me as I walked out of the door.

Needless to say, I was completely humiliated and enraged that he, and the rest of the crowd, saw humor in his unwarranted and hurtful comments. I find myself even more disgusted with the fact that we still live in a society where this is deemed acceptable behavior, so long as it’s in the name of humor.

Curiosity struck me later that night, and so I typed his name in on Google and to my surprise, found that he has not one, but two daughters who appear to be close to my age. This, the fact that this man who takes such pride in his misogynistic comments has two daughters of his own, is what I find to be the most appalling aspect to this story.

It’s unbelievably frustrating to me, who has been raised by strong women and men to have a strong sense of self and to treat others with compassion and empathy, to have found myself in this situation where I still feel powerless and violated. I’ve tried to consider the reason why my harasser, a relatively public figure, would choose to publicly humiliate and degrade me, but I can’t find any reason that would even remotely explain his behavior.

I’ve considered reaching out to him via social media, since I left in such a whirlwind before I could figure out something to say, but I haven’t been able to convince myself to do it. I’m hoping that it may give me closure, but I don’t want to risk the potential backlash if he doesn’t understand my complaint. Is there any advice someone may have for dealing with this situation?

– KG

Location: Broadway, Downtown Nashville, TN

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“Don’t look at her, she is ugly as hell”

May 29, 2016 By Contributor

I decided to go to my public library and as I was on my computer minding my own business there were two guys who looked between the ages of 17 and 19. One sat next to me and he kept glancing at me and I felt nervous and uncomfortable. Next to him was his friend who said, “Don’t look at her, she is ugly as hell.”

So hearing that really pissed me off and I ignored it because I knew if I would have responded the way I was thinking about responding, physically, I would have been arrested and charged. I told the librarian as soon as my session ended and she went and talked to them and I feel like they should have been thrown out the library because I don’t know these bastards and they just randomly sat next to me and began harassing me for no reason. I have never spoken a word to either of them, but they felt they had to comment on my appearance. I felt angry, powerless, and disturbed because I honestly felt like fighting both of them. The sad part is that I am put in the position where I can’t safely defend myself.

– Anonymous

Location: Troy, NY

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“He sneered something derogatory at me”

May 28, 2016 By Contributor

I was home from graduate school. One afternoon I went out for a jog around the neighborhood where I grew up. I turned the corner and saw a young guy on a bike. “Whatever,” I thought and kept running. Bike guy saw me and decided to hop his bike onto the narrow sidewalk, coming towards me. I was forced to move out of his way as he sneered something derogatory at me. I think it’s over but I lapped the block (because I know exactly how many laps are a mile), and I saw and heard him again. And again. And again. One time, he even beckoned me to run alongside him. I ignored him, of course. The last time, he rode really close to me and said something extra nasty and disgusting again. Fortunately I didn’t see him again after that.

Did I mention that more than half of the block I run around is the location of an elementary school?!

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Educate everyone, especially kids, about how it’s not appropriate to harrass other people – they aren’t there for your pleasure or appreciation, they just want to do what they have to do and move on, enjoying life and being safe!

– Anonymous

Location: Leahy School, Lawrence, MA

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“I wish everyone could be treated equally”

May 27, 2016 By Contributor

I am thirteen years old. I was cat-called for the first time today. I had heard about cat-calling happening before, in America and all that, but I didn’t think it would happen in Ireland, or to someone so young like me.

I was walking home from school. There was a girl in front of me who was about a year older than me and a large group of boys in front of me. No, this story is not where you think it is going. It was not the group of boys that cat called me. A man (who looked about 25) was getting into his car with his friend. Next, I see the window rolling down and the man says, “Hey, ladies.”

I was mortified but I ignored him and kept looking down. He was laughing as the car drove off. The girl in front of me seemed to be ignoring the man also. I saw the group of boys looking behind them multiple times, smiling as they did it. Even if I did look older, (which I don’t – I have a flat chest and backside, I’m average height and I don’t wear make-up during school days) I believe it is still completely unacceptable to be cat-called, no matter what you look like or how old you are. I wish everyone could be treated equally. It’s horrible that so many women and young girls like me have to face these situations.

– Anonymous

Location: Ireland

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: first, ireland, older harasser, young age

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