Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Young Boy is a Bystander Hero!

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Note: This is cross-posted from author Julia Price’s Facebook page.

Julia Price, from her Facebook post

I was on my usual running path when I heard an older man yelling loudly enough for me to hear through my headphones. “Sexy lady, hey hey hey sexy lady!” He kept screaming it and I decided to just ignore him and keep running.

This ignoring seemed to piss him off so he lashed out and said “eff you, dumb B****!” Now let’s keep in mind he was well-dressed and appeared to be on his lunch break from an office job.

That was my trigger point. The B word. I ripped off my headphones prepared to stand up for myself when this little boy who was walking alongside his mother and little sister in a stroller looked at the guy and said, “Hey. That is not nice to say to her and she didn’t like you yelling at her. You shouldn’t do that because she is a nice girl and I don’t let anyone say mean things to people. She’s a girl like my sister and I will protect her.”

The man was immediately embarrassed and started gathering his lunch to leave. I asked the mother if I could hug the little boy (his name is James) and I told him how grateful I was for him. He just shrugged and said “Well I just wanted to make sure your heart was okay.”

According to his mother, this is a typical day in the life of James. Thank you so much to the mothers and fathers who are raising the next generation to be brave and courageous, and to be little earth angels for all. I am so touched.

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“That’s not a compliment. That’s my personal hell.”

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I’ve been street harassed more times than I could possibly count or recall. Having said that, I need to be very clear about two thing: First, in society, it’s assumed that being “beautiful, sexy, pretty, hot, etc.” is a blessing and should be received with open arms. And two, it’s no hidden secret that individuals with certain “desired characteristics” tend to have more opportunities in social and economic settings. Consequently, it’s widely thought that the first sentiment and the second automatically mean an individual is comfortable with this privilege.

Yes, I’m calling it a privilege because it’s true- aesthetically pleasing people have more given to them. But it’s also true that what is given is NOT always wanted. I have been told on numerous occasions I am so beautiful, that to be shy or awkward when given attention is ludicrous. Honestly, people truly believe that my looks should instill in me a sense of pride and accomplishment. When in reality, I am self-conscious on so many levels because I know no matter what I wear, which type of style I pick for that day, I will be given unwanted attention. Very unwanted attention.

I can honestly say I will be street harassed at least once every week. Generally it happens on the way to and from work, when going to the gym, out buying groceries, going to a sporting event, and getting into my car after dinner. In case you missed it… IT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE!

For example: just last week I was at Walmart and waiting in the self-checkout line. I only had one item to buy and the man ahead of me had around twenty or so items. When he glanced back at me, saw that I had the one, he told me to go ahead because he would be a while. I said, “thank you” and smiled at his generosity. Little did I know that I was actually being asked to go ahead of him because, in his words, “I had a nice ass and was a fine piece of meat.” I stood there for 30 second while he moaned and whistled under his breathe and said that over and over again. For 30 second I was sexually harassed as I rushed through to get out of the store. I sprinted for my car and got in just in time to breathe.

Can you imagine feeling that way on a regular basis? That’s not a compliment. That’s my personal hell.

– DT

Location: Oklahoma City, OK

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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Two Women in Washington, DC Sexually Assault a Man

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womengropemanWhile the street harassment usually centers around women because we experience it and are usually impacted by it the most, some men experience street harassment and violence too. In our 2014 nationally representative study, 25% of men said they’d experienced it, with a disproportionate number of them identifying as LGBQT. While most said other men harassed them, there were some who said the perpetrators were women. This recent news story in Washington, DC, is an example of what that can look like:

Via NBC Washington:

“Ayanna Marie Knight, 22, of Las Vegas, was charged with third-degree sexual abuse, police said late Tuesday, explaining that an “observant pedestrian” alerted them of Knight’s location. Police are still looking for the second woman.

Video released Monday by the Metropolitan Police Department shows the man waiting in a checkout line at a gas station on the 1700 block of New York Avenue NE about 4 p.m. Oct. 7 when a woman in front of him begins to dance and rub her body against him. A second woman, dressed in red, follows the man and appears to grope him repeatedly.

According to a police report, the women “used force and grabbed (the victim’s) groin and buttocks multiple times in a very aggressive manner without his permission and without his consent.”

The victim told News4 he was humiliated by the attack. “I was assaulted sexually,” he said, asking that his name be withheld. “I felt 100 percent violated. I felt really humiliated also, because when someone is just grabbing your body parts without your permission, no matter who it is, that’s just a violation completely.”

The man said he tried to back away, but the woman continued to advance. “As they were grabbing me, it wasn’t like they were grabbing pants or anything like that,” he said.

The victim asked two cashiers at the gas station to call police, but they “just sat there,” he said. Frustrated, he walked outside and started dialing the number himself. He said he tried to get into his car, but the women grabbed his arm and in an effort to prevent him from leaving. He broke free, walked into the gas station’s car wash and called police. The women eventually left, he said.”

Groping, assault, and sexual harassment are never okay. Everyone should be treated with respect and should be asked for consent before anyone does anything physical (even for a hug). I hope he will be okay.

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“They are a bunch of creeps”

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My neighbors always hire the same company to do there landscaping. The issue is this specific company happens to be extremely inappropriate. On many occasions me and other neighbors of mine have catcalled by them. My friend who is under age was sitting in her car waiting for the girl she is babysitting to get off the bus and the landscaping guys drove by and beeped the horn. Then they drove by again and were blowing kisses and beeping the horn. Keep in mind these are grown men dealing with an under age girl.

My friend was shaking. She called me and asked what to do. I told her if she was really scared the situation would escalate to call 911. This catcalling incident was probably the worst we have had with that company. However this summer there were many occasions I was running and they would drive by and stick there heads out the windows and yell something at me.

Honestly, I’m so over these perverts and I really hope my neighbors fire them because they are a bunch of creeps.

– Anonymous

Location: New Jersey

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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“I just walked away feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable”

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I was walking home alone after school and a group of men (in their 30’s) had their eyes on me. Luckily there were two boys from my school in front of me so I walked close to them. Then one of the men looked at me and screamed, “WOWZA!”

And I just walked away feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.

– Anonymous

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea.

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